RE: - the neighborhood experience

[Guest guest]

Just to chime in on the whole neighborhood experience - it seems to me to be

highly over-rated. I wanted my kids to fit into the neighborhood and have

friend next door etc.. Our experience has been that 80 per cent of the

time, the kids in the neighborhood are really mean to my kids. Probably

because when kids are out and about in the neighborhood there isn't any

parental supervision. When I gave up on the idea of my kids playing with

other children from the neighborhood and found other places for them to play

we were all so much happier. I think both boys but especially Isaac saw

other kids out and at first he wanted to join them but even when they came

to our yard, they would wait until I went into the house and were just

..mean. They would try to get them to say cuss words or other such

ridiculous stuff. At 13 Isaac understands that most of his activities are

away from the home anyway. Tony at 11 is still working on it.

Also, Isaac is very " Aspergerish " and he used to call the kids at school or

on his soccer team friends even though these kids made no effort to be

friends that called him up or invited him places. At first I really felt

bad for him but then I realized that this was a level of friendship that he

could tolerate. Not friends really but kids to be friendly with. He would

like the idea of going to someone else's house but only for about ten

minutes and then he would want to be home where it is safe and he knows what

to do.

We are such nerds at our house. We do not have wii or Nintendo or anything

like that. We play sports (you can go to the school yard for this), we

read, Isaac's new hobby is drawing and coloring mandalas, he plays his

Cluefinders computer games (and has almost made his way through Cluefinders

6th grade all by himself). Tony has his iPod and his puzzles. They like

GOING to an organized activity where kids get to play and they like having

kids over but they don't feel safe yet on their own. Isaac especially needs

someone to set limits for him to feel safe.

Sorry, this is long winded. I just wanted to say that if knows he

can't handle some social situations, he might not desire them as much as a

kid who was competent in these areas. So it's okay to find alternatives

such as programs and even a school that is away from the neighborhood.

I do like hearing about all four of your kids. Two just about does me in.

Lori

Mom to Isaac 13, and Tony 11

_____

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

Of charlyne1121@...

Sent: Monday, April 26, 2010 9:12 AM

To:

Subject: Re:

,

I completely agree with your advocate. You really need to see these private

programs in action. The public school just cannot meet 's needs, will

insist that they are but all you will get is lip service. is a unique

child with an exceptionality that needs to be embraced and developed. A

private school has more flexibility to customize a program that would

actually meet his needs. Would it matter if he had good friends that lived a

few miles away rather than neighborhood kids that pretended to be his friend

only to make fun of him? You need to be proactive for 's well being.

Call these private schools and set up appointments to observe. I would bet

that you will find a perfect fit and actually see how poor the public school

services actually are.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 17 DS

Hi, Everyone.... ..... ..I started off being very 'pro inclusive' when

Gareth only had the DS dx. When the Autism dx was added and we learned the

reasons for his behaviors then, the IEP changed accordingly. I really do

believe that even with the autism, IF your child can handle a regular

classroom, that inclusion is great in the early years when other kids are

more

open to 'different' children and befriend everyone. Gareth learned so much

from K-5 grade and the kids were great. You do need the right 1:1

supports/modified curriculum, etc. He went into Autistic support classes

when they

started changing classrooms in middle school --- he just couldn't handle

that with the banging lockers, squealing pre-teens, ringing hall bells, etc.

Like Charlyne said, go and tour the other schools. In a way, it's nice

that your district is offering such a selection --- most wouldn't bother.

The main downside to that, though, is that his current friends won't be

there and his new friends won't be in his neighborhood after school.

Take care, Everyone.

Margaret