Re: reached my end * graphic

[Guest guest]

{{{{Kerri Sue}}}}

I know I just joined the group but wanted to say that your post

really moved me.I also had an abusive mother and I do believe it

affects the rest of our lives.

I hope things turn around for you very soon and that you begin

to feel better.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Guest guest]

& Kerri Sue,

I missed the original post...my Mom was abusive (still is) too. Only

with me though...it's a 'family tradition'...first born daughter is

NOT to be loved. LOL! I make light of it, but it was an awful

childhood. I've been told that the physical abuse could have been

a 'trigger' for my MS...my neurologist actually told me this. He said

they have found a direct correlation with physical abuse & accident

prone children...they are much more likely to have MS as adults. I

thought that was very interesting. I had both...abuse & I was accident

prone. LOL!

For me though, the worst part, the part that has never

completely 'left', is the verbal/mental abuse. To this day I struggle

with letting people too close & I fear people who love me won't love

me 'later'...make sense? I don't dwell on it or anything, but in the

back of my mind is always the same thing...my own mother doesn't love

me, why should you? Isn't that ridiculous?! And, even though I know

I'm a good person, I worry that people will see 'the real me' & see

how awful I am. Like I said, this isn't a 'conscious' or 'constant'

thought, but it's there none-the-less.

When I first found out about the RA, I actually told my husband he

could leave if he wanted...that I would understand. It really upset

him. But, all I could think at the time was, I'm not that 'great' to

begin with...I can't even work full-time, cook all the meals, keep the

house clean, etc. Why on earth would he want to be 'saddled' with

someone who might be disabled eventually on top of all that other

crap?! Let's just say I had a major pity party & my hubby attended &

reassured me, etc. LOL! I know that at least part of my reaction was

because of the abuse. I've never thought of myself as 'normal' & I

believe this also is because of always being told I was hated, ugly,

fat, etc., etc.

Anyway, I'm with you guys!!

Cami

--- In , " M. " <rachaelmitchell@y...>

wrote:

>

> {{{{Kerri Sue}}}}

> I know I just joined the group but wanted to say that your post

> really moved me.I also had an abusive mother and I do believe it

> affects the rest of our lives.

> I hope things turn around for you very soon and that you begin

> to feel better.

> You are in my thoughts and prayers.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, thats sounds just like how I feel. I was in foster homes as a

child. So far I have proven right that the people I love have let me

down or abandoned me. I wanted my hubby to be there for me and he

hasn't. My family is deceased which may be a blessing in disguise as

his family are a big enough pain in the butt and mine was never there

for me anyway.

On an upnote my children are the light of my life. They are so

understanding. I hope they at least will have empathy for those less

fortunate than we are.

cassy

> >

> > {{{{Kerri Sue}}}}

> > I know I just joined the group but wanted to say that your post

> > really moved me.I also had an abusive mother and I do believe it

> > affects the rest of our lives.

> > I hope things turn around for you very soon and that you begin

> > to feel better.

> > You are in my thoughts and prayers.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Cassy,

My husband is adopted. He was 5 years old when him & his two sisters

(both junkie's & currently in prison - disowned by adoptive family)

were taken from their bio parents. 6 years old when my in-laws

adopted them. When they asked the kids if they could adopt them, the

only thing my husband asked was, " Will I have to eat liver? " LOL! I

guess the foster home he was in had liver once a week & my DH

absolutely HATES liver!!

DH has the same issues regarding abandonment...makes it really easy

for him to relate to my concerns. I'm SO lucky to have him. I know

most people don't have a relationship like ours & I thank God every

day for this man!!

Sorry to hear about your family! Regardless of whether family is a

pain or not, it's still rough to not have them.

Cami

> > >

> > > {{{{Kerri Sue}}}}

> > > I know I just joined the group but wanted to say that your

post

> > > really moved me.I also had an abusive mother and I do believe

it

> > > affects the rest of our lives.

> > > I hope things turn around for you very soon and that you begin

> > > to feel better.

> > > You are in my thoughts and prayers.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>