Behavior

[Guest guest]

If anyone has a good perspective here, I would appreciate it. Isaac has

been arguing with his teachers and I can't tell if it is them or him. He

consistently has good classes and consistently has bad classes. It is

completely predictable. However, the most trained and appropriate looking

(though I personally think she is totally burned out) staff person, or at

least the person who can talk the talk the best is his special education

teacher. This is one of the people he has the most trouble with. I think

she is a good teacher but I do think she is burned out.

Anyway, if he were at home and he and I were consistently butting heads, I

would change how I do things. I would assume it isn't working. The school

wants him to learn how to get along. They aren't going to change, they want

Isaac to change. I can see their point, sort of.

He is on a point sheet for behavior and he came home after school all mad

once again, " I hate school. I hate (name of teacher). She is too bossy.

I'm not going to listen to her. " He has an aide in band who we don't have a

lot of faith in. She is just too depressed as a person. Our last big snow

day she told me how she put on her pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon because

she was so tired from the snow she shoveled in the morning. At the time I

thought, " I could never do that! " Isaac would not accept that kind of

parenting. He is very busy and I am always on. I don't even think about

relaxing until he is in bed at 9:00. So, she functions very differently

than we do in this household. My boys are high energy, our dogs are high

energy, I walk at least three miles a day and my only sitting around is this

list serve. And because we shoveled out my mother in law and my 96 year old

neighbor, we were still shoveling at 6:30 that evening. This lady, who is

probably only a few years older than I, walks slow, sees slow, gets tired

easy. So, we are just different than the aide.

I know that Isaac's band director has never had a kid with Down syndrome in

band before. I'm not sure why he was willing to give Isaac a try but Isaac

got kicked out of band again today. He got kicked out once last week as

well. And yet Isaac can actually play the baritone. I guess I was hoping

they would think this is kind of cool. Is it Isaac? Is the band director

not clear enough? Is the aide not doing her job? Is anyone teaching the

aide how to do her job? There is a band concert tomorrow night. What will

happen then?

I really like Isaac but I know he is challenging to people who do not know

how to work with him. We have had numerous meetings this year with the

teacher and principal and I thought we were at a good place but it isn't

just what is on paper, it is knowing intuitively how to work with this kid.

Sorry, I vented. It is just that Isaac can do so many things, why does the

" getting along " part have to be so difficult?

One of the problems today was that he wore baggy jeans. He has never worn

baggy jeans before. I didn't realize they were that baggy - I bought him a

size larger because his old ones were too small. So Isaac is all mad, " I

got in trouble for pulling up my jeans. These are too baggy. I am not

wearing them ever again. " The point sheet says that he touched himself

inappropriately and that when the girls started to laugh he chased them with

his hands in his pants.

So again, is it Isaac or was there bad supervision. Notice how there are

always two versions of a story?

Okay, enough. LOL

Lori

Mom to Isaac, 13 and Tony 11

[Guest guest]

Lori,

You didn't say why Isaac gets kicked out of band? Also, what other behavior is

causing the problems with the teachers? What are they saying about the day as

it progresses? Curious to know. Our teacher this year is doing a chart for

every 15 minutes of class....for all the kids in the class. Jake also has a

sensory diet that she charts. Boy, has it ever helped to determine when and

where he is struggling. We also had issues in the bathroom with a specific aid.

They chart that as well, even as to who takes him and how his demeanor was. He

has had such a better year so far and when he struggles, we can usually find the

culprit. Yesterday he did not have a dangly stuffed toy with him. He was

totally off. Today, he had one.....he had high marks for the entire day. I

would start asking for specifics on events and monitor from there.

Hope it gets better for Isaacs sake. Also, can you not get another aide? Is

this aid through the school, the county, or state?

Holly

Holly Giglio

Jake 10, DS / PDD-NOS

Glen Rock, PA USA

[Guest guest]

Hi Lori,

I can sympathize with Isaac and him having to deal with the middle school staff

attitude. Do they look at everything a student does with a sexual twist? I do

not think running with your hands in your pants to hold them up is considered

touching inappropriately. Were the girls asked to leave the class for laughing

at Isaac?  It seems our kids are under a microscope. If the teacher wants him

to get along then she needs tyo give him the tools to do so to make good

choices. It needs to be his choices not the teacher dictating to him. Our kids

will never learn if they are not given the opportunity.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 17

Subject: Behavior

To:

Date: Tuesday, January 12, 2010, 4:20 PM

 

If anyone has a good perspective here, I would appreciate it. Isaac has

been arguing with his teachers and I can't tell if it is them or him. He

consistently has good classes and consistently has bad classes. It is

completely predictable. However, the most trained and appropriate looking

(though I personally think she is totally burned out) staff person, or at

least the person who can talk the talk the best is his special education

teacher. This is one of the people he has the most trouble with. I think

she is a good teacher but I do think she is burned out.

Anyway, if he were at home and he and I were consistently butting heads, I

would change how I do things. I would assume it isn't working. The school

wants him to learn how to get along. They aren't going to change, they want

Isaac to change. I can see their point, sort of.

He is on a point sheet for behavior and he came home after school all mad

once again, " I hate school. I hate (name of teacher). She is too bossy.

I'm not going to listen to her. " He has an aide in band who we don't have a

lot of faith in. She is just too depressed as a person. Our last big snow

day she told me how she put on her pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon because

she was so tired from the snow she shoveled in the morning. At the time I

thought, " I could never do that! " Isaac would not accept that kind of

parenting. He is very busy and I am always on. I don't even think about

relaxing until he is in bed at 9:00. So, she functions very differently

than we do in this household. My boys are high energy, our dogs are high

energy, I walk at least three miles a day and my only sitting around is this

list serve. And because we shoveled out my mother in law and my 96 year old

neighbor, we were still shoveling at 6:30 that evening. This lady, who is

probably only a few years older than I, walks slow, sees slow, gets tired

easy. So, we are just different than the aide.

I know that Isaac's band director has never had a kid with Down syndrome in

band before. I'm not sure why he was willing to give Isaac a try but Isaac

got kicked out of band again today. He got kicked out once last week as

well. And yet Isaac can actually play the baritone. I guess I was hoping

they would think this is kind of cool. Is it Isaac? Is the band director

not clear enough? Is the aide not doing her job? Is anyone teaching the

aide how to do her job? There is a band concert tomorrow night. What will

happen then?

I really like Isaac but I know he is challenging to people who do not know

how to work with him. We have had numerous meetings this year with the

teacher and principal and I thought we were at a good place but it isn't

just what is on paper, it is knowing intuitively how to work with this kid.

Sorry, I vented. It is just that Isaac can do so many things, why does the

" getting along " part have to be so difficult?

One of the problems today was that he wore baggy jeans. He has never worn

baggy jeans before. I didn't realize they were that baggy - I bought him a

size larger because his old ones were too small. So Isaac is all mad, " I

got in trouble for pulling up my jeans. These are too baggy. I am not

wearing them ever again. " The point sheet says that he touched himself

inappropriately and that when the girls started to laugh he chased them with

his hands in his pants.

So again, is it Isaac or was there bad supervision. Notice how there are

always two versions of a story?

Okay, enough. LOL

Lori

Mom to Isaac, 13 and Tony 11

[Guest guest]

Charlyne:

I am going to vote you in as the new national Director of Education. One of

your platform statements can be, " get our kids out from under a microscope! "

I totally agree with everything you said. Do you have any clout in

Wisconsin?

On a side note, I have been trying to get both of my boys out of elastic

wasted pants for years. My DH pulls the metal button off the jeans and then

I sew in Velcro so they only have to work the zipper, not button their pants

as well - just Velcro it. I really want them to wear jeans at least some of

the time but Isaac came home and immediately put on sweat pants again. The

staff at school have no idea what our lives are like.

Thanks,

Lori

Mom to Isaac 13, and Tony 11

_____

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

Of charlyne1121@...

Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 4:06 PM

To:

Subject: Re: Behavior

Hi Lori,

I can sympathize with Isaac and him having to deal with the middle school

staff attitude. Do they look at everything a student does with a sexual

twist? I do not think running with your hands in your pants to hold them up

is considered touching inappropriately. Were the girls asked to leave the

class for laughing at Isaac? It seems our kids are under a microscope. If

the teacher wants him to get along then she needs tyo give him the tools to

do so to make good choices. It needs to be his choices not the teacher

dictating to him. Our kids will never learn if they are not given the

opportunity.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 17

From: Lori <uccpowelltds (DOT) <mailto:uccpowell%40tds.net> net>

Subject: Behavior

To: @yahoogrou <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com> ps.com

Date: Tuesday, January 12, 2010, 4:20 PM

If anyone has a good perspective here, I would appreciate it. Isaac has

been arguing with his teachers and I can't tell if it is them or him. He

consistently has good classes and consistently has bad classes. It is

completely predictable. However, the most trained and appropriate looking

(though I personally think she is totally burned out) staff person, or at

least the person who can talk the talk the best is his special education

teacher. This is one of the people he has the most trouble with. I think

she is a good teacher but I do think she is burned out.

Anyway, if he were at home and he and I were consistently butting heads, I

would change how I do things. I would assume it isn't working. The school

wants him to learn how to get along. They aren't going to change, they want

Isaac to change. I can see their point, sort of.

He is on a point sheet for behavior and he came home after school all mad

once again, " I hate school. I hate (name of teacher). She is too bossy.

I'm not going to listen to her. " He has an aide in band who we don't have a

lot of faith in. She is just too depressed as a person. Our last big snow

day she told me how she put on her pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon because

she was so tired from the snow she shoveled in the morning. At the time I

thought, " I could never do that! " Isaac would not accept that kind of

parenting. He is very busy and I am always on. I don't even think about

relaxing until he is in bed at 9:00. So, she functions very differently

than we do in this household. My boys are high energy, our dogs are high

energy, I walk at least three miles a day and my only sitting around is this

list serve. And because we shoveled out my mother in law and my 96 year old

neighbor, we were still shoveling at 6:30 that evening. This lady, who is

probably only a few years older than I, walks slow, sees slow, gets tired

easy. So, we are just different than the aide.

I know that Isaac's band director has never had a kid with Down syndrome in

band before. I'm not sure why he was willing to give Isaac a try but Isaac

got kicked out of band again today. He got kicked out once last week as

well. And yet Isaac can actually play the baritone. I guess I was hoping

they would think this is kind of cool. Is it Isaac? Is the band director

not clear enough? Is the aide not doing her job? Is anyone teaching the

aide how to do her job? There is a band concert tomorrow night. What will

happen then?

I really like Isaac but I know he is challenging to people who do not know

how to work with him. We have had numerous meetings this year with the

teacher and principal and I thought we were at a good place but it isn't

just what is on paper, it is knowing intuitively how to work with this kid.

Sorry, I vented. It is just that Isaac can do so many things, why does the

" getting along " part have to be so difficult?

One of the problems today was that he wore baggy jeans. He has never worn

baggy jeans before. I didn't realize they were that baggy - I bought him a

size larger because his old ones were too small. So Isaac is all mad, " I

got in trouble for pulling up my jeans. These are too baggy. I am not

wearing them ever again. " The point sheet says that he touched himself

inappropriately and that when the girls started to laugh he chased them with

his hands in his pants.

So again, is it Isaac or was there bad supervision. Notice how there are

always two versions of a story?

Okay, enough. LOL

Lori

Mom to Isaac, 13 and Tony 11

[Guest guest]

Lori, I would tend to believe the child. What your child has said is not

unreasonable at all. His pants were to baggy and he had to keep pulling them

up.I agree with Charlyne If the teacher thinks he has a problem putting his

hands in his pants then they are responsible for teaching him to have good hands

in other words keeping them out of his pants. Have you seen this problem at

home? My son put his hands in his pants to put pressure on his stomach for gut

issues. He does not fondle himself. We taught him to have good hands and put his

hands in the pockets of his pants or a hoodie. Your child sounds much more high

functioning than my son and so I am sure they can teach him this if he is

putting his hands in his pants. After all my son cannot play any instruments.

Cyndi B

>

>

>

> Subject: Behavior

> To:

> Date: Tuesday, January 12, 2010, 4:20 PM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> If anyone has a good perspective here, I would appreciate it. Isaac has

> been arguing with his teachers and I can't tell if it is them or him. He

> consistently has good classes and consistently has bad classes. It is

> completely predictable. However, the most trained and appropriate looking

> (though I personally think she is totally burned out) staff person, or at

> least the person who can talk the talk the best is his special education

> teacher. This is one of the people he has the most trouble with. I think

> she is a good teacher but I do think she is burned out.

>

> Anyway, if he were at home and he and I were consistently butting heads, I

> would change how I do things. I would assume it isn't working. The school

> wants him to learn how to get along. They aren't going to change, they want

> Isaac to change. I can see their point, sort of.

>

> He is on a point sheet for behavior and he came home after school all mad

> once again, " I hate school. I hate (name of teacher). She is too bossy.

> I'm not going to listen to her. " He has an aide in band who we don't have a

> lot of faith in. She is just too depressed as a person. Our last big snow

> day she told me how she put on her pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon because

> she was so tired from the snow she shoveled in the morning. At the time I

> thought, " I could never do that! " Isaac would not accept that kind of

> parenting. He is very busy and I am always on. I don't even think about

> relaxing until he is in bed at 9:00. So, she functions very differently

> than we do in this household. My boys are high energy, our dogs are high

> energy, I walk at least three miles a day and my only sitting around is this

> list serve. And because we shoveled out my mother in law and my 96 year old

> neighbor, we were still shoveling at 6:30 that evening. This lady, who is

> probably only a few years older than I, walks slow, sees slow, gets tired

> easy. So, we are just different than the aide.

>

> I know that Isaac's band director has never had a kid with Down syndrome in

> band before. I'm not sure why he was willing to give Isaac a try but Isaac

> got kicked out of band again today. He got kicked out once last week as

> well. And yet Isaac can actually play the baritone. I guess I was hoping

> they would think this is kind of cool. Is it Isaac? Is the band director

> not clear enough? Is the aide not doing her job? Is anyone teaching the

> aide how to do her job? There is a band concert tomorrow night. What will

> happen then?

>

> I really like Isaac but I know he is challenging to people who do not know

> how to work with him. We have had numerous meetings this year with the

> teacher and principal and I thought we were at a good place but it isn't

> just what is on paper, it is knowing intuitively how to work with this kid.

>

> Sorry, I vented. It is just that Isaac can do so many things, why does the

> " getting along " part have to be so difficult?

>

> One of the problems today was that he wore baggy jeans. He has never worn

> baggy jeans before. I didn't realize they were that baggy - I bought him a

> size larger because his old ones were too small. So Isaac is all mad, " I

> got in trouble for pulling up my jeans. These are too baggy. I am not

> wearing them ever again. " The point sheet says that he touched himself

> inappropriately and that when the girls started to laugh he chased them with

> his hands in his pants.

>

> So again, is it Isaac or was there bad supervision. Notice how there are

> always two versions of a story?

>

> Okay, enough. LOL

>

> Lori

>

> Mom to Isaac, 13 and Tony 11

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lori,

  

   As a music specialist for many years who has taught piano and voice to

children with special needs, as well as has had children with special needs in

my " typical " choral program, I don't have much aloha for Isaac's band teacher

or aide...that's ridiculous to kick him out of band class because they are inept

at motivating him to do his most appropriate work in class. (AND he has an aide

to ensure this?!) If a " time-out " is necessary, maybe, but kicking him out of

the class? AUWE! (bet you can guess what that word means?!)

  First of all, as a teacher (and a parent of a child with a similar age and

diagnosis) I celebrate the fact that your son can play the instrument!! YAY!!!

Then, I mourn the fact that his teacher and aide sure aren't getting the

supports they need to help your son have the most appropriate experience in

band. Maybe if your son was praised more for the fact that he can play his

instrument and for what he HAS accomplished in class-this would surely create a

more POSITIVE environment!

   It seems like most of Isaac's teaching staff could all learn a lot more

about the incredible patience and daily commitment it takes to ensure the

success of a student with cognitive and behavioral challenges.

  It so breaks my heart that he would come home and say he hates school

because he can clearly sense that people are overwhelmed trying to work with

him. Why do so many teachers lack the self-motivation to seek out or ask (from

their administrators and then their district specialists) for the necessary

educational and behavioral supports to ensure our children's success in school

instead of blame it on our children's behaviors? Are they all not aware that

these behaviors are so often motivated by sensory needs for example?

  When teachers are " burnt out " it is less about " running out of energy " than

it is about running out of NEW IDEAS to work with their students!!! If more

teachers had the sense of integrity to first of all ADMIT THAT THEY NEED THE

HELP and then get the additional supports they need, they could enable more

successful collaborations to create the most appropriate environment for your

son to succeed in school. I know when my daughter's teacher has gotten the

support she needs when she shares how excited she is to have learned a new

intervention strategy!

  In the meantime, we cannot be afraid to hold teachers accountable and to

encourage what they need to do to make this happen! It's their job! It's not

your son't fault that he's struggling, he needs a lot MORE than they are

currently giving him in school! You are right to be persistent!

  If I was Isaac's mom, I would already be feeling very sorry for his

Principal, because like you-I would STILL be calling a lot more IEP meetings

to discuss inclusion supports for Isaac's teachers and aides, asking for a

definite update on Isaac's Behavioral Support Plan to address behaviors and to

come up with FRESH strategies (which may mean FRESH people) to manage them, but

above all the need for a lot more POSITIVITY by everyone around him in that

school!!!! I just feel soooo bad for both of you!

  Sometimes teachers also just need to learn to ERASE THE BOARD and start

again when they are hitting a wall with behaviors if that's what happening...

  " I thought we were at a good place but it isn't just what is on paper, it is

knowing intuitively how to work with this kid. "

It's interesting that you said this, because even as parents it takes us a long

time to " get " how to manage our children's behaviors, (I'm still stumped

though!) but there are people in his district that have the experience to teach

those on his team (if they are the appropriate person to be on his case) how to

work with him. I also agree with Charlyne in that

your son surely needs to be given the opportunity for more independence and

choices, too.

   Lori, believe that you CAN make things better for Isaac if you can

reach his teams' HEARTS and motivate them to be relentless in their quest for

his success because it WILL reflect on THEM in the long run!!!!!!! One of the

things that I do at least once a semester at IEP meetings is bring my daughter

in to meeting to have her thank each of them personally at the table. It reminds

them that my child is a real person with real feelings-rather than a name on a

piece of paper...AND

they get their needed PRAISE, too!

    Aubrey goes to middle school next year and I am just dreading it! The

energy that i know I will need to invest already has me " burnt out! " I am

beginning to think the middle school commitment to their students may be so

fleeting-perhaps because they know our children's stay there is shorter than the

other schools they will be attending and they feel less accountable for the

child's long-term success as a result...it also seems that the truly dedicated

teacher is also slowly becoming a thing of the past...but I'd better go into it

with a more positive attitude, eh?!

    IMUA! GO FORWARD!

  

Malama pono,

Desi

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tue, January 12, 2010 12:06:02 PM

Subject: Re: Behavior

 

Hi Lori,

I can sympathize with Isaac and him having to deal with the middle school staff

attitude. Do they look at everything a student does with a sexual twist? I do

not think running with your hands in your pants to hold them up is considered

touching inappropria tely. Were the girls asked to leave the class for

laughing at Isaac?  It seems our kids are under a microscope. If the teacher

wants him to get along then she needs tyo give him the tools to do so to make

good choices. It needs to be his choices not the teacher dictating to him. Our

kids will never learn if they are not given the opportunity.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 17

From: Lori <uccpowelltds (DOT) net>

Subject: Behavior

To: @yahoogrou ps.com

Date: Tuesday, January 12, 2010, 4:20 PM

 

If anyone has a good perspective here, I would appreciate it. Isaac has

been arguing with his teachers and I can't tell if it is them or him. He

consistently has good classes and consistently has bad classes. It is

completely predictable. However, the most trained and appropriate looking

(though I personally think she is totally burned out) staff person, or at

least the person who can talk the talk the best is his special education

teacher. This is one of the people he has the most trouble with. I think

she is a good teacher but I do think she is burned out.

Anyway, if he were at home and he and I were consistently butting heads, I

would change how I do things. I would assume it isn't working. The school

wants him to learn how to get along. They aren't going to change, they want

Isaac to change. I can see their point, sort of.

He is on a point sheet for behavior and he came home after school all mad

once again, " I hate school. I hate (name of teacher). She is too bossy.

I'm not going to listen to her. " He has an aide in band who we don't have a

lot of faith in. She is just too depressed as a person. Our last big snow

day she told me how she put on her pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon because

she was so tired from the snow she shoveled in the morning. At the time I

thought, " I could never do that! " Isaac would not accept that kind of

parenting. He is very busy and I am always on. I don't even think about

relaxing until he is in bed at 9:00. So, she functions very differently

than we do in this household. My boys are high energy, our dogs are high

energy, I walk at least three miles a day and my only sitting around is this

list serve. And because we shoveled out my mother in law and my 96 year old

neighbor, we were still shoveling at 6:30 that evening. This lady, who is

probably only a few years older than I, walks slow, sees slow, gets tired

easy. So, we are just different than the aide.

I know that Isaac's band director has never had a kid with Down syndrome in

band before. I'm not sure why he was willing to give Isaac a try but Isaac

got kicked out of band again today. He got kicked out once last week as

well. And yet Isaac can actually play the baritone. I guess I was hoping

they would think this is kind of cool. Is it Isaac? Is the band director

not clear enough? Is the aide not doing her job? Is anyone teaching the

aide how to do her job? There is a band concert tomorrow night. What will

happen then?

I really like Isaac but I know he is challenging to people who do not know

how to work with him. We have had numerous meetings this year with the

teacher and principal and I thought we were at a good place but it isn't

just what is on paper, it is knowing intuitively how to work with this kid.

Sorry, I vented. It is just that Isaac can do so many things, why does the

" getting along " part have to be so difficult?

One of the problems today was that he wore baggy jeans. He has never worn

baggy jeans before. I didn't realize they were that baggy - I bought him a

size larger because his old ones were too small. So Isaac is all mad, " I

got in trouble for pulling up my jeans. These are too baggy. I am not

wearing them ever again. " The point sheet says that he touched himself

inappropriately and that when the girls started to laugh he chased them with

his hands in his pants.

So again, is it Isaac or was there bad supervision. Notice how there are

always two versions of a story?

Okay, enough. LOL

Lori

Mom to Isaac, 13 and Tony 11

[Guest guest]

Hi Lori,

Thanks for the job,LOL. Sorry, no clout anywhere even though I sit on the

state's sped advisory council. My own district hates me with a passion. They do

not hide their feelings to me or any outside person.  Most staff develop

attitudes when they are asked to change the way they do business especially for

one student. It would not be an issue if Isaac remained in resources classes all

day. Inclusion seems to be the very issue. The fingers get pointed at every turn

regardless. No teacher wants to do more work than they have too. The band

teacher earned his crown(of thorns) I would advise you not to allow the

inappropriate touching to attach itself to Isaac. Nip it immediately. Keep

Isaac's record truthful and respectful.

 

Zeb is the only student with intellectual disabilities in general ed classes in

his HS of 1200 students. We had a similiar incident that the school could

not or would not explain but tried to label Zeb as having a sexual issue. He

does not ever walk around with his hands in his pants or touch himself not to

say that he never scratched himself or adjusted himself as any other teenage boy

has done at one time or another. The school tried to make this an issue even

going so far as to have a teacher write that he would not keep his hands off of

her for months. She never once wrote anything of the sort in his daily

communication binder, made any attempt to contact me, gave Zeb a detention or

referred him to the principal. He had a good grade in her class. It

would have made a good case to change his placement. I was fortunate to know

someone that knew a national expert of social and sexual development with

expertise working primarily with teens

and adults with intellectual disabilities. She evaluated Zeb and wrote a report

stating that he does not have any sexual issues. The school team was furious,

school plan backfired. It cost me bucks for the evaluation but worth every

penny. Zeb spends his school days under a microscope and I spend my life

defending him. My saving grace is being well connected with highly

regarded independent educational experts in this state and knowing that the

truth eventually prevails.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 17        

From: Lori <uccpowelltds (DOT) <mailto:uccpowell% 40tds.net> net>

Subject: Behavior

To: @yahoogrou <mailto:% 40yahoogroups. com> ps.com

Date: Tuesday, January 12, 2010, 4:20 PM

If anyone has a good perspective here, I would appreciate it. Isaac has

been arguing with his teachers and I can't tell if it is them or him. He

consistently has good classes and consistently has bad classes. It is

completely predictable. However, the most trained and appropriate looking

(though I personally think she is totally burned out) staff person, or at

least the person who can talk the talk the best is his special education

teacher. This is one of the people he has the most trouble with. I think

she is a good teacher but I do think she is burned out.

Anyway, if he were at home and he and I were consistently butting heads, I

would change how I do things. I would assume it isn't working. The school

wants him to learn how to get along. They aren't going to change, they want

Isaac to change. I can see their point, sort of.

He is on a point sheet for behavior and he came home after school all mad

once again, " I hate school. I hate (name of teacher). She is too bossy.

I'm not going to listen to her. " He has an aide in band who we don't have a

lot of faith in. She is just too depressed as a person. Our last big snow

day she told me how she put on her pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon because

she was so tired from the snow she shoveled in the morning. At the time I

thought, " I could never do that! " Isaac would not accept that kind of

parenting. He is very busy and I am always on. I don't even think about

relaxing until he is in bed at 9:00. So, she functions very differently

than we do in this household. My boys are high energy, our dogs are high

energy, I walk at least three miles a day and my only sitting around is this

list serve. And because we shoveled out my mother in law and my 96 year old

neighbor, we were still shoveling at 6:30 that evening. This lady, who is

probably only a few years older than I, walks slow, sees slow, gets tired

easy. So, we are just different than the aide.

I know that Isaac's band director has never had a kid with Down syndrome in

band before. I'm not sure why he was willing to give Isaac a try but Isaac

got kicked out of band again today. He got kicked out once last week as

well. And yet Isaac can actually play the baritone. I guess I was hoping

they would think this is kind of cool. Is it Isaac? Is the band director

not clear enough? Is the aide not doing her job? Is anyone teaching the

aide how to do her job? There is a band concert tomorrow night. What will

happen then?

I really like Isaac but I know he is challenging to people who do not know

how to work with him. We have had numerous meetings this year with the

teacher and principal and I thought we were at a good place but it isn't

just what is on paper, it is knowing intuitively how to work with this kid.

Sorry, I vented. It is just that Isaac can do so many things, why does the

" getting along " part have to be so difficult?

One of the problems today was that he wore baggy jeans. He has never worn

baggy jeans before. I didn't realize they were that baggy - I bought him a

size larger because his old ones were too small. So Isaac is all mad, " I

got in trouble for pulling up my jeans. These are too baggy. I am not

wearing them ever again. " The point sheet says that he touched himself

inappropriately and that when the girls started to laugh he chased them with

his hands in his pants.

So again, is it Isaac or was there bad supervision. Notice how there are

always two versions of a story?

Okay, enough. LOL

Lori

Mom to Isaac, 13 and Tony 11

[Guest guest]

And Charlyne that you are strong enough to susrvive 4 more years of the

constant state oaf stress. May you live to be 120!

>

>

> Hi Lori,

> Thanks for the job,LOL. Sorry, no clout anywhere even though I sit on the

> state's sped advisory council. My own district hates me with a passion. They

> do not hide their feelings to me or any outside person. Most staff develop

> attitudes when they are asked to change the way they do business especially

> for one student. It would not be an issue if Isaac remained in resources

> classes all day. Inclusion seems to be the very issue. The fingers get

> pointed at every turn regardless. No teacher wants to do more work than they

> have too. The band teacher earned his crown(of thorns) I would advise you

> not to allow the inappropriate touching to attach itself to Isaac. Nip it

> immediately. Keep Isaac's record truthful and respectful.

>

> Zeb is the only student with intellectual disabilities in general ed

> classes in his HS of 1200 students. We had a similiar incident that the

> school could not or would not explain but tried to label Zeb as having a

> sexual issue. He does not ever walk around with his hands in his pants or

> touch himself not to say that he never scratched himself or adjusted himself

> as any other teenage boy has done at one time or another. The school tried

> to make this an issue even going so far as to have a teacher write that he

> would not keep his hands off of her for months. She never once wrote

> anything of the sort in his daily communication binder, made any attempt to

> contact me, gave Zeb a detention or referred him to the principal. He had a

> good grade in her class. It would have made a good case to change his

> placement. I was fortunate to know someone that knew a national expert of

> social and sexual development with expertise working primarily with teens

> and adults with intellectual disabilities. She evaluated Zeb and wrote a

> report stating that he does not have any sexual issues. The school team was

> furious, school plan backfired. It cost me bucks for the evaluation but

> worth every penny. Zeb spends his school days under a microscope and I spend

> my life defending him. My saving grace is being well connected with highly

> regarded independent educational experts in this state and knowing that the

> truth eventually prevails.

> Charlyne

> Mom to Zeb 17

>

>

> From: Lori <uccpowelltds (DOT) <mailto:uccpowell% <uccpowell%25>

> 40tds.net> net>

> Subject: Behavior

> To: @yahoogrou <mailto:% <%25> 40yahoogroups.

> com> ps.com

> Date: Tuesday, January 12, 2010, 4:20 PM

>

> If anyone has a good perspective here, I would appreciate it. Isaac has

> been arguing with his teachers and I can't tell if it is them or him. He

> consistently has good classes and consistently has bad classes. It is

> completely predictable. However, the most trained and appropriate looking

> (though I personally think she is totally burned out) staff person, or at

> least the person who can talk the talk the best is his special education

> teacher. This is one of the people he has the most trouble with. I think

> she is a good teacher but I do think she is burned out.

>

> Anyway, if he were at home and he and I were consistently butting heads, I

> would change how I do things. I would assume it isn't working. The school

> wants him to learn how to get along. They aren't going to change, they want

> Isaac to change. I can see their point, sort of.

>

> He is on a point sheet for behavior and he came home after school all mad

> once again, " I hate school. I hate (name of teacher). She is too bossy.

> I'm not going to listen to her. " He has an aide in band who we don't have a

> lot of faith in. She is just too depressed as a person. Our last big snow

> day she told me how she put on her pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon because

> she was so tired from the snow she shoveled in the morning. At the time I

> thought, " I could never do that! " Isaac would not accept that kind of

> parenting. He is very busy and I am always on. I don't even think about

> relaxing until he is in bed at 9:00. So, she functions very differently

> than we do in this household. My boys are high energy, our dogs are high

> energy, I walk at least three miles a day and my only sitting around is

> this

> list serve. And because we shoveled out my mother in law and my 96 year old

> neighbor, we were still shoveling at 6:30 that evening. This lady, who is

> probably only a few years older than I, walks slow, sees slow, gets tired

> easy. So, we are just different than the aide.

>

> I know that Isaac's band director has never had a kid with Down syndrome in

> band before. I'm not sure why he was willing to give Isaac a try but Isaac

> got kicked out of band again today. He got kicked out once last week as

> well. And yet Isaac can actually play the baritone. I guess I was hoping

> they would think this is kind of cool. Is it Isaac? Is the band director

> not clear enough? Is the aide not doing her job? Is anyone teaching the

> aide how to do her job? There is a band concert tomorrow night. What will

> happen then?

>

> I really like Isaac but I know he is challenging to people who do not know

> how to work with him. We have had numerous meetings this year with the

> teacher and principal and I thought we were at a good place but it isn't

> just what is on paper, it is knowing intuitively how to work with this kid.

>

> Sorry, I vented. It is just that Isaac can do so many things, why does the

> " getting along " part have to be so difficult?

>

> One of the problems today was that he wore baggy jeans. He has never worn

> baggy jeans before. I didn't realize they were that baggy - I bought him a

> size larger because his old ones were too small. So Isaac is all mad, " I

> got in trouble for pulling up my jeans. These are too baggy. I am not

> wearing them ever again. " The point sheet says that he touched himself

> inappropriately and that when the girls started to laugh he chased them

> with

> his hands in his pants.

>

> So again, is it Isaac or was there bad supervision. Notice how there are

> always two versions of a story?

>

> Okay, enough. LOL

>

> Lori

>

> Mom to Isaac, 13 and Tony 11

>

>

>