from naz

[Guest guest]

let me start by saying tah at the moment we are doing ok. everyone

has said tah Mal's funeral was spectactular. The convoy of trucks

followed by cars streched for kms.

My 7yo is ok but 3yo doesnt understand its taking my 3-4 hrs at

night to get her to sleep. Im exausted.

Had a really tough week. People are being so generous and Im having

a hard time just accepting it. I know all i have to do is say

thankyou, but this doesnt seen enough.

The card and what was in it from the ccb was so unexpected and yet

so generous I dont know what to sy. I have decided that you are my

gaurdian angels sent to help, and all I can do is say thanks. It was

my sons 7th birthday today, and we sat on the bed this morning, and

he said it doesnt matter if u didnt get me a present daddy mummy got

me one. Daddy did get him a newcastle knights dooner cover which is

what he wanted, and he was soooo excited. He only got a few things

this year and he said that this was the best pressant he had ever

got. He broke my heart this morning. god only knows how im going to

go on xmas day.I know in me head that I have to do xmas for the kids

but i just dont want to. my mum keeps asking what I want. I dont

want any pressants, The only thing I want I cant have so, it seems

of no point to have anything. I know I have to do it for the little

ones, but GOD give me strength for this day, I think Im going to

need it. I think I would like to goto the cremotorium for an hr on

xmas day by myself, It might shock me into reality that My

beauitiful husband has really left this earth forever.

financial crap is causing my lots of grief that I dont really need

at the moment. someone please tell me why at social security

knowbody seems to know what they are doing or give u they same info.

It has taken 5 visits and 1 meltdown to convince them that $13.63 is

not going to buy stuff for xmas or food for that matter. on the last

visit today I raised my voice to the lady that told me to come back

tomorow. and bring all this paperwork, because I had been told cut

off was 4.30 so got there at 4 and cut off was 3.30. I told her that

this is my 6yo son you tell him why he cant have anything for xmas,

because you wont pay for 1/2 hr overtime. not really her fault

however, does knowone have any compassion any more.

Super co said it would be 4-6 mths to pay out super, solicitor has

lost the will, and 9 calls later still dont have it.

grandfathers builders wont fix his door until after xmas, as they

sent invioce to wrong address, and bank wouldnt stop morgage payment

without signature from hubby. Do they not get what dead means.

births deaths and marriages have sent me a death certificate with

the wrong cause of death on it, and the autopsy has not even been

finialised yet. ARe people just stupid at this time of year , or

maybe its me being verrrryyy irrrational.

Sorry for the winging, but it amkes me a little calmer to wing to

you lot.

naz