: POSITION OPEN: Are you applying?

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> *PARENT *

>

> * JOB DESCRIPTION:*

>

> *This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,

> I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!**

>

> **POSITION : **

> **Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

> Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop **

>

> **JOB DESCRIPTION : **

>

> **Long term, team players needed, for challenging,

> permanent work in an

> often chaotic environment.

> Candidates must possess excellent communication

> and organizational skills and be willing to work

> variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends

> and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

> Some overnight travel required, including trips to

> primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in

> far away cities!

> Travel expenses not reimbursed.

> Extensive courier duties also required.. **

>

> **RESPONSIBILITIES : **

>

> **The rest of your life..

> Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,

> until someone needs $5.

> Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

> Also, must possess the physical stamina of a

> pack mule

> and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat

> in case, this time, the screams from

> the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

> Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,

> such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets

> and stuck zippers.

> Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and

> coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

> Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings

> for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

> Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,

> an embarrassment the next.

> Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a

> half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

> Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

> Must assume final, complete accountability for

> the quality of the end product.

> Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and

> janitorial work throughout the facility. **

>

> **POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : **

>

> **None.

> Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining,

> constantly retraining and updating your skills,

> so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you **

>

> **PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE **: **

>

> None required unfortunately.

> On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. **

>

> **WAGES AND COMPENSATION **:**

>

> Get this! You pay them!

> Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

> A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because

> of the assumption that college will help them

> become financially independent.

> When you die, you give them whatever is left.

> The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that

> you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. **

>

> **BENEFITS **:**

>

> While no health or dental insurance, no pension,

> no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and

> no stock options are offered;

> this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

> unconditional love,

> and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. **

>

>

> **Forward this on to all the **PARENTS **you know, in appreciation for

> everything they do on a daily basis,

> letting them know they are appreciated

> for the fabulous job they do...

> or forward with love

> to anyone thinking of applying for the job.*

> ** AND A FOOTNOTE

>

> THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER **

>

>

> ------------------------------

>

> Hotmail: Powerful Free email with security by Microsoft. Get it

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>

>

>

>

--

Sara- different pathways lead to Nirvana.