Guest guest Posted December 8, 2000 Report Share Posted December 8, 2000 ,I think pinching a 15mth old baby on a muscle because it is defiant is cruel and I cannot see how it could possibly be done by a loving christian parent,I would nt do it to a dog Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2000 Report Share Posted December 8, 2000 Pat, There are all sorts of " behavior modification " therapies......just because you don't agree with the method doesn't mean it is abuse. You are certainly free to use (or not use) any form of behavior modification that works for you and your situation. There are those of us who have had severe, significant behavior problems with our kids and we are probably willing to try methods that you wouldn't conceive because we are at our wit's end. I know we tried a spray water bottle with ...spritzed him in the face every time he pinched, scratched or bit someone. I had to remind my helpers to spray once and not to drown him..........you'd be surprised how bad a 13 yr. old can hurt you! I never thought I would resort to that for behavior control. By the way, you might check 7:1. Terry Mom to , 13 yrs. ds/asd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2000 Report Share Posted December 8, 2000 Pat, I must say, that I support Lori and her choice to dicipline her son. None of the rest of us are there with her, and none of us see what she sees. I in no way think this is any kind of child abuse, and is sometimes necessary to bring our children up. Nothing Lori has ever written has caused me to think that she is an abusive mother. She is totally torn up about causing pain by adding gluten to 's diet, simply to get a " diagnosis " on paper. She carries a great burden, raising both boys, homeschooling, and living so far away from support. Instead of attacking, on this list, perhaps a private email to outline concerns, giving her a chance to reply, would be more appropriate. I may be one of the few who find Lori's actions acceptable, but I believe that insisting on high behaviorial standards and inforcing them in a loving, God-Fearing way, is our duty as parents. S On Fri, 8 Dec 2000 14:25:20 EST Tricphil@... writes: > I realise by writing this I will break the list rules,so will unsub > later > this evening,I have enjoyed being here and sharing a little in other > peoples > lives,but I have never been good at keeping my mouth shut,so Lori I > was > horrified by your advice that causing pain to our children would > stop them > being defiant and I am amazed that I am the only person on this list > who > finds this unacceptable,I hope you all have a good holiday and that > Lucille > has a safe delivery and a healthy baby,Bye Pat > > -------------------------- eGroups Sponsor > > http://www.onelist.com/community/ > ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2000 Report Share Posted December 8, 2000 Pat, I think the defining phrase is " Because he/she is defiant " . I have read Dr. Dobson's books, and agree wholeheartedly with him. If you dont, that is fine for you and your family. Obviously, Lori does agree, and we are all free to do what is the best for our family in each individual situation. My eldest daughter had her hand slapped for touching the warm radiator. She was 10 months old. I would rather do that than have her get severly scalded when it got too hot and she was defiantly going to it, when she clearly understood not to. Maybe " pinching " is not the correct term. A firm squeeze is more the thing that is done. It is an attention grabber. Not meant to cause severe pain, just grab attention and reinforce the idea of who is in charge. That is absolutely done by loving Christian parents, and in my oppinion right to do. I dont' think you have to leave, nor does Lori. It is simply a difference of opinion, and I would think we are all grown up enough to respectfully disagree. S On Fri, 8 Dec 2000 17:08:35 EST Tricphil@... writes: > ,I think pinching a 15mth old baby on a muscle because it is > defiant is > cruel and I cannot see how it could possibly be done by a loving > christian > parent,I would nt do it to a dog Pat > > -------------------------- eGroups Sponsor > > http://www.onelist.com/community/ > ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2000 Report Share Posted December 9, 2000 amen terry, i agree whole hartely, i dont beleive in spanking either but once i have slapped nathan's mouth at the doctor because he absolutely wouldnt stop spitting n everyone and everything, needless to say the light slap didnt help, but not one parent thought ill of me at the peds office full of parents. shawna. Re: child abuse > Pat, > There are all sorts of " behavior modification " therapies......just because > you don't agree with the method doesn't mean it is abuse. You are certainly > free to use (or not use) any form of behavior modification that works for you > and your situation. There are those of us who have had severe, significant > behavior problems with our kids and we are probably willing to try methods > that you wouldn't conceive because we are at our wit's end. I know we tried > a spray water bottle with ...spritzed him in the face every time he > pinched, scratched or bit someone. I had to remind my helpers to spray once > and not to drown him..........you'd be surprised how bad a 13 yr. old can > hurt you! I never thought I would resort to that for behavior control. By > the way, you might check 7:1. > Terry > Mom to , 13 yrs. ds/asd > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2000 Report Share Posted December 10, 2000 hi, I don't believe in spanking either. I haven't slapped a child before, but my mom recently told me that I was spanked when I was little. I don't remember being spanked- I just remember being put in my room, my mom pulled my hair, I got grounded rarely, and my parents told me I couldn't eat dinner. I'm guessing if I don't remember being spanked then it didn't effect me that much. About that spitting thing. I babysitt twin 12 yr old boys. That's where I was at today for 5 hourss, . . anyways I might have a suggestion about the spitting. They mostly spit when they eat, so the mom says no spitting, and she takes away the food and says that's it no more because you spitted. That might work with your spitting child, you could take away that thing that the child was on or doing. ________________________________________________________________________________\ _____ Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2000 Report Share Posted December 11, 2000 yes but what do i do at the doctors office or at school, there isnt anything he has or is doing to take away excpet the spitting. shawna. Re: child abuse > > hi, > > I don't believe in spanking either. I haven't slapped a child before, > but my mom recently told me that I was spanked when I was little. I don't > remember being spanked- I just remember being put in my room, my mom pulled > my hair, I got grounded rarely, and my parents told me I couldn't eat > dinner. I'm guessing if I don't remember being spanked then it didn't > effect me that much. > About that spitting thing. I babysitt twin 12 yr old boys. That's > where I was at today for 5 hourss, . . anyways I might have a suggestion > about the spitting. They mostly spit when they eat, so the mom says no > spitting, and she takes away the food and says that's it no more because you > spitted. That might work with your spitting child, you could take away that > thing that the child was on or doing. > > > > ____________________________________________________________________________ _________ > Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com > > > > http://www.onelist.com/community/ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2000 Report Share Posted December 15, 2000 a, I don't know. . I wish I had an answer to your question but I can't think of anything more. I'll pray that your son will stop spitting. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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