Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Tess perhaps you could print some literature off and give it to both of them tell them you are not looking for sympathy but you thought they might want to better informed. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Tess perhaps you could print some literature off and give it to both of them tell them you are not looking for sympathy but you thought they might want to better informed. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Hi Tess Some people just will never understand. My grandparents are exactly the same, they can't cope with things so tend to bury their heads in the sand. IE when we told them dad had cancer they were silent for a few seconds and then started talking about some boring old neighbour we have never met. I know they care they just have no idea how to show it. Just tell us, we understand {{{{hugs}}}} mel from oz [ ] 'whine and cheese " Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is systemic? " OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. Love to all... Tess in Oregon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Hi Tess Some people just will never understand. My grandparents are exactly the same, they can't cope with things so tend to bury their heads in the sand. IE when we told them dad had cancer they were silent for a few seconds and then started talking about some boring old neighbour we have never met. I know they care they just have no idea how to show it. Just tell us, we understand {{{{hugs}}}} mel from oz [ ] 'whine and cheese " Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is systemic? " OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. Love to all... Tess in Oregon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Tess, I am so sorry you are feeling badly - it is a hard thing to live with. I know exactly what you mean about talking about it. People want to know - but they want good news. Sometimes I feel like I have just got to talk about it and sometimes I am so sick of talking about it I could grind my teeth to dust. I live in Oregon too. Portland area. I am sending good thought your way ~ bree --- In , " Grammi B " <grammi_love@m...> wrote: > > Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. > > My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is systemic? " > > OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. > > Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. > > I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. > > Love to all... > > Tess in Oregon > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Tess, I am so sorry you are feeling badly - it is a hard thing to live with. I know exactly what you mean about talking about it. People want to know - but they want good news. Sometimes I feel like I have just got to talk about it and sometimes I am so sick of talking about it I could grind my teeth to dust. I live in Oregon too. Portland area. I am sending good thought your way ~ bree > > Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. > > My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is systemic? " > > OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. > > Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. > > I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. > > Love to all... > > Tess in Oregon > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 Tess, Sorry you have been feeling so down recently. I have been reading posts for several months now and you are always so encouraging to everyone even when feeling rotton. I pray that things start looking up for you. I think even when family tries to be understanding that they just have no idea what we deal with on a daily basis. I have always been a high energy person that " does " constantly and rarely says no to anyone and that is one of the hardest things for me because I find myself agreeing to do things that I do not feel like doing. Family members just don't understand that I don't have the energy to do all that I have always done and still really want to do, but can't. My husband is a wonderful person and tries hard but just doesn't understand why I can't just go to sleep when I go to bed and why I squirm and can't settle down and fall asleep instantly-hips, ankles hurting etc. Plus I just don't need as much sleep as he does and I've always been a night owl. Most of our vacations have centered around outdoor activities and I love traveling but just can't hike for miles up mountains and that is what he really loves doing and wants me along with him. I want him to continue and I still try on a very limited basis but sometimes I feel that he thinks I'm just not wanting to do things that he wants to do. Enough of me whining. I'm really doing so much better than many others and I am blessed as I rarely suffer from depression and then usually not for very long. My closest friend does and I've been through many rough times with her but really have no idea wwhat many people suffer through. I just hope your family will attempt to educate themselves about RA and will be more understanding. I'm sure they care very much just as mine does. I paray for good day ahead for you and understanding from your family. linda --- Grammi B <grammi_love@...> wrote: > > Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot > lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. > I just need to talk a little here. Something that > we all here have discussed before. I went to my > folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, > and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only > sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so > lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, > as I know it is not a subject that will be > comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain > things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you > doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the > details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " > when I am not. > > My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. > They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend > even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I > am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell > me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH > MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry > you are feeling poorly. " What in the world > threatens or scares them so much that I get this > kind of response? I am a compassionate and > empathetic person. I have lived through a love one > dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am > NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than > anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be > honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, > who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of > adoption services for our county, is just as bad. > She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA > is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain > to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more > than just one lone joint. She said, " What is > systemic? " > > OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am > more tired of feeling crappy than any of my > relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I > have kept so much inside because it is not received > well. Why? If one of my kids say something is > wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know > what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I > call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I > can do. > > Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my > folks and sister. For there love for me is > unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when > I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get > it'. They show their love for me in so many other > ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. > > I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my > fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors > things. But just needed to vent a little. > > Love to all... > > Tess in Oregon > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 Tess, Sorry you have been feeling so down recently. I have been reading posts for several months now and you are always so encouraging to everyone even when feeling rotton. I pray that things start looking up for you. I think even when family tries to be understanding that they just have no idea what we deal with on a daily basis. I have always been a high energy person that " does " constantly and rarely says no to anyone and that is one of the hardest things for me because I find myself agreeing to do things that I do not feel like doing. Family members just don't understand that I don't have the energy to do all that I have always done and still really want to do, but can't. My husband is a wonderful person and tries hard but just doesn't understand why I can't just go to sleep when I go to bed and why I squirm and can't settle down and fall asleep instantly-hips, ankles hurting etc. Plus I just don't need as much sleep as he does and I've always been a night owl. Most of our vacations have centered around outdoor activities and I love traveling but just can't hike for miles up mountains and that is what he really loves doing and wants me along with him. I want him to continue and I still try on a very limited basis but sometimes I feel that he thinks I'm just not wanting to do things that he wants to do. Enough of me whining. I'm really doing so much better than many others and I am blessed as I rarely suffer from depression and then usually not for very long. My closest friend does and I've been through many rough times with her but really have no idea wwhat many people suffer through. I just hope your family will attempt to educate themselves about RA and will be more understanding. I'm sure they care very much just as mine does. I paray for good day ahead for you and understanding from your family. linda --- Grammi B <grammi_love@...> wrote: > > Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot > lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. > I just need to talk a little here. Something that > we all here have discussed before. I went to my > folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, > and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only > sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so > lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, > as I know it is not a subject that will be > comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain > things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you > doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the > details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " > when I am not. > > My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. > They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend > even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I > am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell > me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH > MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry > you are feeling poorly. " What in the world > threatens or scares them so much that I get this > kind of response? I am a compassionate and > empathetic person. I have lived through a love one > dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am > NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than > anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be > honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, > who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of > adoption services for our county, is just as bad. > She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA > is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain > to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more > than just one lone joint. She said, " What is > systemic? " > > OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am > more tired of feeling crappy than any of my > relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I > have kept so much inside because it is not received > well. Why? If one of my kids say something is > wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know > what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I > call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I > can do. > > Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my > folks and sister. For there love for me is > unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when > I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get > it'. They show their love for me in so many other > ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. > > I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my > fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors > things. But just needed to vent a little. > > Love to all... > > Tess in Oregon > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 There is really nothing I can add to that, just a " RIGHT ON SISTER! " I hate that you feel that way, but love that I'm not alone in feeling what I call " unheard. " Its like people just don't listen. Sometimes I want to scream from the rooftops " I FEEL LIKE CRAP AND I WANT YOU TO CARE! " but I'm sure once I got up to the roof, I'd be too tired to scream ) I think when we get to heaven there will be a special place for all of us. kerri sue Grammi B <grammi_love@...> wrote: Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is systemic? " OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. Love to all... Tess in Oregon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 There is really nothing I can add to that, just a " RIGHT ON SISTER! " I hate that you feel that way, but love that I'm not alone in feeling what I call " unheard. " Its like people just don't listen. Sometimes I want to scream from the rooftops " I FEEL LIKE CRAP AND I WANT YOU TO CARE! " but I'm sure once I got up to the roof, I'd be too tired to scream ) I think when we get to heaven there will be a special place for all of us. kerri sue Grammi B <grammi_love@...> wrote: Hi Friends...I know I have been down a lot lately, and I hope you forgive me for rattling on. I just need to talk a little here. Something that we all here have discussed before. I went to my folks and I love them to pieces. They are great, and love me dearly. As does my sister (my only sibling). But, they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. My folks and sister are NEVER mean or unkind. They just get so uncomfortable and will not spend even a minute discussing things with me. If I say I am in a flare and not feeling well they will tell me, " Oh, well, Mrs. is dying of cancer. " OH MY GOODNESS. Rarely do they say, " Honey, I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. " What in the world threatens or scares them so much that I get this kind of response? I am a compassionate and empathetic person. I have lived through a love one dying from cancer (more than one loved one.) I am NOT ever implying that I have it " worse' than anyone, for Pete's sake. I am just trying to be honest and speak what is on my heart. My sister, who was a social worker for 25 years and the head of adoption services for our county, is just as bad. She STILL 'doesn't get' RA. I think in her mind RA is just a 'touch of arthritis'. I tried to explain to her that RA and FMS are systemic and affect more than just one lone joint. She said, " What is systemic? " OK, I really am having a hard time here. I am more tired of feeling crappy than any of my relatives are of hearing about it, I am sure. I have kept so much inside because it is not received well. Why? If one of my kids say something is wrong or they are not feeling well, I WANT to know what is wrong, I ask questions, I do research, I call them and tell them I am sorry and ask what I can do. Now, I am feeling like I am being too hard on my folks and sister. For there love for me is unquestionable. But I hate feeling lonely even when I am with them because they cannot or do not 'get it'. They show their love for me in so many other ways for which I am grateful. But this still hurts. I know feeling crummy all night, waking up with my fingers throbbing and my hips screaming colors things. But just needed to vent a little. Love to all... Tess in Oregon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 --- In , " Grammi B " <grammi_love@m .... they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. I can certainly relate!!! I have 4 grown children, a brother and a sister that live out of my state. That is pretty much my family now.I have also tried to explain things about auto immune, I have 3. fatigue being my #1 problem ususally. I decided I would have Christmas at my home last year. It took me weeks to buy the tree, decorate it, clean my house, wrap all the presents I had purchased prior to Christmas. It was really a labor of love for me. I could only do a little each day, a little more on the weekends. It honestly took me over a month to get ready for the " day " , even though I had done Christmas for years, before becoming divorced with much more family and a lot less effort. My ldest daughter volunteered to do the salad and dessert, nice, my son brought wine and my other daughter brought some rolls. It was a nice day. It took me about a month a get everything cleaned up and put away. I was amazed how long it took me to do anything. I really had to do stuff in pieces, a little each day. The whole thing backfired on me. Now 3 of the kids aren't even talking top me, mostly me not wanting to talk to them. After Christmas, it was why don't you call and do something all day with the grandkids? Why don't you exercise daily, go to the gym? " I think you feel sorry for yourself " . Mom, Maybe you should consider therapy since you are so tired. " I haven't had much of a social life for a couple of years. People have pretty much stopped calling to ask me to join in whatever. I had made that extra effort with my kids, going on steriods to attend a wedding, taking steriods to visit my grandkids in CO. No, I don't look sick. I'm heavier that I have ever been, but I generally look fine, except for my fingers which are constantly swollen and bent over. I emailed them " the spoons " email thionking maybe that would help them understand. I'm a single woman alone and would sure appricate some help around here, sometimes. The kids talk about helping out their friends or could I help them, but never offe me any help or company. My job and my health has to be my prioprity now and it seems no matter what I say, I come across as lazy and having a pity party. I have never been like this my whole life, but I honestly do the best I can now. I just can't get it across to my children, and that hurts. Sorry for the whine, but I needed it, Thanks! Colleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 --- In , " Grammi B " <grammi_love@m .... they do NOT get 'why' I feel so lousy sometimes. Believe me, I hardly say anything, as I know it is not a subject that will be comfortable for them. (I have tried to explain things in the past.) But when asked 'How are you doing? " I answer honestly, though without all the details. I am sick and tired of saying " I'm fine. " when I am not. I can certainly relate!!! I have 4 grown children, a brother and a sister that live out of my state. That is pretty much my family now.I have also tried to explain things about auto immune, I have 3. fatigue being my #1 problem ususally. I decided I would have Christmas at my home last year. It took me weeks to buy the tree, decorate it, clean my house, wrap all the presents I had purchased prior to Christmas. It was really a labor of love for me. I could only do a little each day, a little more on the weekends. It honestly took me over a month to get ready for the " day " , even though I had done Christmas for years, before becoming divorced with much more family and a lot less effort. My ldest daughter volunteered to do the salad and dessert, nice, my son brought wine and my other daughter brought some rolls. It was a nice day. It took me about a month a get everything cleaned up and put away. I was amazed how long it took me to do anything. I really had to do stuff in pieces, a little each day. The whole thing backfired on me. Now 3 of the kids aren't even talking top me, mostly me not wanting to talk to them. After Christmas, it was why don't you call and do something all day with the grandkids? Why don't you exercise daily, go to the gym? " I think you feel sorry for yourself " . Mom, Maybe you should consider therapy since you are so tired. " I haven't had much of a social life for a couple of years. People have pretty much stopped calling to ask me to join in whatever. I had made that extra effort with my kids, going on steriods to attend a wedding, taking steriods to visit my grandkids in CO. No, I don't look sick. I'm heavier that I have ever been, but I generally look fine, except for my fingers which are constantly swollen and bent over. I emailed them " the spoons " email thionking maybe that would help them understand. I'm a single woman alone and would sure appricate some help around here, sometimes. The kids talk about helping out their friends or could I help them, but never offe me any help or company. My job and my health has to be my prioprity now and it seems no matter what I say, I come across as lazy and having a pity party. I have never been like this my whole life, but I honestly do the best I can now. I just can't get it across to my children, and that hurts. Sorry for the whine, but I needed it, Thanks! Colleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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