Guest guest Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go to see her often when he is home. Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in our community. Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. -- Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 How sad. I am so sorry. Hard to deal with when these kind of things happen. We'll be thinking of you and of her family as well. and family In a message dated 5/21/2011 7:22:36 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, pastmidvale@... writes: Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go to see her often when he is home. Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in our community. Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. -- Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] ------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and photos of our kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other information by including them. Don't forget, messages are a permanent record of the archives for our list. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ --------------------------------------------Yahoo! Groups Links Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 How very sad. Death is so hard to explain to our kids (let alone truly comprehend ourselves). If I remember, you've written before of how Elie still asks for his deceased grandfather after 10 years. Our kids seem to have fabulous memories for people they love. Darwyn's babysitter moved across the country a year ago and he still asks about her when he sees her picture - hoping I'll tell him she's coming to visit. Definitely a picture for Elie is a good idea and nice to have. Take care, Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry Very hard day Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go to see her often when he is home. Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in our community. Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. -- Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 He does ask about Grandpa - but more like a distant memory - no longing or real caraing - he was only 6 when my father died. He remembers him because of his 3 tenors tapes that were given him by Grandpa. I dread tomorrow. I guess the reason we have such very evil people in this world is so that when a real angel lives amongst us, we stupid humans cana atell the difference. nna was an angel to this family. > > > How very sad. Death is so hard to explain to our kids (let alone truly > comprehend ourselves). > If I remember, you've written before of how Elie still asks for his > deceased grandfather after 10 years. Our kids seem to have fabulous memories > for people they love. > Darwyn's babysitter moved across the country a year ago and he still asks > about her when he sees her picture - hoping I'll tell him she's coming to > visit. > Definitely a picture for Elie is a good idea and nice to have. > Take care, > > > Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry > > Very hard day > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go to > see her often when he is home. > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in our > > community. > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > -- > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 Oh dear Sara & Elie! I just came here for a break & saw your post. Tender heart hugs to you both. Oh Sara it is so heart touching that Elie is offering you comfort. Oh Sara. I do not know if our kiddos (or at least my kiddo)really grasp the concept of this type of permanence. I have difficulty (big time) with even the thought of trying to explain death to DJ when the time comes with a loved one. It is on my mind alot lately due to family health issues. I think he has a basic idea in a cartoon/movie fashion because of Spiderman movie because I sometimes find that he has " buried " Jessie or Woody in the laundry hamper & placed a flower on the closed lid. He will also watch me closely when it comes to the " dying " scenes in ET or The Iron Giant because I always cry. He will now put his arm around me right before the scene. But I dunno if he really gets the permanence aspect. Sigh, after all in the movies,- ET comes alive, the Velveteen Rabbit becomes real & the Iron Giant's parts start to reassemble.... Sara, maybe later on you & Elie can make a little memory book together with photos of Ms. nna & other Elie beloved ones. That might help the healing process for both of you. And also give honor to those loved. (I would suggest a variety of photos of various beings though) Heart hugs again, dear Sara. Kris > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go to > see her often when he is home. > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in our > community. > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > -- > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 Sara, I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this now. Not only do you have your own feelings to manage, but Elie's too. <<<<hugs>>>> Sent from my iPhone > How sad. I am so sorry. Hard to deal with when these kind of things > happen. > We'll be thinking of you and of her family as well. > and family > > > In a message dated 5/21/2011 7:22:36 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time, > pastmidvale@... writes: > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go > to > see her often when he is home. > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again > " Go > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in > our > community. > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > -- > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 We are collecting photos. Today was much better than I expected. Still very hard for me. Elie was able to internalize from yesterday to today. When we went to the church today for the gathering, one of his paras came to tell him Ms MAriana had died and was in heaven at rest. HE looked her in the face and said " Ms MAriana gone. " He hugged anyone who came near him or looked sad.. HE shook hands with the family and then hugged her son and daughter. I was very proud of him. Does he REALLY know? Well, I don't REALLY know so I guess he knows as much as I do. > > > Oh dear Sara & Elie! I just came here for a break & saw your post. Tender > heart hugs to you both. > > Oh Sara it is so heart touching that Elie is offering you comfort. Oh Sara. > > I do not know if our kiddos (or at least my kiddo)really grasp the concept > of this type of permanence. I have difficulty (big time) with even the > thought of trying to explain death to DJ when the time comes with a loved > one. It is on my mind alot lately due to family health issues. > > I think he has a basic idea in a cartoon/movie fashion because of Spiderman > movie because I sometimes find that he has " buried " Jessie or Woody in the > laundry hamper & placed a flower on the closed lid. He will also watch me > closely when it comes to the " dying " scenes in ET or The Iron Giant because > I always cry. He will now put his arm around me right before the scene. But > I dunno if he really gets the permanence aspect. Sigh, after all in the > movies,- ET comes alive, the Velveteen Rabbit becomes real & the Iron > Giant's parts start to reassemble.... > > Sara, maybe later on you & Elie can make a little memory book together with > photos of Ms. nna & other Elie beloved ones. That might help the > healing process for both of you. And also give honor to those loved. (I > would suggest a variety of photos of various beings though) > > Heart hugs again, dear Sara. > Kris > > > > > > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was > > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go > to > > see her often when he is home. > > > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to > > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her > > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold > in > > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go > > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he > has > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in > our > > community. > > > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's > > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > > > -- > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Sara, I am so sorry that you have lost this special lady. She sounds like she left quite a legacy. I believe that Elie *absolutely* understands what has happened. I believe that some of our kids have a sixth sense about things of which we don't have any language to articulate. I worried myself sick when Pete's beloved Nonni was dying- how to explain to him what was happening. Well, we included Pete in most of the gathering/ritual around her funeral, including the wake at the funeral home. (She had a closed casket). We did pray for Nonni when she was sick, and he participated. When we told him that she died and went to heaven, and we wouldn't see her anymore, he accepted that. It has always seemed that as long as he had a place to " put " someone, he was okay with their absence. (Grandma in Erie, Dad at work, Dad sleeping at a hotel when he was out of town, etc.) So when Pavarotti died, (a VERY big part of our daily life though his music since Pete was born!) he very quickly added Pavarotti to the list of who was in heaven. We drive by the funeral home that we used for Nonni's wake almost every day and he points to it and says, " Nonni in heaven. Pavarotti in heaven " . Just in the past year, Pete has been noticing when people cry- such as if I was watching a sad movie- and says, " Mom sad. Crying! " I honestly never in a million years thought I'd heard him say this- paying attention to what others might be feeling. He doesn't try and comfort you, but you can bet he'll pray for you! (He blesses himself and says " Pray Daddy " (or whoever is on his mind) then blesses himself again. I love your telling this story as it unfolds, Sara. It sounds to me like Elie will be a source of comfort to many people who loved her. You obviously have handled this sad situation with great sensitivity and allowed Elie the dignity of full participation. Prayers of comfort for you and all those who are mourning this lovely lady's loss. Beth 20 y/o Pete's Mum > > > > > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was > > > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go > > to > > > see her often when he is home. > > > > > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > > > > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to > > > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her > > > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold > > in > > > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > > > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go > > > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > > > > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he > > has > > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in > > our > > > community. > > > > > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's > > > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > > > > > -- > > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Thanks MB - I totally forgot about PAvorotti - have never told Elie he is gone!! Will do so. HE listens sto his tapes endlessly so we jsut never thought to tell him. Elie is in much better shape than I am. But I will get over this. Just so hard. MAriana was only 42 and taken so quickly. I have spoken to some people interested in setting up a memorial thru the school district. I would like to see one set up for ADULTS who want to continue their education in SPED to get the opportunity. na came to the USA in 1998 and worked as a 'hygienic cleaner' so she could go back to school and get another college degree(her degree from Albania was not recognized) so she could teach SPED. All her adult life she worked with people with ASD - and loved her work and her kids. > > > > Sara, > > I am so sorry that you have lost this special lady. She sounds like she > left quite a legacy. I believe that Elie *absolutely* understands what has > happened. I believe that some of our kids have a sixth sense about things of > which we don't have any language to articulate. > > I worried myself sick when Pete's beloved Nonni was dying- how to explain > to him what was happening. Well, we included Pete in most of the > gathering/ritual around her funeral, including the wake at the funeral home. > (She had a closed casket). We did pray for Nonni when she was sick, and he > participated. When we told him that she died and went to heaven, and we > wouldn't see her anymore, he accepted that. It has always seemed that as > long as he had a place to " put " someone, he was okay with their absence. > (Grandma in Erie, Dad at work, Dad sleeping at a hotel when he was out of > town, etc.) So when Pavarotti died, (a VERY big part of our daily life > though his music since Pete was born!) he very quickly added Pavarotti to > the list of who was in heaven. We drive by the funeral home that we used for > Nonni's wake almost every day and he points to it and says, " Nonni in > heaven. Pavarotti in heaven " . > > Just in the past year, Pete has been noticing when people cry- such as if I > was watching a sad movie- and says, " Mom sad. Crying! " > > I honestly never in a million years thought I'd heard him say this- paying > attention to what others might be feeling. He doesn't try and comfort you, > but you can bet he'll pray for you! (He blesses himself and says " Pray > Daddy " (or whoever is on his mind) then blesses himself again. > > I love your telling this story as it unfolds, Sara. It sounds to me like > Elie will be a source of comfort to many people who loved her. You obviously > have handled this sad situation with great sensitivity and allowed Elie the > dignity of full participation. > > Prayers of comfort for you and all those who are mourning this lovely > lady's loss. > > Beth > > 20 y/o Pete's Mum > > > > > > > > > > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher > was > > > > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We > go > > > to > > > > see her often when he is home. > > > > > > > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > > > > > > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to > explain to > > > > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see > her > > > > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also > hold > > > in > > > > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > > > > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again > " Go > > > > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > > > > > > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure > he > > > has > > > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person > in > > > our > > > > community. > > > > > > > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at > Elie's > > > > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > > > > > > > -- > > > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Oh, Sara, this is so sad, esp. with a person who made such a difference for our kids. There are just no right words to explain such a loss. Hugs, To: From: pastmidvale@... Date: Sat, 21 May 2011 21:22:13 -0400 Subject: Very hard day Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go to see her often when he is home. Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in our community. Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. -- Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Sara, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Death is terrible in any circumstance, but when it is so sudden - and avoidable- it shocks all the more. I am struck by Elie's reaction and understanding of other people's sadness, and by Pete's comprehension that when people die they are still 'there', in this place called heaven. I remember years ago reading in the UK DS magazine about an illustrated book to explain death to people with special needs. The review talked about the danger of not fully appreciating the grief that everyone feels when they lose someone they love. Your post made me think just what an important subject this is for our kids. Googled DS and bereavement and a lot of sites came up. http://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/component/content/article/28-medical-and-health\ /253-bereavement.html There's a pdf to download, and a list of reading material. Many other sites too. -mum to Matteo, 20 ________________________________ Da: Sara Cohen A: Inviato: Lun 23 maggio 2011, 03:31:19 Oggetto: Re: Re: Very hard day Thanks MB - I totally forgot about PAvorotti - have never told Elie he is gone!! Will do so. HE listens sto his tapes endlessly so we jsut never thought to tell him. Elie is in much better shape than I am. But I will get over this. Just so hard. MAriana was only 42 and taken so quickly. I have spoken to some people interested in setting up a memorial thru the school district. I would like to see one set up for ADULTS who want to continue their education in SPED to get the opportunity. na came to the USA in 1998 and worked as a 'hygienic cleaner' so she could go back to school and get another college degree(her degree from Albania was not recognized) so she could teach SPED. All her adult life she worked with people with ASD - and loved her work and her kids. > > > > Sara, > > I am so sorry that you have lost this special lady. She sounds like she > left quite a legacy. I believe that Elie *absolutely* understands what has > happened. I believe that some of our kids have a sixth sense about things of > which we don't have any language to articulate. > > I worried myself sick when Pete's beloved Nonni was dying- how to explain > to him what was happening. Well, we included Pete in most of the > gathering/ritual around her funeral, including the wake at the funeral home. > (She had a closed casket). We did pray for Nonni when she was sick, and he > participated. When we told him that she died and went to heaven, and we > wouldn't see her anymore, he accepted that. It has always seemed that as > long as he had a place to " put " someone, he was okay with their absence. > (Grandma in Erie, Dad at work, Dad sleeping at a hotel when he was out of > town, etc.) So when Pavarotti died, (a VERY big part of our daily life > though his music since Pete was born!) he very quickly added Pavarotti to > the list of who was in heaven. We drive by the funeral home that we used for > Nonni's wake almost every day and he points to it and says, " Nonni in > heaven. Pavarotti in heaven " . > > Just in the past year, Pete has been noticing when people cry- such as if I > was watching a sad movie- and says, " Mom sad. Crying! " > > I honestly never in a million years thought I'd heard him say this- paying > attention to what others might be feeling. He doesn't try and comfort you, > but you can bet he'll pray for you! (He blesses himself and says " Pray > Daddy " (or whoever is on his mind) then blesses himself again. > > I love your telling this story as it unfolds, Sara. It sounds to me like > Elie will be a source of comfort to many people who loved her. You obviously > have handled this sad situation with great sensitivity and allowed Elie the > dignity of full participation. > > Prayers of comfort for you and all those who are mourning this lovely > lady's loss. > > Beth > > 20 y/o Pete's Mum > > > > > > > > > > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher > was > > > > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We > go > > > to > > > > see her often when he is home. > > > > > > > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > > > > > > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to > explain to > > > > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see > her > > > > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also > hold > > > in > > > > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > > > > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again > " Go > > > > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > > > > > > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure > he > > > has > > > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person > in > > > our > > > > community. > > > > > > > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at > Elie's > > > > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > > > > > > > -- > > > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Thanks . I think (but how wouold I know? ) that Elie undertands. HE was able to explain to (his beloved caregiver and friend) what happened this weekend. HE even used the word sad - but immediately said - " No sad - all gone - LEave it alone. " That is his signal that he is done with that subject for now anyway On Mon, May 23, 2011 at 6:18 PM, Tracey wrote: > > > Sara, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Death is terrible in any > circumstance, but when it is so sudden - and avoidable- it shocks all the > more. > I am struck by Elie's reaction and understanding of other people's sadness, > and > by Pete's comprehension that when people die they are still 'there', in > this > place called heaven. > I remember years ago reading in the UK DS magazine about an illustrated > book to > explain death to people with special needs. The review talked about the > danger > of not fully appreciating the grief that everyone feels when they lose > someone > they love. > Your post made me think just what an important subject this is for our > kids. > Googled DS and bereavement and a lot of sites came up. > > http://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/component/content/article/28-medical-and-health\ /253-bereavement.html > > There's a pdf to download, and a list of reading material. Many other sites > too. > > -mum to Matteo, 20 > > ________________________________ > Da: Sara Cohen > A: > Inviato: Lun 23 maggio 2011, 03:31:19 > Oggetto: Re: Re: Very hard day > > Thanks MB - I totally forgot about PAvorotti - have never told Elie he is > gone!! Will do so. HE listens sto his tapes endlessly so we jsut never > thought to tell him. > > Elie is in much better shape than I am. > > But I will get over this. Just so hard. MAriana was only 42 and taken so > quickly. > > I have spoken to some people interested in setting up a memorial thru the > school district. I would like to see one set up for ADULTS who want to > continue their education in SPED to get the opportunity. na came to > the USA in 1998 and worked as a 'hygienic cleaner' so she could go back to > school and get another college degree(her degree from Albania was not > recognized) so she could teach SPED. All her adult life she worked with > people with ASD - and loved her work and her kids. > > > > > > > > > > > Sara, > > > > I am so sorry that you have lost this special lady. She sounds like she > > left quite a legacy. I believe that Elie *absolutely* understands what > has > > happened. I believe that some of our kids have a sixth sense about things > of > > which we don't have any language to articulate. > > > > I worried myself sick when Pete's beloved Nonni was dying- how to explain > > to him what was happening. Well, we included Pete in most of the > > gathering/ritual around her funeral, including the wake at the funeral > home. > > (She had a closed casket). We did pray for Nonni when she was sick, and > he > > participated. When we told him that she died and went to heaven, and we > > wouldn't see her anymore, he accepted that. It has always seemed that as > > long as he had a place to " put " someone, he was okay with their absence. > > (Grandma in Erie, Dad at work, Dad sleeping at a hotel when he was out of > > town, etc.) So when Pavarotti died, (a VERY big part of our daily life > > though his music since Pete was born!) he very quickly added Pavarotti to > > the list of who was in heaven. We drive by the funeral home that we used > for > > Nonni's wake almost every day and he points to it and says, " Nonni in > > heaven. Pavarotti in heaven " . > > > > Just in the past year, Pete has been noticing when people cry- such as if > I > > was watching a sad movie- and says, " Mom sad. Crying! " > > > > I honestly never in a million years thought I'd heard him say this- > paying > > attention to what others might be feeling. He doesn't try and comfort > you, > > but you can bet he'll pray for you! (He blesses himself and says " Pray > > Daddy " (or whoever is on his mind) then blesses himself again. > > > > I love your telling this story as it unfolds, Sara. It sounds to me like > > Elie will be a source of comfort to many people who loved her. You > obviously > > have handled this sad situation with great sensitivity and allowed Elie > the > > dignity of full participation. > > > > Prayers of comfort for you and all those who are mourning this lovely > > lady's loss. > > > > Beth > > > > 20 y/o Pete's Mum > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved > teacher > > was > > > > > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. > We > > go > > > > to > > > > > see her often when he is home. > > > > > > > > > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the > week. > > > > > > > > > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to > > explain to > > > > > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see > > her > > > > > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also > > hold > > > > in > > > > > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. > " MS > > > > > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back > again > > " Go > > > > > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > > > > > > > > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am > sure > > he > > > > has > > > > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved > person > > in > > > > our > > > > > community. > > > > > > > > > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at > > Elie's > > > > > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Sara, My deepest sympathy to you and your family. It is so sad to lose someone young so tragically.  Especially when it is someone who has made such a difference in our lives.  Elie's beloved teacher was a blessing to those whose lives she touched and will not be forgotten. Prayers and hugs, Irene sister to  ________________________________ To: Sent: Mon, May 23, 2011 5:18:46 PM Subject: Re: Re: Very hard day  Sara, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Death is terrible in any circumstance, but when it is so sudden - and avoidable- it shocks all the more. I am struck by Elie's reaction and understanding of other people's sadness, and by Pete's comprehension that when people die they are still 'there', in this place called heaven. I remember years ago reading in the UK DS magazine about an illustrated book to explain death to people with special needs. The review talked about the danger of not fully appreciating the grief that everyone feels when they lose someone they love. Your post made me think just what an important subject this is for our kids. Googled DS and bereavement and a lot of sites came up. http://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/component/content/article/28-medical-and-health\ /253-bereavement.html There's a pdf to download, and a list of reading material. Many other sites too. -mum to Matteo, 20 ________________________________ Da: Sara Cohen A: Inviato: Lun 23 maggio 2011, 03:31:19 Oggetto: Re: Re: Very hard day Thanks MB - I totally forgot about PAvorotti - have never told Elie he is gone!! Will do so. HE listens sto his tapes endlessly so we jsut never thought to tell him. Elie is in much better shape than I am. But I will get over this. Just so hard. MAriana was only 42 and taken so quickly. I have spoken to some people interested in setting up a memorial thru the school district. I would like to see one set up for ADULTS who want to continue their education in SPED to get the opportunity. na came to the USA in 1998 and worked as a 'hygienic cleaner' so she could go back to school and get another college degree(her degree from Albania was not recognized) so she could teach SPED. All her adult life she worked with people with ASD - and loved her work and her kids. > > > > Sara, > > I am so sorry that you have lost this special lady. She sounds like she > left quite a legacy. I believe that Elie *absolutely* understands what has > happened. I believe that some of our kids have a sixth sense about things of > which we don't have any language to articulate. > > I worried myself sick when Pete's beloved Nonni was dying- how to explain > to him what was happening. Well, we included Pete in most of the > gathering/ritual around her funeral, including the wake at the funeral home. > (She had a closed casket). We did pray for Nonni when she was sick, and he > participated. When we told him that she died and went to heaven, and we > wouldn't see her anymore, he accepted that. It has always seemed that as > long as he had a place to " put " someone, he was okay with their absence. > (Grandma in Erie, Dad at work, Dad sleeping at a hotel when he was out of > town, etc.) So when Pavarotti died, (a VERY big part of our daily life > though his music since Pete was born!) he very quickly added Pavarotti to > the list of who was in heaven. We drive by the funeral home that we used for > Nonni's wake almost every day and he points to it and says, " Nonni in > heaven. Pavarotti in heaven " . > > Just in the past year, Pete has been noticing when people cry- such as if I > was watching a sad movie- and says, " Mom sad. Crying! " > > I honestly never in a million years thought I'd heard him say this- paying > attention to what others might be feeling. He doesn't try and comfort you, > but you can bet he'll pray for you! (He blesses himself and says " Pray > Daddy " (or whoever is on his mind) then blesses himself again. > > I love your telling this story as it unfolds, Sara. It sounds to me like > Elie will be a source of comfort to many people who loved her. You obviously > have handled this sad situation with great sensitivity and allowed Elie the > dignity of full participation. > > Prayers of comfort for you and all those who are mourning this lovely > lady's loss. > > Beth > > 20 y/o Pete's Mum > > > > > > > > > > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher > was > > > > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We > go > > > to > > > > see her often when he is home. > > > > > > > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > > > > > > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to > explain to > > > > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see > her > > > > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also > hold > > > in > > > > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > > > > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again > " Go > > > > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > > > > > > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure > he > > > has > > > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person > in > > > our > > > > community. > > > > > > > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at > Elie's > > > > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > > > > > > > -- > > > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Hi Sara, I am so sorry that this wonderful person is gone. You and Elie were fortunate to have her in your lives if only for a short time. Charlyne Subject: Very hard day To: Date: Saturday, May 21, 2011, 9:22 PM  Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go to see her often when he is home. Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in our community. Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. -- Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Me too Sara. I am behind....been very busy with graduation, milestone bdays...that kinda thing. But I am sorry for Elie, for you, for all!! HUGS, Donna > Hi Sara, > I am so sorry that this wonderful person is gone. You and Elie were fortunate to have her in your lives if only for a short time. > Charlyne > > > > > Subject: Very hard day > To: > Date: Saturday, May 21, 2011, 9:22 PM > > > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was > > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go to > > see her often when he is home. > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to > > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her > > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold in > > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go > > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he has > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in our > > community. > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's > > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > -- > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Thanks to all who have written. Time will help. Funeral is Thurs. Now I have been told that the family would love ELie (and others who were students) to come to funeral. I am torn. > Me too Sara. I am behind....been very busy with graduation, milestone > bdays...that kinda thing. But I am sorry for Elie, for you, for all!! > HUGS, > Donna > > > > > > Hi Sara, > > I am so sorry that this wonderful person is gone. You and Elie were > fortunate to have her in your lives if only for a short time. > > Charlyne > > > > > > > > > > Subject: Very hard day > > To: > > Date: Saturday, May 21, 2011, 9:22 PM > > > > > > > > Today I opened the newspaper to find out that ELie's beloved teacher was > > > > killed in a car accident Thursday nite. Elie is home for the w/e. We go > to > > > > see her often when he is home. > > > > Tomorrow is the memorial gathering- funeral to be later in the week. > > > > I have worked all day today (between my own tears and pain) to explain to > > > > Elie that Ms nna died in an accident and that we will not see her > > > > anymore. But that tomorrow we will see his two paras (whom we also hold > in > > > > our hearts). Elie leaves me and comes back after a little while. " MS > > > > na accident. No crying, give a hug. " Later on he came back again " Go > > > > see na tomorrow? Give hugs, no cryings. " > > > > Of course we are taking him to the memorial gathering, but I am sure he > has > > > > no clue - and there will much tearfulness - she was a beloved person in > our > > > > community. > > > > Sorry for the run on, but I cannot stop myself. We last saw her at Elie's > > > > SnowBall. I am trying to get pictures of her for him. > > > > -- > > > > Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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