Hi

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thank you for your response and I agree with what you've said. But what so many people don't understand (and I'm not directing this toward you, for I believe you have an extremely compassionate heart), is that each one of us are at different levels in regard to our illnesses. Yet "WE COME AS A COMPLETE PACKAGE." The physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain are all connected. We're being pulled apart into tiny little pieces by Politicians; Doctors; Science; Corporations; News Media; Attorneys; Family; People we thought were friends; Not including the general public. The bottom line is - We have been chemically poisoned and we are ill. Some at a higher level than others, but that isn't even the point! Most of us grew up trusting, respecting and admiring people that worked in the field of medicine; We trusted the implant manufactures would not put a device on the market, to be placed in our bodies, if they knew it would harm us; How many of us believed these implants were FDA approved? (I, for one, did) If some Doctor is going to cut me open and place this foreign object against my chest wall, telling me "Unless I take a heavy blow to my chest, these will last me all my life," then I not only believe him (as my Doctor and Surgeon), but I also believe they had been approved by the FDA; I believed in Freedom of Speech, until I discovered my speech had been twisted, dissected, turned around and then legally documented in such a way, that my own words were used against me; I believed in the Attorney's who said to me, "Allot of wrong has been done here, but I'm going to help you!" And that is exactly what they did, only it wasn't me they helped; Oh my goodness - then there are the family and friends whom you believe will be there to support you through this horrible ordeal - just to wake up one day and find yourself alone; As for the public? They believe what they hear from people in high places (they believe the Doctors; FDA; Scientists; Implant Manufactures; Attorneys and the News Media).

"And it all comes as a complete package!"

Love and Hugs............

Heer <cjheer@...> wrote:

Hi

I agree there are some mean and nasty people out there that would love to take us down and make us into nothing, but it isn't going to happen, even if I do decide to take a rest from the support forum I will never ever forget the crimes done to me and to my many sisters through implants.

Had I known all this I never would have allowed this to happen.

Well. so sorry about your kitty, like is a shame sometimes, we must be strong and have faith,

I hope everyone here gets to find out what it is like to heal soon.

It seems to get harder before it gets better and our emotional state can really make our health worse so I feel it is so important to work thought the emotional issues and then we can come to terms with the physical ones, hope that makes sense as I am getting so sleepy.

Good to here from e and again,

Love ya ,

----- Original Message -----

From: Curry

Sent: Monday, December 17, 2001 10:17 PM

Subject: Welcome back, e :-)

Hi e, I am so far behind in my email messages and just opened your message tonight. I truly hope you're feeling better and I, as well as I'm sure the rest of the support members, wish we could take "all" your pain away.

e, I can't imagine all that you've been through (bringing you to the point of wanting to give up) and I'm not going to pretend I know. But I do understand.

Just this week alone, a Doctor whom I was told had knowledge of chemical poisoning by way of migrating silicone gel, apparently had a memory lapse. The Neurologist I told you about four months ago? You know, the one that said I was Severely Psychotic? Well, I just received her four page medical report "today" and though I never thought I would live long enough to see this happen, she did an absolutely fantastic job of completely destroying my entire medical history. And with the help of resident and student colleagues, there is no one in the medical field that will ever listen to me now.

I also had to put our kitty (my husband and I had for nine yr's) to sleep. The Vet gave him a shot, laid him in my arms and I held him till he died. Other than my husband, our kitty had more love and compassion in his little heart than most "human beings" in the profession of "The Healing Arts!" Then I find out two days ago, a woman whom I befriended, violated my confidence. And this all happened in just one week! e, please don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to compare my pain with your's. I could never know all that you've been through. But I do know this! I have met some of the most wonderful people (such as yourself) in this support group. God does not make mistakes, so please don't ever think yourself less, than one of God's own beautiful, sensitive and compassionate souls. He loves you with a love so pure, that it will take us all Eternity just to try and understand it. I've also met some of the most mean, hateful, inconsiderate and selfish individuals of my life, over this silicone issue. As a military dependent for the first 30 yr's of my life, I've met people from all walks of life, yet I must say, "This is not the same world I grew up in!" And I can honestly tell you that I no longer want to "be," not the way this world is today. But if anyone of us gives in to the pain, then we would not only have given up on ourselves, but we will have also given up on God. So much has been taken from us! I'm still fighting for my SSD and it's now been four yr's and one month! No one can understand "why" I've been continually denied. I know why, but can't prove it, so I have no other choice except to keep telling the truth, hoping that someone will one day be strong enough to stand up and say, "This is wrong" and then make it right! Please, don't give anymore of yourself to mean, uncaring people; or to pain; or give in to any negative conceptions of yourself. You are a gift from God, you have purpose and you are loved. Love and Hugs...........

eRene@... wrote: To All,I am a little hesitant to write anything, but I felt it my duty to let you all know I am alive. Yes, you were all correct in assuming I had hurt myself. The last wk I spent in ICU, finally getting out Wed and returning to work Thurs.What I want to convey is thank you for your concern, although I feel your concern for me has come at a cost to the groups, and I never intended that at all. I simply intended to die and be done with all the miserable pain and agony that is my life. I am not getting better and in fact found out that I have worsened degenerative disk disease in my back, as well as a question of osteoporosis. In addition I have several herniated disks in my spine from T-12 down to S-1, with a disk at the lumbar/sacral area causing nerve root compression. I am also waiting for xray and CT results of my C-spine. However, it was not just my health that prompted me to take drastic action. I have been grieving the loss of 5 friends in the WTC collapse, the death of my grandparents within 4 days of each other, finding out friends that I thought were "true" friends were only fair weather friends, and doctors that are suddenly giving me the run around. Needless to say, I found my coping skills nonexistent, and everything just became too overwhelming.I am so sorry to have caused everyone such worry, and believe me, I never wanted fighting to begin amongst everyone. In reading the posts, I can only cry because it is all my fault. Please accept my apologies.That said, the peacefulness that I experienced while in ICU was so nice--a far cry from the hell I have been living in for the last 1.5 months. I want to have that peace again, and maybe someday I will. Without friends to bounce things off of, to discuss issues with, and to seek guidance from, all I have is myself and my self hatred and low self esteem.Again, please accept my apologies for any turmoil I caused. I don't want anyone to hate me or be disgusted by me.e