Re: update... iep meeting woes

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry, DES. Sound brutal. You probably weren't in the best

emotional shape going in...you've had so much on your plate lately with

son #2, too. So it sounds like he has the 504 plan now, not an IEP?

((((((hugs))))))) I'm sorry to hear it! Are you going to keep

'fighting'?

Maralee

In the Chicago 'burbs, where Spring is just around the corner! (I hope)

> update... iep meeting woes

>

> Ever come out of one of those meetings and just 'fall apart'???

> Great stuffing MOM! :/

>

> Youngest son's IEP meeting was to say the least.. the WORST I've

> participated in for over 15 years. I came out of there and just

> cried. The part where you want to understand the 'testing' that

> was done? How about just keep saying... " he doesn't qualify under

> the standard deviations " and keep blabbering about getting on with

> things.

>

> How about the accomodations being specfic? " I will NOT be that

> specfic " HUH? What am I missing here?

>

> sorry.. I'm babbling once more over things I just don't understand.

>

> DES

>

> ps... anyone have that extra frothy cup o joe?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Acutally I *think* we have the IEP... I'm not sure. LOL

I was trying to get the 'jist' of the scores on the assessments (his

three year) and I KNEW he was really weak in reading and writing

sentences. Trying to get clarification I did what the school

psychologist suggested...I email him my questions. Got a reply

mail, " these can't be address by email, will talk in person " . Walked

into the meeting and there was the 'low incidence' person. Basically,

the 'expert' on Autism *ehm* but more of a fire-putter-outer for the

the District. She took over... and wrote a bunch of goals about

social skillls; pragmatics (which I was told they don't test on)...

and a few writing goals (more complexity).

I wasn't asking for anything but clarification on the weaknesses or

strengths and got accused of asking for LD services. When we

started on the accomodations part..... I was told I was TRYING to be

too specfic! (what happened to at least clarification). OIY!

The overall 'attitude' was defensive and at times.... angry from

across the table. I felt like a 'bad' child. That make sense. Like

they spoke to me like I was 'unable to comprehend' what they were

saying. duhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm stressed...and tired but not THAT

tired.

Took the day off.. no calls! Got my hair cut. I think the two long

headache actually eased a bit today.

Digging in for the next one. Son #2.

know what? I think I will actually be glad to see school over this

year! (remind me of this in JULY)! LOL

DES

[Guest guest]

Des,

When my husband and I started going to our first IEP meetings for

our son we made sure that we took other people. One person that

always attends is 's county case manager. We have had three

different case managers and all three have been more than willing to

come. We receive respite care through the county, getting 20 hours

of babysitting time. Even though is too old for a " babysitter "

he still gets this service, it gives both of us a break. He spends

Friday night and all day Saturday with the care provider,

really enjoys the break and as you can imagine we do too!

We also brought a retired special ed teacher to the first IEP.

When you bring ANYONE that they think are familiar with the rules

they shape up very quickly. You also get a lot of diverse ideas that

really contribute to the entire process. Bring a friend, they don't

need to know if your friend is an expert or not! It really helps

having another person there just to go over everything after the

meeting, my husband and I always find that we have a better grip on

the proceedings when we compare " notes " . Another great idea is to

tape the meeting, they cannot object as long as you tell them you

are recording the meeting.

My husband and I also make sure that we understand exactly what

they are talking about, ask, ask, ask a million questions if you are

not sure what they mean. You cannot expect to be an expert at this

process and frankly I do not trust the administration, even though

the teachers have always been great. They can only provide services

that their bosses agree to. Don't let them rush you thru the process

either, we have had IEP meetings that have taken three days lasting

a total of 6 hours. We not only do the IEP but we also do a Behavior

Plan, this outlines exactly what we expect to happen when loses

control, what the teacher and the rest of the staff are supposed to

do.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD first, that did NOT entitle him to

an IEP as far as our school was concerned, but the minute we got the

Autism diagnoses they absolutely did not have a choice then, they

had to provide an IEP and not the more limited 504.

I really don't understand all the differences between the two

other than the services provided in a 504 are not as extensive as an

IEP. had a wonderful special ed teacher that told us point

blank, get him diagnosed correctly, not just by a Pediatrician, but

by a Child Psychiatrist. Once we got that diagnoses it opened a lot

of doors.

I cannot believe that they did not listen to your input, you know

your child better than they do. They should welcome your ideas!

There is also a requirement on who shows up for the meeting, I am

not sure exactly who has to be there, maybe someone else here does,

but when you have a lot of people present they are a lot more

careful about what they say and do.

Good luck with your next meeting. Remember, you have the right to

call another IEP meeting anytime you think you need one. They cannot

turn you down on this, it's the law. We always end up calling for

extra meetings thru out the year; something always comes up that

wasn't covered in the first meeting. I get so upset when I hear

parents being treated so poorly by schools. It's just not right.

> Acutally I *think* we have the IEP... I'm not sure. LOL

>

> I was trying to get the 'jist' of the scores on the assessments

(his

> three year) and I KNEW he was really weak in reading and writing

> sentences. Trying to get clarification I did what the school

> psychologist suggested...I email him my questions. Got a reply

> mail, " these can't be address by email, will talk in person " .

Walked

> into the meeting and there was the 'low incidence' person.

Basically,

> the 'expert' on Autism *ehm* but more of a fire-putter-outer for

the

> the District. She took over... and wrote a bunch of goals about

> social skillls; pragmatics (which I was told they don't test

on)...

> and a few writing goals (more complexity).

>

> I wasn't asking for anything but clarification on the weaknesses

or

> strengths and got accused of asking for LD services. When we

> started on the accomodations part..... I was told I was TRYING to

be

> too specfic! (what happened to at least clarification). OIY!

>

> The overall 'attitude' was defensive and at times.... angry from

> across the table. I felt like a 'bad' child. That make sense.

Like

> they spoke to me like I was 'unable to comprehend' what they were

> saying. duhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm stressed...and tired but not THAT

> tired.

>

> Took the day off.. no calls! Got my hair cut. I think the two

long

> headache actually eased a bit today.

>

> Digging in for the next one. Son #2.

>

> know what? I think I will actually be glad to see school over

this

> year! (remind me of this in JULY)! LOL

>

>

> DES

[Guest guest]

Des,

One other thing, they cannot deny your child any services because

they claim they don't have the money. If your child needs something

the IEP team says he needs, they must provide the service, period.

They always manage to find the money, but they love to cry " poor " .

One more thing, they must provide you a copy of the IEP. You can

also get a copy of those test results. If they ask " why " , tell them

your lawyer wants to look at them.

's Mom

> Acutally I *think* we have the IEP... I'm not sure. LOL

>

> I was trying to get the 'jist' of the scores on the assessments

(his

> three year) and I KNEW he was really weak in reading and writing

> sentences. Trying to get clarification I did what the school

> psychologist suggested...I email him my questions. Got a reply

> mail, " these can't be address by email, will talk in person " .

Walked

> into the meeting and there was the 'low incidence' person.

Basically,

> the 'expert' on Autism *ehm* but more of a fire-putter-outer for

the

> the District. She took over... and wrote a bunch of goals about

> social skillls; pragmatics (which I was told they don't test

on)...

> and a few writing goals (more complexity).

>

> I wasn't asking for anything but clarification on the weaknesses

or

> strengths and got accused of asking for LD services. When we

> started on the accomodations part..... I was told I was TRYING to

be

> too specfic! (what happened to at least clarification). OIY!

>

> The overall 'attitude' was defensive and at times.... angry from

> across the table. I felt like a 'bad' child. That make sense.

Like

> they spoke to me like I was 'unable to comprehend' what they were

> saying. duhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm stressed...and tired but not THAT

> tired.

>

> Took the day off.. no calls! Got my hair cut. I think the two

long

> headache actually eased a bit today.

>

> Digging in for the next one. Son #2.

>

> know what? I think I will actually be glad to see school over

this

> year! (remind me of this in JULY)! LOL

>

>

> DES