Re: Can I please vent..if only for a moment...? (Christian content)

[Guest guest]

I had replied to by private message thinking... well I got self

conscience regarding the rules and with me being newish. I didn't want to piss

anyone off. This is just my point of view. Not to be placed on anyone else.

God has held me through many trials with my son (even when I was lost and knew

him not)and I'm so grateful and thankful that I can't help but talk about it and

I'm sorry if that has offended anyone. Just know that I do know that your views

on God are possibly and most probably quite different than mine. That is fine

with me. I can only speak for myself.

Eph 1:13-14 & 1:12 & Job and many place talk about overcoming trials. God

is faithful in trials as well. IMHO trials provide more opportunity to be

tempted by sin. Getting snippy with the hubby, complaining, jelously & envy,

doubting.... etc. It all goes together the more that I read and experience it.

I don't know how many of you had misguided Christians telling you that your kids

was a punishment but it isn't true. 9:1-3 is clear in that. Gen ch 1 & 2

recounts how everyone was made in His image. Psalm 127 states the children are

a reward and heritage. It doesn't say only healthy developmentally normal

children. It's all children. 1:17 states that all perfect gifts are from

above. Psalm 139: 13-16 speaks to how God knew each of us before we were born

and created us in the womb, fearfully wonderfully made. That entire Psalm is

favorite of mine. 3:16-17 speaks of God's love and sacrifice. If you

change the word " world " to your name or you child's name it is so impactful.

" For God so Loved Dar.... " There are so many who don't love Dar that I often

need the reminder that God does love him. We know better than nayone that love

and sacrifice go together. 2 Cor 12:9 says " And he said unto me, My grace is

sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly

therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may

rest upon me. " Dar's and my trials and weaknesses are opportunities to lean

upon Christ and go to Him in prayer. I 5:7 " Casting all your care upon

him; for he careth for you. "

http://thekitchenexperiments.blogspot.com/

> >

> > Hi Jenn,

> >

> >

> >

> > I was the one complaining about not being able to travel. Trust me, that is

> > not really the major thing I am concerned about! When things get bad, and

> > they are pretty much always bad around here I start thinking about what

> > could have been. After Quinn was born I pictured myself as a retiree

> > traveling the world with my grown son who had DS. He would be a happy

> > comfortable young man who could mostly take care of himself and was just a

> > little slower a little different. That sure isn't ever going to happen, it

> > is only one of many things that is never going to happen. And if we want to

> > talk about not fair, I am a mother of two.Quinn has DS/ASD and obviously

> > something else since he is so far behind even the kids on this group;

> > is two years younger than Quinn he has ASD. is four years old and

> > can't speak in complete sentences. I have to prompt him to say " Hi Mommy " ,

> > he has lots of other issues too but he isn't even the child I worry about!

> > In my ridiculous little world is a rockstar, he can do so much more

> > than his brother that I think every word he says is amazing. I know it is

> > crazy, but that is how I have to look at things to survive. I have also

> > stopped going to our local DS group events. Not only is Quinn so unlike

> > their children, but they all had babies around when was born and they

> > of course are all fine. I feel completely isolated as the mom of two kids

> > with special needs, I know that even the parents of much more severely

> > disabled kids feel sorry for me, because of course they only have the one

> > child. If I hear one more person tell me " Oh my, you have your hands full "

> > I am going to scream.

> >

> >

> >

> > So please understand if I feel the need to look forward to going to Europe

> > someday in the far far future. My life is very difficult right now. All

> > our lives are very difficult right now. We all need to do what we can to

> > get through it. Personally, I feel more comfortable knowing that if I need

> > it there are group homes for Quinn to live in when he grows up. When I

> > start panicking I remind myself that if it gets to be too much there are

> > options, I may never use those options but it makes me feel better knowing

> > they are there.

> >

> >

> >

> > I am not writing this to be mean and I hope it didn't come off that way. I

> > just want you to have all the information before you judge me again and I

> > want you to know that you are not alone in feeling that it isn't fair. It

> > really isn't. Most of all I want you to focus on your other three children

> > and truly appreciate how lucky you are to have them. When it comes right

> > down to it we are also lucky to have our extra special extra challenging

> > children, it is just harder to see that sometimes when things get so hard.

> >

> >

> >

> > Amy

> >

> >

> >

> > _____

> >

> > From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

> > Of Jenn

> > Sent: Sunday, August 01, 2010 3:28 AM

> > To:

> > Subject: Can I please vent..if only for a moment...?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I sincerely hope I do not offend anyone with what I NEED to say, but I hope

> > that you all may at one time or another been there and know that there are

> > days when we just feel hopeless, tired, and alone.

> > I am fairly new to the group and I had come across someones post

> > " complaining " about not being able to travel, etc. I'd like to first

> > apolgize to that person for my judging them (personally, in the privacy of

> > my own home, but never the less still judging them.)

> > I truly believe that we have all been there...thinking of our futures, of

> > what could have been or may be,

> > A few weeek ago when I joined I told everyone that I am a mother of 4. The

> > second born, who is 7 is our precious boy with ds. I was 24 when was

> > conceived. 25 when he was born. I knew about when I was 5 months

> > pregnant. I was scared, I didnt know much if anything about ds or any other

> > condition. As a lot of us think...it will never happen to me. Out of sight,

> > out of mind.

> > However, coming from a christian background and a divorced family I have

> > always been a fighter. Looking at the positive things in life and nurturing

> > that.

> > After a few days of self pity, I started researching everything and anything

> > to do with ds. I read EVERY available book in the library, made calls,

> > connections, etc. I felt prepared and ready to help my child achieve his

> > potential. After all, I thought, they are known to be caring and loving.

> > After he was born I was determined to get him into all therapies, prgrams

> > available. I joined local parent gropus, attended seminars and seeked out

> > the local pediatrician known to deal with special needs children with a

> > compassionate attitude.

> > But,...things changed. My once smiling caring, giggling toddler was gone.

> > His sparkling eyes now tend to just stare out in space...I felt/feel grief

> > for my little boy. Dont get me wrong, I do not love him any less. If

> > anything I love him that much more, but I cant help but feel " cheated " . I

> > accepted the ds diagnosis. I was positive and dreamt of his bright future, I

> > did not however, think this would happen,

> > It has been a year since his dx, but it still hurts. I still feel alone and

> > feel that I need to do more to help him. I am still a member of our local ds

> > group. They just sent me a link of pics from the ds meeting they attended in

> > Orlando. As I browsed the 200+ ics posted I first smiled seeing their

> > participation, but the smiles turned to tears...thinking to myself, " its not

> > fair " , " thats what I thought it would be like. I expected delays but I also

> > expected him to be part of a special group, one who he could bond and feel a

> > part of. I dod not expect him to prefer to be alone in his dark closet

> > rather than playing with his sibligs. I did not expect to miss his smile and

> > warm eyes, the connection....

> > What is hard is not being able to voice me feelings with anyone, Rather

> > keeping them bottled pretending to be strong only to crumble into sobs at

> > night when everyone is asleep. This is when I think, :its not fair " \

> > Thanks to all who read this. Sorry it was so long but if I cant talk, themn

> > at least I write...I need to just....sigh and let it ou.

> > Good night to all and God bless....

> > Jenn

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >