Re: To The Whole Group:

[Guest guest]

Dear Barb,

It's wonderful that you can write poetry to help deal

with the stress of your illness. I like to make

collages. Cutting and gluing seems to help get my

mind off some of the pain sometimes, and it feels good

to be creative. Being in pain can be very hard on a

marriage, especially if you're like me and tend to

clam up when you're hurting. My husband (unlike most)

is very talkative and is a morning person he likes to

start the day telling me all his problems and

discussing business. Now that I have so much trouble

getting going in the morning, with all the pain and

stiffness, I tend to just wish he'd SHUT UP. I try to

still be there for him, but I don't always succeed and

he gets hurt. He's a nice guy and doesn't deserve it,

but I'm struggling. We're working on it and I'm sure

we'll find new ways of communicating. I hope you and

your husband are able to work it out. The problem

wtih chronic pain is that it invades every part of

your life. Maybe you could write him some poems to

help him understand. Good luck with your MRI results.

--- sassyone3173 <bdciesinski@...> wrote:

> Dear Group,

>

> I am so glad u enjoyed the poem that I wrote. Thank

> you kindly for

> your compliments on it. If anyone is interested in

> more poems that i

> have written please email me and I will share them

> with you. Like I

> said before it is a great way for me to share my

> feelings. Sometimes

> coping with chronic pain and fatigue can take an

> emotional toll. I

> have been writing poetry since I was in 5th grade. I

> hope everyone is

> hanging in there ok. I am still waiting on the

> results of my MRI. I

> am

> supposed to call for the results on Wednesday.

> Question, Has anyone

> else found that being sick has taken it's toll on

> your marriage?? It

> has on mine. Were you able to get through it or did

> you end up

> splitting up? If you did stay together how did you

> make it through?

> So

> many things are so crazy for me right now.

>

> Barb 3173

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dear Barb,

It's wonderful that you can write poetry to help deal

with the stress of your illness. I like to make

collages. Cutting and gluing seems to help get my

mind off some of the pain sometimes, and it feels good

to be creative. Being in pain can be very hard on a

marriage, especially if you're like me and tend to

clam up when you're hurting. My husband (unlike most)

is very talkative and is a morning person he likes to

start the day telling me all his problems and

discussing business. Now that I have so much trouble

getting going in the morning, with all the pain and

stiffness, I tend to just wish he'd SHUT UP. I try to

still be there for him, but I don't always succeed and

he gets hurt. He's a nice guy and doesn't deserve it,

but I'm struggling. We're working on it and I'm sure

we'll find new ways of communicating. I hope you and

your husband are able to work it out. The problem

wtih chronic pain is that it invades every part of

your life. Maybe you could write him some poems to

help him understand. Good luck with your MRI results.

--- sassyone3173 <bdciesinski@...> wrote:

> Dear Group,

>

> I am so glad u enjoyed the poem that I wrote. Thank

> you kindly for

> your compliments on it. If anyone is interested in

> more poems that i

> have written please email me and I will share them

> with you. Like I

> said before it is a great way for me to share my

> feelings. Sometimes

> coping with chronic pain and fatigue can take an

> emotional toll. I

> have been writing poetry since I was in 5th grade. I

> hope everyone is

> hanging in there ok. I am still waiting on the

> results of my MRI. I

> am

> supposed to call for the results on Wednesday.

> Question, Has anyone

> else found that being sick has taken it's toll on

> your marriage?? It

> has on mine. Were you able to get through it or did

> you end up

> splitting up? If you did stay together how did you

> make it through?

> So

> many things are so crazy for me right now.

>

> Barb 3173

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dear Barb,

Being sick has affected our marriage, but in a GOOD way. Probably

because my husband and I are older--he is 68 (tomorrow!) and I am 59,

so maybe that makes a difference. And we have been married 29 years,

so when we got married we were both ready to make it a lifetime

commitment. He has always honored his wedding vows, and the promise

that the minister had us both make, to never make each other cry.

We go with each other to doctors' appointments, and into the examining

room as well--that way he can hear exactly what the doctor is telling

me and what I am telling or asking the doctor, and vice versa. We are

both involved in each other's illnesses (he has Parkinson's, dx 3 years

ago) and we each take an active interest in each other's illness. When

he has an " off " day, I take up the slack, and if I have to spend the

day on the couch, he waits on me. Sometimes we're both down on the

same day, but we try not to make any demands on the other, and just sit

and watch movies or read. I always have plenty of ready-made meals in

the freezer, or just cheese & crackers for a light meal, so it is easy

for him to prepare.

But I think the bottom line is the " better or worse " thing--we have

better times and we have worse times, and we are there for each other.

You may have to remind hubby of that, and tell him that you didn't set

out to be sick, it came to you. He needs to reassess his values and

understand that you are still the woman he married, just with different

needs right now.

OK, off my soap box, but I wanted to let you know that it can work.

Peace to you,

Judi

[Guest guest]

Dear Barb,

Being sick has affected our marriage, but in a GOOD way. Probably

because my husband and I are older--he is 68 (tomorrow!) and I am 59,

so maybe that makes a difference. And we have been married 29 years,

so when we got married we were both ready to make it a lifetime

commitment. He has always honored his wedding vows, and the promise

that the minister had us both make, to never make each other cry.

We go with each other to doctors' appointments, and into the examining

room as well--that way he can hear exactly what the doctor is telling

me and what I am telling or asking the doctor, and vice versa. We are

both involved in each other's illnesses (he has Parkinson's, dx 3 years

ago) and we each take an active interest in each other's illness. When

he has an " off " day, I take up the slack, and if I have to spend the

day on the couch, he waits on me. Sometimes we're both down on the

same day, but we try not to make any demands on the other, and just sit

and watch movies or read. I always have plenty of ready-made meals in

the freezer, or just cheese & crackers for a light meal, so it is easy

for him to prepare.

But I think the bottom line is the " better or worse " thing--we have

better times and we have worse times, and we are there for each other.

You may have to remind hubby of that, and tell him that you didn't set

out to be sick, it came to you. He needs to reassess his values and

understand that you are still the woman he married, just with different

needs right now.

OK, off my soap box, but I wanted to let you know that it can work.

Peace to you,

Judi

[Guest guest]

Barb I have been very lucky my husband has just been great through everything

and supports me on anything. when I started talking about doing a waterfast

it was complete foreign to both of us but the more I researched the more sense

it made to me even though it was something he did not feel like he could or

would do he complete supported me in my decision. I have had more negetive

remarks from one of my sons than anyone, even when I could not walk without

holding

on to the wall he said he has been told that its a very managable illness you

dont want to know what I told him after about the 3rd. time of being told how

managable it was LOL

[Guest guest]

Barb I have been very lucky my husband has just been great through everything

and supports me on anything. when I started talking about doing a waterfast

it was complete foreign to both of us but the more I researched the more sense

it made to me even though it was something he did not feel like he could or

would do he complete supported me in my decision. I have had more negetive

remarks from one of my sons than anyone, even when I could not walk without

holding

on to the wall he said he has been told that its a very managable illness you

dont want to know what I told him after about the 3rd. time of being told how

managable it was LOL

[Guest guest]

Dear Judi,

Amen! You are exactly correct, marriage is sharing the everyday ups, down,

illness and joys that makes it work. We are both 57 and have been married 33

years. It isn't easy, it is work, but truly the rewards are great.

Take Care

Gentle Hugs & Prayers,

Carol M. in CA

[Guest guest]

Dear Judi,

Amen! You are exactly correct, marriage is sharing the everyday ups, down,

illness and joys that makes it work. We are both 57 and have been married 33

years. It isn't easy, it is work, but truly the rewards are great.

Take Care

Gentle Hugs & Prayers,

Carol M. in CA