Re: Report Card in the Mail....

[Guest guest]

Charlyne, DJ has not been formally diagnosed with ASD but has exhibited enough

of the characteristics as to make him not " like " the other kiddos with " just "

DS. He is also labeled as moderate (ID) & severe in language. Plus has

hearing issues.

It never makes me feel uncomfortable. In fact I love hearing the good, bad,

badder about all the kiddos here for many reasons but mostly the joy & real

connection.

Sure, I sometimes wish that DJ could be like your Zeb or countless others on

this list but it does not cause me grief. It just brings me awareness or

insights I did not have.

Ha, maybe it causes DJ grief when I learn of a new way to deal with an issue or

realize that we are still treating him like a toddler sometimes about things

like being resonsible, etc.

The other thing about bragging rights here-this group is safe & " gets it " when

it seems no one else does. Sometimes there is no one in one's family or world

to tell the brags to cause they just don't get it (or care like this group does)

Hugs

Kris

>

> Sara, Kris & Group,

> I love to hear brags from the group. Many times it makes my day. I am mindful

to not brag or only on occasion because my son does not have autism. I truly

would not want any parent to feel uncomfortable. I enjoy this group, have

learned so much and found great support. I try to pay it forward when I can.

> Charlyne

>

>

[Guest guest]

I totally agree, Kris!!   I love to hear about accomplishments, awards, etc. 

It

makes up for all the challenges and struggles.  It is so uplifting and gives us

hope!!

Irene

sister to

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wed, June 15, 2011 11:20:01 AM

Subject: Re: Report Card in the Mail....

 

Oh Charlyne! How wonderful & how proud Zeb must have been!!!!!!!!

The teacher felt Zeb deserved this-it would have been VERY easy to NOT give this

award to honor him. (Same with Lori's son, methinks)

With no one the wiser. Such is my perspective-both teachers found a desire to

honor a student's hard work.

Please always brag. Everyone brag ( & vent) because in actuality it helps us all

in some way. I know that it gladdens my heart, provides hope that things are

indeed changing & just makes my soul give a little dance whenever I read of any

of the kiddos being honored or achieving skills or being brave...so brave facing

this world AND without the filters much of the humans sadly possess.

Kris whose heart is dancing a jig

>

> Lori, Kris & Group,

> I do not normally post about Zeb's achievements but this is a prime example. A

>few weeks ago Zeb came home with an invitation to the senior award/scholarship

>evening. I couldn't imagine what he may be receiving. Both my older kids never

>were invited. I know this event is exclusive to the best of the best scholars

at

>the HS and only those select few receive an invitation. I could not imagine Zeb

>seated on this stage with the brightest HS students. It certainly was a first

>and I needed to witness this front and center. As I suspected Zeb was seated

>with his peers that had all excelled in physics, chemistry, English etc. It was

>an honor for Zeb to be included in this small group. I would bet his life that

>it was the first time a student with an intellectual disability has shared that

>stage. Each student is usually selected according to GPA or recommendation from

>the department chair of that subject. Zeb was seated with the class

>valedictorian on one side

> and another student that had received an excellence award by the science dept

>for physics.  Surprisingly Zeb received an award for outstanding

accomplishment

>and performance in vocal development. We are talking about a kid that sings

like

>a sick whale. My husband and I just looked at each other and had to muffle our

>explosive fit of laughter. We do not know what to think of this award. I do

know

>that the chorus teacher likes Zeb and masterfly includes him. He also writes

>that Zeb has no pitch. Last year at the yearly chorus concert Zeb was the

>Phantom of the Opera and was also included with three other boys in an

>accappello redition of My Guy with a little Motown dance number. The boys got a

>standing ovation.  Zeb only sang the my guy, with his deep voice but had

>perfect timing. Like many teenagers, Zeb thinks he is going to be a rock star.

I

>have done my best to redirect his efforts. I am still stunned. Zeb's yearly

>chorus concert is Thursday

> evening. I am wondering if I will hear a miracle. Zeb won't tell me what he is

>doing. He says it's a surprise. The school administration does not value

>disabled students and I can only wonder what they may have said to this teacher

>for including Zeb in their award/scholarship event. Overall I think it was

great

>that he was included and seated on that stage. I was proud of him regardless if

>he deserved that award. 

>

> Charlyne   

>

>

[Guest guest]

You'll have to let us know how he does!!!

Sent from my iPhone

> Lori, Kris & Group,

> I do not normally post about Zeb's achievements but this is a prime example. A

few weeks ago Zeb came home with an invitation to the senior award/scholarship

evening. I couldn't imagine what he may be receiving. Both my older kids never

were invited. I know this event is exclusive to the best of the best scholars at

the HS and only those select few receive an invitation. I could not imagine Zeb

seated on this stage with the brightest HS students. It certainly was a first

and I needed to witness this front and center. As I suspected Zeb was seated

with his peers that had all excelled in physics, chemistry, English etc. It was

an honor for Zeb to be included in this small group. I would bet his life that

it was the first time a student with an intellectual disability has shared that

stage. Each student is usually selected according to GPA or recommendation from

the department chair of that subject. Zeb was seated with the class

valedictorian on one side

> and another student that had received an excellence award by the science dept

for physics. Surprisingly Zeb received an award for outstanding accomplishment

and performance in vocal development. We are talking about a kid that sings like

a sick whale. My husband and I just looked at each other and had to muffle our

explosive fit of laughter. We do not know what to think of this award. I do know

that the chorus teacher likes Zeb and masterfly includes him. He also writes

that Zeb has no pitch. Last year at the yearly chorus concert Zeb was the

Phantom of the Opera and was also included with three other boys in an

accappello redition of My Guy with a little Motown dance number. The boys got a

standing ovation. Zeb only sang the my guy, with his deep voice but had perfect

timing. Like many teenagers, Zeb thinks he is going to be a rock star. I have

done my best to redirect his efforts. I am still stunned. Zeb's yearly chorus

concert is Thursday

> evening. I am wondering if I will hear a miracle. Zeb won't tell me what he is

doing. He says it's a surprise. The school administration does not value

disabled students and I can only wonder what they may have said to this teacher

for including Zeb in their award/scholarship event. Overall I think it was great

that he was included and seated on that stage. I was proud of him regardless if

he deserved that award.

> Charlyne

>

>

>

>

> Subject: RE: Re: Report Card in the Mail....

> To:

> Date: Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 11:15 PM

>

>

>

> Kris,

>

> You are too funny. I think your point was that maybe Tony earned this award

>

> in some way. I’m telling you – there is no way. I’ll admit that back in

>

> November it seemed as if his first grade readings skills (beginning first

>

> grade) were going to take off. A teacher actually worked with him for about

>

> six weeks but then the progress stopped, he was shifted back to an aide and

>

> he was back to being a blank slate when we worked with him. Those six weeks

>

> were truly the extent of his academic achievement this school year. His

>

> attendance was only a 92 per cent – not at all award worthy.

>

> I think there are all sorts of federal initiatives to promote the

>

> achievement of struggling learners – even in this category – Tony

struggles.

>

> Isaac loves to play Where in the World is Carmen San Diego – he knows all

>

> the geography. He knew which country the Nile started in (different then

>

> the country it divides) he knows all kinds of history, he can read anything

>

> and yet he still has a modified curriculum. Tony is in a whole other ball

>

> park. He’s funny and adorable but he did not win an award for academic

>

> excellence.

>

> I forgot to mention that the award came with a copy of a letter than had

>

> been signed by the President. It explained a little bit about the award but

>

> not enough that made sense to us in any way. I truly think someone (with

>

> our mindset) decided Tony deserved the award even if he didn’t really

>

> deserve the award. We just wish we knew who we could off our blessing to.

>

> I’m glad you have interesting boys. Imagine how boring parenthood would be

>

> without them.

>

> Lori

>

> _____

>

> From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

>

> Of kaprisock

>

> Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 9:34 PM

>

> To:

>

> Subject: Re: Report Card in the Mail....

>

> Lori, I dunno...there are actual times when a child does earn an award such

>

> as the one your Tony brought home. His is one that should make him feel good

>

> since it says " achievement " & is connected to a presidential initiative. Far

>

> more significant than straight 100's on a report card (given the knowledge

>

> that they do not know how the program works yet)

>

> Perhaps I am being cynical & silly about DJ's report card. I have two adult

>

> sons. Son #1 was the type of student that makes teachers take drugs. He was

>

> not motivated in high school & it showed. He could bring an F to an A in 6

>

> weeks, thanks to my judicial use of groundation, as he is a very social

>

> person. Son#1 did not enjoy reading & was the type from a young age that

>

> could take apart something to either fix it or see how it worked & then

>

> correctly re-assemble it. Lectures & reading was not how he learned best.

>

> Today he excels at everything he does. (and enjoys reading, hurrah)

>

> Son #2 effortlessly made 100's through his entire school life (including

>

> university). He actually was/is material & was in gifted classes &

>

> AP. He was also the type that drove some teachers to want to do drugs

>

> because when I say effortlessly, I mean he NEVER cracked a book or appeared

>

> like other's in AP or appeared to come to class prepared. Math teachers

>

> initially would be annoyed that he had no calculator & others assumed he was

>

> not paying attention.

>

> He did not bring a calculator because he did not need one-which stunned

>

> teachers once they bothered to make the discovery. Same with him being quiet

>

> which does not equate inattentive. He is just wired to somehow absorp

>

> lectures & glancing thru books/materials to assimilate a complete

>

> understanding or knowledge.

>

> Both my adult sons together could design & make the perfect & safest plane

>

> known to man. But you would want a specific son to fly it & a specific son

>

> to assemble it.

>

> They were fortunate in the timing of their public school. I shudder to

>

> imagine either of them in school now with all the teach to the test &

>

> testing that's currently happening.

>

> I know it seems I am rambling but I did have a point (somewhere). Maybe my

>

> point is that some awards (and grades) are very very meaningful. My son #1's

>

> grades that went from F to A were far more meaningful than DJ's 100s. Son#2

>

> awards for community service & his academic scholarship from his football

>

> coach was more meaningful to him than any awards he ever received. DJ's

>

> awards in grade school in reading or most improved trumps any others he

>

> received.

>

> Because these were of the real.

>

> I'd frame your Tony's & hang it in his room.

>

> Hugs from Kris

>

>

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Hi Desi,

>

> > >

>

> > > > This may be a bit warped, but I'd probably laugh at the ridiculousness

>

> > of it and then cry a little bit (because unexpected stupid stuff in the

>

> mail

>

> > is a blindside reminder of how the system sees our kids) and then laugh

>

> and

>

> > then frame the thing (or laminate it - framings a little expensive) and

>

> hang

>

> > it up somewhere. Then I'd call my parents and tell them Darwyn beat out 2

>

> > other kids in the school rankings! Sometimes I feel the need to celebrate

>

> > the absurdity of this world we've created. For example, my husband's

>

> coming

>

> > back today from Boston with a Harvard sweatshirt for Darwyn that says

>

> Future

>

> > Graduate. I love how people can't really figure out how to respond when he

>

> > wears stuff like that. Makes me laugh to see how other people do a bit of

>

> a

>

> > double take when they read it and I think it exposes our weird social

>

> > ranking system which so rarely allows for the true value of our kids to be

>

> > acknowledged.

>

> > >

>

> > > > Take care (and please ignore this " advice? " if its not helpful).

>

> > >

>

> > > > ,

>

> > >

>

> > > > Mom to (age 11) and Darwyn ( age 7 DS ASD and a few heart

>

> > surgeries)

>

> > >

>

> > > > , Canada

>

> > >

>

> > > > Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Re: Report Card in the Mail....

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Aloha Fellow List-mates,

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > I'm still up here across he ocean and wondering how other parents like

>

> > myself

>

> > >

>

> > > > would feel if they received what I did in the mail this past

>

> weekend...

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > I opened a piece of mail (the first I have ever received) from my

>

> > daughter's

>

> > >

>

> > > > intermediate school here in Hawai'i. It was a " mainstream " report

>

> card.

>

> > >

>

> > > > My daughter has not received a mainstream report card all year...

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Let me clarify Aubrey's placement for those of you newer to the

>

> > list...Aubrey,

>

> > >

>

> > > > 13, Ds Trisomy 21, was also diagnosed with late onset PDDNOS at 9, and

>

> > is mild

>

> > >

>

> > > > to moderately hearing impaired. Aubrey is in a total communication

>

> > school, (she

>

> > >

>

> > > > is somewhat verbal but primarily signs to communicate and currently

>

> uses

>

> > a

>

> > >

>

> > > > loaner AC device for now) is based in a FSC SPED HI classroom where

>

> she

>

> > receives

>

> > >

>

> > > > most of her academics and is mainstreamed for Homeroom (that took me

>

> all

>

> > of this

>

> > >

>

> > > > past 7th grade year to get to finally happen), PE, Social Studies,

>

> > Beginning

>

> > >

>

> > > > Band, Science, etc with " modifications " and " adaptations " (school

>

> needs

>

> > a lot of

>

> > >

>

> > > > improvement here!) and of course, has an extensive IEP and the

>

> > accompanying

>

> > >

>

> > > > Quarterly Progress Reports...we are also waiting on the results of her

>

> > Hawaii

>

> > >

>

> > > > State Alternative Assessment...

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > During a recent IEP, outside of Progress Report written by SPED

>

> teacher,

>

> > I asked

>

> > >

>

> > > > if mainstream teachers could write a brief statement about how Aubrey

>

> > did in

>

> > >

>

> > > > their classes...and received nothing.

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > I digress...back to Aubrey's report card....this is how Aubrey's

>

> report

>

> > card

>

> > >

>

> > > > read:

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Her report card showed the listing of each of her classes with her

>

> SPED

>

> > teacher

>

> > >

>

> > > > listed as the teacher for each one.

>

> > >

>

> > > > Her report card showed her record of attendance-absences, tardies

>

> etc...

>

> > >

>

> > > > Aubrey received an S for each class rather than a letter grade as her

>

> > typical

>

> > >

>

> > > > peers do...

>

> > >

>

> > > > Then her report card showed her being given credit for each class she

>

> > took.

>

> > >

>

> > > > Her report card showed her GPA as 0.0 for each quarter...

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > And THEN, her CLASS RANK was listed?!?!?!----475/477.

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > I was, and still am-massively confused but most of all-livid. Why

>

> would

>

> > any

>

> > >

>

> > > > school think a special needs child's family should be sent a document

>

> > with so

>

> > >

>

> > > > many " modifications " and then include their child's class ranking? I

>

> > feel this

>

> > >

>

> > > > is the most disrespectful gesture ever shown to my child in her young

>

> > life...my

>

> > >

>

> > > > beautiful child who struggles so hard to learn but nonetheless works

>

> so

>

> > very

>

> > >

>

> > > > hard to be the best SHE can be. What a slap in her face!!!

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Your thoughts out there?

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > Shocked, deeply hurt and baffled out here in Hawai'i...

>

> > >

>

> > > > Desi

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > > ________________________________

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > >

>

> > >

>

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Charlyne,

That is just so awesome. Someone recognized your son's efforts and thought he

deserved an award. I love when someone recognizes just how hard our children

work for something even though it may not be what most people consider " award

worthy " . Yay for Zeb!

Marie

mom to Liam,7, DS,PDD, Celiac and Owen, 4

>

> Lori, Kris & Group,

> I do not normally post about Zeb's achievements but this is a prime example. A

few weeks ago Zeb came home with an invitation to the senior award/scholarship

evening. I couldn't imagine what he may be receiving. Both my older kids never

were invited. I know this event is exclusive to the best of the best scholars at

the HS and only those select few receive an invitation. I could not imagine Zeb

seated on this stage with the brightest HS students. It certainly was a first

and I needed to witness this front and center. As I suspected Zeb was seated

with his peers that had all excelled in physics, chemistry, English etc. It was

an honor for Zeb to be included in this small group. I would bet his life that

it was the first time a student with an intellectual disability has shared that

stage. Each student is usually selected according to GPA or recommendation from

the department chair of that subject. Zeb was seated with the class

valedictorian on one side

> and another student that had received an excellence award by the science dept

for physics.  Surprisingly Zeb received an award for outstanding accomplishment

and performance in vocal development. We are talking about a kid that sings like

a sick whale. My husband and I just looked at each other and had to muffle our

explosive fit of laughter. We do not know what to think of this award. I do know

that the chorus teacher likes Zeb and masterfly includes him. He also writes

that Zeb has no pitch. Last year at the yearly chorus concert Zeb was the

Phantom of the Opera and was also included with three other boys in an

accappello redition of My Guy with a little Motown dance number. The boys got a

standing ovation.  Zeb only sang the my guy, with his deep voice but had

perfect timing. Like many teenagers, Zeb thinks he is going to be a rock star. I

have done my best to redirect his efforts. I am still stunned. Zeb's yearly

chorus concert is Thursday

> evening. I am wondering if I will hear a miracle. Zeb won't tell me what he

is doing. He says it's a surprise. The school administration does not value

disabled students and I can only wonder what they may have said to this teacher

for including Zeb in their award/scholarship event. Overall I think it was great

that he was included and seated on that stage. I was proud of him regardless if

he deserved that award. 

> Charlyne