Re: 's behavior

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/7/2010 9:08:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

gldcst@... writes:

Judy,

I know Charlyne will be of most help but what strikes me immediately is

" lately " ?? How lately? and for how long? You should have been notified of

behviors like this the very first time they occurred (I, as a non schooling

parent, would think). Do they have each instance of pushing, hitting,

kicking, biting, lying on the floor documented and are they prepared to explain

to

you exactly what happened before, during, and after these behaviors? I can

certainly see why you're upset. Something's very wrong at school. Poor

kiddo.

(So glad you're still with us)

Sherry

Dear Mr/Mrs. Keller,

I am concerned about 's behavior. He has been very violent in class

lately. He has pushed, hit, kicked, and tried to bite staff members. He

lies on the floor the entire day and only gets up to eat or use the

bathroom. We needed assistance from the male V.P. to get him off of the

floor

because of his resistance to listen. This is new behavior and I was

wondering

if you could help me teach your son. Thank you, Mrs.....

Thank you for your response, Sherry. This is exactly why we are alarmed

and upset because this seems to have gone on for a while and it is so out of

character for . I will ask the teacher to give me details of the

activities of the days and see if there was anything that would create a

problem like this. I don't know, but there could be a change in staff that may

upset him, or even something as insignificant to them, but crucial to ,

in a change of the daily plans. Judy

[Guest guest]

Judy,

I know Charlyne will be of most help but what strikes me immediately is

" lately " ?? How lately? and for how long? You should have been notified of

behviors like this the very first time they occurred (I, as a non schooling

parent, would think). Do they have each instance of pushing, hitting, kicking,

biting, lying on the floor documented and are they prepared to explain to you

exactly what happened before, during, and after these behaviors? I can certainly

see why you're upset. Something's very wrong at school. Poor kiddo.

(So glad you're still with us)

Sherry

Dear Mr/Mrs. Keller,

I am concerned about 's behavior. He has been very violent in class

lately. He has pushed, hit, kicked, and tried to bite staff members. He

lies on the floor the entire day and only gets up to eat or use the

bathroom. We needed assistance from the male V.P. to get him off of the floor

because of his resistance to listen. This is new behavior and I was wondering

if you could help me teach your son. Thank you, Mrs.....

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

If this was a new class situation and the beginning of the year,

September,October, maybe but not in February. Red flags are shooting out of this

note. I agree with your husband. You should have been notified of this behavior

on day one, in fact, you should have had daily communication detailing

's school days from the very beginning of the school year. The teacher is

offended, what about how Keven feels? Are his feeling not considered?  His

resistance to listening? The teacher has not engaged him with curriculum that

has meaning to him. The teacher wants you to help her teach him?  She must

have the skills to meet her students needs. If she is already offended then a

meeting may not help but you could try. I also would set up an IEP meeting

immediately to address the need for an independent consultant to observe in the

classroom, train the teacher and make the necessary modifications to 's

program. The lifeskills program may be new

and yes it may not be the best the first year but a program is always a work

in progress. Excuses from school personnel is not acceptable.

Charlyne ---

 

Subject: 's behavior

To:

Date: Sunday, February 7, 2010, 8:36 PM

 

Hi,

Sorry it takes me so long to get back to the list. My sons and grandsons

are always on WOW and I have to wait my turn. As for the situation with

, remember that we were not told anything until Thursday.

Here is the note my husband received from 's teacher that started the

phone call, where my husband called 's teacher. I was at work and

can't get away without a major shift in staff, which lately has been

impossible, nor can I talk on a cell phone while with the children. I better not

get sick!

Dear Mr/Mrs. Keller,

I am concerned about 's behavior. He has been very violent in class

lately. He has pushed, hit, kicked, and tried to bite staff members. He

lies on the floor the entire day and only gets up to eat or use the

bathroom. We needed assistance from the male V.P. to get him off of the floor

because of his resistance to listen. This is new behavior and I was wondering

if you could help me teach your son. Thank you, Mrs.....

My husband called the teacher as soon as he read the note. This was

Thursday. We had never been told that there was a problem with . Larry,

the hubby, was very mad and told the teacher that in all the years of

school, we had never had a problem with 's behavior. The teacher said she

was offended that he said this. This is the first year a Life Skills class

has been in this district. I assume there will be " bugs " to work out. I

am much more forgiving of this whole thing. My husband on the other hand,

believes that someone is really messing with . I have told him that

is surely a different kid at school, where he is challenged more than

he is at home. I guess I don't have to say my husband is old fashioned in

thinking.

I'm going to write the teacher a note. Any suggestions? I don't want to

blame her for anything. I know that can be a handful if things don't

go his way. We, fortunately, have not had to butt heads with him and can

always get him to refocus. I don't know what they were doing that caused

his behavior. The day before this I received a note from the Employment

Transition Specialist and she made no mention of his behavior with her.

I hope I'm clear here. I'm writing this quickly. Thanks for listening.

Judy

[Guest guest]

Dear Judy,

Ok, it happened to me again. I posted a reply to your other post before I saw

this one. Sigh.

Charlene IS the resident school system expert & offers much that can assist you.

Something similar happened to us last year in 8th grade. We were somewhat

" sucker punched " with notes regarding our son's behavoir immediately after

Christmas break. At no time in all his school years had there been any reports

regarding behavoir issues. It was very alarming to us as well because of HOW it

was relayed to us.

Since you know your hubby I hesitate to disagree, but it is very possible that

your hubby's response has some validity. In our case, we were initially alarmed

& confused.

Unfortunately, what followed caused us both to become angry & very watchful.

That says alot because my hubby & I are those mellow very laid back types. And

I had been a successful advocate my entire life-without showing anger.

Snort-that disappeared for me the rest of the year.

I am sharing this in the hopes that you can avoid our experience & the dominoe

effect that resulted.

It is very important to call a formal meeting that is documented to discuss the

issues they are having & determine why these things are happening & why you were

not notified prior to this last incident.

Make it clear that you are interested in working as part of a team so that the

school staff does not feel under attack. Then together work out a plan.

It will not help anything to just talk to the teacher informally about this

incident. However, as opposed to our experience, at least your teacher asked

for your help. Which is a good sign in that respect.

In our situation, because I knew what our emotional state (anger) continued to

be, we hired a professional advocate (who was also a behavoir specilaist with

decades of teaching severe behavoir disorders) to attend the later multiple IEP

meetings. Basically so I would not get arrested for assault. Heh-just kidding.

You do not want it to reach this point nor let this event color the rest of your

school years.

Every situation & district is different. Ours involved a brand new teacher that

only had resource experience yet volunteered for the moderate-severe class.

Ahem, a class that had 2 aides & a max of 4-5 students at any time. That

dictated (or tried)instead of listen. And who we feel misunderstood/caused

and/or escalated the alleged behavoiral situation that occurred.

You know your kiddo. If this is unusual behavoir, this is a flag that something

somewhere is wrong. It was for us-because we know our child. Aside from trying

to get a complete picture from the staff, we also had DJ checked medically to

make sure something was not amiss in that area. It is a relief & interesting to

us that there was never another repeat of what was described nor has he

exhibited any negative behavoirs in his new school setting this year.

Stay as calm as possible & know that you are your child's expert. It might not

be as bad as it sounds. Ours turned out to not be-but things escalated as the

result of teacher subjective attitude.

Have a plan-talk to Charlene & feel free to email me. Take time to get past any

emotions before you follow up with the school. Hopefully, DJ's teacher from

last year did not move to your school (joking).

Hugs again,

Kris

>

> Hi,

> Sorry it takes me so long to get back to the list. My sons and grandsons

> are always on WOW and I have to wait my turn. As for the situation with

> , remember that we were not told anything until Thursday.

>

> Here is the note my husband received from 's teacher that started the

> phone call, where my husband called 's teacher. I was at work and

> can't get away without a major shift in staff, which lately has been

> impossible, nor can I talk on a cell phone while with the children. I better

not

> get sick!

>

> Dear Mr/Mrs. Keller,

> I am concerned about 's behavior. He has been very violent in class

> lately. He has pushed, hit, kicked, and tried to bite staff members. He

> lies on the floor the entire day and only gets up to eat or use the

> bathroom. We needed assistance from the male V.P. to get him off of the

floor

> because of his resistance to listen. This is new behavior and I was

wondering

> if you could help me teach your son. Thank you, Mrs.....

>

> My husband called the teacher as soon as he read the note. This was

> Thursday. We had never been told that there was a problem with .

Larry,

> the hubby, was very mad and told the teacher that in all the years of

> school, we had never had a problem with 's behavior. The teacher said

she

> was offended that he said this. This is the first year a Life Skills class

> has been in this district. I assume there will be " bugs " to work out. I

> am much more forgiving of this whole thing. My husband on the other hand,

> believes that someone is really messing with . I have told him that

> is surely a different kid at school, where he is challenged more than

> he is at home. I guess I don't have to say my husband is old fashioned in

> thinking.

>

> I'm going to write the teacher a note. Any suggestions? I don't want to

> blame her for anything. I know that can be a handful if things don't

> go his way. We, fortunately, have not had to butt heads with him and can

> always get him to refocus. I don't know what they were doing that caused

> his behavior. The day before this I received a note from the Employment

> Transition Specialist and she made no mention of his behavior with her.

>

> I hope I'm clear here. I'm writing this quickly. Thanks for listening.

> Judy

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Judy, Maybe in Life skills if they are teaching putting on lotion he hates that.

My son would never tolerate putting on lotion. Also if they are teaching him to

dress or undress maybe he is like my son and will only do this at home. My son

will not try on clothes in a dressing room. I will say this Charlyne has been a

tremendous help to me with my sons school district and the issues I have had

this year. I have been trying for years to get the school to help me with my

sons behaviors but was told he never acts bad at school. My question to them was

then why do you send me notes home saying my son hit his head on the floor, did

a stop, drop, and flop, and would not leave the Gym. We are getting an ABA

therapist to come to the school and work with my son staff etc. Oh ya it is not

pretty and the district is taking their sweet time but none of this would be

possible without Charlynes help. The advocate agengies here has left me hanging

and you really need an advocate to help. Charlyne is wonderful. Cyndi B

>

> Hi,

> Sorry it takes me so long to get back to the list. My sons and grandsons

> are always on WOW and I have to wait my turn. As for the situation with

> , remember that we were not told anything until Thursday.

>

> Here is the note my husband received from 's teacher that started the

> phone call, where my husband called 's teacher. I was at work and

> can't get away without a major shift in staff, which lately has been

> impossible, nor can I talk on a cell phone while with the children. I better

not

> get sick!

>

> Dear Mr/Mrs. Keller,

> I am concerned about 's behavior. He has been very violent in class

> lately. He has pushed, hit, kicked, and tried to bite staff members. He

> lies on the floor the entire day and only gets up to eat or use the

> bathroom. We needed assistance from the male V.P. to get him off of the

floor

> because of his resistance to listen. This is new behavior and I was

wondering

> if you could help me teach your son. Thank you, Mrs.....

>

> My husband called the teacher as soon as he read the note. This was

> Thursday. We had never been told that there was a problem with .

Larry,

> the hubby, was very mad and told the teacher that in all the years of

> school, we had never had a problem with 's behavior. The teacher said

she

> was offended that he said this. This is the first year a Life Skills class

> has been in this district. I assume there will be " bugs " to work out. I

> am much more forgiving of this whole thing. My husband on the other hand,

> believes that someone is really messing with . I have told him that

> is surely a different kid at school, where he is challenged more than

> he is at home. I guess I don't have to say my husband is old fashioned in

> thinking.

>

> I'm going to write the teacher a note. Any suggestions? I don't want to

> blame her for anything. I know that can be a handful if things don't

> go his way. We, fortunately, have not had to butt heads with him and can

> always get him to refocus. I don't know what they were doing that caused

> his behavior. The day before this I received a note from the Employment

> Transition Specialist and she made no mention of his behavior with her.

>

> I hope I'm clear here. I'm writing this quickly. Thanks for listening.

> Judy

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

IS this an IU class being run in the S/D? This means if it is, that the

school district is [urchasing this class and the teacahers from the IU. If

this is true, you have 2 entities ti work with. I would call and IEP

meeting to 'fine tune your son's IEp. Like your dh, I would be suspicioous

of any sudden change. My son took out a 250lb 6 ft plus teachers aid one

day (punched him in the stomach and the guy landed on his rump).Of course

the school reported no antecedent. TWO YEARS later I found out that this

man had pulled Elie's hair, pinched him, shoved him and generally bullied

him - with no reaction from Elie until he 'had enough " . BUT the incident

helped me when Irequested a move to an APS.

>

>

> Hi,

> Sorry it takes me so long to get back to the list. My sons and grandsons

> are always on WOW and I have to wait my turn. As for the situation with

> , remember that we were not told anything until Thursday.

>

> Here is the note my husband received from 's teacher that started the

> phone call, where my husband called 's teacher. I was at work and

> can't get away without a major shift in staff, which lately has been

> impossible, nor can I talk on a cell phone while with the children. I

> better not

> get sick!

>

> Dear Mr/Mrs. Keller,

> I am concerned about 's behavior. He has been very violent in class

> lately. He has pushed, hit, kicked, and tried to bite staff members. He

> lies on the floor the entire day and only gets up to eat or use the

> bathroom. We needed assistance from the male V.P. to get him off of the

> floor

> because of his resistance to listen. This is new behavior and I was

> wondering

> if you could help me teach your son. Thank you, Mrs.....

>

> My husband called the teacher as soon as he read the note. This was

> Thursday. We had never been told that there was a problem with .

> Larry,

> the hubby, was very mad and told the teacher that in all the years of

> school, we had never had a problem with 's behavior. The teacher said

> she

> was offended that he said this. This is the first year a Life Skills class

> has been in this district. I assume there will be " bugs " to work out. I

> am much more forgiving of this whole thing. My husband on the other hand,

> believes that someone is really messing with . I have told him that

> is surely a different kid at school, where he is challenged more than

>

> he is at home. I guess I don't have to say my husband is old fashioned in

> thinking.

>

> I'm going to write the teacher a note. Any suggestions? I don't want to

> blame her for anything. I know that can be a handful if things don't

> go his way. We, fortunately, have not had to butt heads with him and can

> always get him to refocus. I don't know what they were doing that caused

> his behavior. The day before this I received a note from the Employment

> Transition Specialist and she made no mention of his behavior with her.

>

> I hope I'm clear here. I'm writing this quickly. Thanks for listening.

> Judy

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son is now 25 and has attended both private and public school. I also know

that the schools will not always tell the parents the exact reason leading up to

a new behaviour. Please request a IEP meeting and Discuss a BIP (behaviour

intervention plan)> I had one for Josh and according to the plan had to be

notified almost imediately if any violent behaviour occurred. If you ask for the

information in a non- threating manor and tell them you need the facts so that

you can better understand what happened you can sometimes get a picture of the

incident. I would also see if you can get a communications book started to find

out what happens from day to day. Josh had several incidents at both public and

prvate schools that should never have happened. There should also be more than

one teacher assitant if the class size is over 3 students. Our school district

had a 3 to 1 ratio that is 1 assistant for evry 3 students. Even now that Josh

attends and adult day program the same ratio applies and the same BIP

instruction is in place. I know as I am first contact on the list. I also know

how you feel as I am very aware the my son will never be able to live without

constant supervision.

Wayne N Kromer (60) PWD2

dad to

26 Down syndrome

25 Down syndrome ,PDD-NOS,OCD,GERD

town Pa

>

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> > Sorry it takes me so long to get back to the list. My sons and grandsons

> > are always on WOW and I have to wait my turn. As for the situation with

> > , remember that we were not told anything until Thursday.

> >

> > Here is the note my husband received from 's teacher that started the

> > phone call, where my husband called 's teacher. I was at work and

> > can't get away without a major shift in staff, which lately has been

> > impossible, nor can I talk on a cell phone while with the children. I

> > better not

> > get sick!

> >

> > Dear Mr/Mrs. Keller,

> > I am concerned about 's behavior. He has been very violent in class

> > lately. He has pushed, hit, kicked, and tried to bite staff members. He

> > lies on the floor the entire day and only gets up to eat or use the

> > bathroom. We needed assistance from the male V.P. to get him off of the

> > floor

> > because of his resistance to listen. This is new behavior and I was

> > wondering

> > if you could help me teach your son. Thank you, Mrs.....

> >

> > My husband called the teacher as soon as he read the note. This was

> > Thursday. We had never been told that there was a problem with .

> > Larry,

> > the hubby, was very mad and told the teacher that in all the years of

> > school, we had never had a problem with 's behavior. The teacher said

> > she

> > was offended that he said this. This is the first year a Life Skills class

> > has been in this district. I assume there will be " bugs " to work out. I

> > am much more forgiving of this whole thing. My husband on the other hand,

> > believes that someone is really messing with . I have told him that

> > is surely a different kid at school, where he is challenged more than

> >

> > he is at home. I guess I don't have to say my husband is old fashioned in

> > thinking.

> >

> > I'm going to write the teacher a note. Any suggestions? I don't want to

> > blame her for anything. I know that can be a handful if things don't

> > go his way. We, fortunately, have not had to butt heads with him and can

> > always get him to refocus. I don't know what they were doing that caused

> > his behavior. The day before this I received a note from the Employment

> > Transition Specialist and she made no mention of his behavior with her.

> >

> > I hope I'm clear here. I'm writing this quickly. Thanks for listening.

> > Judy

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Would it also be helpful to get an FBA (functional behavior assessment)?? This

way at least someone is trying to figure out the antecedent and consequence.

Sent from my iPhone

My son is now 25 and has attended both private and public school. I also know

that the schools will not always tell the parents the exact reason leading up to

a new behaviour. Please request a IEP meeting and Discuss a BIP (behaviour

intervention plan)> I had one for Josh and according to the plan had to be

notified almost imediately if any violent behaviour occurred. If you ask for the

information in a non- threating manor and tell them you need the facts so that

you can better understand what happened you can sometimes get a picture of the

incident. I would also see if you can get a communications book started to find

out what happens from day to day. Josh had several incidents at both public and

prvate schools that should never have happened. There should also be more than

one teacher assitant if the class size is over 3 students. Our school district

had a 3 to 1 ratio that is 1 assistant for evry 3 students. Even now that Josh

attends and adult day

program the same ratio applies and the same BIP instruction is in place. I know

as I am first contact on the list. I also know how you feel as I am very aware

the my son will never be able to live without constant supervision.

Wayne N Kromer (60) PWD2

dad to

26 Down syndrome

25 Down syndrome ,PDD-NOS,OCD,GERD

town Pa

>

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> > Sorry it takes me so long to get back to the list. My sons and grandsons

> > are always on WOW and I have to wait my turn. As for the situation with

> > , remember that we were not told anything until Thursday.

> >

> > Here is the note my husband received from 's teacher that started the

> > phone call, where my husband called 's teacher. I was at work and

> > can't get away without a major shift in staff, which lately has been

> > impossible, nor can I talk on a cell phone while with the children. I

> > better not

> > get sick!

> >

> > Dear Mr/Mrs. Keller,

> > I am concerned about 's behavior. He has been very violent in class

> > lately. He has pushed, hit, kicked, and tried to bite staff members. He

> > lies on the floor the entire day and only gets up to eat or use the

> > bathroom. We needed assistance from the male V.P. to get him off of the

> > floor

> > because of his resistance to listen. This is new behavior and I was

> > wondering

> > if you could help me teach your son. Thank you, Mrs.....

> >

> > My husband called the teacher as soon as he read the note. This was

> > Thursday. We had never been told that there was a problem with .

> > Larry,

> > the hubby, was very mad and told the teacher that in all the years of

> > school, we had never had a problem with 's behavior. The teacher said

> > she

> > was offended that he said this. This is the first year a Life Skills class

> > has been in this district. I assume there will be " bugs " to work out. I

> > am much more forgiving of this whole thing. My husband on the other hand,

> > believes that someone is really messing with . I have told him that

> > is surely a different kid at school, where he is challenged more than

> >

> > he is at home. I guess I don't have to say my husband is old fashioned in

> > thinking.

> >

> > I'm going to write the teacher a note. Any suggestions? I don't want to

> > blame her for anything. I know that can be a handful if things don't

> > go his way. We, fortunately, have not had to butt heads with him and can

> > always get him to refocus. I don't know what they were doing that caused

> > his behavior. The day before this I received a note from the Employment

> > Transition Specialist and she made no mention of his behavior with her.

> >

> > I hope I'm clear here. I'm writing this quickly. Thanks for listening.

> > Judy

> >

> >