Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Dear Tess, Chronic pain is an isolating experience because, unless you've been there, you can't imagine how inescapable it is. Deep inside I think people assume that you can just stop dwelling on it and it will get better. I think that's one of the coping mechanisms that our family members develop. They'd feel so helpless otherwise. Still, they need to understand how unhelpful their brand of sympathy is. That's why its important to talk to people like us who know. Whine anytime and I hope you feel better soon. By the way, can anyone tell me--I took my third weekly dose of methotrexate last night. When should I start noticing a difference if it is going to do any good? laura Grammi B <grammi_love@...> wrote: Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is systemic? " OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. Love to all... Tess in Oregon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Dear Tess, Chronic pain is an isolating experience because, unless you've been there, you can't imagine how inescapable it is. Deep inside I think people assume that you can just stop dwelling on it and it will get better. I think that's one of the coping mechanisms that our family members develop. They'd feel so helpless otherwise. Still, they need to understand how unhelpful their brand of sympathy is. That's why its important to talk to people like us who know. Whine anytime and I hope you feel better soon. By the way, can anyone tell me--I took my third weekly dose of methotrexate last night. When should I start noticing a difference if it is going to do any good? laura Grammi B <grammi_love@...> wrote: Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is systemic? " OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. Love to all... Tess in Oregon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 , From my own experience, Methotrexate is working within the first 3-4 weeks and should be at its full benefit after the 8th week. I found this to be true with me. My RA dr. said any dosage adjustments shouldn't be made before 8 weeks. Your Dr. may need to adjust your dosage if you are not feeling better after 8 weeks? I don't know very much yet either. I am only on week 10 of Methotrexate. I also take Naprosen. Are you on any anti-inflams? Does MTX med make your tummy upset? I take it on Fridays and feel kind of crappy for a couple of days. I have (this is gross) burps that are vomity tasting, nausea, blah, blah... The first few weeks were worse, but still have some side-effects. I hope this is helpful~bree > > Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. > > My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is > systemic? " > > OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. > > Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. > > I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. > > Love to all... > > Tess in Oregon > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 , From my own experience, Methotrexate is working within the first 3-4 weeks and should be at its full benefit after the 8th week. I found this to be true with me. My RA dr. said any dosage adjustments shouldn't be made before 8 weeks. Your Dr. may need to adjust your dosage if you are not feeling better after 8 weeks? I don't know very much yet either. I am only on week 10 of Methotrexate. I also take Naprosen. Are you on any anti-inflams? Does MTX med make your tummy upset? I take it on Fridays and feel kind of crappy for a couple of days. I have (this is gross) burps that are vomity tasting, nausea, blah, blah... The first few weeks were worse, but still have some side-effects. I hope this is helpful~bree > > Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. > > My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is > systemic? " > > OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. > > Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. > > I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. > > Love to all... > > Tess in Oregon > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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