Re: Question?????

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

>>It is almost as if he can't get his feelings out the way he wants to. <<

This is a very good way of putting it and sounds like ASD to me! One of

their biggest problems is that they cannot recognise their own feelings, and

do not know how to express them. I would suggest doing some work on feelings

with him - there is something about it in Tony Attwood's book. It is

learning that there are gradations of feeling, you can be a little bit

happy/sad/angry, and show it by ..., or you can be a lot and show it by ...

Also, there is learning that other people have feelings which may be

different to your own, and whom you can affect by the way you act. Because

they often have no idea that your thoughts and feelings are different to

theirs. I think this is one reason why they can get so frustrated - how can

you possibly NOT understand how they are feeling?

in England

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

It does sound similar to ASD to me also but I am not a dr! All I can

add is that Toby also finds it very hard to get his feelings acros

and can get quite agressive about little thigs. He will also seem to

start fights with his sister but then gets totally devistated if she

reacts, almost as though he doesn't realize what he has done. He

doesn't understand the consequencies of things.

Sherryxx

> Jabari our 8 yr old has alot of anger issues and very unsure of

himself. He was diagnosed with ODD about 2 months ago. I look at

him and he has certain characteristics as ADHD / AS and

ADHD / AS tendencies by my observation not the Dr.'s. He

gets frustrated very easy. At times I don't think he really knows

why he is angry. When his schedule is interupted he starts his

meltdowns. If this happens at school by the time he gets home he is

like a time bomb. At times I am afraid to ask him how was your day.

If I let him know a day in advance he is fine. But if I spring it on

him he loses it. There has been many times that he has gone to bed

early because when he gets in his " mood " nothing can calm him. Most

of the time he sleeps it off. I have been bringing him into my bed

after Marvin leaves for work and cuddle with him till it is time for

him to get up. That has helped him get his day off to a good start.

He is very self concious of how he looks and if he feels threatened

he will joke about it. He has gotten to the point of acting the

tough guy with Geoffrey (12 yrs old) and picks fights as well as

starts them then he will lie about it. He gets devastated very easy

too. If he realizes what he had done he is completely overwhelmed

and ends up crying himself to sleep. I can see that he has a caring

heart and he loves us all. It is almost as if he can't get his

feelings out the way he wants to. He tends to want to give up if he

can't figure it out himself. And he does not want to ask for help

either. Does this sound like AS. The Dr. told us there might be

some Bi Polar. He had labs done and everything looked normal. That

is why I started thinking AS because with & all of

the tests that were done on them came back normal. had and

EKG, EEG, MRI, CBC and Urinalysis and all was normal. Jabari Has

had CBC and Urinalysis (and yes it was normal). Does Bi Polar show

on labs? He does not say that he hears voices or that he has

thoughts of hurting himself or others. But he has hurt his brothers

physically. He throws tantrums when he does not get his way. For

this we do not give in. I have been consistent since he was 2 1/2

years old. People called it the terrible two's. Well it never

left. I would really appreciate anyone's advice on this. Thanks for

listening.

>

> Dawn Mom of 4.....

[Guest guest]

what is the name of the book? I might be able to find it in one of the libraries in our library network.

Dawn

Re: Question?????

Hi Dawn,>>It is almost as if he can't get his feelings out the way he wants to. <<This is a very good way of putting it and sounds like ASD to me! One oftheir biggest problems is that they cannot recognise their own feelings, anddo not know how to express them. I would suggest doing some work on feelingswith him - there is something about it in Tony Attwood's book. It islearning that there are gradations of feeling, you can be a little bithappy/sad/angry, and show it by ..., or you can be a lot and show it by ...Also, there is learning that other people have feelings which may bedifferent to your own, and whom you can affect by the way you act. Becausethey often have no idea that your thoughts and feelings are different totheirs. I think this is one reason why they can get so frustrated - how canyou possibly NOT understand how they are feeling? in England

[Guest guest]

Oh Dear Dawn,

You just described my Hannah to a "T"!! Hannah has been diagnosised Aspergers as of a couple months ago now I guess. We took her off medicine about a month ago, I let the darn teachers influence my decision on that. I felt the medicine was working well on her concentration but was not helping with her picking like we had hoped. The teachers informed me the straterra didn't make a difference in school and after a big picking episode around easter I sadly took her off the medicine. Hated to give the child medicine if it wasn't working. Well... here we are about three or four weeks later and guess what... Hannahs TSS started with her yesterday although she had been in her class room with another child for most of this year so she has been around her alot. She informed me that for the last two or three weeks now Hannah has really changed and she is crying at least twice a day having melt downs and throwing fits. Which is exactly what I started noticed at home also. She doesn't want to do what you want her to and fights about it and than when she has to do it anyways or gets punished for not doing it she will cry and cry. Than there is the sleeping thing... this is also a way Hannah seems to cope. I have found that the school is also letting her sleep also, they think she is just tired... when in fact the child is very upset, she can't seem to concentrate and do what she wants and is frustrated. So now I have problems with her sleeping at night for me. At times at home when she gets too bad I will just say go to your room and she will lay down and sleep it off and wake up fine again. Hannah is 9 by the way. And I'm alittle upset with the school. She hadn't taken such terrible fits for me in quite a while. Both the Wellbutrin and especially the Strattera works well for them. We had hoped for better results with her picking but she still has some trouble with that. It is related to anxiety she has... but she can't seem to tell me what bothers her. She doesn't mean to hurt her sisters but she too will pick and all when she is frustrated. She has alot of trouble expressing herself especially emotions so she does other things to get her point accross. Tearing up Alison's just finished artwork... taking the baby's toy... stealing someones chair if they get up for a second. Just mainly aggitating stuff. To me she will also destroy things, she has put oil in my tea kettle, etc... she likes to dump and mix things. Hannah's communication skills are her give away that something is not quite right, other than that she looks and acts like any other kid her age. I think they just get worse because she is realizing the difference between being on the med and off. She stutters around a little looking for words but on the med was able to express herself somewhat. Right now she can barely get a word out. I should have went with my gut and left her on the meds when I thought she was doing fine. I do believe the school now sees that there was an improvement on the meds. She starts back on this morning so hopefully she will calm down again shortly. She has found it hard to do alot of the things she likes to do normally becuase I have noticed that she doesn't do anything anymore but the aggitation. Her school work is up and down, some things very good others not so good, but that could be any kid. It sounds alot like he may have the AS to me but I am new to this all. Just wanted to let you know how much he sounded like my Hannah. Have a good day up there Dawn!!

Angie

Question?????

Jabari our 8 yr old has alot of anger issues and very unsure of himself. He was diagnosed with ODD about 2 months ago. I look at him and he has certain characteristics as ADHD / AS and ADHD / AS tendencies by my observation not the Dr.'s. He gets frustrated very easy. At times I don't think he really knows why he is angry. When his schedule is interupted he starts his meltdowns. If this happens at school by the time he gets home he is like a time bomb. At times I am afraid to ask him how was your day. If I let him know a day in advance he is fine. But if I spring it on him he loses it. There has been many times that he has gone to bed early because when he gets in his "mood" nothing can calm him. Most of the time he sleeps it off. I have been bringing him into my bed after Marvin leaves for work and cuddle with him till it is time for him to get up. That has helped him get his day off to a good start. He is very self concious of how he looks and if he feels threatened he will joke about it. He has gotten to the point of acting the tough guy with Geoffrey (12 yrs old) and picks fights as well as starts them then he will lie about it. He gets devastated very easy too. If he realizes what he had done he is completely overwhelmed and ends up crying himself to sleep. I can see that he has a caring heart and he loves us all. It is almost as if he can't get his feelings out the way he wants to. He tends to want to give up if he can't figure it out himself. And he does not want to ask for help either. Does this sound like AS. The Dr. told us there might be some Bi Polar. He had labs done and everything looked normal. That is why I started thinking AS because with & all of the tests that were done on them came back normal. had and EKG, EEG, MRI, CBC and Urinalysis and all was normal. Jabari Has had CBC and Urinalysis (and yes it was normal). Does Bi Polar show on labs? He does not say that he hears voices or that he has thoughts of hurting himself or others. But he has hurt his brothers physically. He throws tantrums when he does not get his way. For this we do not give in. I have been consistent since he was 2 1/2 years old. People called it the terrible two's. Well it never left. I would really appreciate anyone's advice on this. Thanks for listening.

Dawn Mom of 4.....

[Guest guest]

This also sounds exactly like my Hannah!!!

He will also seem to start fights with his sister but then gets totally devistated if she reacts, almost as though he doesn't realize what he has done. He doesn't understand the consequencies of things.

Re: Question?????

Hi Dawn,It does sound similar to ASD to me also but I am not a dr! All I can add is that Toby also finds it very hard to get his feelings acros and can get quite agressive about little thigs. He will also seem to start fights with his sister but then gets totally devistated if she reacts, almost as though he doesn't realize what he has done. He doesn't understand the consequencies of things.Sherryxx> Jabari our 8 yr old has alot of anger issues and very unsure of himself. He was diagnosed with ODD about 2 months ago. I look at him and he has certain characteristics as ADHD / AS and ADHD / AS tendencies by my observation not the Dr.'s. He gets frustrated very easy. At times I don't think he really knows why he is angry. When his schedule is interupted he starts his meltdowns. If this happens at school by the time he gets home he is like a time bomb. At times I am afraid to ask him how was your day. If I let him know a day in advance he is fine. But if I spring it on him he loses it. There has been many times that he has gone to bed early because when he gets in his "mood" nothing can calm him. Most of the time he sleeps it off. I have been bringing him into my bed after Marvin leaves for work and cuddle with him till it is time for him to get up. That has helped him get his day off to a good start. He is very self concious of how he looks and if he feels threatened he will joke about it. He has gotten to the point of acting the tough guy with Geoffrey (12 yrs old) and picks fights as well as starts them then he will lie about it. He gets devastated very easy too. If he realizes what he had done he is completely overwhelmed and ends up crying himself to sleep. I can see that he has a caring heart and he loves us all. It is almost as if he can't get his feelings out the way he wants to. He tends to want to give up if he can't figure it out himself. And he does not want to ask for help either. Does this sound like AS. The Dr. told us there might be some Bi Polar. He had labs done and everything looked normal. That is why I started thinking AS because with & all of the tests that were done on them came back normal. had and EKG, EEG, MRI, CBC and Urinalysis and all was normal. Jabari Has had CBC and Urinalysis (and yes it was normal). Does Bi Polar show on labs? He does not say that he hears voices or that he has thoughts of hurting himself or others. But he has hurt his brothers physically. He throws tantrums when he does not get his way. For this we do not give in. I have been consistent since he was 2 1/2 years old. People called it the terrible two's. Well it never left. I would really appreciate anyone's advice on this. Thanks for listening.> > Dawn Mom of 4.....

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

It is called " Asperger's syndrome - a guide for parents and professionals "

by Tony Attwood, published by Kingsley.

[Guest guest]

hi thanks for getting back to me do any of you children have medicene from the doctor ? my daughter suffers from anxiety and can get quite stressed when things are not going to plan as we have to make an 8 hr train journey very soon and at the minute i am not looking forward to travelling with her and just wondered if there was anything to reduce the stress for her( and me) rergards heather from scotland ---- Original Message -----

From: sherry

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Tuesday, May 11, 2004 9:28 AM

Subject: Re: Question?????

Hi Dawn,It does sound similar to ASD to me also but I am not a dr! All I can add is that Toby also finds it very hard to get his feelings acros and can get quite agressive about little thigs. He will also seem to start fights with his sister but then gets totally devistated if she reacts, almost as though he doesn't realize what he has done. He doesn't understand the consequencies of things.Sherryxx> Jabari our 8 yr old has alot of anger issues and very unsure of himself. He was diagnosed with ODD about 2 months ago. I look at him and he has certain characteristics as ADHD / AS and ADHD / AS tendencies by my observation not the Dr.'s. He gets frustrated very easy. At times I don't think he really knows why he is angry. When his schedule is interupted he starts his meltdowns. If this happens at school by the time he gets home he is like a time bomb. At times I am afraid to ask him how was your day. If I let him know a day in advance he is fine. But if I spring it on him he loses it. There has been many times that he has gone to bed early because when he gets in his "mood" nothing can calm him. Most of the time he sleeps it off. I have been bringing him into my bed after Marvin leaves for work and cuddle with him till it is time for him to get up. That has helped him get his day off to a good start. He is very self concious of how he looks and if he feels threatened he will joke about it. He has gotten to the point of acting the tough guy with Geoffrey (12 yrs old) and picks fights as well as starts them then he will lie about it. He gets devastated very easy too. If he realizes what he had done he is completely overwhelmed and ends up crying himself to sleep. I can see that he has a caring heart and he loves us all. It is almost as if he can't get his feelings out the way he wants to. He tends to want to give up if he can't figure it out himself. And he does not want to ask for help either. Does this sound like AS. The Dr. told us there might be some Bi Polar. He had labs done and everything looked normal. That is why I started thinking AS because with & all of the tests that were done on them came back normal. had and EKG, EEG, MRI, CBC and Urinalysis and all was normal. Jabari Has had CBC and Urinalysis (and yes it was normal). Does Bi Polar show on labs? He does not say that he hears voices or that he has thoughts of hurting himself or others. But he has hurt his brothers physically. He throws tantrums when he does not get his way. For this we do not give in. I have been consistent since he was 2 1/2 years old. People called it the terrible two's. Well it never left. I would really appreciate anyone's advice on this. Thanks for listening.> > Dawn Mom of 4.....

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I haven't had to give any meds yet! But for long journeys we take

Gameboys, colouring books and lots of his favorite foods!!

Toby quite likes journeys and finds lots of interesting things to dee

out of the windows! Especially when the train goes really fast I

think to him it looks like things when they are spinning!

sherryxx

> > Jabari our 8 yr old has alot of anger issues and very unsure of

> himself. He was diagnosed with ODD about 2 months ago. I look

at

> him and he has certain characteristics as ADHD / AS and

> ADHD / AS tendencies by my observation not the Dr.'s.

He

> gets frustrated very easy. At times I don't think he really

knows

> why he is angry. When his schedule is interupted he starts his

> meltdowns. If this happens at school by the time he gets home he

is

> like a time bomb. At times I am afraid to ask him how was your

day.

> If I let him know a day in advance he is fine. But if I spring

it on

> him he loses it. There has been many times that he has gone to

bed

> early because when he gets in his " mood " nothing can calm him.

Most

> of the time he sleeps it off. I have been bringing him into my

bed

> after Marvin leaves for work and cuddle with him till it is time

for

> him to get up. That has helped him get his day off to a good

start.

> He is very self concious of how he looks and if he feels

threatened

> he will joke about it. He has gotten to the point of acting the

> tough guy with Geoffrey (12 yrs old) and picks fights as well as

> starts them then he will lie about it. He gets devastated very

easy

> too. If he realizes what he had done he is completely

overwhelmed

> and ends up crying himself to sleep. I can see that he has a

caring

> heart and he loves us all. It is almost as if he can't get his

> feelings out the way he wants to. He tends to want to give up if

he

> can't figure it out himself. And he does not want to ask for

help

> either. Does this sound like AS. The Dr. told us there might be

> some Bi Polar. He had labs done and everything looked normal.

That

> is why I started thinking AS because with & all

of

> the tests that were done on them came back normal. had

and

> EKG, EEG, MRI, CBC and Urinalysis and all was normal. Jabari

Has

> had CBC and Urinalysis (and yes it was normal). Does Bi Polar

show

> on labs? He does not say that he hears voices or that he has

> thoughts of hurting himself or others. But he has hurt his

brothers

> physically. He throws tantrums when he does not get his way.

For

> this we do not give in. I have been consistent since he was 2

1/2

> years old. People called it the terrible two's. Well it never

> left. I would really appreciate anyone's advice on this. Thanks

for

> listening.

> >

> > Dawn Mom of 4.....

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dawn,

I'm sorry...I have no advice but I do have empathy. Been there, done that. Beth would sit at the table for HOURS each night, moving inch by inch through homework IF at all. We usually had to sit with her and prompt her to get it done....night after night. She couldn't do it herself. I think it was not that she wouldn't I think it was that she couldn't. She went to a christian school with strong academic expectations, so she had homework even starting in K-1st grade. So for 7 years we did that. Now in the spec ed school...no more homework! Ever! And I am so relieved. It wasn't ever homework for her but homework for US.

Not much motivated her either...bribes, etc. It was very difficult!

maralee

-----Original Message-----From: Dawn Sent: Tuesday, June 08, 2004 7:05 AMTo: autism-aspergers Subject: Question?????

I have been having trouble keeping on task.

It takes him 1 hour to write 1 definition (homeschooled vocabulary/spelling).

That would be fine if it were just that. But he needs to get caught up and appears to not want to do it.

I can get him to do 3 in an hour if I am there on top of things and reminding him.

I told him as soon as he gets caught up then Vocabulary/Spelling will be done for the year.

That does nothing to motivate him.

He tells me his medication is not working (concerta).

He has been on a lot of different meds and after a couple of months they stop working.

His first medication was Imipramine and it worked wonders.

Only his Dr. at the time said that it elevated his blood pressure.

Would not say what his BP was only it was high.

That was the same Dr. that did not know the side effects of Clonidine.

They also never got a baseline BP when he had started him on the med.

Is there anything that I can do personally to help motivate him.

I even tried bribing him with Ships and boats.

At this point I am really getting frustrated.

Any help would be appreciated.

Dawn.....Mom of 4

[Guest guest]

Dawn wrote:

> That could get tiresome. I only get doubles from this group. have a

> good week.

>

Gee, I feel left out! I only get one per person.......

Annie, who loves ya annie@...

--

We have enough youth .... How about a fountain of smart? -- Skoge