Re: Can I please vent...Mommy coping strategies for new events

[Guest guest]

I have always been a blunt and outspoken person, but I get tired of

constantly repeating myself to others. (Like a broken record no one

hears!) So, this is what I do. If for instance my husband keeps bringing

gluten bread into the house, then I tell him, " Do not bring gluten bread

into the house anymore, or I will throw it away. " Next time I see it, I

simply throw it away....no words. When he raises cain, then I simply

repeat myself with above comment. Eventually the message sinks in

(whatever the message is to whoever it is to) if you get your sentence

and keep repeating calmly, then take action if you are ignored. This

applies to everything. I called in home ABA. LOL.

Keep your behavior constant and they eventually change their behavior.

And sometimes I just have to be the mean mom. [>]

[Guest guest]

ya'll are funny. Here is my social story for road trips...

We will have to stop and a rest stop. I will have to take my son in the ladies

room. People will stare. They will stop staring when he starts to hand flap.

Nobody will ask. Just get in and get out.

or recently for the aquarium on a Sat....

Don't forget the handi-capped plachard and don't forget to put it in the window.

We will need to get a wheelchair. My big son gets the wheelchair. My little

son has to hold it. Dress them in red in case they escape. Know their current

height and weight, just in case. If one gets away flag down aquarium staff

ASAP. Always check the popcorn machine or sting ray tanks first. Which ever is

closest. Ignore nasty looks that will ensue if a boy gets lost. Deep breath.

If poop hit the fan just go home.

I did lose the big boy and got nasty looks. He was found at the popcorn

machine. Right at the end too. Just when I thought we'd made it through. It

was his Birthday so it was worth the trip. It was my first time out with 14

year old who gets hyped by crowds and 2 1/2 year old who recently joined the

list of children who break rules just to rebel.

> >

> > I sincerely hope I do not offend anyone with what I NEED to say, but I hope

> >that you all may at one time or another been there and know that there are

days

> >when we just feel hopeless, tired, and alone.

> > I am fairly new to the group and I had come across someones post

" complaining "

> >about not being able to travel, etc. I'd like to first apolgize to that

person

> >for my judging them (personally, in the privacy of my own home, but never the

> >less still judging them.)

> >

> > I truly believe that we have all been there...thinking of our futures, of

what

> >could have been or may be,

> > A few weeek ago when I joined I told everyone that I am a mother of 4. The

> >second born, who is 7 is our precious boy with ds. I was 24 when was

conceived.

> >25 when he was born. I knew about when I was 5 months pregnant. I

was

> >scared, I didnt know much if anything about ds or any other condition. As a

lot

> >of us think...it will never happen to me. Out of sight, out of mind.

> > However, coming from a christian background and a divorced family I have

always

> >been a fighter. Looking at the positive things in life and nurturing that.

> > After a few days of self pity, I started researching everything and anything

to

> >do with ds. I read EVERY available book in the library, made calls,

connections,

> >etc. I felt prepared and ready to help my child achieve his potential. After

> >all, I thought, they are known to be caring and loving.

> > After he was born I was determined to get him into all therapies, prgrams

> >available. I joined local parent gropus, attended seminars and seeked out the

> >local pediatrician known to deal with special needs children with a

> >compassionate attitude.

> > But,...things changed. My once smiling caring, giggling toddler was gone.

His

> >sparkling eyes now tend to just stare out in space...I felt/feel grief for my

> >little boy. Dont get me wrong, I do not love him any less. If anything I love

> >him that much more, but I cant help but feel " cheated " . I accepted the ds

> >diagnosis. I was positive and dreamt of his bright future, I did not however,

> >think this would happen,

> > It has been a year since his dx, but it still hurts. I still feel alone and

> >feel that I need to do more to help him. I am still a member of our local ds

> >group. They just sent me a link of pics from the ds meeting they attended in

> >Orlando. As I browsed the 200+ ics posted I first smiled seeing their

> >participation, but the smiles turned to tears...thinking to myself, " its not

> >fair " , " thats what I thought it would be like. I expected delays but I also

> >expected him to be part of a special group, one who he could bond and feel a

> >part of. I dod not expect him to prefer to be alone in his dark closet rather

> >than playing with his sibligs. I did not expect to miss his smile and warm

eyes,

> >the connection....

> > What is hard is not being able to voice me feelings with anyone, Rather

keeping

> >them bottled pretending to be strong only to crumble into sobs at night when

> >everyone is asleep. This is when I think, :its not fair " \

> > Thanks to all who read this. Sorry it was so long but if I cant talk, themn

at

> >least I write...I need to just....sigh and let it ou.

> > Good night to all and God bless....

> > Jenn

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Our story for our trip to MAINE at the end of August (by car.

We are going on vacation.

Yeah - hotels with pools. Sleep in sleeping bag on the floor for Elie.

Yeah - hamburger french fries.

We will ride and ride.

See all the brothers.

See all the sisters.

See all the visitors.

See the pool. Refuse to go to the pool.

Play in cabin with DVD player. Close the door.

Get food from the kitchen so ELie can hide in cabin.

Oh look. Time to get dressed for the wedding.

Refuse to get dressed. Bribe with hamburger after wedding.

Refuse to stay dressed . Bribe with ice cream after the wedding.

All done. Let's drive home.

Hotel with swimming pool.

>

>

> ya'll are funny. Here is my social story for road trips...

>

> We will have to stop and a rest stop. I will have to take my son in the

> ladies room. People will stare. They will stop staring when he starts to

> hand flap. Nobody will ask. Just get in and get out.

>

> or recently for the aquarium on a Sat....

>

> Don't forget the handi-capped plachard and don't forget to put it in the

> window. We will need to get a wheelchair. My big son gets the wheelchair. My

> little son has to hold it. Dress them in red in case they escape. Know their

> current height and weight, just in case. If one gets away flag down aquarium

> staff ASAP. Always check the popcorn machine or sting ray tanks first. Which

> ever is closest. Ignore nasty looks that will ensue if a boy gets lost. Deep

> breath. If poop hit the fan just go home.

>

> I did lose the big boy and got nasty looks. He was found at the popcorn

> machine. Right at the end too. Just when I thought we'd made it through. It

> was his Birthday so it was worth the trip. It was my first time out with 14

> year old who gets hyped by crowds and 2 1/2 year old who recently joined the

> list of children who break rules just to rebel.

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > I sincerely hope I do not offend anyone with what I NEED to say, but I

> hope

> > >that you all may at one time or another been there and know that there

> are days

> > >when we just feel hopeless, tired, and alone.

> > > I am fairly new to the group and I had come across someones post

> " complaining "

> > >about not being able to travel, etc. I'd like to first apolgize to that

> person

> > >for my judging them (personally, in the privacy of my own home, but

> never the

> > >less still judging them.)

> > >

> > > I truly believe that we have all been there...thinking of our futures,

> of what

> > >could have been or may be,

> > > A few weeek ago when I joined I told everyone that I am a mother of 4.

> The

> > >second born, who is 7 is our precious boy with ds. I was 24 when was

> conceived.

> > >25 when he was born. I knew about when I was 5 months pregnant.

> I was

> > >scared, I didnt know much if anything about ds or any other condition.

> As a lot

> > >of us think...it will never happen to me. Out of sight, out of mind.

> > > However, coming from a christian background and a divorced family I

> have always

> > >been a fighter. Looking at the positive things in life and nurturing

> that.

> > > After a few days of self pity, I started researching everything and

> anything to

> > >do with ds. I read EVERY available book in the library, made calls,

> connections,

> > >etc. I felt prepared and ready to help my child achieve his potential.

> After

> > >all, I thought, they are known to be caring and loving.

> > > After he was born I was determined to get him into all therapies,

> prgrams

> > >available. I joined local parent gropus, attended seminars and seeked

> out the

> > >local pediatrician known to deal with special needs children with a

> > >compassionate attitude.

> > > But,...things changed. My once smiling caring, giggling toddler was

> gone. His

> > >sparkling eyes now tend to just stare out in space...I felt/feel grief

> for my

> > >little boy. Dont get me wrong, I do not love him any less. If anything I

> love

> > >him that much more, but I cant help but feel " cheated " . I accepted the

> ds

> > >diagnosis. I was positive and dreamt of his bright future, I did not

> however,

> > >think this would happen,

> > > It has been a year since his dx, but it still hurts. I still feel alone

> and

> > >feel that I need to do more to help him. I am still a member of our

> local ds

> > >group. They just sent me a link of pics from the ds meeting they

> attended in

> > >Orlando. As I browsed the 200+ ics posted I first smiled seeing their

> > >participation, but the smiles turned to tears...thinking to myself, " its

> not

> > >fair " , " thats what I thought it would be like. I expected delays but I

> also

> > >expected him to be part of a special group, one who he could bond and

> feel a

> > >part of. I dod not expect him to prefer to be alone in his dark closet

> rather

> > >than playing with his sibligs. I did not expect to miss his smile and

> warm eyes,

> > >the connection....

> > > What is hard is not being able to voice me feelings with anyone, Rather

> keeping

> > >them bottled pretending to be strong only to crumble into sobs at night

> when

> > >everyone is asleep. This is when I think, :its not fair " \

> > > Thanks to all who read this. Sorry it was so long but if I cant talk,

> themn at

> > >least I write...I need to just....sigh and let it ou.

> > > Good night to all and God bless....

> > > Jenn

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Sara!!! YOU'RE COMING TO MAINE?????????? WHEN?

Jayne

> > > >

> > > > I sincerely hope I do not offend anyone with what I NEED to say, but I

> > hope

> > > >that you all may at one time or another been there and know that there

> > are days

> > > >when we just feel hopeless, tired, and alone.

> > > > I am fairly new to the group and I had come across someones post

> > " complaining "

> > > >about not being able to travel, etc. I'd like to first apolgize to that

> > person

> > > >for my judging them (personally, in the privacy of my own home, but

> > never the

> > > >less still judging them.)

> > > >

> > > > I truly believe that we have all been there...thinking of our futures,

> > of what

> > > >could have been or may be,

> > > > A few weeek ago when I joined I told everyone that I am a mother of 4.

> > The

> > > >second born, who is 7 is our precious boy with ds. I was 24 when was

> > conceived.

> > > >25 when he was born. I knew about when I was 5 months pregnant.

> > I was

> > > >scared, I didnt know much if anything about ds or any other condition.

> > As a lot

> > > >of us think...it will never happen to me. Out of sight, out of mind.

> > > > However, coming from a christian background and a divorced family I

> > have always

> > > >been a fighter. Looking at the positive things in life and nurturing

> > that.

> > > > After a few days of self pity, I started researching everything and

> > anything to

> > > >do with ds. I read EVERY available book in the library, made calls,

> > connections,

> > > >etc. I felt prepared and ready to help my child achieve his potential.

> > After

> > > >all, I thought, they are known to be caring and loving.

> > > > After he was born I was determined to get him into all therapies,

> > prgrams

> > > >available. I joined local parent gropus, attended seminars and seeked

> > out the

> > > >local pediatrician known to deal with special needs children with a

> > > >compassionate attitude.

> > > > But,...things changed. My once smiling caring, giggling toddler was

> > gone. His

> > > >sparkling eyes now tend to just stare out in space...I felt/feel grief

> > for my

> > > >little boy. Dont get me wrong, I do not love him any less. If anything I

> > love

> > > >him that much more, but I cant help but feel " cheated " . I accepted the

> > ds

> > > >diagnosis. I was positive and dreamt of his bright future, I did not

> > however,

> > > >think this would happen,

> > > > It has been a year since his dx, but it still hurts. I still feel alone

> > and

> > > >feel that I need to do more to help him. I am still a member of our

> > local ds

> > > >group. They just sent me a link of pics from the ds meeting they

> > attended in

> > > >Orlando. As I browsed the 200+ ics posted I first smiled seeing their

> > > >participation, but the smiles turned to tears...thinking to myself, " its

> > not

> > > >fair " , " thats what I thought it would be like. I expected delays but I

> > also

> > > >expected him to be part of a special group, one who he could bond and

> > feel a

> > > >part of. I dod not expect him to prefer to be alone in his dark closet

> > rather

> > > >than playing with his sibligs. I did not expect to miss his smile and

> > warm eyes,

> > > >the connection....

> > > > What is hard is not being able to voice me feelings with anyone, Rather

> > keeping

> > > >them bottled pretending to be strong only to crumble into sobs at night

> > when

> > > >everyone is asleep. This is when I think, :its not fair " \

> > > > Thanks to all who read this. Sorry it was so long but if I cant talk,

> > themn at

> > > >least I write...I need to just....sigh and let it ou.

> > > > Good night to all and God bless....

> > > > Jenn

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

YES I AM!!! The wedding is August 21. We aim to be there August 20-22. We

will be at Camp Micah in Bridgton. Where are you??????

>

>

>

> Sara!!! YOU'RE COMING TO MAINE?????????? WHEN?

>

> Jayne

>

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > I sincerely hope I do not offend anyone with what I NEED to say,

> but I

> > > hope

> > > > >that you all may at one time or another been there and know that

> there

> > > are days

> > > > >when we just feel hopeless, tired, and alone.

> > > > > I am fairly new to the group and I had come across someones post

> > > " complaining "

> > > > >about not being able to travel, etc. I'd like to first apolgize to

> that

> > > person

> > > > >for my judging them (personally, in the privacy of my own home, but

> > > never the

> > > > >less still judging them.)

> > > > >

> > > > > I truly believe that we have all been there...thinking of our

> futures,

> > > of what

> > > > >could have been or may be,

> > > > > A few weeek ago when I joined I told everyone that I am a mother of

> 4.

> > > The

> > > > >second born, who is 7 is our precious boy with ds. I was 24 when was

> > > conceived.

> > > > >25 when he was born. I knew about when I was 5 months

> pregnant.

> > > I was

> > > > >scared, I didnt know much if anything about ds or any other

> condition.

> > > As a lot

> > > > >of us think...it will never happen to me. Out of sight, out of mind.

> > > > > However, coming from a christian background and a divorced family I

> > > have always

> > > > >been a fighter. Looking at the positive things in life and nurturing

> > > that.

> > > > > After a few days of self pity, I started researching everything and

> > > anything to

> > > > >do with ds. I read EVERY available book in the library, made calls,

> > > connections,

> > > > >etc. I felt prepared and ready to help my child achieve his

> potential.

> > > After

> > > > >all, I thought, they are known to be caring and loving.

> > > > > After he was born I was determined to get him into all therapies,

> > > prgrams

> > > > >available. I joined local parent gropus, attended seminars and

> seeked

> > > out the

> > > > >local pediatrician known to deal with special needs children with a

> > > > >compassionate attitude.

> > > > > But,...things changed. My once smiling caring, giggling toddler was

> > > gone. His

> > > > >sparkling eyes now tend to just stare out in space...I felt/feel

> grief

> > > for my

> > > > >little boy. Dont get me wrong, I do not love him any less. If

> anything I

> > > love

> > > > >him that much more, but I cant help but feel " cheated " . I accepted

> the

> > > ds

> > > > >diagnosis. I was positive and dreamt of his bright future, I did not

> > > however,

> > > > >think this would happen,

> > > > > It has been a year since his dx, but it still hurts. I still feel

> alone

> > > and

> > > > >feel that I need to do more to help him. I am still a member of our

> > > local ds

> > > > >group. They just sent me a link of pics from the ds meeting they

> > > attended in

> > > > >Orlando. As I browsed the 200+ ics posted I first smiled seeing

> their

> > > > >participation, but the smiles turned to tears...thinking to myself,

> " its

> > > not

> > > > >fair " , " thats what I thought it would be like. I expected delays but

> I

> > > also

> > > > >expected him to be part of a special group, one who he could bond

> and

> > > feel a

> > > > >part of. I dod not expect him to prefer to be alone in his dark

> closet

> > > rather

> > > > >than playing with his sibligs. I did not expect to miss his smile

> and

> > > warm eyes,

> > > > >the connection....

> > > > > What is hard is not being able to voice me feelings with anyone,

> Rather

> > > keeping

> > > > >them bottled pretending to be strong only to crumble into sobs at

> night

> > > when

> > > > >everyone is asleep. This is when I think, :its not fair " \

> > > > > Thanks to all who read this. Sorry it was so long but if I cant

> talk,

> > > themn at

> > > > >least I write...I need to just....sigh and let it ou.

> > > > > Good night to all and God bless....

> > > > > Jenn

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Oh wow, Bridgton - beautiful area. A few hours from me...

Well poop! I come through there on the 19th after taking to college in

Vermont! We drop him off for soccer pre-season on the 17th and come back on the

18th! Shoot. If I wasn't already traveling the 6-14th of August and then the

17th -18th of August, I'd jump in the car with the kids and come say " hi " . I

think I shall be flat out in a looney bin come the 20th! Thank goodness school

starts soon after!

Shoot I would really love to meet you in person Sara. I loved your social story

too, I may have to print that out for my trip to camp for my sister's wedding!

Take care and enjoy the western mountains of Maine!

jayne

>

> >

> >

> >

> > Sara!!! YOU'RE COMING TO MAINE?????????? WHEN?

> >

> > Jayne

[Guest guest]

*ahem* jumping in late, but I'll be in Acadia with my kids/hubby, starting the

19th!!

Sent from my iPhone

Oh wow, Bridgton - beautiful area. A few hours from me...

Well poop! I come through there on the 19th after taking to college in

Vermont! We drop him off for soccer pre-season on the 17th and come back on the

18th! Shoot. If I wasn't already traveling the 6-14th of August and then the

17th -18th of August, I'd jump in the car with the kids and come say " hi " . I

think I shall be flat out in a looney bin come the 20th! Thank goodness school

starts soon after!

Shoot I would really love to meet you in person Sara. I loved your social story

too, I may have to print that out for my trip to camp for my sister's wedding!

Take care and enjoy the western mountains of Maine!

jayne

>

> >

> >

> >

> > Sara!!! YOU'RE COMING TO MAINE?????????? WHEN?

> >

> > Jayne

[Guest guest]

When you come to see Sara, maybe we can meet also. Sara and I live so close that

I am considering going to meet her somewhere (once my car gets situated).

> >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Sara!!! YOU'RE COMING TO MAINE?????????? WHEN?

> > >

> > > Jayne

>