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Hi,

Theirs this family that I babsitt. They have I think

a 4th grader who doesn't have any problems, a 2nd

grader that's autistic, 2 cats and a dog. Anyhow,

they addopted a 3 yr old Russian Girl about 4 months

ago. They know that the girl has some developmental

delays and some weight and height issues- and is

dealing with stranger anxiety.

=====

Friends Till The End

__________________________________________________

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In a message dated 2/26/01 1:56:58 PM Eastern Standard Time,

usercameron7001@... writes:

<< I look forward to reading the posts, and hearing from you all.

Terri (0:

>>

Welcome Terri!

What a wonderful family!!!! You are very blessed. Looking forward to your

posts about Jordan and the gang. I'm sure you have lots of tips to share

with us too! That is, if you have time to share them! You must be kept

pretty busy. :-)

Gail

Gail, Mom to; Seth-5 ds/asd/pdd/pica, jo-8, Becky-10, -23, Jen-25,

Grandma to Errick-4

and wife to -my hero

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  • 10 years later...

Carol: Welcome to the group! My name is Liz, mom to Tori, 11 yrs old and

we live in the Lehigh Valley. I am originally from NY, have no immediate

family local and am 53 yrs old..so you sister and her family are not alone!

=)

Liz

On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM, Carol wrote:

> **

>

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area. We

> used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was looking for

> ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing from

> social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in

> common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so energy

> is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time jobs and

> caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in high school,

> the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is learn

> ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel they

> have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very welcomed!

> Thanks!

>

> Carol

>

>

--

Liz DeSantis " The person who follows the crowd will usually get no further

than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places

no one has ever been before. "

" Creativity in living is not without its attendant difficulties, for

peculiarity breeds contempt. And the unfortunate thing about being ahead of

your time is that when people finally realize you were right, they'll say it

was obvious all along. " ---Temple Grandin

" Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold

it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's

true strength. " - Reeves

" Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can

understand persistence. " - Hal Borland

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Hi,

We're in NJ, in the Philly 'burbs. We have 4 kids. DS10, DS8 (both have

Asperger's syndrome), DS6 (our , who has DS/Autism) and a DD5. We're in

our 40's but can relate to feeling very tired!!! And yes, it's hard to find

people we have much in common with in terms of 's challenges, but there

are always people who are kind.

Sent from my iPhone

> Carol: Welcome to the group! My name is Liz, mom to Tori, 11 yrs old and

> we live in the Lehigh Valley. I am originally from NY, have no immediate

> family local and am 53 yrs old..so you sister and her family are not alone!

> =)

>

>

> Liz

>

> On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM, Carol

wrote:

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> Hi Everyone,

>>

>> My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area. We

>> used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was looking for

>> ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing from

>> social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in

>> common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so energy

>> is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time jobs and

>> caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in high school,

>> the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is learn

>> ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel they

>> have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very welcomed!

>> Thanks!

>>

>> Carol

>>

>>

>

>

>

> --

> Liz DeSantis " The person who follows the crowd will usually get no further

> than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places

> no one has ever been before. "

>

> " Creativity in living is not without its attendant difficulties, for

> peculiarity breeds contempt. And the unfortunate thing about being ahead of

> your time is that when people finally realize you were right, they'll say it

> was obvious all along. " ---Temple Grandin

> " Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold

> it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's

> true strength. " - Reeves

> " Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can

> understand persistence. " - Hal Borland

>

>

>

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Carol,

Aloha from Hawai'i. First of all, let me say that many, many of us on this list

would die to have just one relative like you to show such loving and sincere

support even from miles away! It is rare that our list hears from a

sibling...Know that your love and support has buoyed your sister more than you

will ever know.

For many of us, the courage and energy to venture out into the world comes in

waves. I am a single parent of a beautiful teen named Aubrey 13, who has Down

syndrome, autism and is hearing impaired and who has an older sister , who

is a junior in high school. I just made 56 and am doing it on my own. Barely.

Your sister and I have much in common...

Our withdrawal from family has come from relatives who do not sincerely make the

effort to get to know the needs of and interact with my beautiful child. Too

much work. Too much responsibility. Aubrey mostly signs to communicate (as you

can see in the you tube link below) but none of my four brothers have learned a

single sign over the years. Aubrey has so much to say and none of them care

enough to listen. Aubrey is such a beautiful human being inside and out and I

feel it is such a loss for my family. In Portuguese, we say " mais fica " which

means MORE FOR ME! :)

This has been the most devastating aspect of having a child with multiple

disabilities. My typical daughter in high school, who understands how poorly her

sister is treated (if you shun one niece, it stands to reason you will shun her

sibling as well) by her own flesh and blood-has become so heartbroken that she

herself has cut all ties with my brothers. No amount of therapy can ease that

kind of pain. Thus we have surrounded ourselves with like-minded friends who

have become our family.

Your sister is Blessed to have you and is welcome to email me anytime!

 

Desi, and Aubrey McKenzie

Mililani, Hi

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:54 AM

Subject: New to Group

 

Hi Everyone,

My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area. We used

to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was looking for ways to

give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing from social

interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in common with

anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so energy is waning and

they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time jobs and caring for

and helping their older sons, one a senior in high school, the other last year

of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is learn ways I can support them

and also connect them with people they feel they have more in common. Any

thoughts and suggestions would be very welcomed! Thanks!

Carol

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Desi,

& nbsp; & nbsp;I cried and laughed and cried again!! & nbsp;Her signing is amazing!!

Aubrey is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! GORGEOUS!!! And most definitely TALENTED! What a sweet

angel. & nbsp;Please give her a hug for me!!! & nbsp;

Lots of love,

Sent from my Palm Pre on the Now Network from Sprint

On Oct 16, 2011 12:14 PM, Desi McKenzie & lt;desimckenzie@... & gt; wrote:

& nbsp;

Carol,

Aloha from Hawai'i. First of all, let me say that many, many of us on this list

would die to have just one relative like you to show such loving and sincere

support even from miles away! It is rare that our list hears from a

sibling...Know that your love and support has buoyed your sister more than you

will ever know.

For many of us, the courage and energy to venture out into the world comes in

waves. I am a single parent of a beautiful teen named Aubrey 13, who has Down

syndrome, autism and is hearing impaired and who has an older sister , who

is a junior in high school. I just made 56 and am doing it on my own. Barely.

Your sister and I have much in common...

Our withdrawal from family has come from relatives who do not sincerely make the

effort to get to know the needs of and interact with my beautiful child. Too

much work. Too much responsibility. Aubrey mostly signs to communicate (as you

can see in the you tube link below) but none of my four brothers have learned a

single sign over the years. Aubrey has so much to say and none of them care

enough to listen. Aubrey is such a beautiful human being inside and out and I

feel it is such a loss for my family. In Portuguese, we say " mais fica " which

means MORE FOR ME! :)

This has been the most devastating aspect of having a child with multiple

disabilities. My typical daughter in high school, who understands how poorly her

sister is treated (if you shun one niece, it stands to reason you will shun her

sibling as well) by her own flesh and blood-has become so heartbroken that she

herself has cut all ties with my brothers. No amount of therapy can ease that

kind of pain. Thus we have surrounded ourselves with like-minded friends who

have become our family.

Your sister is Blessed to have you and is welcome to email me anytime!

& nbsp;

Desi, and Aubrey McKenzie

Mililani, Hi

________________________________

From: Carol & lt;bexpressa2003@... & gt;

To:

Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:54 AM

Subject: New to Group

& nbsp;

Hi Everyone,

My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area. We used

to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was looking for ways to

give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing from social

interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in common with

anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so energy is waning and

they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time jobs and caring for

and helping their older sons, one a senior in high school, the other last year

of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is learn ways I can support them

and also connect them with people they feel they have more in common. Any

thoughts and suggestions would be very welcomed! Thanks!

Carol

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Hi Carol: you and your sister are most welcome on this list.

I no longer live in PA, but lived in Chester County before we all retired

to the North GA mountains. We moved to Chester County specifically because

there were APS in the vicinity for our son when we realized that public

school would not be an option.

We found that help for our son - who was ages 10-20 while we lived in PA,

were found thru the county mental health/mental retardation board in the

county. I made sure that I got myself on the committee so I would

understand how things worked.

While my son was still in school (he ended up going to ELWYN in Delaware

County - paid for by combined SCx and State), he received a sum of money for

monethly 'respite-habilitation " which gave our family a break from constant

child monitoring and helped get im out in the community without us.

On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM, Carol wrote:

> **

>

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area. We

> used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was looking for

> ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing from

> social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in

> common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so energy

> is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time jobs and

> caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in high school,

> the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is learn

> ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel they

> have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very welcomed!

> Thanks!

>

> Carol

>

>

--

Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana.

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Oh - I forgot in welcoming you: we have 6 children, 4 adopted. Elie is our

youngest son, and we adopted hiom at 9 months knowing he had DS - the ASD

was a later present.

On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 1:14 PM, Desi McKenzie wrote:

> **

>

>

> Carol,

>

> Aloha from Hawai'i. First of all, let me say that many, many of us on this

> list would die to have just one relative like you to show such loving and

> sincere support even from miles away! It is rare that our list hears from a

> sibling...Know that your love and support has buoyed your sister more than

> you will ever know.

>

> For many of us, the courage and energy to venture out into the world comes

> in waves. I am a single parent of a beautiful teen named Aubrey 13, who has

> Down syndrome, autism and is hearing impaired and who has an older sister

> , who is a junior in high school. I just made 56 and am doing it on my

> own. Barely. Your sister and I have much in common...

>

> Our withdrawal from family has come from relatives who do not sincerely

> make the effort to get to know the needs of and interact with my beautiful

> child. Too much work. Too much responsibility. Aubrey mostly signs to

> communicate (as you can see in the you tube link below) but none of my four

> brothers have learned a single sign over the years. Aubrey has so much to

> say and none of them care enough to listen. Aubrey is such a beautiful human

> being inside and out and I feel it is such a loss for my family. In

> Portuguese, we say " mais fica " which means MORE FOR ME! :)

>

> This has been the most devastating aspect of having a child with multiple

> disabilities. My typical daughter in high school, who understands how poorly

> her sister is treated (if you shun one niece, it stands to reason you will

> shun her sibling as well) by her own flesh and blood-has become so

> heartbroken that she herself has cut all ties with my brothers. No amount of

> therapy can ease that kind of pain. Thus we have surrounded ourselves with

> like-minded friends who have become our family.

>

> Your sister is Blessed to have you and is welcome to email me anytime!

>

>

>

> Desi, and Aubrey McKenzie

> Mililani, Hi

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:54 AM

> Subject: New to Group

>

>

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area. We

> used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was looking for

> ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing from

> social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in

> common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so energy

> is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time jobs and

> caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in high school,

> the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is learn

> ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel they

> have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very welcomed!

> Thanks!

>

> Carol

>

>

>

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I wish we had " respite-habilitation " here in NJ.

Sent from my iPhone

> Hi Carol: you and your sister are most welcome on this list.

>

> I no longer live in PA, but lived in Chester County before we all retired

> to the North GA mountains. We moved to Chester County specifically because

> there were APS in the vicinity for our son when we realized that public

> school would not be an option.

>

> We found that help for our son - who was ages 10-20 while we lived in PA,

> were found thru the county mental health/mental retardation board in the

> county. I made sure that I got myself on the committee so I would

> understand how things worked.

>

> While my son was still in school (he ended up going to ELWYN in Delaware

> County - paid for by combined SCx and State), he received a sum of money for

> monethly 'respite-habilitation " which gave our family a break from constant

> child monitoring and helped get im out in the community without us.

>

> On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM, Carol

wrote:

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area. We

> > used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was looking for

> > ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing from

> > social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in

> > common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so energy

> > is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time jobs and

> > caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in high school,

> > the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is learn

> > ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel they

> > have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very welcomed!

> > Thanks!

> >

> > Carol

> >

> >

>

> --

> Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana.

>

>

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Thru your county or Community services board or even try thru UCP. There is

ususally some way to get it. Even in GA, beefore we qualified for MEdicaide

waiver, we were able to get $2500 a year to use for that service. It is

worth searching for - a ssanity saver.

> **

>

>

> I wish we had " respite-habilitation " here in NJ.

>

>

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>

>

>

>

> > Hi Carol: you and your sister are most welcome on this list.

> >

> > I no longer live in PA, but lived in Chester County before we all retired

> > to the North GA mountains. We moved to Chester County specifically

> because

> > there were APS in the vicinity for our son when we realized that public

> > school would not be an option.

> >

> > We found that help for our son - who was ages 10-20 while we lived in PA,

> > were found thru the county mental health/mental retardation board in the

> > county. I made sure that I got myself on the committee so I would

> > understand how things worked.

> >

> > While my son was still in school (he ended up going to ELWYN in Delaware

> > County - paid for by combined SCx and State), he received a sum of money

> for

> > monethly 'respite-habilitation " which gave our family a break from

> constant

> > child monitoring and helped get im out in the community without us.

> >

> > On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM, Carol <bexpressa2003@...

> >wrote:

> >

> > > **

>

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi Everyone,

> > >

> > > My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area.

> We

> > > used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was

> looking for

> > > ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing

> from

> > > social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in

> > > common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so

> energy

> > > is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time

> jobs and

> > > caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in high

> school,

> > > the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is

> learn

> > > ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel

> they

> > > have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very

> welcomed!

> > > Thanks!

> > >

> > > Carol

> > >

> > >

> >

> > --

> > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana.

> >

> >

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Not sure what UCP is. We're NJ. I'm working with the DDD to get out-of-home

respite care once a month, on Saturdays. Hoping to also get someone to come do

ABA with him but that's a bit harder.

Sent from my iPhone

> Thru your county or Community services board or even try thru UCP. There is

> ususally some way to get it. Even in GA, beefore we qualified for MEdicaide

> waiver, we were able to get $2500 a year to use for that service. It is

> worth searching for - a ssanity saver.

>

>

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > I wish we had " respite-habilitation " here in NJ.

> >

> >

> >

> > Sent from my iPhone

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > > Hi Carol: you and your sister are most welcome on this list.

> > >

> > > I no longer live in PA, but lived in Chester County before we all retired

> > > to the North GA mountains. We moved to Chester County specifically

> > because

> > > there were APS in the vicinity for our son when we realized that public

> > > school would not be an option.

> > >

> > > We found that help for our son - who was ages 10-20 while we lived in PA,

> > > were found thru the county mental health/mental retardation board in the

> > > county. I made sure that I got myself on the committee so I would

> > > understand how things worked.

> > >

> > > While my son was still in school (he ended up going to ELWYN in Delaware

> > > County - paid for by combined SCx and State), he received a sum of money

> > for

> > > monethly 'respite-habilitation " which gave our family a break from

> > constant

> > > child monitoring and helped get im out in the community without us.

> > >

> > > On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM, Carol <bexpressa2003@...

> > >wrote:

> > >

> > > > **

> >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Hi Everyone,

> > > >

> > > > My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area.

> > We

> > > > used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was

> > looking for

> > > > ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing

> > from

> > > > social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in

> > > > common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so

> > energy

> > > > is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time

> > jobs and

> > > > caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in high

> > school,

> > > > the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is

> > learn

> > > > ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel

> > they

> > > > have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very

> > welcomed!

> > > > Thanks!

> > > >

> > > > Carol

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > > --

> > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana.

> > >

> > >

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Share on other sites

UCP= united Cerebal Palsy - but they service all groups. their family

camps are the best - lots of staff so you can really relax.

> **

>

>

> Not sure what UCP is. We're NJ. I'm working with the DDD to get out-of-home

> respite care once a month, on Saturdays. Hoping to also get someone to come

> do ABA with him but that's a bit harder.

>

>

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>

>

>

> > Thru your county or Community services board or even try thru UCP. There

> is

> > ususally some way to get it. Even in GA, beefore we qualified for

> MEdicaide

> > waiver, we were able to get $2500 a year to use for that service. It is

> > worth searching for - a ssanity saver.

> >

> > On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 6:12 PM, Cookson

> wrote:

> >

> > > **

>

> > >

> > >

> > > I wish we had " respite-habilitation " here in NJ.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Sent from my iPhone

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > > Hi Carol: you and your sister are most welcome on this list.

> > > >

> > > > I no longer live in PA, but lived in Chester County before we all

> retired

> > > > to the North GA mountains. We moved to Chester County specifically

> > > because

> > > > there were APS in the vicinity for our son when we realized that

> public

> > > > school would not be an option.

> > > >

> > > > We found that help for our son - who was ages 10-20 while we lived in

> PA,

> > > > were found thru the county mental health/mental retardation board in

> the

> > > > county. I made sure that I got myself on the committee so I would

> > > > understand how things worked.

> > > >

> > > > While my son was still in school (he ended up going to ELWYN in

> Delaware

> > > > County - paid for by combined SCx and State), he received a sum of

> money

> > > for

> > > > monethly 'respite-habilitation " which gave our family a break from

> > > constant

> > > > child monitoring and helped get im out in the community without us.

> > > >

> > > > On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM, Carol <

> bexpressa2003@...

> > > >wrote:

> > > >

> > > > > **

> > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Hi Everyone,

> > > > >

> > > > > My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia

> area.

> > > We

> > > > > used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was

> > > looking for

> > > > > ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing

> > > from

> > > > > social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have

> little in

> > > > > common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s,

> so

> > > energy

> > > > > is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time

> > > jobs and

> > > > > caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in

> high

> > > school,

> > > > > the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do

> is

> > > learn

> > > > > ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel

> > > they

> > > > > have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very

> > > welcomed!

> > > > > Thanks!

> > > > >

> > > > > Carol

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > > --

> > > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana.

> > > >

> > > >

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There's a CP-run " mom's day out " which is the respite we're trying to get. The

DDD has to refer us. <red tape ugh>

I wish there were someone I could hire (with no $$!) to take over 's

mealtimes. A successful meal in this house is one where doesn't yell at

anyone, takes more than two bites without prompting (not even in a row) and

finishes in under an hour. I am so envious of families who can relax together

in the evenings...it just isn't happening here.

Sent from my iPhone

> UCP= united Cerebal Palsy - but they service all groups. their family

> camps are the best - lots of staff so you can really relax.

>

>

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Not sure what UCP is. We're NJ. I'm working with the DDD to get out-of-home

> > respite care once a month, on Saturdays. Hoping to also get someone to come

> > do ABA with him but that's a bit harder.

> >

> >

> >

> > Sent from my iPhone

> >

> >

> >

> > > Thru your county or Community services board or even try thru UCP. There

> > is

> > > ususally some way to get it. Even in GA, beefore we qualified for

> > MEdicaide

> > > waiver, we were able to get $2500 a year to use for that service. It is

> > > worth searching for - a ssanity saver.

> > >

> > > On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 6:12 PM, Cookson

> > wrote:

> > >

> > > > **

> >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > I wish we had " respite-habilitation " here in NJ.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Sent from my iPhone

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > > Hi Carol: you and your sister are most welcome on this list.

> > > > >

> > > > > I no longer live in PA, but lived in Chester County before we all

> > retired

> > > > > to the North GA mountains. We moved to Chester County specifically

> > > > because

> > > > > there were APS in the vicinity for our son when we realized that

> > public

> > > > > school would not be an option.

> > > > >

> > > > > We found that help for our son - who was ages 10-20 while we lived in

> > PA,

> > > > > were found thru the county mental health/mental retardation board in

> > the

> > > > > county. I made sure that I got myself on the committee so I would

> > > > > understand how things worked.

> > > > >

> > > > > While my son was still in school (he ended up going to ELWYN in

> > Delaware

> > > > > County - paid for by combined SCx and State), he received a sum of

> > money

> > > > for

> > > > > monethly 'respite-habilitation " which gave our family a break from

> > > > constant

> > > > > child monitoring and helped get im out in the community without us.

> > > > >

> > > > > On Sun, Oct 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM, Carol <

> > bexpressa2003@...

> > > > >wrote:

> > > > >

> > > > > > **

> > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Hi Everyone,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia

> > area.

> > > > We

> > > > > > used to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was

> > > > looking for

> > > > > > ways to give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing

> > > > from

> > > > > > social interactions, even from family, feeling like they have

> > little in

> > > > > > common with anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s,

> > so

> > > > energy

> > > > > > is waning and they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time

> > > > jobs and

> > > > > > caring for and helping their older sons, one a senior in

> > high

> > > > school,

> > > > > > the other last year of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do

> > is

> > > > learn

> > > > > > ways I can support them and also connect them with people they feel

> > > > they

> > > > > > have more in common. Any thoughts and suggestions would be very

> > > > welcomed!

> > > > > > Thanks!

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Carol

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > --

> > > > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana.

> > > > >

> > > > >

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Hi Carol,

My name is (26yrs.) I'm mom to Elias who is 6 years old he is my only

child (Down Syndrome & Autism). I don't have much family around but the ones I

have I just started to try to reconnect with because since my child was born

things happened and it was not possible for me to take him to other peoples

home. One because he was getting sick all the time and I had to withdraw from

people, because he cried over most sounds, because he would get overwhelmed

around people coming over, and so many more things. He has no friends and no

family that he is currently connected with, but we are in the process of

changing that I hope. Now that we are one year into ABA I'm able to control some

of his unwanted behaviors. I do tell friends and family he can break things tell

them as much as I can on what can happen. I started telling friends and family I

will go over but if my son get aggressive I will have to leave and they knew I

was not trying to be rude just trying to get my son to adapt to new settings,

and it's hard because we have only a few families that can understand this or

are willing to try to work with our family. Welcome to our group this is that

place were we understand and are understood :o)

Desi,

Is this your daughter on youtube? It's so beautiful, I'm showing this to my son

maybe he can learn it and we can sign it this Christmas :o)

>

> Carol,

>

> Aloha from Hawai'i. First of all, let me say that many, many of us on this

list would die to have just one relative like you to show such loving and

sincere support even from miles away! It is rare that our list hears from a

sibling...Know that your love and support has buoyed your sister more than you

will ever know.

>

> For many of us, the courage and energy to venture out into the world comes in

waves. I am a single parent of a beautiful teen named Aubrey 13, who has Down

syndrome, autism and is hearing impaired and who has an older sister , who

is a junior in high school. I just made 56 and am doing it on my own. Barely.

Your sister and I have much in common...

>

> Our withdrawal from family has come from relatives who do not sincerely make

the effort to get to know the needs of and interact with my beautiful child. Too

much work. Too much responsibility. Aubrey mostly signs to communicate (as you

can see in the you tube link below) but none of my four brothers have learned a

single sign over the years. Aubrey has so much to say and none of them care

enough to listen. Aubrey is such a beautiful human being inside and out and I

feel it is such a loss for my family. In Portuguese, we say " mais fica " which

means MORE FOR ME! :)

>

> This has been the most devastating aspect of having a child with multiple

disabilities. My typical daughter in high school, who understands how poorly her

sister is treated (if you shun one niece, it stands to reason you will shun her

sibling as well) by her own flesh and blood-has become so heartbroken that she

herself has cut all ties with my brothers. No amount of therapy can ease that

kind of pain. Thus we have surrounded ourselves with like-minded friends who

have become our family.

>

> Your sister is Blessed to have you and is welcome to email me anytime!

>

>  

>

> Desi, and Aubrey McKenzie

> Mililani, Hi

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:54 AM

> Subject: New to Group

>

>

>  

> Hi Everyone,

>

> My sister has an 10 year old child in the Philadelphia area. We used

to live much closer but are now in 450 miles away and I was looking for ways to

give her support and found your group. They are withdrawing from social

interactions, even from family, feeling like they have little in common with

anyone anymore. Both parents are approaching mid 50s, so energy is waning and

they are often overwhelmed with maintaining full time jobs and caring for

and helping their older sons, one a senior in high school, the other last year

of undergrad. What I am hoping to be able to do is learn ways I can support them

and also connect them with people they feel they have more in common. Any

thoughts and suggestions would be very welcomed! Thanks!

>

> Carol

>

>

>

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