Re: Autism/murder suicide - strange analogy to breastcancer

[Guest guest]

,

I'll keep you in my thoughts as your surgery date nears. I remember how much

people's assurances that Darwyn would be " fine " with his 3rd heart surgery drove

me slightly nuts. I'd often respond that I hoped he'd be fine, but that chance

that he might die was impossible for me to ignore. And I'd talk about a number

of books about death and dying I was reading at that time (I love to try read a

subject into submission). My favourites were Closer to the Light about the near

death experiences of children and Final Gifts written by 2 hospice nurses. Both

share a tone I like. I found people either looked scared and stopped offering

platitudes or really engaged in a more serious discussion about death and the

meaning of life. I did end up having some fascinating conversations with women

who had miscarried or people grieving who didn't feel they were " allowed " to

socially still talk about their grief. It helped me to be able to help them and

to say what I was honestly feeling. Just like this list helps me sort out my

thoughts and feelings in a community that is so supportive.

Take good care,

Re: Autism/murder suicide

>

>

>

> I agree. Last night I realized that *never* gets phone calls from

>

> friends, *never* has anyone ask if he can come over to play. Part of that

>

> latter reason is because we are, literally, the only family in our

> cul-de-sac

>

> that speaks English and not Spanish. I worry constantly about what will

> happen

>

> when he's out of school; if he'll ever get a job, or if he'll ever get

> married.

>

> I was at a wedding this week and I realized, I might not ever see my son

> get

>

> married. Is he ever going to learn to communicate how his day went, or if

> he's

>

> feeling sad and why; or if he's feeling angry/scared and why?? I can't

> help him

>

> if he can't tell me things like that.

>

> Autism is isolating, almost like no other disorder. And no, I don't think

> it's

>

> a special " gift " . The week was diagnosed, I was told that he could

> be a

>

> blessing. I'm sure that's true, but to expect a parent to *immediately*

> accept

>

> that autism could be a blessing is a bit much. If it's such a special

> " gift " ,

>

> why do our children have such a hard time fitting in?

>

> The world is NOT going to change to accomodate our kids. The world will

> expect

>

> our kids to accomodate to it!

>

> Tina

>

> Hacker: " Any last words before I throw you in the dungeon? "

>

> Digit: " Yeah. We're outta here! "

>

> --From Cyberchase

>

> Nuclear option in 2010.

>

> Betsy Ray/Tacy , 2012, Deep Valley Party.

>

> Adam Savage/ Hyneman, 2010, Mythbusters Party.

>

> Autism/murder suicide

>

>

>

> Irma posted some news on FB re the invcidents of autism/suicide this summer

>

>

> alone. murder by a caregiver to a person with asd and then suicide of the

>

> caregiver. What a loss.

>

> There was a comment by one person that I thought might be a topic of

>

> conversation (edited for length and profanity ) on that overwhelmed feeling

>

>

> some of us have discussed which I will post here for our discussion:

>

> *I** don't think that the nation is ever going to see a crisis as long as

>

> there are those bloggers out there spouting that it is wrong to view autism

>

>

> as a tragedy. They spend endless amounts of energy and time trying to

>

> convince people that autism is a lovely, unexpected gift. These parents do

>

> nothing but convince the masses that parents must be happy with autism when

>

>

> really, tragedies like this are occurring. For most parents autism IS

> tragic

>

> and they are doing drastic things like this because they are not receiving

>

> the support or information they need to recover their children.

>

> If I read one more account of a parent saying something to the effect of,

>

> " without autism we would have never experienced the wonderful, odd things

>

> this child can do " or " autism has made us all better people and we would

>

> never trade it " I'm going to be sick. Autism is NOT wonderful. It is a

>

> horrible disorder that is causing parents to snap more and more everyday.

> **

>

> -- *

>

> Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana.

>

>