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Have a question. Everything I have been reading says the average mental age

of an adult with down syndrome is 8. Why then do they have to work? I

wouldn't send my *normal* 8 year old out to work every day. I would send her

out to play, watch TV and do school. Do adult ds people not think like an 8

year old kid? Do they want to be adults? Do they WANT to work, or would

they rather be treated like kids? Am I generalizing? My mind is geared

towards children and not adults, but this doesn't make sense to me.

Gail

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Boy have you opened a can of worms! this is the constant struggle - does

one aim for age appropriate based on chronological age or mental age??

here is a short list of where these things go: Elie is 15, loves Sesame

Street. Do I make him watch MTv as more " age appropriate " ? Same for music

choices and even on what he listens to music - He loves his Fisher-Price

tape player (numer 5) but the last behaviorist we had here told us we were

infantalizing him because he should have a tape player and/or a walkman. He

does have a walkman, but uses it when we travel. He still prefers Sesame

Street or kids folk tapes to any other music. Same with going to the movies

- He likes kids movies and musicals. definately NOT teen fare.

Work - he can set and clear the table. Is he ready to work at McD? Not

hardly. Would I let him go malling - DUH!!!!

and we could go on.

Sara

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Hi Gail,

My 16 year old daughter has DS (without any *autism*). Speaking for her, she

wants very much to get a job, drive, have a boyfriend, get an apartment, and

a check book.

She also plays with her Barbies everday. She has a " job " at her high school.

For 1 period a day, she works in the library-dusting, and putting books

back(with help), and also " cleans " a classroom(vacuming, and dusting). For

this she gets minimum wage, and is very proud of her money. Terri

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In a message dated 3/6/01 1:22:55 PM Eastern Standard Time,

usercameron7001@... writes:

<< Hi Gail,

My 16 year old daughter has DS (without any *autism*). Speaking for her, she

wants very much to get a job, drive, have a boyfriend, get an apartment, and

a check book.

She also plays with her Barbies everday. She has a " job " at her high school.

For 1 period a day, she works in the library-dusting, and putting books

back(with help), and also " cleans " a classroom(vacuming, and dusting). For

this she gets minimum wage, and is very proud of her money. Terri

>>

Terri,

Thanks for sharing that. I have nothing against any job that any of my kids

want to do. As long as they enjoy it and do well at it. Even toilet

cleaning or stuffing envelopes. I have entertained the possibility of doing

those exact same things to bring some extra money into the house. :-) So,

your 16 year old can be an adult for a short time, and then get to *play*?

That is so cool! I mean that she can do, and wants to do both. Seems like a

very happy coexistence to me. Thanks again Terri.

Gail

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In a message dated 3/6/01 6:42:48 PM Eastern Standard Time,

pastmidvale@... writes:

<< He still prefers Sesame

Street or kids folk tapes to any other music. Same with going to the movies

- He likes kids movies and musicals. definately NOT teen fare. >>

Sara,

This is the type of thing that bother me. So what if Elie like Sesame

Street? It is then *appropriate* for him, isn't it? At the day treatment

and residential centers here, if the person can *request* a Disney movie or

cartoon, they can watch it. If they can't request, then they have to watch

an adult type, age appropriate movie that they haven't got a clue about.

This doesn't make any sense to me. Age appropriate doesn't mean crap, does

it? Here's another one....the speech therapist at one of the day centers

told me one of the clients asked her to put a pretty bad swear word on his

device. She did it because of freedom of speech and all that. She almost

lost her job because of it. She said he should be able to have it because he

requested it and he should be taught where and when it was appropriate to use

it. Like, not in group or at therapists, but it was okay with his family or

friends if it didn't offend them. Same as any *normal* adult, right? They

made her remove it and told her they would wait for him to file a grievance

or whatever. Like, who's going to help this guy do that? Boy, if I had the

time and knowledge, I know I would be at the center everyday asking what I

can do to help these people to attain what they want.

Gail

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Wow Gail, what a concept! I had never given anything like that a thought! I

was talking to a teacher once about 's loss of speech and she was

asking me what words he used to say. I told her and added that I remembered

one time when we were in the grocery store and he was sitting in the cart

saying, " *hit " over and over again. She looked at me and said, " Real nice,

Terry " . I told her, , if he would say *hit now I would make a cheer out

of it! And I meant it! LOL I wonder if anyone else has run into the

situation like that young man?

My opinion of " age appropriate " is that it is a waste of time and more for

the people around the kid/adult. We fell into that trap with a few

years ago where some educators " guilted " us into throwing away 's

" baby " stuff. The upshot was that couldn't care less about " age

appropriate " . He is who he is and he likes what he likes! We try to

introduce new things from time to time but we end up passing on that stuff

more often than not! Our goal is for to be happy and Barney videos

and stim-stuff makes him happy! So be it!

Terry

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In a message dated 3/6/01 9:58:06 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Imaddenmom@... writes:

<< He is who he is and he likes what he likes! >>

LOL Terry,

Just reminded me of things that I do that aren't age appropriate either. LOL

How many 47 year olds go sledding, build snowmen, rollerblade, wear

pigtails, and play on the swings and slides at a park. (sometimes all by

myself)! LOL Gee, Disney movies are still my favorites along with Shirley

Temple and all the musicals too. LOL

Gail

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In a message dated 3/6/01 10:31:16 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Imaddenmom@... writes:

<< Gail,

Keeps us young, huh?! LOL

Terry >>

LOL young, sore and a little bit over the edge! LOL

Gail

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sara,

me and elie have alot in common...i too love sesame street..i actually have

a sesame street desk set i bought off ebay on my desk. i love to watch

disney movies over other tv shows. i love the old return to witch mountain

one especially. ashton loves to sit and watch annie, wizard of oz, and old

shirley temple movies on saturdays with me!! ashton uses her fisher price

tape player too i think its easier because it has big buttons and not alot

of confusing crapt on it.....play stop rewind.....only need the

basics.....her walkman has elmo on it....i use it when i go to the

track......so this can go both ways, either i am just still a kid and

" infantilized " (by the way what kind of word is that " and haven't hit

maturity and still on a five year old level or she is more mature than her

mommy......yhehheheeheh i too can clean tables but prefer not too daily...i

like to leave them be three or four days so the crapt sticks on them and you

have to scrape leftovers off with butterknife....this can be a very good ot

goal for ashton....working on fine motor muscle skills with 80% accuracy 3/5

trials...hehehhe tc leah

>

>Reply-To:

>To:

>Subject: Re: mentally 8

>Date: Mon, 05 Mar 2001 20:24:03 -0500

>

>Boy have you opened a can of worms! this is the constant struggle - does

>one aim for age appropriate based on chronological age or mental age??

>

>here is a short list of where these things go: Elie is 15, loves Sesame

>Street. Do I make him watch MTv as more " age appropriate " ? Same for music

>choices and even on what he listens to music - He loves his Fisher-Price

>tape player (numer 5) but the last behaviorist we had here told us we were

>infantalizing him because he should have a tape player and/or a walkman.

>He

>does have a walkman, but uses it when we travel. He still prefers Sesame

>Street or kids folk tapes to any other music. Same with going to the movies

>- He likes kids movies and musicals. definately NOT teen fare.

>

>Work - he can set and clear the table. Is he ready to work at McD? Not

>hardly. Would I let him go malling - DUH!!!!

>

>and we could go on.

>

>Sara

>_________________________________________________________________

>Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

>

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

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you mean rolling in the snow, building snowmen and playing on the playground

aren't age appropriate? I'm almost 46 and those are some of my favorite

things...like rollerblading too, but can't do the pigtails with this mop...I

have very " noncompliant " hair.....Anyway, I agree we ALL are who we are and like

what we like ...ds/autism or not! I've been enjoying Lady and the Tramp II

lately and I love " Bear in the Big Blue House " !

Re: mentally 8

In a message dated 3/6/01 9:58:06 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Imaddenmom@... writes:

<< He is who he is and he likes what he likes! >>

LOL Terry,

Just reminded me of things that I do that aren't age appropriate either. LOL

How many 47 year olds go sledding, build snowmen, rollerblade, wear

pigtails, and play on the swings and slides at a park. (sometimes all by

myself)! LOL Gee, Disney movies are still my favorites along with Shirley

Temple and all the musicals too. LOL

Gail

http://www.onelist.com/community/

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