A Shameless Brag

[Guest guest]

Had to write a shameless brag. We've started a new incentive program with

(I know, " not another one, " but this one seems to be working). I tried pennies,

but it just got too hard to carry around 100 pennies and trade for nickels and

dollars. Plus, I had to be sure I brought a bank, and the ones he hadn't earned

yet everywhere we went. SO, I found a blank shape book (a house, randomly

picked) and got a rubber stap for a 5 x 5 grid, and stamped 4 to a page. Then I

taped a piece of cardstock cut down to the back to make a pocket for extra

sheets of chart stickers. I made very few rules: first time obediance gets 2

stickers, participation in a group activity gets 10, but sitting quietly instead

of participating gets 2 (disruptive behavior gets 0), eating all of his supper

gets 5, if it's within 30 minutes, an extra 2). I also will give extras just

for being good.

I was having a really hard time getting him to read his words above a whisper,

and a whispered " rat " doesn't sound much different than a whispered " ran " . I

tried threatening, I tried timers, then it just suddenly hit me. I was in the

middle of saying " For every word you whisper. . . " trying to come up with a

threat that I could carry through on, and I changed mid-sentence. " For every

word you say without whispering, I'll give you a sticker for your book. " He

knows that when he fills a page (100 stickers - they're really small) it's a

dollar of his allowance. He immediately earned 30 stickers. Small price to pay

for knowing he knows the words.

I also started doing a Bible study first thing in the morning, before the kids

get up, leaving 's nap time open for some more school work. He's getting

used to it, but he doesn't like it. This morning, I was convicted of something

(can't remember exactly where it is in the Bible). There's a passage that

starts out Children honor your parents. I usually remember that part, but it

goes on to say, Fathers (I take as Parents) do not provoke your children. I

realized that me letting him wind me up, and then coming down on him harder was

a viscious circle. When we started school, I just shared that with him. We

start with a Bible lesson, and I had been trying to explain sin to him as doing

something God doesn't want you to do, or not doing something He does. I

explained how I had sinned and asked his forgiveness. He just looked down

(almost embarrassed) and I told him it was really important to me that he

forgive me. He said he did and we went on to have the best day yet. It's even

leaked over into this afternoon. His therapist went with the kids to the

nursery while I went to a Bible study at church, and she said he had a really

good day there, too. She couldn't go into details because we ran 40 minutes

over (not getting started on time), but said she'd tell me about it Friday.

Wife to Dewight

Mom to , 10 yrs, DS, PDD-NOS and celiac

and , 19 months and strong-willed

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