Re: RE: eating habits (long) Dena

[Guest guest]

Hi Dena,

After reading your email I had to pause. Our kids can just be so perplexing and

exhausting. And unless someone else has truly traveled the same road, they just

won't understand. It sounds like your family has all struggled to get ph to

eat. I think that after we've tried hard, we should be allowed to accept our

kids limitations. I often take lengthy sabbaticals from trying to get Darwyn to

eat something new. I stock up on what he likes and make placating comments to

the therapists who suggest more techniques (sort of the same affirmative noises

I make when I'm not really listening to my daughter recite Garfield cartoons).

Darwyn (6) also much prefers to eat with only me beside him. And God forbid if

my plate gets too close to him. He tolerates the rest of the family, but can gag

or vomit if guests sit beside him while eating.

I spent 2 years focused on getting Darwyn to stop eating his baby food, but now

its just one of his (few) options and my attitude finally was a sort of

acceptance that his menu is limited and he hates new foods so what the heck.

Those little jars are so superbly portable and he likes one with real

vegetables.

Pediatricians and therapists are often helpful, but sometimes wrong. I think for

some of our kids, eating is so overwhelmingly sensory (taste, texture, visual,

smell) that it is painful and stressful for them in ways we'll never understand.

This is long, but I hope supportive. Take care,

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

RE: Need to replace ketchup (long)

It has been my experience that sometimes I just have to give in and let my 12

year old son, ph, eat what he wants to eat to keep him from having a serious

health problem (and to preserve my sanity and peace in our home). ph will

starve himself to death if he doesn't get the food he wants. We want him to eat

a healthy diet and have tried many times to get him to change to a healthy diet,

but we're not willing to reach the point of a feeding tube to do so. We came

extremely close to a feeding tube when he was 4.  

When ph was 4, we stopped giving him baby food at the insistence of his

physician. The doctor told us to stop the baby food cold turkey and force him to

eat regular food. Fortunately, ph was eating graham crackers and applesauce

in addition to the baby food when we stopped the baby food. He ate only small

amounts of applesauce and graham crackers for about a year after we stopped the

baby food. We tried everything we could think of to get him to eat the healthy

foods the rest of us were eating. Toast was one of the first things, other than

graham crackers and applesauce, that ph decided to eat. Chicken nuggets and

corn dogs followed when we let him point out what appealed to him during a trip

to the grocery store. We were desperate to get food into him!  He was down to

skin and bones and looked like a concentration camp victim. He very slowly

gained weight after we gave in and let him eat what he wanted to eat, not what

we wanted him to eat.

 

As ph has gotten older, my husband and I have tried numerous times to get

him to change his diet by withholding his favorite foods until he tries

something new. We tell him he has to eat only one bite before he can have his

favorite foods. Every single time he will not try the new food and would rather

starve. He throws the offensive food on the floor (and is disciplined for doing

so). Are we supposed to forcefully place the food we want him to eat in his

mouth and force him to chew and swallow it? (This tactic was suggested by a

therapist.) We're not willing to do so. It's too traumatic for all involved.

Therefore, we allow him to eat his chosen diet of toast with butter, applesauce,

and sausage links with ketchup every day for breakfast; corn dogs with ketchup

and tortilla chips every day for lunch; and chicken nuggets with ketchup and

tortilla chips every day for dinner. He won't vary from it. He doesn't even like

to have someone next to him

eating something that offends his sense of smell or sight. He has tried to

throw their food onto the floor and been disciplined for it. Casseroles are the

worst offense to him. 

ph's 6 siblings (ages 2, 6, 7, 9, 14, & 17) have all tried to get him to try

the healthy foods that the rest of us eat. They even help to make it. They tell

ph how good it is and offer it to him. He says " yuck " and refuses it. 

None of us in our family understand why ph won't at least try something new.

We feel that we've done all we can to get him to change and he just won't.

Dena