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Charlyne

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Charlyne,

Hope all went well with your husband's surgery.  Prayers and best wishes for a

speedy recovery.   Also hope Zeb is doing okay with his dad's surgery.

Irene

sister to

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Hi Charlyne,

I hope your dh is doing better.  Continued prayers and best wishes for him. 

Also hope that Zeb is doing okay with his father's hospitalization. 

was

extremely upset 4 years ago when our father fell and shattered his femur and was

hospitalized and in rehab for a month.

I always thought that people became special ed teachers because they genuinely

want to help.  I have a very good friend who teaches special ed, and that is

definitely the case with him.  But obviously not with the people that poor Zeb

encountered.    Just the thought of one of our kids being arrested is

sickening.  It is amazing that if someone accuses a disabled person, the law

sides with the accuser, no questions asked.  But if someone attacks a disabled

person, the law protects the attacker.  When was 25, he was assaulted

by

someone at his day program.  When my parents reported it to the police, they

were told that since could not testify, there was nothing they could do.

Never mind that there was a witness.  You are so right.  We have come a long

way, but there is still so much more to do.

Thanks for asking about .  He has taken a few steps back, due to the

weather.  He has always been afraid of the snow.  And with his luck, this is

the

year that we would be inundated with it!  hasn't left the house in 2

weeks.  The psychologist came to the house for the first time last Wednesday. 

He did not come Thursday due to the weather.  The problem is that he will only

be coming twice a week for 1/2 hour each time.   That is not nearly enough,

but

we will take what we can get.  Yesterday, I got an MP3 player with a

built in speaker, since he will not wear headphones.  The psychologist

suggested

that we could use this as a transitional object, since  loves

music.  Now

all I have to do is figure out how to download music on it! 

You mentioned that you advise people to get a Power of Attorney for their

kids. 

Do you know if guardianship papers take care of that?  Or is the POA something

additional?  We have guardianship papers for .

Many thanks.

All the best,

Irene

sister to

 

________________________________

To:

Sent: Fri, January 28, 2011 11:39:06 PM

Subject: Re: Irene

 

Hi Irene,

I have to agree with your grandmother too. Yes, Zeb was arrested twice, both

times at school. Once at 10yrs old, in the 4th grade and at 15, almost 16 in

grade 10. The last arrest was trumped by the school. Zeb slapped a teacher's

back on the way out of her class and told her bye. She didn't make an issue out

of it at the time but told him not to do that again. He apologized and that was

the end of it. I think he was copying what the other kids do to one another. The

teacher came to school the following day and taught all morning long. My school

spy says that during her prep period she and a few teachers and a vice principal

were chatting about the kids and she happened to mention Zeb. The vice principal

told her that she should leave immediately and get her back checked. She went to

a massage therapist, no dr. I received the bill and refused to pay it. She had

Zeb arrested the following week and tried to file a restraining order.  The

letter requesting

the restraining order said that Zeb could never keep his hands off of her etc.

He hates us to even touch him. She never showed in court so her requested

restraining order was denied and eventually the charges were dropped. The

teacher died unexpectedly about 9 mos later. Zeb had been in her class for 3 mos

with an para and I never received a note, phone call etc telling me that he had

a behavior problem in her class. I never did get to meet this woman.

One of my ASD HS students(different school district) was arrested a few weeks

ago because he tapped a girls ankle to get her attention. They were on the late

bus, few kids and she was sitting with her feet across the seat listening to her

ipod. It made her angry and the student got so nervous that he froze. He had no

intention to make her angry but just wanted to tell her something. She told the

bus driver that he hit her and also her parents. They filed charges. The police

could not find a mark so he was arrested for disorderly conduct.  I had told

the

parent over and over to get the POA asap once he turned 18. He was arrested 4

days after his 18th BD and no POA. The Mom could not speak for him at the police

station.

The situation is all too common. Our kids are under a microscope and are treated

differently. I agree with Lori that we have come a long way but we have plenty

more to do.

How is ?

Charlyne

Subject: Lori

To:

Date: Thursday, January 27, 2011, 8:30 AM

 

<<How did you cope? It just breaks my heart when our kids are treated

poorly.

Not only did Isaac hear some other kid say it but they changed his schedule

on Monday without telling us they were going to do that. >>

Hi, Everyone....Lori....I didn't cope very well for those 3 yrs. It was

lawyers, constant IEP changes, due processes, and finally courts. But, I

refused to put him in a Life Skills classroom when he was reading, writing and

doing math just like the other kids. They cannot change the schedule or

classroom setting without convening another IEP meeting......right,

Charlyne? It's been so many years since we had to fight, that I have *blacked

out* those rules!!! Also, Gareth was in 5 different school systems because of

moves and only that one was the district from H*##. Is it possible to

have him placed in a better, more understanding school using the gist that his

current school obviously is biased towards him since other kids had

similar behaviors and weren't suspended. Document EVERYTHING that you see.

Also, I would demand that they return the points for good behavior......that

had nothing to do with the bad behavior.

The last time Gareth got suspended was because he was *punching all the

kids in the gut while they were coming in the door from recess* --- 2 weeks.

I flipped out....called the Principal and wanted to know where his 1:1 was

and the teacher while he was punching all these kids. Turns out, it was

the Spec Ed *lady* who wrote the report, the same one who wanted him in the

LS class. The Principal called the aide and the teachers in to discuss the

incident. Turns out, Gareth had door duty (holding the door open for the

kids) and was GENTLY tapping each kid on the head and COUNTING each kid!!!

I finally learned that all his extreme behaviors for the past 3 years were

nothing more a than exaggerated lies. We moved shortly after to Illinois

and the top 3 Spec Ed ladies were also gone form that district. Bottom

line, they didn't want to pay for the 1:1 and didn't want to bother with him.

It ended up costing the district $40-$50,000 in legal fees because of

their behavior....too bad we never saw a dime of it!!!

Take care, Everyone.

Margaret

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Charlyne,

Just adding my prayers for you and your DH during his recovery. Sounds like you

have your plate even fuller than ever, if that is possible. I couldn't believe

you were having to deal with shoveling off your roofs- PLURAL! OMG! Glad you

got some help with that, finally.

Take care,

Beth

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