Re: Intro - new to group - sorry, very long -domerdaddy

August 25, 2009

Just wanted to say a couple of things...

You're right that you can only work on a few things at a time. It would be too

overwhelming for your daughter anyway.

Regarding the teachers. I know just how you feel. Sometimes I think to myself

that I'll never have to see them or socialize with them once the school year is

over so I'll just push ahead. Sometimes after a bad spell, I send in a $5 gift

card for Dunkin Donuts. I take a lot of opportunities in between to thank them

for their consideration and efforts. When it gets right down to it, they have

to abide by any accommodations or IEP she has whether they like it or not. It's

their job and you didn't intentionally make the situation what it is. It's a

tough call, what to divulge or not to divulge, but no matter what, it's not your

fault and no one can make it your fault.

Perhaps instead of taking away privileges, have her earn them. Computer/video

game time is not a necessity. If she earns the time (by speaking and behaving

kindly toward herself and others and by not being destructive and by doing the

things that you expect of her) rather than have it taken away, the emphasis is

a positive one. My son has been explosive in the past and I find that when

these rules were put into place, the anger/rage was less directed toward me or

others and more about the situation/frustration. I give a warning to be fair.

I use a token or a game card or something to visually represent to him what he's

earned and he " spends " it after dinner when he's shown me that he controlled

himself that day. Once he earns it and it's the time for him to play , it

cannot be taken away. However, bad behavior afterward and until the next day at

game time will affect his privilege to play. Perhaps you can sit down with her

when she's not raging and explain that you can't allow things to continue like

that and explain what you want to do. Help her problem solve about the morning

rush (clothes out the night before?), ect... Praise her for every solution she

comes up with and for each stretch of time she's doing well.

There have been times when I have let my son eat what he wanted too and I gave

him a multi-vitamin in the morning. Perhaps ensure?

Hang in there. You have a lot on your plate and your doing a good job.

Bonnie

August 26, 2009

Thank you so much for the kind and thoughtful reply. Your suggestions are very

helpful.

>

> Just wanted to say a couple of things...

>

> You're right that you can only work on a few things at a time. It would be

too overwhelming for your daughter anyway.

>

> Regarding the teachers. I know just how you feel. Sometimes I think to

myself that I'll never have to see them or socialize with them once the school

year is over so I'll just push ahead. Sometimes after a bad spell, I send in a

$5 gift card for Dunkin Donuts. I take a lot of opportunities in between to

thank them for their consideration and efforts. When it gets right down to it,

they have to abide by any accommodations or IEP she has whether they like it or

not. It's their job and you didn't intentionally make the situation what it is.

It's a tough call, what to divulge or not to divulge, but no matter what, it's

not your fault and no one can make it your fault.

>

> Perhaps instead of taking away privileges, have her earn them. Computer/video