To ALL my family, with gratitude, and love......

[Guest guest]

Greetings....As I write this....there are tears in my eyes.I NEVER realized I

HAD so many friends!

Naw....I am NOT going to quit...as a matter of fact I am going to EXPAND my

list, to include some of you who HAVEN'T been on the recieving end of this

peaceful ol' hippie's " outlook on the world, and humor concerning it! All I can

say, to that couple is... " I fart in your general direction!! " HA!

As a matter of fact, I'll start now!

D A D ....Dad...COULD start with Dad and Drinking! Ha! Now,

MY dad could REALLY do some drinking!

I have done some memorial bouts with the evil devil " drink " ( go, you

prohihibihtionists! haha)

This ol ' drunk walks into a Catholic Church, wanders around for a

bit, then finally opens the door to the confessional, and sits down. The little

door opens, and a voice, deep, and rich comes from the opening, and asks " May I

help you, my son? "

Well, the drunk looks around, finds the source of the voice and says "

Yeah, ya got any paper on your side? " haha!

Then there's these two drunks who are stumbling around, falling down,

and crawling , finally, on this set of rail road tracks...the one drunk says to

the other " man, these steps are KILLING me! " .....Well, the OTHER drunk says " ,

Yeah, well, it's not the steps that are bothering me....it's these darn low hand

rails! " .....

My wife refuses to take me with her to the grocerie store any

more....seems I always " embarress " her. How am I supposed to know it's not cool

to attract a crowd by juggleing oranges? She says if she ever can't find me, she

just looks for the oranges going up and down in the air!

You've heard of " M.A.D.? Mothers against Drunk Driving? It REALLY IS a

good idea, but I just can't seem to let well enough alone...I really GOT this

shirt that says " D.A.M.M. " .... " .Drunks against Mad Mothers "

I had to promise Tammy I wouldn't wear it to the store anymore!

The other day was the " last straw " , so she says.....Well, heck, I seen this

lady kneeling down in front of the eggs, and she's got this carton open, an'

she's looking at it.......so I went and kneeled down beside's her, grabbed a

carton , opened it, and said to this lady " Hi! ....What are we looking for? "

Well, after Tammy grabbed me by the collar, and hauled me up, she said

" that's IT! " ( I bet it aint, tho, hahaha!)

She got this hat( I LOVE hats, and try and collect them...I got a few

from VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE, and they mean the world to me)....anyway , this hat

had a plastic envelope in it so you can display your fishing license in

it......she got on the computer, and printed a note to go into the

envelope....REALLY! SWEAR TO GOD I GOT THIS THING.....and the note says " Help!

If I appear to be lost, please call my wife at 242-4371 "

She makes me wear it. now when we go out...just

can't figure out why! Huh!

I LOVE you aalll and I thank you! You

all mean so much to me! I rally mean that! All my love....ken...and thank you!

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