Guest guest Posted August 6, 2010 Report Share Posted August 6, 2010 Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. Ugh. Sent from my iPhone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2010 Report Share Posted August 6, 2010 I wish (every day) that there were daycare centers geared primarily for kiddos with disabilities. NT kiddos welcome but 24/7 centers geared for our kiddos. And affordable. One reason I stopped working & now poorer is that DJ got " kicked out " of the daycare he had attended since he was about age 4. It was before & after school care only. They insisted that he should be moved up with his age group; he of course was not ready & ended up opening the emergency door & wandering out into the parking lot.... Once they all recovered from their heart attacks, I assume they realized that they were no longer equipped to handle the DJ type of kiddo. We have no family in this state aside from my adult kids-who work odd days & hours. I recently broke down & asked my adult single son to watch DJ when we had an opp to attend a concert. Knowing that if DJ pooped, my NT adult son would not deal with it. Fortunately, DJ did not poop. Unfortunately, my adult single son views himself as the " fun brother & uncle " & refuses to do other than spoil DJ, nieces & baby nephew. Which translates into not putting kiddo in bed & feeding said kiddo soft drinks & other delights. Oh & telling me not to be " hard on DJ " & defending him...Which is cool cause the DJ's of the world need a champion spoiler in their lives...but... , maybe until you find the magical daycare or sitter, you could have mother in law rotate watching kiddos. Take one alone on an outing for a day, repeat with each kiddo? It IS so hard whether 1 kiddo or 4 or more. Heart hugs again. I wish, Kris > > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2010 Report Share Posted August 7, 2010 I often take 1-2 kids with me on weekends...like today, Annika had karate so I brought along. We talked and hung out during her class. I'd love to take to Six Flags...or even and . Or take Annika and to Storybook Land. Or take everyone to the beach. The MIL idea is good, except that my kids really wear her out! I usually only ask her to help when I'm really in a pickle (like, I have a Dr's appt or a meeting at school). She had a huge surgery last fall that resulted in a mesh cage around the inside of her belly (she had a bunch of big hernias). So she has trouble bending, lifting. She means well but often comments how she " slept real good " after spending a couple of hours with my kids. I really need someone with all the time, teaching him. Helping him. I am pulled in so many directions, sometimes it's all I can do to manage using his PECS and sign. That sounds dramatic, I know. I mean, it's not hard to do, it's just that I'm dealing with my oldest two--both strong-willed Aspies who get into a LOT of arguments (last Saturday, and got into a fight over our newly-fixed Wii, and got so mad that he ripped the Wii out of the cabinet, disconnecting all the wires in a very sudden way, then threw it across the room at the chair that had been sitting in. Ugh!). And then there's my very mommy-focused 4-year-old. I do my best...but I'm stretched very thin. I think would thrive if I could make teaching moments out of his, erm, lapses in judgement! So no one really is getting enough. My two oldest kids really NEED playdates but we can't do 'em... needs 24-hr ABA...Annika could use some playdates, too...and the guilt list goes on. Sent from my iPhone I wish (every day) that there were daycare centers geared primarily for kiddos with disabilities. NT kiddos welcome but 24/7 centers geared for our kiddos. And affordable. One reason I stopped working & now poorer is that DJ got " kicked out " of the daycare he had attended since he was about age 4. It was before & after school care only. They insisted that he should be moved up with his age group; he of course was not ready & ended up opening the emergency door & wandering out into the parking lot.... Once they all recovered from their heart attacks, I assume they realized that they were no longer equipped to handle the DJ type of kiddo. We have no family in this state aside from my adult kids-who work odd days & hours. I recently broke down & asked my adult single son to watch DJ when we had an opp to attend a concert. Knowing that if DJ pooped, my NT adult son would not deal with it. Fortunately, DJ did not poop. Unfortunately, my adult single son views himself as the " fun brother & uncle " & refuses to do other than spoil DJ, nieces & baby nephew. Which translates into not putting kiddo in bed & feeding said kiddo soft drinks & other delights. Oh & telling me not to be " hard on DJ " & defending him...Which is cool cause the DJ's of the world need a champion spoiler in their lives...but... , maybe until you find the magical daycare or sitter, you could have mother in law rotate watching kiddos. Take one alone on an outing for a day, repeat with each kiddo? It IS so hard whether 1 kiddo or 4 or more. Heart hugs again. I wish, Kris > > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2010 Report Share Posted August 7, 2010 , I had my stomach meshed from multiple hernias, I think nine. I was over 50 at the time and am just fine. I was told not to lift over 40lbs. I often watch my grandchildren all four of them, 10, 2/7's and 5. The oldest has adhd and attachment disorder. He and the 7yr boy fight like mad and the 5 yr old boy joins right in. The 7 yr old girl yells at all three and Zeb hides in his room. I'm tired too after they leave but it's not that often that my daughter has a chance to go out alone. She also feel the same as you do, not giving each child enough time. My kids are spaced so far apart I never had that problem. Charlyne Mom to Zeb 17 DS Subject: Re: Re: Very sad... To: " " < > Date: Saturday, August 7, 2010, 11:01 PM  I often take 1-2 kids with me on weekends...like today, Annika had karate so I brought along. We talked and hung out during her class. I'd love to take to Six Flags...or even and . Or take Annika and to Storybook Land. Or take everyone to the beach. The MIL idea is good, except that my kids really wear her out! I usually only ask her to help when I'm really in a pickle (like, I have a Dr's appt or a meeting at school). She had a huge surgery last fall that resulted in a mesh cage around the inside of her belly (she had a bunch of big hernias). So she has trouble bending, lifting. She means well but often comments how she " slept real good " after spending a couple of hours with my kids. I really need someone with all the time, teaching him. Helping him. I am pulled in so many directions, sometimes it's all I can do to manage using his PECS and sign. That sounds dramatic, I know. I mean, it's not hard to do, it's just that I'm dealing with my oldest two--both strong-willed Aspies who get into a LOT of arguments (last Saturday, and got into a fight over our newly-fixed Wii, and got so mad that he ripped the Wii out of the cabinet, disconnecting all the wires in a very sudden way, then threw it across the room at the chair that had been sitting in. Ugh!). And then there's my very mommy-focused 4-year-old. I do my best...but I'm stretched very thin. I think would thrive if I could make teaching moments out of his, erm, lapses in judgement! So no one really is getting enough. My two oldest kids really NEED playdates but we can't do 'em... needs 24-hr ABA...Annika could use some playdates, too...and the guilt list goes on. Sent from my iPhone I wish (every day) that there were daycare centers geared primarily for kiddos with disabilities. NT kiddos welcome but 24/7 centers geared for our kiddos. And affordable. One reason I stopped working & now poorer is that DJ got " kicked out " of the daycare he had attended since he was about age 4. It was before & after school care only. They insisted that he should be moved up with his age group; he of course was not ready & ended up opening the emergency door & wandering out into the parking lot.... Once they all recovered from their heart attacks, I assume they realized that they were no longer equipped to handle the DJ type of kiddo. We have no family in this state aside from my adult kids-who work odd days & hours. I recently broke down & asked my adult single son to watch DJ when we had an opp to attend a concert. Knowing that if DJ pooped, my NT adult son would not deal with it. Fortunately, DJ did not poop. Unfortunately, my adult single son views himself as the " fun brother & uncle " & refuses to do other than spoil DJ, nieces & baby nephew. Which translates into not putting kiddo in bed & feeding said kiddo soft drinks & other delights. Oh & telling me not to be " hard on DJ " & defending him...Which is cool cause the DJ's of the world need a champion spoiler in their lives...but... , maybe until you find the magical daycare or sitter, you could have mother in law rotate watching kiddos. Take one alone on an outing for a day, repeat with each kiddo? It IS so hard whether 1 kiddo or 4 or more. Heart hugs again. I wish, Kris > > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2010 Report Share Posted August 8, 2010 Dar is really not fine. She's always been fragile. She's very overweight and has knee issues, she can't lift her leg to get into the car. She has very low thyroid which she wasn't taking her meds for until this past week (she ran out a year ago). But even at the best of times, back before she retired and was still taking her meds, she's never been the type to get on the floor with the kids or play with them. She watches them . When she's here, she plays with her nintendo a lot. likes to sit in her lap and watch. She will sit and read books to them. I used to try suggesting activities (play-doh, coloring, puzzles) but she says the kids aren't interested (???). Usually, she puts on the tv and lets them watch. There were many times when we'd get home and diapers hadn't been changed (wet ones...she changed the poopy ones). Back before the surgery, she really enjoyed walking the babies in their strollers. They're no longer in strollers except and he'd rather walk. She's afraid to take the kids outside and deal with 's escape attempts. And she is terrified of 's meltdowns! Last time he had one while she was here (she didn't make him eat his lunch so the meltdown was inevitable), she left him trashing 's room for over an hour until I got home, because he threw a baseball at her and she was afraid of him. Ugh. She really has a hard time getting around, and avoids stairs. She house-sits for us on vacation (and watches the two dogs and two cats) and I know we'll come home to a mess. Last time, she had plates sitting on the counters with flies buzzing on them...we have a dishwasher but apparently it's better to just leave it for me (why she couldn't rinse the food off is beyond me). The toilet was gross, the floors were gross. I hate coming home to that!!! But she read our calendar and saw that we were going away and started making plans for while we're gone. Plans that involve staying here. I dunno how to tell her no. Ugh. And yet, she's nearly always willing and available to watch my kids. And since I need the help....well, we deal. At least I know that she loves the kids. I don't doubt that at all. Sent from my iPhone , I had my stomach meshed from multiple hernias, I think nine. I was over 50 at the time and am just fine. I was told not to lift over 40lbs. I often watch my grandchildren all four of them, 10, 2/7's and 5. The oldest has adhd and attachment disorder. He and the 7yr boy fight like mad and the 5 yr old boy joins right in. The 7 yr old girl yells at all three and Zeb hides in his room. I'm tired too after they leave but it's not that often that my daughter has a chance to go out alone. She also feel the same as you do, not giving each child enough time. My kids are spaced so far apart I never had that problem. Charlyne Mom to Zeb 17 DS Subject: Re: Re: Very sad... To: " " < > Date: Saturday, August 7, 2010, 11:01 PM I often take 1-2 kids with me on weekends...like today, Annika had karate so I brought along. We talked and hung out during her class. I'd love to take to Six Flags...or even and . Or take Annika and to Storybook Land. Or take everyone to the beach. The MIL idea is good, except that my kids really wear her out! I usually only ask her to help when I'm really in a pickle (like, I have a Dr's appt or a meeting at school). She had a huge surgery last fall that resulted in a mesh cage around the inside of her belly (she had a bunch of big hernias). So she has trouble bending, lifting. She means well but often comments how she " slept real good " after spending a couple of hours with my kids. I really need someone with all the time, teaching him. Helping him. I am pulled in so many directions, sometimes it's all I can do to manage using his PECS and sign. That sounds dramatic, I know. I mean, it's not hard to do, it's just that I'm dealing with my oldest two--both strong-willed Aspies who get into a LOT of arguments (last Saturday, and got into a fight over our newly-fixed Wii, and got so mad that he ripped the Wii out of the cabinet, disconnecting all the wires in a very sudden way, then threw it across the room at the chair that had been sitting in. Ugh!). And then there's my very mommy-focused 4-year-old. I do my best...but I'm stretched very thin. I think would thrive if I could make teaching moments out of his, erm, lapses in judgement! So no one really is getting enough. My two oldest kids really NEED playdates but we can't do 'em... needs 24-hr ABA...Annika could use some playdates, too...and the guilt list goes on. Sent from my iPhone I wish (every day) that there were daycare centers geared primarily for kiddos with disabilities. NT kiddos welcome but 24/7 centers geared for our kiddos. And affordable. One reason I stopped working & now poorer is that DJ got " kicked out " of the daycare he had attended since he was about age 4. It was before & after school care only. They insisted that he should be moved up with his age group; he of course was not ready & ended up opening the emergency door & wandering out into the parking lot.... Once they all recovered from their heart attacks, I assume they realized that they were no longer equipped to handle the DJ type of kiddo. We have no family in this state aside from my adult kids-who work odd days & hours. I recently broke down & asked my adult single son to watch DJ when we had an opp to attend a concert. Knowing that if DJ pooped, my NT adult son would not deal with it. Fortunately, DJ did not poop. Unfortunately, my adult single son views himself as the " fun brother & uncle " & refuses to do other than spoil DJ, nieces & baby nephew. Which translates into not putting kiddo in bed & feeding said kiddo soft drinks & other delights. Oh & telling me not to be " hard on DJ " & defending him...Which is cool cause the DJ's of the world need a champion spoiler in their lives...but... , maybe until you find the magical daycare or sitter, you could have mother in law rotate watching kiddos. Take one alone on an outing for a day, repeat with each kiddo? It IS so hard whether 1 kiddo or 4 or more. Heart hugs again. I wish, Kris > > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2010 Report Share Posted August 9, 2010 , I am so sorry that you have no one that you can rely on. I wish I has some answers for you. Charlyne Mom to Zeb 17 DS I wish (every day) that there were daycare centers geared primarily for kiddos with disabilities. NT kiddos welcome but 24/7 centers geared for our kiddos. And affordable. One reason I stopped working & now poorer is that DJ got " kicked out " of the daycare he had attended since he was about age 4. It was before & after school care only. They insisted that he should be moved up with his age group; he of course was not ready & ended up opening the emergency door & wandering out into the parking lot.... Once they all recovered from their heart attacks, I assume they realized that they were no longer equipped to handle the DJ type of kiddo. We have no family in this state aside from my adult kids-who work odd days & hours. I recently broke down & asked my adult single son to watch DJ when we had an opp to attend a concert. Knowing that if DJ pooped, my NT adult son would not deal with it. Fortunately, DJ did not poop. Unfortunately, my adult single son views himself as the " fun brother & uncle " & refuses to do other than spoil DJ, nieces & baby nephew. Which translates into not putting kiddo in bed & feeding said kiddo soft drinks & other delights. Oh & telling me not to be " hard on DJ " & defending him...Which is cool cause the DJ's of the world need a champion spoiler in their lives...but... , maybe until you find the magical daycare or sitter, you could have mother in law rotate watching kiddos. Take one alone on an outing for a day, repeat with each kiddo? It IS so hard whether 1 kiddo or 4 or more. Heart hugs again. I wish, Kris > > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2010 Report Share Posted August 9, 2010 Hi, The only way we could afford to hire someone is if I went back to work...except we couldn't afford anyone then because we'd have to pay for after-school care for 4 kids. Sigh. I do my best. I just want my kids to have a good, happy childhood. Right now it's hard to manage, but I'm hoping that certain things get easier as they get older. Right now it's hard because I have AND a 4-year-old (she is super-responsible and super-good, but still 4!) and the 6-year-old with meltdowns. I am hopeful that will get better at dealing with anger (or we'll find another med that helps him!) and Annika will of course continue to grow more mature. She's already remarkable for her age as far as fending for herself. Sent from my iPhone , I am so sorry that you have no one that you can rely on. I wish I has some answers for you. Charlyne Mom to Zeb 17 DS I wish (every day) that there were daycare centers geared primarily for kiddos with disabilities. NT kiddos welcome but 24/7 centers geared for our kiddos. And affordable. One reason I stopped working & now poorer is that DJ got " kicked out " of the daycare he had attended since he was about age 4. It was before & after school care only. They insisted that he should be moved up with his age group; he of course was not ready & ended up opening the emergency door & wandering out into the parking lot.... Once they all recovered from their heart attacks, I assume they realized that they were no longer equipped to handle the DJ type of kiddo. We have no family in this state aside from my adult kids-who work odd days & hours. I recently broke down & asked my adult single son to watch DJ when we had an opp to attend a concert. Knowing that if DJ pooped, my NT adult son would not deal with it. Fortunately, DJ did not poop. Unfortunately, my adult single son views himself as the " fun brother & uncle " & refuses to do other than spoil DJ, nieces & baby nephew. Which translates into not putting kiddo in bed & feeding said kiddo soft drinks & other delights. Oh & telling me not to be " hard on DJ " & defending him...Which is cool cause the DJ's of the world need a champion spoiler in their lives...but... , maybe until you find the magical daycare or sitter, you could have mother in law rotate watching kiddos. Take one alone on an outing for a day, repeat with each kiddo? It IS so hard whether 1 kiddo or 4 or more. Heart hugs again. I wish, Kris > > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 ,  My heart goes out to you. We've been struggling with day care as well and I was afraid that they were going to kick my son out, but we found help from a state-funded agency, Project Act, which is part of Abilities Network here in land and funded by the land Developmental Disabilities Administration. I don't know if all states have this type of program, but they went in and observed Aidan's behaviors and have been working with his day care teachers to train them and develop strategies for dealing with his behaviors. Aidan's case manager even went to his early intervention school to observe him so that she could see some of the things his teachers are doing there that could be implemented at the day care. She helped the day care implement a picture schedule for him, signs and a few basic PECS as well as other things.  Aidan's case worker has been amazing.  She's been going twice a week, but he's doing so well now she's cutting back to once a week. Aidan's day care teacher has completely turned around and seems to enjoy having him in her class (although he's still a lot more work than the NT  kids) and seems much more comfortable with him.  Aidan is not with his chronological peers (he'll be 5 in November, but is in a 3 year old room), but it seems to work better for him than putting him in a room he's not developmentally ready for.  Anyway, you might check to see if there is a similar service available where you are. Oftentimes, day care staff just don't know what to do and how to handle children with special needs (particularly when there are behaviors involved) and giving them some coping mechanisms can make a big difference in their willingness to work with your child.  Dana     ________________________________ To: " " < > Sent: Fri, August 6, 2010 8:58:20 PM Subject: Very sad...  Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. Ugh. Sent from my iPhone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Hi, Thanks so much for writing! Unfortunately, was only going on a " drop-in " basis...a couple of times/week for the month of August. Just enough time for me to do fun stuff with his sibs, kwim? I'm sure that if he were there every day, they'd be very accommodating. They tried the younger room, but Sndrew is VERY aggressive to toddlers. Knocks them down. It's a " preferred activity " --more fun than puzzles or whatever. . The bigger kids' room is problematic because they have fewer adults in there and needs 1:1 care. Like I said, they'd make it work if he were there every day...but for drop-in care, I guess it's not worth it. Sent from my iPhone , My heart goes out to you. We've been struggling with day care as well and I was afraid that they were going to kick my son out, but we found help from a state-funded agency, Project Act, which is part of Abilities Network here in land and funded by the land Developmental Disabilities Administration. I don't know if all states have this type of program, but they went in and observed Aidan's behaviors and have been working with his day care teachers to train them and develop strategies for dealing with his behaviors. Aidan's case manager even went to his early intervention school to observe him so that she could see some of the things his teachers are doing there that could be implemented at the day care. She helped the day care implement a picture schedule for him, signs and a few basic PECS as well as other things. Aidan's case worker has been amazing. She's been going twice a week, but he's doing so well now she's cutting back to once a week. Aidan's day care teacher has completely turned around and seems to enjoy having him in her class (although he's still a lot more work than the NT kids) and seems much more comfortable with him. Aidan is not with his chronological peers (he'll be 5 in November, but is in a 3 year old room), but it seems to work better for him than putting him in a room he's not developmentally ready for. Anyway, you might check to see if there is a similar service available where you are. Oftentimes, day care staff just don't know what to do and how to handle children with special needs (particularly when there are behaviors involved) and giving them some coping mechanisms can make a big difference in their willingness to work with your child. Dana ________________________________ To: " " < > Sent: Fri, August 6, 2010 8:58:20 PM Subject: Very sad... Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other 3 to the beach. Or whatever. This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working out well. *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too guilty because I know he's happy there. And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the slider). I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see why losing this is quite a blow... When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and stuff. Ugh. Sent from my iPhone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 When our was smaller he was at least able to be contained in some situations. Now at age 13, 100 lbs, and as strong as he is flexible (powerful combo) we are very limited on who can watch him. He was adopted as an infant but we are fortunate to still have some services thru DCFS here in Illinois. At this time we are supposed to have 40 hours a week of " Theraputic Stabilization " services which is a well trained caregiver. Problem: 's behaviors such as running off, throwing EVERYTHING, meltdowns with scratching and hitting himself and/or others are all so severe that the agency has tried countless staff members who were unable to handle him. Currently we have two people and get about 8 hours of the 40 a week. With the help of our 15 year old daughter and 24 year old son who both are wonderful with my husband and I occassionally get to go out for a couple hours. Otherwise we take turns. The agency says that if they eventually cannot staff someone for we will need to consider residential placement. I argue that WE ARE his placement, that is why we adopted him. What is the staff there going to do with him!? Anyway, Sorry if I am venting more than helping. It helps me to come here and look for ideas and at least read that others have the same challenges. > > , >  > My heart goes out to you. We've been struggling with day care as well and I was > afraid that they were going to kick my son out, but we found help from a > state-funded agency, Project Act, which is part of Abilities Network here in > land and funded by the land Developmental Disabilities Administration. > I don't know if all states have this type of program, but they went in and > observed Aidan's behaviors and have been working with his day care teachers to > train them and develop strategies for dealing with his behaviors. Aidan's case > manager even went to his early intervention school to observe him so that she > could see some of the things his teachers are doing there that could be > implemented at the day care. She helped the day care implement a picture > schedule for him, signs and a few basic PECS as well as other things.  Aidan's > case worker has been amazing.  She's been going twice a week, but he's doing so > well now she's cutting back to once a week. Aidan's day care teacher has > completely turned around and seems to enjoy having him in her class (although > he's still a lot more work than the NT  kids) and seems much more comfortable > with him.  Aidan is not with his chronological peers (he'll be 5 in November, > but is in a 3 year old room), but it seems to work better for him than putting > him in a room he's not developmentally ready for. > >  > Anyway, you might check to see if there is a similar service available where you > are. Oftentimes, day care staff just don't know what to do and how to handle > children with special needs (particularly when there are behaviors involved) and > giving them some coping mechanisms can make a big difference in their > willingness to work with your child. > >  > Dana >  >  >  > >  > > > > ________________________________ > > To: " " < > > Sent: Fri, August 6, 2010 8:58:20 PM > Subject: Very sad... > >  > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this > summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other > 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept > running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and > he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was > throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working > out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, > but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just > got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't > having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. > I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole > time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and > flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I > deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. > At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it > there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too > guilty because I know he's happy there. > > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger > kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go > to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during > the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in > the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over > the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the > slider). > > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD > reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. > That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. > Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see > why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and > stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Does that mean they would try to take him from your home??? Don't get me started on DFCS....another touchy subject here, which I think ended up being the cause of death for Schaefer (she was helping us with a 7 year-old case with DFCS and about to blow them out of the water within the week. Then she mysteriously ends up dead.) Bad news.... But I cannot imagine (well, actually I can) that they would take him from you. That is like something they implicated to me before...like I was less fit than other moms. They are just weird! I proved my fitness in a court of law with my own son. > > > > , > >  > > My heart goes out to you. We've been struggling with day care as well and I was > > afraid that they were going to kick my son out, but we found help from a > > state-funded agency, Project Act, which is part of Abilities Network here in > > land and funded by the land Developmental Disabilities Administration. > > I don't know if all states have this type of program, but they went in and > > observed Aidan's behaviors and have been working with his day care teachers to > > train them and develop strategies for dealing with his behaviors. Aidan's case > > manager even went to his early intervention school to observe him so that she > > could see some of the things his teachers are doing there that could be > > implemented at the day care. She helped the day care implement a picture > > schedule for him, signs and a few basic PECS as well as other things.  Aidan's > > case worker has been amazing.  She's been going twice a week, but he's doing so > > well now she's cutting back to once a week. Aidan's day care teacher has > > completely turned around and seems to enjoy having him in her class (although > > he's still a lot more work than the NT  kids) and seems much more comfortable > > with him.  Aidan is not with his chronological peers (he'll be 5 in November, > > but is in a 3 year old room), but it seems to work better for him than putting > > him in a room he's not developmentally ready for. > > > >  > > Anyway, you might check to see if there is a similar service available where you > > are. Oftentimes, day care staff just don't know what to do and how to handle > > children with special needs (particularly when there are behaviors involved) and > > giving them some coping mechanisms can make a big difference in their > > willingness to work with your child. > > > >  > > Dana > >  > >  > >  > > > >  > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: Cookson <macookson@> > > To: " " < > > > Sent: Fri, August 6, 2010 8:58:20 PM > > Subject: Very sad... > > > >  > > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this > > summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other > > 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept > > running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and > > he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was > > throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working > > out well. > > > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, > > but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just > > got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't > > having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. > > I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole > > time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and > > flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I > > deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. > > At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it > > there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too > > guilty because I know he's happy there. > > > > > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger > > kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go > > to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during > > the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in > > the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over > > the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the > > slider). > > > > > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD > > reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. > > That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. > > Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see > > why losing this is quite a blow... > > > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and > > stuff. > > > > Ugh. > > > > > > > > Sent from my iPhone > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 I can't even imagine how hard it is to manage a 100-lb contortionist ('s one of those, too...and it's surprising the trouble that comes from being able to fold completely in 1/2!! Sent from my iPhone When our was smaller he was at least able to be contained in some situations. Now at age 13, 100 lbs, and as strong as he is flexible (powerful combo) we are very limited on who can watch him. He was adopted as an infant but we are fortunate to still have some services thru DCFS here in Illinois. At this time we are supposed to have 40 hours a week of " Theraputic Stabilization " services which is a well trained caregiver. Problem: 's behaviors such as running off, throwing EVERYTHING, meltdowns with scratching and hitting himself and/or others are all so severe that the agency has tried countless staff members who were unable to handle him. Currently we have two people and get about 8 hours of the 40 a week. With the help of our 15 year old daughter and 24 year old son who both are wonderful with my husband and I occassionally get to go out for a couple hours. Otherwise we take turns. The agency says that if they eventually cannot staff someone for we will need to consider residential placement. I argue that WE ARE his placement, that is why we adopted him. What is the staff there going to do with him!? Anyway, Sorry if I am venting more than helping. It helps me to come here and look for ideas and at least read that others have the same challenges. > > , >  > My heart goes out to you. We've been struggling with day care as well and I was > afraid that they were going to kick my son out, but we found help from a > state-funded agency, Project Act, which is part of Abilities Network here in > land and funded by the land Developmental Disabilities Administration. > I don't know if all states have this type of program, but they went in and > observed Aidan's behaviors and have been working with his day care teachers to > train them and develop strategies for dealing with his behaviors. Aidan's case > manager even went to his early intervention school to observe him so that she > could see some of the things his teachers are doing there that could be > implemented at the day care. She helped the day care implement a picture > schedule for him, signs and a few basic PECS as well as other things.  Aidan's > case worker has been amazing.  She's been going twice a week, but he's doing so > well now she's cutting back to once a week. Aidan's day care teacher has > completely turned around and seems to enjoy having him in her class (although > he's still a lot more work than the NT  kids) and seems much more comfortable > with him.  Aidan is not with his chronological peers (he'll be 5 in November, > but is in a 3 year old room), but it seems to work better for him than putting > him in a room he's not developmentally ready for. > >  > Anyway, you might check to see if there is a similar service available where you > are. Oftentimes, day care staff just don't know what to do and how to handle > children with special needs (particularly when there are behaviors involved) and > giving them some coping mechanisms can make a big difference in their > willingness to work with your child. > >  > Dana >  >  >  > >  > > > > ________________________________ > > To: " " < > > Sent: Fri, August 6, 2010 8:58:20 PM > Subject: Very sad... > >  > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this > summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other > 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept > running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and > he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was > throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working > out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, > but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just > got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't > having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. > I can just _enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole > time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and > flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I > deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. > At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it > there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too > guilty because I know he's happy there. > > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger > kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go > to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during > the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in > the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over > the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the > slider). > > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD > reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. > That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. > Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see > why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and > stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Debbie, was this just one person who said this or was it written down or repeated by others? Does DCFS mean goes for the respite time at a residential setting? Or do they mean that they will incur 24 hour living expenses instead of finding you someone who can give you respite help. I can't imagine the beancounters for DCFS would be impressed. When the time comes maybe you can appeal or complain up high enough to someone who gets the financial impact of the decision. I know DCFS can often be perverse in its decision making, but maybe someone with common sense might be found. Could you hire 2 people at the same time for half the number of 40 hours? Our system is different in BC so if this advice doesn't fit, just ignore it. Best of luck Mom to Dar (age 6, but already 52lbs and I'm realizing that 100 lbs will be a whole different world) Very sad... > >  > Sigh. DH took to the day care at his work today. Last summer and this > summer, we put there on days when I had appts or wanted to take my other > 3 to the beach. Or whatever. > > This summer, started out in the room for kids his age. But he kept > running away, not staying with the group. They moved him with littler kids and > he did very well. Until today. Apparently, he got tired of doing well and was > throwing stuff and pushing the other kids. We were told that this isn't working > out well. > > *sigh*...I need to vent and this is the only safe place. I love , dearly, > but I NEED respite. I can't even tell you how much easier life is when I've just > got his 3 sibs...2 of whom have very mild Asperger's!!! But, when isn't > having a meltdown, things are fairly easy. They listen. They play. We have fun. > I can just_enjoy_ my kids. When is there, I'm on red alert the whole > time. Will he try to run, will he hurt somebody, run inthe street, drop and > flop, turn over a stroller? AND what if has a meltdown...omg. How could I > deal with that AND ??!!!! I couldn't. > > This day care was my respite. My MIL watches them but doesn't engage them much. > At the day care, he was getting stimulated, learning, playing. He LOVES it > there. I always feel guilty leaving him there to go to the beach, but not too > guilty because I know he's happy there. > > > And now it's just gone. How am I supposed to provide any normalcy for my bigger > kids now? There's so much we can't do...because of . Ride bikes, camp, go > to fairs, have friends over ( tries to maul them), visit the lake during > the week (can only do weekends when DH is home). Even something like playing in > the backyard, I either have to BE out there to make sure doesn't get over > the fence again, or I have to lock the other kids out (so can't open the > slider). > > > I dunno what to do. I wish we could afford a nanny...but we can't. DDD > reimburses for babysitting, but we got a $1000 stipend for the next two years. > That's not a lot of hours...around here, a sitter for one NT kid runs $10/hr. > Special needs costs more. The day care cost $30 for an entire DAY. You can see > why losing this is quite a blow... > > When school starts, we'll still have issues, dragging to activities and > stuff. > > Ugh. > > > > Sent from my iPhone > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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