Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 In a message dated 3/15/2010 6:46:42 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, kaprisock@... writes: Also, my thoughts are if our kiddos can be allowed to vote, then why can't they sign a DPOA??? Otherwise, this is a double standard in my eyes. Thanks for the info. The attorney said that a person " gives " POA, and that would have to understand that he was giving us this. He wouldn't understand it. can't write his name. He doesn't color or write and has used a stamp with his name on it for school. For SSI purposes, the intake person at our local office allowed to make a " mark " . had no clue what was going on, dangled Woody with the other hand, and the mark didn't mean a thing to anyone, except the government. I had to laugh though. The intake person never asked for ID from any of us. Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 In a message dated 3/15/2010 7:20:30 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, itcanfield@... writes: Nice to read the responses, thanks everyone. Y'all just great. Here in Texas it has been such a nightmare for many families who have been following through by being told once their individuals turn 18 y/o Thanks Irma and everyone else who has responded. As I read your post, were you saying that families have lost their over 18 yo kids because they tried to get guardianship? If so, we all need to find out what our own individual state's view is of this and get prepared. This is terrifying to say the least. Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 Kris hit the nail on the head and your attorney IS WRONG - yes they can be wrong. A person is assumed to be competent UNLESS someone goes to court and declares them incompetent. It troubles me that a lawyer who would like your money I am sure for a guardianship would give you this advice. I am not a lawyer. But I do understand what a power of attorney is. And as Kris said - durable is for ever unless the person signing revokes it. We need to re-do ours for the satae we now live in - meaning that a local notary needs to notarize it. We use our bank for that service and it is free. Like Kris, I still need to set up a special bnneeds trust, to be funded at our deaths, but I refuse to go to Atlanta to do this. MAybe Kris and I can buddy up and find one in our neck of the woods - what say you Kris?????? Therefore, if you get forms on line or buy them and fill them out so that they are appropriate for your case, and your son can make his mark, all the person notorizing is doing is attesting that this person made this mark. In no way is that person saying he is cometent to make that mark. HE needs some kind of picture ID - we > > > Hi Judy, > The following is what I know from experience with my mother who lived in > another state. > > I had to obtain a power of attorney specific for the state she lived in. I > chose to use the durable power of attorney because it was for her lifetime. > Regular power of attorney becomes void if she became mentally challenged, > etc. > > This DPOA enabled me to take care of her personal business, pay her bills, > deal with her bank as well as be given info from her insurance & health > providers. > > On top of this, I also had a (Health) Advanced Directive & Health Power of > Attorney done. > > It was my experience that none of the insurance beings would refuse to talk > to me without them having a copy. Same with bank, docs, etc. > > It was a nightmare at first because of the sudden need (she fell & broke > hip) & I was doing this out of state. I used forms purchased online & had > them notarized with witnesses as she signed them on her end. > > Understand that medicare & the military & bank & all healthcare entities > accepted these forms. So I personally have no qualms doing this for DJ or > any family member without an attorney based on my experience with my mother. > > I am still not clear about the whole guardianship thing for DJ & hope to > understand what to do when the time comes. I do know that I look ahead due > to my current ripe old age & want something(s) in place to protect him when > I no longer walk this world. If I am his guardian or his dad is & we > die-what then? So, I plan on trying to get that all covered somehow. Which > will entail seeing an attorney that specializes in special needs-for a > consult. > > Also, my thoughts are if our kiddos can be allowed to vote, then why can't > they sign a DPOA??? Otherwise, this is a double standard in my eyes. > > Hope this helps. > > Kris > > > > > > > Is there a difference in " durable power of attorney " than just " power of > > attorney " ? I asked a lawyer about getting power of attorney for , > who > > now is 18. He told me that unless can understand what he is giving > > me, that it can't be done. My son does not understand, so it is out of > the > > question for us. The attorney said that he could get in trouble if anyone > > > ever questioned 's ability to give power of attorney. He told us > that > > since is nonverbal and doesn't understand, that we would be the > ones > > who would be contacted in the event anything were to happen to (he > is > > never away from us except for school). He would not understand anything a > > > doctor were to tell him other than something very basic. As for > > guardianship, I just don't know. won't be voting. Is there any > other problem > > with guardianship? > > Judy > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 See if you could find another attorney who has dealt with this arena for a second opinion. Our attorney allowed my son to place a mark on the DPOA & right above my son's mark, sure matched the attorney's signature. Nice to read the responses, thanks everyone. Y'all just great. Here in Texas it has been such a nightmare for many families who have been following through by being told once their individuals turn 18 y/o. The families who I am aware of their Guardianship have been stripped away & sure been paying an arm & leg & they have no say. So, one of my friends has been pretty close to finding who in Texas could assist when there is Guardianship abuse, let's just say...No Rights! Violated Constitutional Rights. How can families have proof when they begin investigating on how to get their individuals back? There is no one here that will touch or have been able to help families. Then there is retaliation. This is part of what my friends & I have been working on lately but of course having to be caution here for our own. This has been a monstrous topic within the Guardianship topic. We have a corrupted system. My friends & attended a Guardianship Advisory Board Committee, guess what we were told? Guardianship is beautiful! Yea, right tell that to the families who no longer have their individuals. These families were only following what they have been told & they are no where the evil people. The meeting reminded me like the military recruits, it is about recruiting many individuals to seek Guardianship. Changes are needed here & remember our kiddos once one seek Guardianship are called " Ward " . Once upon a time Guardianship served for the parents protection but so far it is not happening. It is like walking on egg shells, such fear. Irma > > > > In a message dated 3/15/2010 6:46:42 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, > kaprisock@... <kaprisock%40yahoo.com> writes: > > Also, my thoughts are if our kiddos can be allowed to vote, then why can't > they sign a DPOA??? Otherwise, this is a double standard in my eyes. > > Thanks for the info. The attorney said that a person " gives " POA, and > that would have to understand that he was giving us this. He wouldn't > > understand it. can't write his name. He doesn't color or write and > has used a stamp with his name on it for school. For SSI purposes, the > intake person at our local office allowed to make a " mark " . had > no > clue what was going on, dangled Woody with the other hand, and the mark > didn't mean a thing to anyone, except the government. I had to laugh > though. > The intake person never asked for ID from any of us. Judy > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 It is rather a joke. I got Elie to 'give ' us his DPOA when he turned 18 .. Primarily I did it to stop the idiocy at school ASKING him questions about his IEp, plans after h/s, etc. And the hospital which refused to talk to me because he was of age!!! He signed his name (Elie prints his name and takes about half a page to do it altho he could write smaller if I give him a cut out to write in.). When we got his non-drivers drivers license he was automatically registered to vote which he has done several times. HE also has been called for jury duty - and we went, but he " opted out " of jury duty altho the clerk of courts ssaid he could be permanently excempted with a letter from his doc. We have not doen that. Considering some of the people serviing on juries, there may come a time when he will serve! And he is registered for selective service- altho he would be excempted if the draft calls, it his his civic right to sign up for the draft - and he did. And he votes with help - for those candidates we think will best serve his interests. > > > > In a message dated 3/15/2010 6:46:42 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, > kaprisock@... <kaprisock%40yahoo.com> writes: > > Also, my thoughts are if our kiddos can be allowed to vote, then why can't > they sign a DPOA??? Otherwise, this is a double standard in my eyes. > > Thanks for the info. The attorney said that a person " gives " POA, and > that would have to understand that he was giving us this. He wouldn't > > understand it. can't write his name. He doesn't color or write and > has used a stamp with his name on it for school. For SSI purposes, the > intake person at our local office allowed to make a " mark " . had > no > clue what was going on, dangled Woody with the other hand, and the mark > didn't mean a thing to anyone, except the government. I had to laugh > though. > The intake person never asked for ID from any of us. Judy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 Please grab you a cup a coffee or tea and take time to read this website: www.freenancy.com This is exactly what is happening to our families here in Texas. I read this last night or early this morning I guess i could say. Today, I am not trusting NO ONE in our local authorities, state or federal. This is just mind blowing. I just can't imagine surviving such an ordeal, not for myself, but what has been done to my child and having no control to stop it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 Irma - I have been leary of courts handling guardianship adftyer several elder abuse cases round the country - and the same issues apply for our sons and daughters. The less the court knows about my family the better. DPOA keeps everything in the family if you weant it that way - and we do. No bank or thrid party makes decisions regarding Elie except those of us who care for and about him. > See if you could find another attorney who has dealt with this arena for a > second opinion. > > Our attorney allowed my son to place a mark on the DPOA & right above my > son's mark, sure matched the attorney's signature. > > Nice to read the responses, thanks everyone. Y'all just great. > > Here in Texas it has been such a nightmare for many families who have been > following through by being told once their individuals turn 18 y/o. The > families who I am aware of their Guardianship have been stripped away & > sure > been paying an arm & leg & they have no say. > So, one of my friends has been pretty close to finding who in Texas could > assist when there is Guardianship abuse, let's just say...No Rights! > Violated Constitutional Rights. > How can families have proof when they begin investigating on how to get > their individuals back? There is no one here that will touch or have been > able to help families. Then there is retaliation. This is part of what my > friends & I have been working on lately but of course having to be caution > here for our own. This has been a monstrous topic within the Guardianship > topic. We have a corrupted system. > My friends & attended a Guardianship Advisory Board Committee, guess what > we > were told? Guardianship is beautiful! Yea, right tell that to the families > who no longer have their individuals. These families were only following > what they have been told & they are no where the evil people. The meeting > reminded me like the military recruits, it is about recruiting many > individuals to seek Guardianship. > Changes are needed here & remember our kiddos once one seek Guardianship > are > called " Ward " . > Once upon a time Guardianship served for the parents protection but so far > it is not happening. > It is like walking on egg shells, such fear. > > > Irma > > > > > > > > > > > In a message dated 3/15/2010 6:46:42 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, > > kaprisock@... <kaprisock%40yahoo.com> writes: > > > > Also, my thoughts are if our kiddos can be allowed to vote, then why > can't > > they sign a DPOA??? Otherwise, this is a double standard in my eyes. > > > > Thanks for the info. The attorney said that a person " gives " POA, and > > that would have to understand that he was giving us this. He > wouldn't > > > > understand it. can't write his name. He doesn't color or write and > > has used a stamp with his name on it for school. For SSI purposes, the > > intake person at our local office allowed to make a " mark " . > had > > no > > clue what was going on, dangled Woody with the other hand, and the mark > > didn't mean a thing to anyone, except the government. I had to laugh > > though. > > The intake person never asked for ID from any of us. Judy > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 I have read this and many cases like this. My aim in having a self directed program for Elie and DPOA is to precvent any contact with courts or ARC programs at all. For us, keeping Elie away form these people has been life rewarding. I can only encourage people all over this country to create circles of support thruout their communities to be aware oaf what is happening with their sons and daughters. Be aware of who visits and questions their care. Be aware of who has axes to grind. In our case, I worry about the state approved Community Services Board in the region where Elie lives and who briefly supervised his care in his placement with our choice of caregiver/friend. They did not do an adequate job and were fired. I still get letters from them (emails that is) asking if they can 'help' us with Elie's care. I do not answer. Soon Elie will be moving with his caregiver to another address which this agency does not know - partly so that they do not know !!!!! > > > Please grab you a cup a coffee or tea and take time to read this website: > www.freenancy.com > This is exactly what is happening to our families here in Texas. I read > this last night or early this morning I guess i could say. > Today, I am not trusting NO ONE in our local authorities, state or federal. > This is just mind blowing. I just can't imagine surviving such an ordeal, > not for myself, but what has been done to my child and having no control to > stop it. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2010 Report Share Posted March 15, 2010 > > > Thanks Irma and everyone else who has responded. As I read your post, > were you saying that families have lost their over 18 yo kids because they > tried to get guardianship? If so, we all need to find out what our own > individual state's view is of this and get prepared. This is terrifying to > say > the least. Judy > > > Judy, because they ended up getting Guardianship for their individuals as told when one reaches 18 y/o. Their individuals are no longer w/them anymore at ages 20 y/o & over, due to some of the places example on one of the cases their individual were placed in a group home. Parents complain of missing items, needs not being met, etc. So, the parents were in search for another group home for their individual & in the mean time this certain group home decided to turn it around w/their contacts on the same boat as them to have the Guardianship stripped from the parents. These parents are the sweetest angels but unfortunately fell into this corrupted system or corrupted judge & agencies involved. Tomorrow, heading out to Austin as my friends & I are involved within such a circle of addressing what families brings us forth of course the best confidential way possible as we are usually asked to meet with certain agencies so this is part of what we do where needed " IF " possible. We are also meeting with our new DADS commissioner, heard recently he is following through with one of the family case that was at a nursing home & Guardianship was stripped away, this is another chapter here but family member ended up dying in the care of the past DADS (Disability Agency...) Commissioner & all those who are so institutional bias & no one is ever accountable for such action. We also have stayed in tune w/being part of the Texas Guardianship Association & my friend applied to become Board member & was chosen as one of the first family member, so we shall see what happens here. It is DOPA here & Guardianship as a last resort & being caution here when one is under a Medicaid Waiver program as it is not permissible in court if any action taken but at least it allows us to buy some time in the mean time. We also belong to the Stop Guardianship Abuse Association. Irma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2010 Report Share Posted March 16, 2010 *Issue Brief: Guardianship Abuse* http://www.halt.org/reform_projects/freedom_of_legal_information/pdf/Issue_Brief\ _guardianships.pdf THIS STATMENT IS ON PAGE 4, and hits so true to home for a particular family who I know. Professional guardians, however honest, act principally out of economic motives and not from affection or family obligation. They secure business by cultivating relationships with doctors, hospitals, lawyers, courts and government agencies responsible for the elderly. Because professional guardians are repeat participants in the guardianship system, some can manipulate the system to award’s disadvantage. For example, professional guardians frequently invoke the procedural loopholes of the emergency guardianship as a tactic for gaining control over a ward’s rights and assets. -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2010 Report Share Posted March 16, 2010 AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!! Friends beware of helpful government officials. > *Issue Brief: Guardianship Abuse* > > > http://www.halt.org/reform_projects/freedom_of_legal_information/pdf/Issue_Brief\ _guardianships.pdf > > THIS STATMENT IS ON PAGE 4, and hits so true to home for a particular > family > who I know. > > Professional guardians, however honest, act principally out of economic > motives and not from affection or family obligation. They secure business > by > cultivating relationships with doctors, hospitals, lawyers, courts and > government agencies responsible for the elderly. > Because professional guardians are repeat participants in the guardianship > system, some can manipulate the system to award’s disadvantage. For > example, > professional guardians frequently invoke the procedural loopholes of the > emergency guardianship as a tactic for gaining control > over a ward’s rights and assets. > -- > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 17, 2010 Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 Nereida, Find a notary and have her witness Emmeline making her mark. Charlyne Subject: Re: Guardianship To: Date: Wednesday, March 17, 2010, 9:21 AM  I cannot do a DPOA because Emelinne is not mentally capable of granting one. It's different with an elderly parent that still has their faculties and understands what they're signing. I have to redo my will and her special needs trust. No family around. How depressing. Don't want her to go to Arizona with one sister but know she won't get the love from the other sister in NY but will be cared for very well. Bummer. Nereida > > > *Issue Brief: Guardianship Abuse* > > > > > > http://www.halt. org/reform_ projects/ freedom_of_ legal_informatio n/pdf/Issue_ Brief_guardiansh ips.pdf > > > > THIS STATMENT IS ON PAGE 4, and hits so true to home for a particular > > family > > who I know. > > > > Professional guardians, however honest, act principally out of economic > > motives and not from affection or family obligation. They secure business > > by > > cultivating relationships with doctors, hospitals, lawyers, courts and > > government agencies responsible for the elderly. > > Because professional guardians are repeat participants in the guardianship > > system, some can manipulate the system to award’s disadvantage. For > > example, > > professional guardians frequently invoke the procedural loopholes of the > > emergency guardianship as a tactic for gaining control > > over a ward’s rights and assets. > > -- > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 17, 2010 Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 Nereida, Even though that it may be different for the elderly, remember that it is about within your community & how to make sure to seek and see how the Probate judges work within the court system. What you have already decided is fine to ease your mind. This is your choice we shall respect you on which action you've chosen. Heaven forbid should anything happen, your daughter out in Arizona would have to seek Guardianship out in AZ, it usually does not follow from state to state according to some families that have shared this my way from the states they've dealt with. Prayers as this is always making sure we do what we can & the right decision is made. Definitely a will & a Special Needs Trust will assist here too, good luck with the changes needed. Huge major decisions when one crosses this path. Irma On Wed, Mar 17, 2010 at 6:21 AM, NereidaG wrote: > > > I cannot do a DPOA because Emelinne is not mentally capable of granting > one. It's different with an elderly parent that still has their faculties > and understands what they're signing. I have to redo my will and her special > needs trust. No family around. How depressing. Don't want her to go to > Arizona with one sister but know she won't get the love from the other > sister in NY but will be cared for very well. Bummer. > > Nereida > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 17, 2010 Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 I agree with Charlyne. Elie also doesn't have the mental capacity to understand what a DPOA is - and neither did my mother when she signed one. BUT if a person is not declared incompetant, then they are presumed to be competant. AND a notery is not attesting to the ability of the person - nor the content of the document - only that the mark or signature is of the person who made it. PERIOD> > > > Nereida, > Find a notary and have her witness Emmeline making her mark. > Charlyne > > > > From: NereidaG <nevergrowingup59@... <nevergrowingup59%40yahoo.com>> > Subject: Re: Guardianship > To: > Date: Wednesday, March 17, 2010, 9:21 AM > > > > > I cannot do a DPOA because Emelinne is not mentally capable of granting > one. It's different with an elderly parent that still has their faculties > and understands what they're signing. I have to redo my will and her special > needs trust. No family around. How depressing. Don't want her to go to > Arizona with one sister but know she won't get the love from the other > sister in NY but will be cared for very well. Bummer. > > Nereida > > > > > > > *Issue Brief: Guardianship Abuse* > > > > > > > > > http://www.halt. org/reform_ projects/ freedom_of_ legal_informatio > n/pdf/Issue_ Brief_guardiansh ips.pdf > > > > > > > THIS STATMENT IS ON PAGE 4, and hits so true to home for a particular > > > family > > > who I know. > > > > > > Professional guardians, however honest, act principally out of economic > > > motives and not from affection or family obligation. They secure > business > > > by > > > cultivating relationships with doctors, hospitals, lawyers, courts and > > > government agencies responsible for the elderly. > > > Because professional guardians are repeat participants in the > guardianship > > > system, some can manipulate the system to award’s disadvantage. For > > > example, > > > professional guardians frequently invoke the procedural loopholes of > the > > > emergency guardianship as a tactic for gaining control > > > over a ward’s rights and assets. > > > -- > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 17, 2010 Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 >>>>Heaven forbid should anything happen, your daughter out in Arizona would have to seek Guardianship out in AZ, it usually does not follow from state to state according to some families that have shared this my way from the states they've dealt with.<<<<< And see!...this is why we were advised to seek legal guardianship....because it was the only way to assure it would be transferred from state to state should we move. We were advised by a professional financial planner who has a son in his 20s in NY at no cost I might add. She had no part in any financial gain whatsoever from working with us. She's never been paid anything by us. I would like to know what happens if the child/adult makes a mark on a piece of paper giving the parents DPOA and health surrogate powers and the parents die thereafter. Does that leave the child/adult who has no idea what he has " signed " or why, an independent individual who has the right to live on the street if he/she so chooses? Does someone else then have to step up and talk him/her into signing another DPOA over to them? or is someone(?) then free to bring incompetency charges against the child? How does that work in perpetuity....Is this somehow provided for in the parents wills or something? Morbidly curious Sherry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 17, 2010 Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 Our DPOA is for us and if we are 'unavailable' (deliberately vague), Elie will turn his DPOA over to his secondary people - our son and dauaghter. One lives in our state and one lives in MA> They will assume the roles we play. I might add, that the person he lives with has a limited DPOA for Emergency Medical Issues. That is, to admit to hospital or seek treatment. And Guardianships do not transfer from state to state whereas DPOA's do. > > > >>>>Heaven forbid should anything happen, your daughter out in Arizona > would > have to seek Guardianship out in AZ, it usually does not follow from state > to state according to some families that have shared this my way from the > states they've dealt with.<<<<< > > And see!...this is why we were advised to seek legal > guardianship....because it was the only way to assure it would be > transferred from state to state should we move. We were advised by a > professional financial planner who has a son in his 20s in NY at no cost I > might add. She had no part in any financial gain whatsoever from working > with us. She's never been paid anything by us. > > I would like to know what happens if the child/adult makes a mark on a > piece of paper giving the parents DPOA and health surrogate powers and the > parents die thereafter. Does that leave the child/adult who has no idea what > he has " signed " or why, an independent individual who has the right to live > on the street if he/she so chooses? Does someone else then have to step up > and talk him/her into signing another DPOA over to them? or is someone(?) > then free to bring incompetency charges against the child? How does that > work in perpetuity....Is this somehow provided for in the parents wills or > something? > > Morbidly curious > Sherry > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 17, 2010 Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 That wasn't clear about the DPOA . What is in it is that we (Mom and Dad serve as Elie's DPOA. But if we are unavailablae, then the DPOA is automatically turned over to our son and daughter. Their names and addresses and telephone numbers are in the DPOA along with ours. That way, who ever has a acopy of the DPOA knows who to call if there is an issue. > Our DPOA is for us and if we are 'unavailable' (deliberately vague), Elie > will turn his DPOA over to his secondary people - our son and dauaghter. > One lives in our state and one lives in MA> They will assume the roles we > play. I might add, that the person he lives with has a limited DPOA for > Emergency Medical Issues. That is, to admit to hospital or seek treatment. > > > And Guardianships do not transfer from state to state whereas DPOA's do. > > > >> >> >> >>>>Heaven forbid should anything happen, your daughter out in Arizona >> would >> have to seek Guardianship out in AZ, it usually does not follow from state >> to state according to some families that have shared this my way from the >> states they've dealt with.<<<<< >> >> And see!...this is why we were advised to seek legal >> guardianship....because it was the only way to assure it would be >> transferred from state to state should we move. We were advised by a >> professional financial planner who has a son in his 20s in NY at no cost I >> might add. She had no part in any financial gain whatsoever from working >> with us. She's never been paid anything by us. >> >> I would like to know what happens if the child/adult makes a mark on a >> piece of paper giving the parents DPOA and health surrogate powers and the >> parents die thereafter. Does that leave the child/adult who has no idea what >> he has " signed " or why, an independent individual who has the right to live >> on the street if he/she so chooses? Does someone else then have to step up >> and talk him/her into signing another DPOA over to them? or is someone(?) >> then free to bring incompetency charges against the child? How does that >> work in perpetuity....Is this somehow provided for in the parents wills or >> something? >> >> Morbidly curious >> Sherry >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 17, 2010 Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 I also have a copy of the one we used. I might add as to " US " - no matter what we say in a DPOA - especially about what to do when we are incompetent - and this applies to everyone of us, the people who hold the DPOA make the decisions. One example: My mother gave my sister and I her DPOA as she was verging on not being able to decide anything. In her ORIGINAL DPOA which she had given years earlier to our brother, she had said that she wanted to be cremated and her ashes scattered where 'no one but the birds' would ever know. Now our brother didn't agree with this - his plan was a cemetery with gravestone, etc. Then she gave us , her daughters, the DPOA -(which superceded the one she gave her son, our brother) which really was to deal with her day to day affairs since brother wasn't doing anything-. Once she died, we all three of us sat together and decided to donate her body. No cremation, and no grave. Was that her wish? No. But we got to decide. Keep that in mind. Who ever holds the DPOA can LEGALLY do what they think best. > > > In my mother's DPOA, one had a choice of adding additional " agents " . > When you did name further agents, you then made another choice: > 1)All agents had to agree on any decisions/transactions made > or > 2)If the primary agent was not able to fulfil whatever, then the next named > agent assumed the primary role > > This is in my laymen's language-the actual document was in legalese & very > specific. Each agent's address & phone numbers were listed. The DPOA also > allows limits to be placed on agents power if desired & can be revoked at > any time by the person the DPOA is for. > > Understand that a DPOA is not used for medical issues but rather for all > life transactions. > > As an example of life transactions: Maybe our kiddos will not have a house > or stocks to sell but they surely will have insurance issues to deal with. > Or living arrangements to deal with. Definately " life planning " meetings to > attend or make decisions about. While we may have been their birth parents > or step or adoptive parents; that means nothing once they reach the age of > majority. > > I can no more do anything for my adult neuro typical sons & the one that is > married it would be his wife that makes the decisions. The same will occur > once DJ reaches the age of majority-we will basically have no say in > anything-even if he lives with us til we all die! > > The biggest " danger " in my eyes for ALL of us, is not having a DPOA etal in > place. I personally do not want a stranger or even a loved one to make > decisions about my own care-beit medical or life affairs. > > I can tell you honestly that my sons love me very much. Both sons have > their own set of beliefs & values-which extends even about what to do with > my dead body. I can only assume that this could be the same scenerio with > our kiddos-especially adding in " non family " strangers. > > Because of my mother & that whole fiasco, I have now learned that one must > put things in place ahead of time to protect & to give concrete instructions > for all. > > If you want I can post a copy of a DPOA to see if I have one saved. > > Kris > > > > > > > >>>>Heaven forbid should anything happen, your daughter out in Arizona > would > > have to seek Guardianship out in AZ, it usually does not follow from > state > > to state according to some families that have shared this my way from the > > states they've dealt with.<<<<< > > > > And see!...this is why we were advised to seek legal > guardianship....because it was the only way to assure it would be > transferred from state to state should we move. We were advised by a > professional financial planner who has a son in his 20s in NY at no cost I > might add. She had no part in any financial gain whatsoever from working > with us. She's never been paid anything by us. > > > > I would like to know what happens if the child/adult makes a mark on a > piece of paper giving the parents DPOA and health surrogate powers and the > parents die thereafter. Does that leave the child/adult who has no idea what > he has " signed " or why, an independent individual who has the right to live > on the street if he/she so chooses? Does someone else then have to step up > and talk him/her into signing another DPOA over to them? or is someone(?) > then free to bring incompetency charges against the child? How does that > work in perpetuity....Is this somehow provided for in the parents wills or > something? > > > > Morbidly curious > > Sherry > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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