Re: Please keep my aunt in you thoughts (OT)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/31/00 4:08:24 PM Eastern Standard Time,

shanabrook@... writes:

<< So, just keep her in your

thoughts. I know this is off topic, but I know a lot of you have

experienced the death of a pet recently and would understand.

>>

I am so sorry ! I will keep your aunt in my prayers. She sounds like

an incredibly strong woman. I can't begin to imagine the pain of losing a

husband. And then to lose a pet too... I know how painful that is. I will

keep her in my prayers.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 01/31/2000 4:08:20 PM Eastern Standard Time,

shanabrook@... writes:

<< I

know she thinks that her life will never again be anything but empty,

and I'm hoping that someway, somehow she will have the strength and

courage to find some joy in her life. >>

you know ,

even folks who haven't been thru what she has been thru with the shocking

death of her husband, have a tough time during this time of life when kids

are grown and starting to leave the nest, especially if a stay at home mom.

It is a real transition from feeling like others need her to feeling unneeded

and without focus. Some see it as a rebirth and a chance to develop new

interests; others see it as their best years are over and it is all downhill

from here. The internet and Tae-Bo gave me the self-interests I needed to

refocus on myself and the rest of my life cuz I had quit my job just as my

older son was pulling away.

Has there ever been any thought of your aunt visiting you?

Now that her dog is gone; perhaps, a change of scenary may help her and give

her something to look forward to

Barb

who hopes your aunt finds something that stimulates her and keeps her

interested in getting out of bed each morning

[Guest guest]

, I'm really sorry to hear about Midnight. Pets to most people are

important members of the family. I know it must have been an extremely

difficult decision for your Aunt. Despite her difficult times she is extremely

lucky to have you looking out for her.

In a message dated Mon, 31 Jan 2000 4:08:22 PM Eastern Standard Time, "

Owens " writes:

> My aunt had to have her dog put to sleep today. It's actually the dog

> I grew up with, too...his name is Midnight and he was 13 years old.

> His paw had gotten infected and she had been giving him antibiotics for

> it, but it had really gotten infected. He had kind of been going

> downhill temperment wise and she couldn't even look at...even when they

> took him to the vet, he had to be muzzled and tied down because he

> tried to bite the vet. He was really hard for my aunt to take care of

> because he was getting so old and she was worried about him biting

> somebody if he ever got loose. Anyway, when she took him to the vet,

> she kind of knew she might have to make a decision about whether or not

> she would have to put him down. The vet told her that he would have to

> amputate Midnight's foot because the infection had spread up his leg.

> He advised her to put him down and that's what she did, but I know it

> is very hard for her.

>

> For those of you who are new to the group, I grew up with my aunt and

> uncle from the time I was ten because both of my parents were killed by

> a drunk driver. In May, my uncle committed suicide and it was a total

> shock to our entire family, especially my aunt. My uncle was the last

> person in the world you would ever have expected to do this, and I

> think my aunt even might not be accepting it. I think in the back of

> her mind, she thinks there has to be another explanation and there are

> questions that have no answers, so it's hard because we'll never really

> know what happened. Anyway, that is why I come visit her so often,

> because she is all alone now (her son is a senior in college so he

> isn't living at home) and now for her to have to put the dog to sleep,

> it's just another thing that is making her feel guilty. She seems to

> be doing ok...I know she " knows " it was the best and only decision to

> be made, but that doesn't stop her from feeling guilty about it. I

> know she thinks that her life will never again be anything but empty,

> and I'm hoping that someway, somehow she will have the strength and

> courage to find some joy in her life. So, just keep her in your

> thoughts. I know this is off topic, but I know a lot of you have

> experienced the death of a pet recently and would understand.

>

>

> who really doesn't understand the events that happen in our lives

> sometimes, but knows there is a greater plan and a reason we go through

> what we go through

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> " We are all athletes in training for life rather than overweight folks trying

to drop some pounds temporarily cuz Haste doe not make a Waist "

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/31/00 4:08:23 PM Eastern Standard Time,

shanabrook@... writes:

<< I

know she thinks that her life will never again be anything but empty,

and I'm hoping that someway, somehow she will have the strength and

courage to find some joy in her life. So, just keep her in your

thoughts. I know this is off topic, but I know a lot of you have

experienced the death of a pet recently and would understand.

who really doesn't understand the events that happen in our lives

sometimes, but knows there is a greater plan and a reason we go through

what we go through >>

what a sad story. My thoughts and prayers will be with your aunt and

you also! {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Guest guest]

, I am so sorry for your aunt. When I went to a support group

after my sister died, people who had never cried after the loss of a

spouse broke down when their pets got old and died. It's just too much

loss to handle. Barb's idea is good -- invite her to Tennessee. Would

she be interested in going to the Feb. tapings? I'll be thinking about

the both of you.

Elena

[Guest guest]

-I'm truly sorry to hear that your aunt had to put Midnight

down. I know first hand how difficult this decision is to make.

Would you mind emailing me personally? I would like to touch base

with you.

Thanks!

Debbie

[Guest guest]

>

>

> who really doesn't understand the events that happen in our lives

> sometimes, but knows there is a greater plan and a reason we go

through

> what we go through

>

Hi ,

My heart and prayers go out to you and your aunt. It is fortunate

that you are there for her now. You might want to check around for a

community support group for her before you leave. She might be more

willing to go if you can go to the first one with her.

It is so difficult to be the person that makes the decision to end

our pets lives, but she did make the right choice.

A friend of mine had a dog that was suffering dementia, his

temperment got worse as he aged, but she couldn't bring herself to put

him down. She thought that as long as she kept him away from other

people that it would be ok. One morning she walked past him while he

was sleeping and he attacked her. He tore tendons in her foot and leg

and caused permanent injury. She was in the hospital when he was put

down. In retrospect she says that she should have taken the vets advice

and put him down before something like that happened.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 01/31/2000 10:23:53 PM Eastern Standard Time,

shanabrook@... writes:

<< I tried showing her a website for

survivors of suicide because she hasn't gone to a therapist or anyone

to talk about all of this and I thought she would really benefit from

hearing that others are feeling the same things as her, but she never

got into it. I've printed some stuff off and sent it to her and I'll

just keep mentioning these things that I find out on the computer in

the hopes that one day, she'll have the interest to sit down and try it

out. >>

keep trying cuz she is going thru various stages of grieving

and one day may be ready to start sharing her feelings with others.

Believe it or not, parents of a gay child do a similar process of grieving

cuz we lose the future expectations we had for that child

Barb

who is relieved your aunt has a job she likes and is surrounded by supportive

co-workers