appreciate some advice on meeting tomorrow

[Guest guest]

Hello all,

My parents and I are having a meeting tomorrow with my brother's psychologist

and the psychologist from his day program, who met and us for the first

time today. 

Initially, the meeting tomorrow was to include others from 's day

program, but the program psychologist arranged it for him and us to go to the

medical facility where goes for medical and psychological, to meet

with 's psychologist.   The purpose of this meeting is to discuss how we

can help with his agoraphobia/anxiety.  has not left the house

in two weeks and has not gone to his program in 3 months.

The program psychologist called and invited himself to come to the house today

to meet .   To say that today's visit with him was a huge disappointment,

is an understatement.   He started the meeting by saying that dementia is a

possibility.  When we told him that 's cognitive functioning has not

changed and there is no memory problem, he went on to tell us that he didn't

agree with the agoraphobia diagnosis.  He criticized 's new psychologist

at the medical center, he criticized 's psychiatrist, and even criticized

the psychologist had 3 years ago at the medical center.  Then he said

that if does not like coming to the program then maybe he should drop

out.  My mother became furious and told him that he should " abandon that

thought. "   This is doubly incredible since my mother and our entire family have

been actively helping the progran for over 20 years, including donating time

and money and getting large grants from a trust managed by the last company I

was with.

He told us that we should offer to serve 's meals in the bedroom, to get

him to go upstairs and if that works, to offer to only take him out for

lunch/dinner and not serve him in the house.   We said we would be open to that,

but feel that he needs someone to come to the house to work with him.  He said

that we would not be able to get this service, that no one provides it and that

Medicaid would not pay for it.   I mentioned that we had learned of an agency

that is providing this service, with money from grants, and that we

placed  on the 6 month waiting list, but it is critical that we need help

now. 

I also mentioned our support group and that one of the parents was able to get

help at home for her son.   He said that the family should be able to work with

.  We did not tell him this, but my parents are in their seventies and

I have taken a sabbatical from work to spend time helping them out.   We are

more than happy to do our share, but we cannot do it alone.

I would appreciate any advice that any of you could provide in terms of the

meeting tomorrow. 

Many thanks,

Irene

sister to , mosaic DS, ASD, 40+