Soccer Stress Update

[Guest guest]

Aloha All,

Soccer was cancelled last Sunday due to rain...ironic because we have NEVER had

to cancel because of rain since our league's inception in 2005...so at least had

a couple weeks off from the stress..

I am forwarding the assistant coach's email follow-up about the dual-permitting

situation below...in case you missed the circumstances that have me so

frustrated please read below. I put her reply in quotation marks beneath this...

Your thoughts are appreciated after you read other coach's input below...we are

taking pictures of other parks in our neighborhood tomorrow where our typical

neighborhood kids play to see if they have parties with bouncy houses and LOUD

compressors in the middle of THEIR soccer fields...we are thinking that we may

have enough to file if so...

I wrote previously...

During our Fall season last year, at least 5 out of the eight practice/game days

found us having to share our soccer park with large birthday parties. Large

groups of people milling around, large compressors for large bouncy houses

equals a whole new level of noise and a whole new challenge with our players'

behaviors especially with those who are diagnosed with autism.

After advocating last year with our Regional Coordinator regarding how this dual

park permitting situation affects our player's sensory challenges we were

promised that the park would no longer be permitted to anyone else.

Unfortunately, it seems that the assistant coaches didn't follow through with

the permitting process this year and this afternoon we had a huge party right in

the middle of our field.

So of course, Aubrey, who has been doing really well (keeping her hands to

herself, not pushing or running into other kids,with behavioral intervention

from the DOE behavioralist-we got DOE support last year when Aubrey sped off

across the field and I couldn't stop her and she jumped into a bouncy house

there and pushed down all the other kids jumping in there and even punched a

little girl who was jumping in front of her) for weeks until today...AubreyÂ

jumps out of the car, gets slammed with the already loud noise of the compressor

and starts freaking out running and then of course sees the bouncy house where

our field usually is and starts kicking and screaming to run and get into

it...all the while the other 12 special needs parents are staring...I'm super

upset asking how this could be happening yet again when we were promised it

wouldn't...

Nothing like feeling judged by OTHER special needs parents...

With essentially no respite for the past three months I really just wanted to

take my daughter home at that point because I was too angry and just did not

have the energy to deal with it all...I knew they could handle it without me as

Aubrey's missed the past two weeks because of her sister's illness, not to

mention that if we send Aubrey's DOE support people home that jeopardizes the

service hours if not utilized...so I had no choice but to stick it out.

So as expected, after the event was over, I get chewed out from the assistant

coach for getting upset about the double permitting problem rearing its ugly

head in this new season yet again. She felt it was my attitude that set Aubrey

off (I was in a great place this morning before I got there!) and also told me

that my attitude wasn't fair to the other 12 kids we needed to service. That my

attitude wasn't fair because she was doing this to support Aubrey and our

family...This assistant coach who undeniably has a great heart-was oblivious to

the other three kids with autism who had been crying for most of the practice

and unable to participate as they usually do and how their parents were also

feeling...

It's been almost five years now and I still can't get this coach (who coaches

mainstream U12 girls and VIP but also represents us at our AYSO Board Mtgs since

I can't bring Aubrey to them) to understand the heightened sensory needs of most

of our players, the need for a visual schedule (if I'm not there it doesn't

happen), the need for strict routine...and even though they're mostly wonderful,

generous friends at this point I feel they still don't get it...my heart is

breaking as I feel I have failed to advocate successfully for not only my own

child but for the others on our field...and yet this program would not exist

without them, too.

I have never ever seen a party going on the same field where typical children

were playing soccer...

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Assistant Coach's Update Email this week...

" Just wanted to give you an update on what I’ve learned this week regarding

the Miracles and  Field.

Â

·        On Thursday I went to District Park and met with . She

and Casey are tasked with assigning permits to organizations and groups for the

fields in Mililani. confirmed that there is a permit in place for the

use of Holaniali’i Field for the period September 18 through November 6 for

the Mililani Miracles VIP program. Also, I was told that we do not have to

have a copy of the permit on us while we’re at the field because we’re not

obligated to prove we’re supposed to be there because District Park has

authorized us for our season.

Â

·        Regarding other group gatherings at the field, the Parks and

Recreation Department does not grant permits for parties. However, they do

give permits for “picnics,†which can be a group of people gathering around

one of the tables already there or setting up their own and placing a birthday

cake on top, if that’s what the gathering is for. If these “picnicâ€

gatherings want to have an inflatable, they can; they just have to get a permit

from District Park first and prove they won’t be using the city’s

electricity or water. The group that was at the field last Sunday with the

inflatable did have a permit for it. Normally the Parks Department requests

two weeks’ notice for anyone wanting to receive a permit, but the request can

be made as late as two days before the event. suggested I speak with

Casey, who would be in the next day, because he would know about any last-minute

requests for Holaniali’I that

weren’t yet entered in their computers. So I left my number, and he called

back. I asked if there were any “picnics,†especially with inflatables,

scheduled for the next three weeks. The answer was that there are not any this

weekend, and so far none have come in for the next two weekends after that –

but, again, people can make a late request, so it was suggested that we check

the Thursday before to see if there are any late requests.

Â

·        District Park made it clear that sometimes people who

haven’t requested a “picnic†permit just show up at a park and have their

event. They have no control over that because the parks are public areas, so

those people cannot be denied access.

Â

·        The permit for our VIP dates for February and March’s

every-other-Sunday meetings is being worked on now. They are February 5, 19

and March 4 & 18. The Kirk Banks Tournament is March 23rd-25th. On our spring

season permit, a request will be made to insert the provision that “picnicsâ€

and inflatables be relegated to the side of the park that is to the right of the

restroom on our meeting days.

Â

When I was at District Park, I was told about requests from larger organizations

and sports clubs that wanted to use part of Holaniali’I Field on particular

Sundays. They were assigned to different fields as a courtesy to the VIP

Miracles. So I was happy and encouraged to hear that the Mililani VIP program

has that level of recognition for its participants. "

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YOUR THOUGHTS OUT THERE?

Mahalo!

Desi