Re: Angry phase of my RA - for Mike2/3

October 24, 2005

Mike,

Wow, I had not thought about the bottle opening and jars and stuff

like that. I know how frustrated I get, but it has to be far worse

for you being a man and all. I think you guys put a lot of pressure

on yourselves to be able to do the " manly things " around the house

and I know that is how our society thinks so it is not any wonder

that you feel that way. It must really suck to be blunt. I am glad

you are still able to work and find satisfaction in it. When I got

done, I was in tears every single day because I simply could not

complete tasks, etc. And to be frank my employer was happy and

relieved when I got done. They don't want to fire the sick girl.

Are you getting a flu shot? I know I am with me being on the Humira

and everything. I had not thought to ask the group if they were

getting them, but I figure most of us are. Take care and thanks

again for being so helpful. This is a great group. Take care and

thanks for letting me vent.

Tracie in Maine

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I know I have not posted in awhile, but I do read as often as I

> > can. I have reached the I am really angry stage of my disease.

I

> > assume this is a normal transition now that I have been

diagnosed

> > officially with RA for a year or am I a freak? It has finally

> sunk

> > in that I am disabled probably for the rest of my life as every

> > doctor I see agrees with the disability decision. I am angry

> > because my hubby is unhappy with his job, but he can do

something

> > about that, like look for another one. Yes, it could take a

year

> or

> > more for him to find something he likes, but I don't get to

switch

> > diseases or reapply for a different one because I don't like

this

> > one. I get really angry lately about the whole mess. I am sick

> of

> > running to doctors, sick of meds, sick of not being able to do

the

> > things I want. This last doctor at this pain clinic told me I

> would

> > not be able to walk for exercise as it would be much to hard on

my

> > joints, etc., etc., like I did not know that already since I

have

> > trouble walking through the grocery store and I have handicap

> plates

> > just so I can go in and out of the grocery store. Also, I am

> still

> > going around and around about my pain management. I now have my

> > rheumy on my side who agrees that I need long-term chronic pain

> > medication, but he has to have approval because of my insurance

> from

> > my primary care physician who " does not believe in that " .

Excuse

> me

> > for not falling into the normal range of your patients. I would

> > love to switch places with him someday. I am sure my rheumy

will

> > get it all straightened out as he has vowed to, but I cannot

> believe

> > I am still fighting to just have a semi decent quality of life.

> You

> > know where you get up and get dressed and maybe walk around the

> > house a little and talk to your kids. I am just disgusted with

> the

> > whole thing and very ANGRY as I seem to keep saying. I cannot

> hold

> > all of this anger in because I am going to scream if I don't let

> it

> > out, but I just want to know if this is normal. The doctor said

> > something about going through the stages of grief and that is

what

> I

> > was doing???? Because I have lost my way of life, my job and

you

> > know what I miss the most - DANCING, yep, DANCING. My feet are

> > horrid though. Well, thanks for letting me vent and any

thoughts

> > would be greatly appreciated. I cannot imagine I am the first

> > person to get angry, but you never know.

> >

> > Angry in Maine

> >

> > Tracie

> >

October 24, 2005