Re: Angry phase of my RA from mike

[Guest guest]

i know the feeling . i try to fix little things around the house . and get

ssoooo mad at myself because it is very hard for me to do . one time i was

trying to fix the kitchen sink and my wife was standing there and i got so mad

and she thought i was gettin mad at her . and we fianally sat down and i got

though to her this time . she understood me. i told her i wasn't mad at her i

was mad at myself and this & %$^ R.A. . so no you are NO freak. we all go though

it. i can still work but don't know for how much longer. it's a fight everyday.

take care tracie .. we all understand and have been there.

mike

tracierae143 <tracierae143@...> wrote:

Hi everyone,

I know I have not posted in awhile, but I do read as often as I

can. I have reached the I am really angry stage of my disease. I

assume this is a normal transition now that I have been diagnosed

officially with RA for a year or am I a freak? It has finally sunk

in that I am disabled probably for the rest of my life as every

doctor I see agrees with the disability decision. I am angry

because my hubby is unhappy with his job, but he can do something

about that, like look for another one. Yes, it could take a year or

more for him to find something he likes, but I don't get to switch

diseases or reapply for a different one because I don't like this

one. I get really angry lately about the whole mess. I am sick of

running to doctors, sick of meds, sick of not being able to do the

things I want. This last doctor at this pain clinic told me I would

not be able to walk for exercise as it would be much to hard on my

joints, etc., etc., like I did not know that already since I have

trouble walking through the grocery store and I have handicap plates

just so I can go in and out of the grocery store. Also, I am still

going around and around about my pain management. I now have my

rheumy on my side who agrees that I need long-term chronic pain

medication, but he has to have approval because of my insurance from

my primary care physician who " does not believe in that " . Excuse me

for not falling into the normal range of your patients. I would

love to switch places with him someday. I am sure my rheumy will

get it all straightened out as he has vowed to, but I cannot believe

I am still fighting to just have a semi decent quality of life. You

know where you get up and get dressed and maybe walk around the

house a little and talk to your kids. I am just disgusted with the

whole thing and very ANGRY as I seem to keep saying. I cannot hold

all of this anger in because I am going to scream if I don't let it

out, but I just want to know if this is normal. The doctor said

something about going through the stages of grief and that is what I

was doing???? Because I have lost my way of life, my job and you

know what I miss the most - DANCING, yep, DANCING. My feet are

horrid though. Well, thanks for letting me vent and any thoughts

would be greatly appreciated. I cannot imagine I am the first

person to get angry, but you never know.

Angry in Maine

Tracie

[Guest guest]

i know the feeling . i try to fix little things around the house . and get

ssoooo mad at myself because it is very hard for me to do . one time i was

trying to fix the kitchen sink and my wife was standing there and i got so mad

and she thought i was gettin mad at her . and we fianally sat down and i got

though to her this time . she understood me. i told her i wasn't mad at her i

was mad at myself and this & %$^ R.A. . so no you are NO freak. we all go though

it. i can still work but don't know for how much longer. it's a fight everyday.

take care tracie .. we all understand and have been there.

mike

tracierae143 <tracierae143@...> wrote:

Hi everyone,

I know I have not posted in awhile, but I do read as often as I

can. I have reached the I am really angry stage of my disease. I

assume this is a normal transition now that I have been diagnosed

officially with RA for a year or am I a freak? It has finally sunk

in that I am disabled probably for the rest of my life as every

doctor I see agrees with the disability decision. I am angry

because my hubby is unhappy with his job, but he can do something

about that, like look for another one. Yes, it could take a year or

more for him to find something he likes, but I don't get to switch

diseases or reapply for a different one because I don't like this

one. I get really angry lately about the whole mess. I am sick of

running to doctors, sick of meds, sick of not being able to do the

things I want. This last doctor at this pain clinic told me I would

not be able to walk for exercise as it would be much to hard on my

joints, etc., etc., like I did not know that already since I have

trouble walking through the grocery store and I have handicap plates

just so I can go in and out of the grocery store. Also, I am still

going around and around about my pain management. I now have my

rheumy on my side who agrees that I need long-term chronic pain

medication, but he has to have approval because of my insurance from

my primary care physician who " does not believe in that " . Excuse me

for not falling into the normal range of your patients. I would

love to switch places with him someday. I am sure my rheumy will

get it all straightened out as he has vowed to, but I cannot believe

I am still fighting to just have a semi decent quality of life. You

know where you get up and get dressed and maybe walk around the

house a little and talk to your kids. I am just disgusted with the

whole thing and very ANGRY as I seem to keep saying. I cannot hold

all of this anger in because I am going to scream if I don't let it

out, but I just want to know if this is normal. The doctor said

something about going through the stages of grief and that is what I

was doing???? Because I have lost my way of life, my job and you

know what I miss the most - DANCING, yep, DANCING. My feet are

horrid though. Well, thanks for letting me vent and any thoughts

would be greatly appreciated. I cannot imagine I am the first

person to get angry, but you never know.

Angry in Maine

Tracie

[Guest guest]

I went through this same stage, and it lasted for a few years. I didn't have

much of a temper in my life so I was puzzled after I threw the jig-saw and

broke it. I never did that before, I would always approach it logically in

the past. It took a long time, but I finally diagnosed it as serious

depression. Since I addressed that problem and got antidepressants, life is

much easier and I can do things without having a fit again.

I had a number of years where I couldn't get out of bed or out of the house

because of the vigor with which the RA was attacking. Even 3 months ago, I

was in a mild depression from all the constant pain of the last couple of

years, since I changed Rummys. Last Friday, I went out and walked almost 2

miles, picking up aluminum cans! I haven't walked that far unaided in a lot

of years. Today, I hurt, but not half as bad as with the old Rummy. It can

be bad, but can be a lot better. If depression is what's messing with you,

get help for it and lots of troubles will go away. I might even try to go

back to work sometime.

Dennis

----- Original Message -----

[Guest guest]

I went through this same stage, and it lasted for a few years. I didn't have

much of a temper in my life so I was puzzled after I threw the jig-saw and

broke it. I never did that before, I would always approach it logically in

the past. It took a long time, but I finally diagnosed it as serious

depression. Since I addressed that problem and got antidepressants, life is

much easier and I can do things without having a fit again.

I had a number of years where I couldn't get out of bed or out of the house

because of the vigor with which the RA was attacking. Even 3 months ago, I

was in a mild depression from all the constant pain of the last couple of

years, since I changed Rummys. Last Friday, I went out and walked almost 2

miles, picking up aluminum cans! I haven't walked that far unaided in a lot

of years. Today, I hurt, but not half as bad as with the old Rummy. It can

be bad, but can be a lot better. If depression is what's messing with you,

get help for it and lots of troubles will go away. I might even try to go

back to work sometime.

Dennis

----- Original Message -----