Re: Angry phase of my RA - Tracie/Kathe

October 23, 2005

Hi Kathe,

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I appreciate it

and it helps me not feel like such a " freak " . I totally feel

accepted here. I have to say the best thing I did so far in my life

since being diagnosed with this disease is find this group. Take

care and thanks for " getting it " .

Hugs from Maine,

Tracie

>

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I know I have not posted in awhile, but I do read as

> > often as I

> > can. I have reached the I am really angry stage of

> > my disease. I

> > assume this is a normal transition now that I have

> > been diagnosed

> > officially with RA for a year or am I a freak? It

> > has finally sunk

> > in that I am disabled probably for the rest of my

> > life as every

> > doctor I see agrees with the disability decision. I

> > am angry

> > because my hubby is unhappy with his job, but he can

> > do something

> > about that, like look for another one. Yes, it

> > could take a year or

> > more for him to find something he likes, but I don't

> > get to switch

> > diseases or reapply for a different one because I

> > don't like this

> > one. I get really angry lately about the whole

> > mess. I am sick of

> > running to doctors, sick of meds, sick of not being

> > able to do the

> > things I want. This last doctor at this pain clinic

> > told me I would

> > not be able to walk for exercise as it would be much

> > to hard on my

> > joints, etc., etc., like I did not know that already

> > since I have

> > trouble walking through the grocery store and I have

> > handicap plates

> > just so I can go in and out of the grocery store.

> > Also, I am still

> > going around and around about my pain management. I

> > now have my

> > rheumy on my side who agrees that I need long-term

> > chronic pain

> > medication, but he has to have approval because of

> > my insurance from

> > my primary care physician who " does not believe in

> > that " . Excuse me

> > for not falling into the normal range of your

> > patients. I would

> > love to switch places with him someday. I am sure

> > my rheumy will

> > get it all straightened out as he has vowed to, but

> > I cannot believe

> > I am still fighting to just have a semi decent

> > quality of life. You

> > know where you get up and get dressed and maybe walk

> > around the

> > house a little and talk to your kids. I am just

> > disgusted with the

> > whole thing and very ANGRY as I seem to keep saying.

> > I cannot hold

> > all of this anger in because I am going to scream if

> > I don't let it

> > out, but I just want to know if this is normal. The

> > doctor said

> > something about going through the stages of grief

> > and that is what I

> > was doing???? Because I have lost my way of life,

> > my job and you

> > know what I miss the most - DANCING, yep, DANCING.

> > My feet are

> > horrid though. Well, thanks for letting me vent and

> > any thoughts

> > would be greatly appreciated. I cannot imagine I am

> > the first

> > person to get angry, but you never know.

> >

> > Angry in Maine

> >

> > Tracie

> >

>

> Kathe in CA

>

> __________________________________

> FareChase: Search multiple travel sites in one click.

> http://farechase.

>

October 23, 2005