Guest guest Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 I don't know how I ended up with a child with with such a calm character/behavior when out in public. She loves car rides, eating in restaurants, etc. and it's a joy to take her out. Sometimes I think we might be the exception to the rule. Will that change someday? It might. BUT... I can definitely relate because I have a 3 year old that I often dread thinking about having to take somewhere - she fights getting in her car seat, fights everything!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it feels good to vent to people who understand - we have to sometimes! Heidi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Nereida, you are not alone, can relate when these episodes occur. Lending a shoulder to vent on anytime is needed. Hopefully later or manage until the next day. Breathe in, now out, now tackle something else as Emelinne is in her comfort zone. Irma,21,DS/ASD On Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 9:51 AM, NereidaG wrote: > > > Emelinne has been off for almost 2 weeks. I figured I would take her out to > lunch today to a real restaurant (Chili's) as soon as it opened so it > wouldn't be crowded and noisy. I stress more if the atmosphere is not right. > Anyway, so I did my morning stuff and then told her we were going out to > lunch. I got her dressed and when we opened the door to get in garage she > starts crying and biting her hand and hitting her head. She gets in her seat > still going berserk. Ok, I am not in the mood for this. Tears and runny nose > and saliva all over her face and hands and hair. Just lovely. I tell her to > get out of car and she gets in the backseat and she is even louder and > angrier. I always have the faint hope that she will stop and be calm so we > can do as I planned and enjoy something normal. Finally she goes inside and > sits in the livingroom. Within a minute she is calm and asking for Sesame > Street. I wait a little while and we drive through 's. I think she got > the message because she may have bit her hand once or twice but she didn't > have a whole episode. I really wanted to go to Walmart but after that I knew > I couldn't chance it. I'm gonna give her a couple hours and then try to head > out again. It stinks when you need basic stuff like milk and you can't make > it to the store. I'm sorry but I get angry. I look at her when she is having > a fit and there is nothing I can do about it. Oh and to top it off I > thought, she is already dressed so that's a good thing, we can just go later > on. NOT. A little while ago she went into the bathroom. When I looked in on > her she had stripped. The only thing she had on was her black undershirt. > Joy. > > Oh, and she has an eval at TEACCH on Jan. 13 and an appt at the Duke DS > clinic in April. Someone should be able to tell me how to handle things. > > Sometimes I feel like a deflated balloon. > > Nereida in NC > Emelinne (17) DS > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Ladies - I hear your suffering. Ask the older members of this list - I also cried, whined, had atemper tantrums and just screamed my waya thru ELie's teen years. Life was not fun. So - hind-sight being absolutely perfect I have this to offer: - Use wheels when ever you have a time schedule or must do errand. - Smile at anyone who looks askance at you. - Get a wheelchair - not a stroller for the exact reason you never wanted one before - so that people will know that this child has a disability and cannot walk just now. - Give yourself permission to be angry and sad. - ASK FOR HELP! Does your church have a circle of support? Maybe now is the time for them to form one - maybe two people from the church could stay with your child long enough for you to do essentuials without said child?? Vent away - this is a safe venue! YOU WILL SURVIVE> Mom to Elie, age 24 and living away from home, North GA. > > > > I know how you feel. I am dreading taking to the doctor today. > We had gotten to where I could pretty much eventually talk her into > walking in most of the way. But the last time we went she absolutely > refused. I talked, counted, offered rewards until I was blue in the > face. We had talked about it ahead of time. Luckily my mom was with me > and we each had to grab a leg and haul her into the exam room. Today > she is sick and it is snowing. I can't have her sitting down on me in > the snow. I can't pick her up anymore at all.So I am going to have to > take her in her stroller into a very small office and exam rooms with > everybody wondering why can't she get her to walk in. And I think what > bothers me is I wonder why I can't do it too! > > Carla mom to , 13 DS/Autism, hearing loss and , 9 > > > > > Emelinne has been off for almost 2 weeks. I figured I would take her > out to lunch today to a real restaurant (Chili's) as soon as it opened > so it wouldn't be crowded and noisy. I stress more if the atmosphere is > not right. Anyway, so I did my morning stuff and then told her we were > going out to lunch. I got her dressed and when we opened the door to get > in garage she starts crying and biting her hand and hitting her head. > She gets in her seat still going berserk. Ok, I am not in the mood for > this. Tears and runny nose and saliva all over her face and hands and > hair. Just lovely. I tell her to get out of car and she gets in the > backseat and she is even louder and angrier. I always have the faint > hope that she will stop and be calm so we can do as I planned and enjoy > something normal. Finally she goes inside and sits in the livingroom. > Within a minute she is calm and asking for Sesame Street. I wait a > little while and we drive through 's. I think she got the message > because she may have bit her hand once or twice but she didn't have a > whole episode. I really wanted to go to Walmart but after that I knew I > couldn't chance it. I'm gonna give her a couple hours and then try to > head out again. It stinks when you need basic stuff like milk and you > can't make it to the store. I'm sorry but I get angry. I look at her > when she is having a fit and there is nothing I can do about it. Oh and > to top it off I thought, she is already dressed so that's a good thing, > we can just go later on. NOT. A little while ago she went into the > bathroom. When I looked in on her she had stripped. The only thing she > had on was her black undershirt. Joy. > > Oh, and she has an eval at TEACCH on Jan. 13 and an appt at the Duke DS > clinic in April. Someone should be able to tell me how to handle > things. > > Sometimes I feel like a deflated balloon. > > Nereida in NC > Emelinne (17) DS > > <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Kuddos. Irma On Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 1:16 PM, cynthiamiltonburns < cynthiamiltonburns@...> wrote: > > > Sara, Very well said. Amen sister. Cyndi b > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Oh, I remember those days Cyndi, such a poop artist. Still wonder how I manage even when I would go to work, the therapist, doc appt.'s. I too, did not care if others look. Let's just some are now friends & some were educated. Never mean to them, they just had a different tune. No more poop artist here. Anyways can relate once upon a time. Ok, will head out & take Master out to the mall, need to get him out. Irma,21,DS/ASD On Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 1:34 PM, cynthiamiltonburns < cynthiamiltonburns@...> wrote: > > > Sorry that the day you wanted was not what your daughter had planned. We > all have had those days. Please stop worrying about what others are thinking > when they see your beautiful child. Those people have something wrong with > them ignorance and no manners. People that stare at our children have > nothing else better to do. Well at least that is what I think in the moment > of seeing someone stare. Just imagine that some of those people are > wondering where you get your strength to help your child. Those people that > stare know in their hearts they could not do what you do for your child for > even one minute and you are doing it 24/7. You want to take your child to a > quiet restaurant and I want it to be noisy. That way if my son decides to > use his " outside " voice inside no one will notice. The more crowded the > better. Today my son has used the toilet all day until now. He sat on the > toilet and went and it less than 10 minutes he urinated all over himself. I > thought I had the urine cleaned up but no I just stepped in another spot of > wetness. Gross. Oh well things could be worst could be feces. That was no > fun the years he used to do fecal smearing. I felt like I was going to have > a complete breakdown. I would walk in his room fully dressed to go to work. > All I had to do was get him dressed and I walked into feces all over > him,carpeting, furniture, etc. Tell me about what kinds of things you have > tried to help keep her from these meltdowns? Have you down picture > schedules,etc. Cyndi B > > > > > > > Emelinne has been off for almost 2 weeks. I figured I would take her out > to lunch today to a real restaurant (Chili's) as soon as it opened so it > wouldn't be crowded and noisy. I stress more if the atmosphere is not right. > Anyway, so I did my morning stuff and then told her we were going out to > lunch. I got her dressed and when we opened the door to get in garage she > starts crying and biting her hand and hitting her head. She gets in her seat > still going berserk. Ok, I am not in the mood for this. Tears and runny nose > and saliva all over her face and hands and hair. Just lovely. I tell her to > get out of car and she gets in the backseat and she is even louder and > angrier. I always have the faint hope that she will stop and be calm so we > can do as I planned and enjoy something normal. Finally she goes inside and > sits in the livingroom. Within a minute she is calm and asking for Sesame > Street. I wait a little while and we drive through 's. I think she got > the message because she may have bit her hand once or twice but she didn't > have a whole episode. I really wanted to go to Walmart but after that I knew > I couldn't chance it. I'm gonna give her a couple hours and then try to head > out again. It stinks when you need basic stuff like milk and you can't make > it to the store. I'm sorry but I get angry. I look at her when she is having > a fit and there is nothing I can do about it. Oh and to top it off I > thought, she is already dressed so that's a good thing, we can just go later > on. NOT. A little while ago she went into the bathroom. When I looked in on > her she had stripped. The only thing she had on was her black undershirt. > Joy. > > > > Oh, and she has an eval at TEACCH on Jan. 13 and an appt at the Duke DS > clinic in April. Someone should be able to tell me how to handle things. > > > > Sometimes I feel like a deflated balloon. > > > > Nereida in NC > > Emelinne (17) DS > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Poop artist you mean Picasso. All though at the time it was not art that anyone would enjoy. He used to shake his sipper cup at the wall when he was little and then too I called him Picasso. Good thing the walls in the Kitchen could be wiped down.Cyndi B > > > > > > Emelinne has been off for almost 2 weeks. I figured I would take her out > > to lunch today to a real restaurant (Chili's) as soon as it opened so it > > wouldn't be crowded and noisy. I stress more if the atmosphere is not right. > > Anyway, so I did my morning stuff and then told her we were going out to > > lunch. I got her dressed and when we opened the door to get in garage she > > starts crying and biting her hand and hitting her head. She gets in her seat > > still going berserk. Ok, I am not in the mood for this. Tears and runny nose > > and saliva all over her face and hands and hair. Just lovely. I tell her to > > get out of car and she gets in the backseat and she is even louder and > > angrier. I always have the faint hope that she will stop and be calm so we > > can do as I planned and enjoy something normal. Finally she goes inside and > > sits in the livingroom. Within a minute she is calm and asking for Sesame > > Street. I wait a little while and we drive through 's. I think she got > > the message because she may have bit her hand once or twice but she didn't > > have a whole episode. I really wanted to go to Walmart but after that I knew > > I couldn't chance it. I'm gonna give her a couple hours and then try to head > > out again. It stinks when you need basic stuff like milk and you can't make > > it to the store. I'm sorry but I get angry. I look at her when she is having > > a fit and there is nothing I can do about it. Oh and to top it off I > > thought, she is already dressed so that's a good thing, we can just go later > > on. NOT. A little while ago she went into the bathroom. When I looked in on > > her she had stripped. The only thing she had on was her black undershirt. > > Joy. > > > > > > Oh, and she has an eval at TEACCH on Jan. 13 and an appt at the Duke DS > > clinic in April. Someone should be able to tell me how to handle things. > > > > > > Sometimes I feel like a deflated balloon. > > > > > > Nereida in NC > > > Emelinne (17) DS > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Well I made it to Walmart. She was hitting herself throughout but at least I got to go. I didn't care if anyone looked and I didn't care about the look on my face either. I don't use pictures and maybe I should but I figure she understands what I am saying to her. The word french fry excites her and she is usually rarin to go but wow, what was going on with her today? Christmas day was an awful SIB day and then the next day was wonderful. When it's bad I have to walk away or tell her to go to her room. I have no idea what to do when she is like this. I am so glad she did not have a period of poop art. She did go through a throwing phase for years. She thought it was funny too. Just like the word " no. " Whenever you told her " no " she laughed hysterically. There is alot in that brain of hers, getting it out is the problem. She knows exactly what she's doing. > > > > > > > > Emelinne has been off for almost 2 weeks. I figured I would take her out > > > to lunch today to a real restaurant (Chili's) as soon as it opened so it > > > wouldn't be crowded and noisy. I stress more if the atmosphere is not right. > > > Anyway, so I did my morning stuff and then told her we were going out to > > > lunch. I got her dressed and when we opened the door to get in garage she > > > starts crying and biting her hand and hitting her head. She gets in her seat > > > still going berserk. Ok, I am not in the mood for this. Tears and runny nose > > > and saliva all over her face and hands and hair. Just lovely. I tell her to > > > get out of car and she gets in the backseat and she is even louder and > > > angrier. I always have the faint hope that she will stop and be calm so we > > > can do as I planned and enjoy something normal. Finally she goes inside and > > > sits in the livingroom. Within a minute she is calm and asking for Sesame > > > Street. I wait a little while and we drive through 's. I think she got > > > the message because she may have bit her hand once or twice but she didn't > > > have a whole episode. I really wanted to go to Walmart but after that I knew > > > I couldn't chance it. I'm gonna give her a couple hours and then try to head > > > out again. It stinks when you need basic stuff like milk and you can't make > > > it to the store. I'm sorry but I get angry. I look at her when she is having > > > a fit and there is nothing I can do about it. Oh and to top it off I > > > thought, she is already dressed so that's a good thing, we can just go later > > > on. NOT. A little while ago she went into the bathroom. When I looked in on > > > her she had stripped. The only thing she had on was her black undershirt. > > > Joy. > > > > > > > > Oh, and she has an eval at TEACCH on Jan. 13 and an appt at the Duke DS > > > clinic in April. Someone should be able to tell me how to handle things. > > > > > > > > Sometimes I feel like a deflated balloon. > > > > > > > > Nereida in NC > > > > Emelinne (17) DS > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2009 Report Share Posted December 31, 2009 I am SO jealous Heidi!!!!! My girlfriend has a daughter with DS and PDD (not autism like Maddie) and she goes everywhere too......we always say how much easier life would be if we could only take Maddie places. We have to have one of our older kids here to watch her eveyr Sunday so we can go to church; if they're not available we have to go to separate masses. And restaurants are out of the question. We continue to try, with near catastrophes happening often. With Maddie, it's not so much that she flips out or tantrums; she does dangerous things. It's always been that way though...since she could walk. It's just that it's gotten so difficult because obviously in recent years, I simply can't just pick her up...she's 25 lbs more than me, and in spite of my weight training, WAY WAY stronger than me!!!!!! She IS Cute though.....LOL Duff told me this morning that she was up through the night, and he laid with her. She kept licking his eye, flicking his lashes with her tongue.....LOL Donna > I don't know how I ended up with a child with with such a calm > character/behavior when out in public. She loves car rides, eating in > restaurants, etc. and it's a joy to take her out. Sometimes I think we might be > the exception to the rule. Will that change someday? It might. BUT... I > can definitely relate because I have a 3 year old that I often dread > thinking about having to take somewhere - she fights getting in her car seat, > fights everything!!!!!!!!!!!! > > I know it feels good to vent to people who understand - we have to > sometimes! > > Heidi > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2010 Report Share Posted January 3, 2010 nathan also loves to go for rides, shopping and out to eat is his fav. It was horrible when he was little, but we kept trying, even made it part of his ICP with SCL goals and everything. Must have made the difference, cause he will often ask to eat out or go the the store. He has a wheelchair for the big stores or malls, etc, but hasnt used it much over the last year ive noticed. " sigh " he is just growing up i guess. shawna http://sewshawna.blogspot.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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