Re: Angry phase of my RA/

October 22, 2005

,

As always, thank you for being there for me all the time. I don't

know what I would have done without your support and friendship. You

totally understand me. Like I said to Judi, I was starting to feel

guilt over my anger and now that is gone. I just simply am angry,

but I do feel more alive than I have since my diagnosis so I don't

think it is necessarily a bad thing at all now. This group is the

best. Thanks again , talk to you soon.

Tracie

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I know I have not posted in awhile, but I do read as often as I

> > can. I have reached the I am really angry stage of my disease.

I

> > assume this is a normal transition now that I have been

diagnosed

> > officially with RA for a year or am I a freak? It has finally

sunk

> > in that I am disabled probably for the rest of my life as every

> > doctor I see agrees with the disability decision. I am angry

> > because my hubby is unhappy with his job, but he can do

something

> > about that, like look for another one. Yes, it could take a

year or

> > more for him to find something he likes, but I don't get to

switch

> > diseases or reapply for a different one because I don't like

this

> > one. I get really angry lately about the whole mess. I am sick

of

> > running to doctors, sick of meds, sick of not being able to do

the

> > things I want. This last doctor at this pain clinic told me I

would

> > not be able to walk for exercise as it would be much to hard on

my

> > joints, etc., etc., like I did not know that already since I

have

> > trouble walking through the grocery store and I have handicap

plates

> > just so I can go in and out of the grocery store. Also, I am

still

> > going around and around about my pain management. I now have my

> > rheumy on my side who agrees that I need long-term chronic pain

> > medication, but he has to have approval because of my insurance

> from

> > my primary care physician who " does not believe in that " .

Excuse

> me

> > for not falling into the normal range of your patients. I would

> > love to switch places with him someday. I am sure my rheumy

will

> > get it all straightened out as he has vowed to, but I cannot

believe

> > I am still fighting to just have a semi decent quality of life.

You

> > know where you get up and get dressed and maybe walk around the

> > house a little and talk to your kids. I am just disgusted with

the

> > whole thing and very ANGRY as I seem to keep saying. I cannot

> hold

> > all of this anger in because I am going to scream if I don't let

it

> > out, but I just want to know if this is normal. The doctor said

> > something about going through the stages of grief and that is

what I

> > was doing???? Because I have lost my way of life, my job and

you

> > know what I miss the most - DANCING, yep, DANCING. My feet are

> > horrid though. Well, thanks for letting me vent and any

thoughts

> > would be greatly appreciated. I cannot imagine I am the first

> > person to get angry, but you never know.

> >

> > Angry in Maine

> >

> > Tracie

> >

>

October 22, 2005

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