Grieving at Toys R Us

[Guest guest]

Had a near-breakdown time at Toys R Us this morning, shopping for

(age 11, DS & autism). It hits me at weird times like this, and I'm stressed

right now anyway, trying to get everything done before leaving on a big trip

Saturday. Walking up and down the aisles, I realized again that, at age 11,

she still prefers preschool toys, Disney princesses, and dollies to whatever

it is that other 11-year-old girls want (I've forgotten by now) and can't do

any of the normal crafts. I don't think it was a self-pity trip, but more like

grieving for HER. It didn't help to see so many dolls that I was looking

at with hair, bec/she is bald from alopecia (and not yet potty-trained). I

realized that you guys are really the only ones who understand. (I've gotten

frustrated with seeing other girls with only DS who are different from her.)

I didn't know if MY reaction was normal, if any of you ever feel like this

still, if this time of year (or birthdays) bring out this grief stuff again, or

if I just needed a big ole kick in the butt. Normally, I'm not a " whiner, "

but more of a " count your blessings " and " there are so many out there in

much worse shape or with so much more stress " type of person, but not today.

I was in an awfully sad mood most of the day, until of course she came home

off the bus, screaming Mommy! and running at me with a huge smile and her

arms outstretched. She was giggly, happy and tickling me. I'm feeling better,

sort of, but still a little sad. And, of course, she had a huge smushy awful

poop in a store that stunk horribly and went down her pant legs (sorry, ladies).

Is this normal? Do I need a hug or a kick in the rear? Hopefully, tomorrow

will be better. Thanks. - Theresa, Northern VA, mom to 4, including

[Guest guest]

Beautifully said Diane!!! Coulnt have said it better!!! I LOVE this group. I

feel like you guys actually know me, though we have never met. It is so

refreshing to read everyones comments and KNOW we are not alone in our thoughts,

feelings. Thanks everyone!

Jenn