Re: Stimming/ crowds - Cathy

[Guest guest]

Thanks !  I often consider getting a babysitter for Amy or staying home

with her myself (I don't really care to go to my husband's family event anyway)

but then guilt always takes over.  I feel bad for not including her in family

things.  My other kids will always ask why Amy isn't coming etc.  Plus, I always

wonder if I don't try to get her to go to things then she will never get used to

crowds or loud noises but not sure if this is true.

 

I hear you on entertaining.   Amy usually does quite well at our own house

because she will just go to the basement and hang out and then is fine because

she is familiar with it.  However, I usually wait until I know she will be at

the respite house for a weekend and then I plan to have people over because it

is just easier to do it then.

 

Amy doesn't do the barf thing.  That is quite smart of Darwyn to notice that if

he barfs he gets to leave!!  Amy will just stim a lot and sometimes cry.

 

Thanks for letting me know that there are others out there that have the same

problem!!

 

Ali

Subject: Re: Stimming/ crowds

To:

Received: Monday, April 12, 2010, 12:35 PM

Hi Ali,

Darwyn is the same. Hates crowds and takes at least a day to recover after a big

family event.  We sometimes just don't take him, especially as he sometimes

starts biting us when he has a crowd inflicted upon him. My NT daughter and I

went to Christmas while husband and Darwyn stayed home. That was okay because we

don't really celebrate Christmas  so husband kind of relieved to avoid the crowd

too! 

But Darwyn has also learned a trick to get out of a crowd. He starts to gag and

then barfs. Amazingly effective. When we have a crowd at our home even just a

few people over for dinner, he gets to eat early and then go upstairs and watch

a DVD. This is since he barfed all over a table full of food. He likes to clear

tables so I guess a fully laden table is just horrid for his brain to process. 

Probably one of the first indicators of his autism was that whenever we went to

a restaurant he would yell and tremble when food came to the table. Then he

started trying to clear our table and other's too. Needless to say he doesn't

get to go to restaurants much anymore. 

I definitely think it helps if there is a quiet space to escape to. Or take a

portable DVD player. My parents have a plasma TV and he learned that if you

whack it, it makes cool colours. Not so good.

Not sure this is helpful, but you are definitley not alone with the family

gathering angst.  The truth is that they make him miserable. 

Mom to Darwyn age 5 DS ASD

, Canada

Stimming

Hi Everyone

 

We had the first birthday part for my nephew on Saturday.  Their house is a

little on the small side and there were about 20 kids running around all over

the place.  Amy was a little out of sorts and really starting stimming again. 

By stimming I mean watching her fingers over and over again, pacing back and

forth, waving her hand constantly.  I took her upstairs to a quiet room to help

settle her and it seemed to work until we came back down. 

 

Yesterday she was still really out of sorts.  She didn't want to sit with me at

all.  I couldn't engage her in any activities that she would normally do.  All

she wanted to do was watch tv.  I decided that maybe she just needed to unwind

by herself so I let her even though I hate letting her watch tv all day.  I did

keep trying her throughout the day but nothing.

 

This morning she seems to be a little better but her finger is still going wild

while she watches it.

 

So, I am just wondering if anyone else's child does this when they get around

too many people?  Is there anything I can do to help prevent this from

happening?  My husband has a large family and I just find that every time we all

get together it is too much for her and she suffers for a day or two after.  I

don't want to miss out on family events nor do I want her to so I'm not sure

what I can do for her. 

 

Thanks

 

Ali, mom to Amy 6 DS/ASD, 5 and Olivia 3

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