Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 When Aden was very young I met a woman who had fostered 17 kids with DS. The first thing she said to me was that ALL 17 were as stubborn as any other person you'd ever meet. I think she was right, but to me stubborn is not a negative. It's a descriptor for a person who is incredibly persistent even in the face of overwhelming odds. So when people have asked me if Aden is stubborn I say yes. It's not a bad thing in fact it's the reason he's made the progress he has. At times it can be incredibly frustrating because he never gives up on ANYTHING, but overall it's been a blessing. In our family we brag 21 is the stubborn chromosome, and Aden has 3 Hugs, Mom to Aden 8 (DS, ASD, ADHD) and Aren 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 We too have taken to using the term " persistant " . It does not have the negative connotation that stubborn has. On Wed, May 25, 2011 at 4:56 PM, Concerned Parent wrote: > > > When Aden was very young I met a woman who had fostered 17 kids with DS. > The > first thing she said to me was that ALL 17 were as stubborn as any other > person > you'd ever meet. I think she was right, but to me stubborn is not a > negative. > It's a descriptor for a person who is incredibly persistent even in the > face of > overwhelming odds. So when people have asked me if Aden is stubborn I say > yes. > It's not a bad thing in fact it's the reason he's made the progress he has. > At > times it can be incredibly frustrating because he never gives up on > ANYTHING, > but overall it's been a blessing. In our family we brag 21 is the stubborn > chromosome, and Aden has 3 > > Hugs, > > Mom to Aden 8 (DS, ASD, ADHD) and Aren 4 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Yes, I agree. *I* myself am stubborn, but I direct it (most of the time) in positive ways, which manifests itself as assertiveness (and I can be reasoned with). My son cannot be reasoned with. Some people (friends, HA!) have called me aggressive, overly assertive, or one even called me belligerent. <==LOL. I think stubborn independence can become a good trait to have, but in this case, he is stubborn for EVERYTHING. OMG....everything. I have even asked him if he wanted something he likes/loves in the face of his perserverence and he flat out said an affirmative " NO " , crossed his arms, stuck out his lip, bent his eyebrows and stormed off (albeit slamming the door along the way). Go figure. In order to get him to do his Touch Math today, I had to hold him in my lap and keep redirecting every few minutes to stay (forcibly holding with the table and my arms to his sides blocking him from getting up) Unwillingly, he complied and finished the session. But I feel it should not be this way. That is just an educational example. Mostly, he gets mad (angry) because he does not get his way. He wants it his way all the time. He sees only his way. I hope this changes soon. P.S. Still wondering about corn and soy...as some days as worse than others. I will have to keep a journal if I cannot definitively decide. For now, we are removing all corn to see if that stays a consistent change. If not, we will move on to all soy. > > When Aden was very young I met a woman who had fostered 17 kids with DS. The > first thing she said to me was that ALL 17 were as stubborn as any other person > you'd ever meet. I think she was right, but to me stubborn is not a negative. > It's a descriptor for a person who is incredibly persistent even in the face of > overwhelming odds. So when people have asked me if Aden is stubborn I say yes. > It's not a bad thing in fact it's the reason he's made the progress he has. At > times it can be incredibly frustrating because he never gives up on ANYTHING, > but overall it's been a blessing. In our family we brag 21 is the stubborn > chromosome, and Aden has 3 > > > Hugs, > > Mom to Aden 8 (DS, ASD, ADHD) and Aren 4 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Yes, this can be true. BUT knowing my children, kids can be uncooperative. Sometimes it hurts to face the truth. My son with MDS/ASD can be totally uncooperative (simply because he does not want to do what is asked of him). Isn't that what uncooperative means? > > > > > > > , > > > > At this site > > > > > http://www.facebook.com/notes/inclusion-ireland/you-and-i-by-elaine-popovich > > /301793509363 you will find the below with more statements. It is the same > > idea referring to stubborn as you said it could read I am stubborn you are > > persistent. > > > > You and I by Elaine Popovich > > > > I am a resident. You reside. > > I am admitted. You move in. > > I am aggressive. You are assertive. > > I have behavior problems. You are rude. > > I am noncompliant. You don't like being told what to do. > > When I ask you out for dinner, it is an outing. When you ask someone out, > > it > > is a date. > > > > Also three yrs ago I was in touch with Dr Pomeranz re his DVD of > > Session 4 Positive Behavior Supports. I received the DVD and in it there > is > > one slide he has that says: Lack of Understanding: To call someone lazy, > > uncooperative or stubborn is to admit we don't understand them. > > > > Summary from the back cover of the DVD of Positive Behavior Supports > > Session > > 4 > > > > " Anger Communicates Unmet Need " Dealing with anger and its' consequences > is > > one of the most difficult and important challenges faced in supporting > > people with developmental disabilities. This session is focused on > > providing " best practice approaches " to assist in supporting others in > > diminishing the causes of anger. Dr. Pomeranz assesses the > > medical/biological, psychological/psychiatric and environmental influences > > of socially inappropriate behavior. Proactive strategies for > identification > > and response to unmet needs and limitations of classical behavior > > management > > approaches are included and emphasized in this session. > > > > E. Pomeranz, Ed.D website Universal LifeStiles > > http://www.universallifestiles.com/ see link to Articles, Poems and > > Maxims. > > See his DVD series The Principles and Practices of Building Community, > > Session 4 Positive Behavior Supports. > > > > Let's all remember to think more on the positive side as reminds us. > > There are so many other factors that can affect the way someone behaves, > we > > need to find out what those are and make whatever changes need to be made. > > > > Louise, Mom to 48 > > > > < > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group//message/110616;_ylc=X3oDMTJyMjIxYWl > > > > > jBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE1BGdycElkAzQxMDMwNQRncnBzcElkAzE3MDUwMTM0ODEEbXNnSWQDMTEwNjE > > 2BHNlYwNkbXNnBHNsawN2bXNnBHN0aW1lAzEzMDYzNjU0ODE-> Stubborn > > > > Posted by: " Concerned Parent " > > <mailto:mykidsmatter@... <mailto:mykidsmatter%40ymail.com> > ?Subject=%20Re%3A%20Stubborn> > > mykidsmatter@... <mailto:mykidsmatter%40ymail.com> > <http://profiles.yahoo.com/mykidsmatter@...> > > mykidsmatter@... <mailto:mykidsmatter%40ymail.com> > > > > Wed May 25, 2011 1:56 pm (PDT) > > > > When Aden was very young I met a woman who had fostered 17 kids with DS. > > The > > > > first thing she said to me was that ALL 17 were as stubborn as any other > > person > > you'd ever meet. I think she was right, but to me stubborn is not a > > negative. > > It's a descriptor for a person who is incredibly persistent even in the > > face > > of > > overwhelming odds. So when people have asked me if Aden is stubborn I say > > yes. > > It's not a bad thing in fact it's the reason he's made the progress he > has. > > At > > times it can be incredibly frustrating because he never gives up on > > ANYTHING, > > but overall it's been a blessing. In our family we brag 21 is the stubborn > > chromosome, and Aden has 3 > > > > Hugs, > > > > Mom to Aden 8 (DS, ASD, ADHD) and Aren 4 > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Uncooperative *can* mean unhelpful, which is when I would ask was he being unhelpful in order to clarify, but also can mean obstinate, stubborn, and contrary. If I use the word uncooperative, then I mean I have asked my child (or children to do something and they refuse to help. (Like cleaning up the kitchen after dinner). If I use the other synonyms, then I have asked my son (for example) to get into the car to go to speech because it is 2:15 and we have to be there at 3:30 and he flat out refuses. Or I tell him it is time to go potty and he flat out refuses and won't budge and will not go to the potty. Or I let him know it is time to eat, he refuses to come to the table and it ends up with he refuses to budge from whatever activity he is doing to come and eat. Or we are at a water park and the water park is closing...everyone *HAS* to leave. He S/D/F's and refuses to budge, crosses his arms, and cannot be reasoned with. Sorry, I call it obstinate, stubborn, disobedient, defiant, rebellious, and any other similar word. Our kids do have abberrant behavior. By the same token, I can use the following words for him at other times: thoughtful, sweet (no, not the sugary kind!), helpful, precious, cute (not the pretty kind, although I think he is the handsome kind as well!), etc.... All I am saying is that it is so unreasonable to say there are no negative traits associated with gene overexpresion and ASD combined...because there definitely is. > > > > > > > , > > > > At this site > > > > > http://www.facebook.com/notes/inclusion-ireland/you-and-i-by-elaine-popovich > > /301793509363 you will find the below with more statements. It is the same > > idea referring to stubborn as you said it could read I am stubborn you are > > persistent. > > > > You and I by Elaine Popovich > > > > I am a resident. You reside. > > I am admitted. You move in. > > I am aggressive. You are assertive. > > I have behavior problems. You are rude. > > I am noncompliant. You don't like being told what to do. > > When I ask you out for dinner, it is an outing. When you ask someone out, > > it > > is a date. > > > > Also three yrs ago I was in touch with Dr Pomeranz re his DVD of > > Session 4 Positive Behavior Supports. I received the DVD and in it there > is > > one slide he has that says: Lack of Understanding: To call someone lazy, > > uncooperative or stubborn is to admit we don't understand them. > > > > Summary from the back cover of the DVD of Positive Behavior Supports > > Session > > 4 > > > > " Anger Communicates Unmet Need " Dealing with anger and its' consequences > is > > one of the most difficult and important challenges faced in supporting > > people with developmental disabilities. This session is focused on > > providing " best practice approaches " to assist in supporting others in > > diminishing the causes of anger. Dr. Pomeranz assesses the > > medical/biological, psychological/psychiatric and environmental influences > > of socially inappropriate behavior. Proactive strategies for > identification > > and response to unmet needs and limitations of classical behavior > > management > > approaches are included and emphasized in this session. > > > > E. Pomeranz, Ed.D website Universal LifeStiles > > http://www.universallifestiles.com/ see link to Articles, Poems and > > Maxims. > > See his DVD series The Principles and Practices of Building Community, > > Session 4 Positive Behavior Supports. > > > > Let's all remember to think more on the positive side as reminds us. > > There are so many other factors that can affect the way someone behaves, > we > > need to find out what those are and make whatever changes need to be made. > > > > Louise, Mom to 48 > > > > < > > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group//message/110616;_ylc=X3oDMTJyMjIxYWl > > > > > jBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE1BGdycElkAzQxMDMwNQRncnBzcElkAzE3MDUwMTM0ODEEbXNnSWQDMTEwNjE > > 2BHNlYwNkbXNnBHNsawN2bXNnBHN0aW1lAzEzMDYzNjU0ODE-> Stubborn > > > > Posted by: " Concerned Parent " > > <mailto:mykidsmatter@... <mailto:mykidsmatter%40ymail.com> > ?Subject=%20Re%3A%20Stubborn> > > mykidsmatter@... <mailto:mykidsmatter%40ymail.com> > <http://profiles.yahoo.com/mykidsmatter@...> > > mykidsmatter@... <mailto:mykidsmatter%40ymail.com> > > > > Wed May 25, 2011 1:56 pm (PDT) > > > > When Aden was very young I met a woman who had fostered 17 kids with DS. > > The > > > > first thing she said to me was that ALL 17 were as stubborn as any other > > person > > you'd ever meet. I think she was right, but to me stubborn is not a > > negative. > > It's a descriptor for a person who is incredibly persistent even in the > > face > > of > > overwhelming odds. So when people have asked me if Aden is stubborn I say > > yes. > > It's not a bad thing in fact it's the reason he's made the progress he > has. > > At > > times it can be incredibly frustrating because he never gives up on > > ANYTHING, > > but overall it's been a blessing. In our family we brag 21 is the stubborn > > chromosome, and Aden has 3 > > > > Hugs, > > > > Mom to Aden 8 (DS, ASD, ADHD) and Aren 4 > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Good thought. With all my kids, though, I expect them to do as asked all things within reason. That is why they are the kids and I am the parent. Too bad, Charlie Hart does not know what is in his best interest at this age. > > > > > > When Aden was very young I met a woman who had fostered 17 kids with DS. The > > > first thing she said to me was that ALL 17 were as stubborn as any other person > > > you'd ever meet. I think she was right, but to me stubborn is not a negative. > > > It's a descriptor for a person who is incredibly persistent even in the face of > > > overwhelming odds. So when people have asked me if Aden is stubborn I say yes. > > > It's not a bad thing in fact it's the reason he's made the progress he has. At > > > times it can be incredibly frustrating because he never gives up on ANYTHING, > > > but overall it's been a blessing. In our family we brag 21 is the stubborn > > > chromosome, and Aden has 3 > > > > > > > > > Hugs, > > > > > > Mom to Aden 8 (DS, ASD, ADHD) and Aren 4 > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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