Re: Preventing sexual abuse of our kids...how????

[Guest guest]

I think I know what you are talking about but forgot the name myself. In my

research I came across something where you used red and green to help

explain good touch and bad touch. I will see if I can find it again.

Carol

In a message dated 3/12/2008 2:00:58 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

charlyne1121@... writes:

I can't remember the name of the specific program that deals with touching,

something like the circle.

**************It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms, and advice on AOL Money &

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[Guest guest]

Hi Joni,

Planned Parenthood, a nationwide organization, provides sexuality classes to

people with disabilities. I would call your nearest center to see if they can

offer you and your son information to meet his needs. I believe they can offer

the assistance that you are looking for in this area. Opps, I just realized that

he is only 9. Most of their programs are for the teens and adults. I also want

to remind you that the school has a responsibility to provide your son with

information and teach him the skills that will keep him safe. There are many

programs geared specifically for students with disabilities that a school social

worker should be aware of an familiar with. I can't remember the name of the

specific program that deals with touching, something like the circle.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 15 DS/OCD/ASD?

Hammond wrote: The Down

Syndrome & Autistic Spectrum (dHello, all...

We recently learned that a man who had been our son's behavioral respite worker

last spring has been arrested on numerous charges of molestation (involving 3,

so far, boys under the age of 14). As far as we know, Gabe was not

molested...but I don't think we'll ever know for sure. is non-verbal,

and couldn't tell us if something inappropriate went on with this man. We do

know that there was opportunity. The man had worked with kids---both

typically-developing and with disabilities--- in several different capacities

(incl. assistant youth pastor, camp counselor, and teacher's assistant), and had

been screened by three different agencies. I know he's not yet been convicted,

but it's not looking good.

This is an issue that has been at the back of my mind for years, and now it's

at the forefront. How do you teach your kid, who's been accustomed to having

caregivers helping with hygiene issues, what is and isn't appopriate touch? How

do you teach them to protest if they're not being treated appropriately? My

typically-developing kids have attended seminars on this very topic, but I've

not yet seen one offered for parents of kids with developmental disabilities

(I've asked, strongly, that the Regional Center offer one asap).

What do you all do with respite workers? Employ only trusted friends or family

members? Conduct your own background checks? Not do respite at all? Do your best

and hope for the best?

Do you know of any online resources that offer information to parents on this

topic?

I could make myself crazy thinking about this issue, and the particulars of

this case with Gabe's past respite worker, if I don't take some action. So

please, pass on any info or suggestions that you have! Gabe will need some level

of assistance all of his life; I need to know that there are things we can do

now that will help keep him safe.

Joni and kids in CA, incl. , 9, Ds and autism

[Guest guest]

Warm hello to all,

I so relate. My child is 12 going on 13 (May) and I too am terrified

about someone hurting/abusing him..and not being able to tell us...or

get help..

A few years ago I purchased a DVD for my son who is non verbal, ds

and has many characteristics found thru-out the many posts here.

My child watched this over & over with me and later with my first

grandchildren. We would all practise..and when my granddaugther was

around 2ish, she was able to solemnly explain what " safeside " was to

her parents after seeing it only a couple of times.

When we go to the park, and they stray abit, all I have to do is say

(or yell) " safeside " & they come back. For my child DJ, most of the

time, it acts as a cue (grr-not always..but more often than before we

got the dvd)

Many nights, this is his requested bedtime movie.

I will probably have him watch it for the rest of his life...and

practise all their examples.

I highly recommend this dvd to ALL parents of children. There is now

a companion dvd regarding internet safety (which we don't need..yet)

Title of dvd:

STRANGER SAFETY (the safe side)

Created by , founder of Baby Einstein

and

Walsh, host of America's Mosted Wanted.

I purchase this from Amazon to give as no reason gifts to special

little people in my life. I believe it is under $20.

Trust me your children will get a kick out of it, not be frightened &

there are rewards (star badges) to promote using safe tips...

Peace. And biggest hugs to all.

Kris

>

> The Down Syndrome & Autistic Spectrum (dHello, all...

>

> We recently learned that a man who had been our son's behavioral

respite worker last spring has been arrested on numerous charges of

molestation (involving 3, so far, boys under the age of 14). As far

as we know, Gabe was not molested...but I don't think we'll ever know

for sure. is non-verbal, and couldn't tell us if something

inappropriate went on with this man. We do know that there was

opportunity. The man had worked with kids---both typically-developing

and with disabilities--- in several different capacities (incl.

assistant youth pastor, camp counselor, and teacher's assistant), and

had been screened by three different agencies. I know he's not yet

been convicted, but it's not looking good.

>

> This is an issue that has been at the back of my mind for years,

and now it's at the forefront. How do you teach your kid, who's been

accustomed to having caregivers helping with hygiene issues, what is

and isn't appopriate touch? How do you teach them to protest if

they're not being treated appropriately? My typically-developing kids

have attended seminars on this very topic, but I've not yet seen one

offered for parents of kids with developmental disabilities (I've

asked, strongly, that the Regional Center offer one asap).

>

> What do you all do with respite workers? Employ only trusted

friends or family members? Conduct your own background checks? Not do

respite at all? Do your best and hope for the best?

>

> Do you know of any online resources that offer information to

parents on this topic?

>

> I could make myself crazy thinking about this issue, and the

particulars of this case with Gabe's past respite worker, if I don't

take some action. So please, pass on any info or suggestions that you

have! Gabe will need some level of assistance all of his life; I need

to know that there are things we can do now that will help keep him

safe.

>

> Joni and kids in CA, incl. , 9, Ds and autism

>

>

[Guest guest]

Joni, I think you would have known. All of our kids act differently

if something changes drastically for them.Example-My son started

coming home from school with soaking wet pull ups like he had been

swimming and bruise.Then next thing is he started fighting me over

going to school in the mornings.He would say no and throw himsself on

the floor.I had him removed from that situation the next year and

after a month the behaviors disappeared.Then he got bit at school and

the next day he told me no after I said lets get ready for school.My

son is pretty much totally non-verbal.He can say no, mean, dad,

mom,and eat when he wants to not all the time.Just like you know when

your kid is sick you will know this I am sure and probably right

away.A mother suspected something was going on the bus her child rode

and she put a small tape recoder in her sons pocket and sure enough

the bus driver and assistant were teasing her kid about radio he got

for Christmas.The mother started a web address at safebus.com.I only

use respite workers that have worked with him at school.That does not

mean these people are not capable of what you are afraid of but I

just feel better because they people know my son the best and how to

deal with his difficult behaviors.Maybe you could find a trustworthy

respite worker in your community that works at a home with adult

disabled persons. I hope this helps. Cyndi B

>

> Warm hello to all,

> I so relate. My child is 12 going on 13 (May) and I too am

terrified

> about someone hurting/abusing him..and not being able to tell

us...or

> get help..

>

> A few years ago I purchased a DVD for my son who is non verbal, ds

> and has many characteristics found thru-out the many posts here.

>

> My child watched this over & over with me and later with my first

> grandchildren. We would all practise..and when my granddaugther

was

> around 2ish, she was able to solemnly explain what " safeside " was

to

> her parents after seeing it only a couple of times.

>

> When we go to the park, and they stray abit, all I have to do is

say

> (or yell) " safeside " & they come back. For my child DJ, most of

the

> time, it acts as a cue (grr-not always..but more often than before

we

> got the dvd)

>

> Many nights, this is his requested bedtime movie.

>

> I will probably have him watch it for the rest of his life...and

> practise all their examples.

>

> I highly recommend this dvd to ALL parents of children. There is

now

> a companion dvd regarding internet safety (which we don't need..yet)

>

> Title of dvd:

> STRANGER SAFETY (the safe side)

> Created by , founder of Baby Einstein

> and

> Walsh, host of America's Mosted Wanted.

>

> I purchase this from Amazon to give as no reason gifts to special

> little people in my life. I believe it is under $20.

>

> Trust me your children will get a kick out of it, not be frightened

&

> there are rewards (star badges) to promote using safe tips...

>

> Peace. And biggest hugs to all.

> Kris

>

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > The Down Syndrome & Autistic Spectrum (dHello, all...

> >

> > We recently learned that a man who had been our son's behavioral

> respite worker last spring has been arrested on numerous charges of

> molestation (involving 3, so far, boys under the age of 14). As far

> as we know, Gabe was not molested...but I don't think we'll ever

know

> for sure. is non-verbal, and couldn't tell us if something

> inappropriate went on with this man. We do know that there was

> opportunity. The man had worked with kids---both typically-

developing

> and with disabilities--- in several different capacities (incl.

> assistant youth pastor, camp counselor, and teacher's assistant),

and

> had been screened by three different agencies. I know he's not yet

> been convicted, but it's not looking good.

> >

> > This is an issue that has been at the back of my mind for years,

> and now it's at the forefront. How do you teach your kid, who's

been

> accustomed to having caregivers helping with hygiene issues, what

is

> and isn't appopriate touch? How do you teach them to protest if

> they're not being treated appropriately? My typically-developing

kids

> have attended seminars on this very topic, but I've not yet seen

one

> offered for parents of kids with developmental disabilities (I've

> asked, strongly, that the Regional Center offer one asap).

> >

> > What do you all do with respite workers? Employ only trusted

> friends or family members? Conduct your own background checks? Not

do

> respite at all? Do your best and hope for the best?

> >

> > Do you know of any online resources that offer information to

> parents on this topic?

> >

> > I could make myself crazy thinking about this issue, and the

> particulars of this case with Gabe's past respite worker, if I

don't

> take some action. So please, pass on any info or suggestions that

you

> have! Gabe will need some level of assistance all of his life; I

need

> to know that there are things we can do now that will help keep him

> safe.

> >

> > Joni and kids in CA, incl. , 9, Ds and autism

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Joni,

If you are not already familiar with the newsletter " Disability

Solutions " that Joan Medlen, the owner of this list published for

many years, you can still get them free online. There were two

issues back to back in 2001 that covered this topic, and the author

of those issues went on to write a book which you can get at Amazon

as well as other places:

http://www.disabilitysolutions.org/newsletters/volume4.html Vol. IV

issues 5 & 6

Teaching Children with Down Syndrome about Their Bodies, Boundaries,

and Sexuality (Topics in Down Syndrome) by Terri Couwenhoven

Another writer on sexuality and disability is Hingsburger . He

has a blog that is cited frequently just about disability issues, but

he has written very candidly (some say controversially) about

sexuality but he also is helpful with how to teach about staying

safe. The blog just gives you some idea of the range of his

writing; you need to go to the book site for info about his books.

http://davehingsburger.blogspot.com/

http://www.diverse-city.com Just Say Know! By Dave Hingsburger

Thanks for bringing this issue back up. It's one that stays with all

of us all life long.

Beth Pete's Mum (age 17, central Ohio)

[Guest guest]

I believe alot of the information being shared in regards to this

topic needs to be placed under the files, here on the list-serve.

Sorry not too computer savvy here.

Always a fear to deal with any type of sexual, physical or mental

abuse and not to forget about discrimination.

Irma,19,DS/ASD(TX)

[Guest guest]

Is this The Safeside Super chic? Too funny, watches everyday. He thinks

she is funny and she is!

Kris wrote: Warm hello to all,

I so relate. My child is 12 going on 13 (May) and I too am terrified

about someone hurting/abusing him..and not being able to tell us...or

get help..

A few years ago I purchased a DVD for my son who is non verbal, ds

and has many characteristics found thru-out the many posts here.

My child watched this over & over with me and later with my first

grandchildren. We would all practise..and when my granddaugther was

around 2ish, she was able to solemnly explain what " safeside " was to

her parents after seeing it only a couple of times.

When we go to the park, and they stray abit, all I have to do is say

(or yell) " safeside " & they come back. For my child DJ, most of the

time, it acts as a cue (grr-not always..but more often than before we

got the dvd)

Many nights, this is his requested bedtime movie.

I will probably have him watch it for the rest of his life...and

practise all their examples.

I highly recommend this dvd to ALL parents of children. There is now

a companion dvd regarding internet safety (which we don't need..yet)

Title of dvd:

STRANGER SAFETY (the safe side)

Created by , founder of Baby Einstein

and

Walsh, host of America's Mosted Wanted.

I purchase this from Amazon to give as no reason gifts to special

little people in my life. I believe it is under $20.

Trust me your children will get a kick out of it, not be frightened &

there are rewards (star badges) to promote using safe tips...

Peace. And biggest hugs to all.

Kris

>

> The Down Syndrome & Autistic Spectrum (dHello, all...

>

> We recently learned that a man who had been our son's behavioral

respite worker last spring has been arrested on numerous charges of

molestation (involving 3, so far, boys under the age of 14). As far

as we know, Gabe was not molested...but I don't think we'll ever know

for sure. is non-verbal, and couldn't tell us if something

inappropriate went on with this man. We do know that there was

opportunity. The man had worked with kids---both typically-developing

and with disabilities--- in several different capacities (incl.

assistant youth pastor, camp counselor, and teacher's assistant), and

had been screened by three different agencies. I know he's not yet

been convicted, but it's not looking good.

>

> This is an issue that has been at the back of my mind for years,

and now it's at the forefront. How do you teach your kid, who's been

accustomed to having caregivers helping with hygiene issues, what is

and isn't appopriate touch? How do you teach them to protest if

they're not being treated appropriately? My typically-developing kids

have attended seminars on this very topic, but I've not yet seen one

offered for parents of kids with developmental disabilities (I've

asked, strongly, that the Regional Center offer one asap).

>

> What do you all do with respite workers? Employ only trusted

friends or family members? Conduct your own background checks? Not do

respite at all? Do your best and hope for the best?

>

> Do you know of any online resources that offer information to

parents on this topic?

>

> I could make myself crazy thinking about this issue, and the

particulars of this case with Gabe's past respite worker, if I don't

take some action. So please, pass on any info or suggestions that you

have! Gabe will need some level of assistance all of his life; I need

to know that there are things we can do now that will help keep him

safe.

>

> Joni and kids in CA, incl. , 9, Ds and autism

>

>

[Guest guest]

I don't want to offend anyone, but here goes: while we do not always control

who comes into contact with our children, one thing you can do is to avoid

hiring a male unless you happen to always be there to observe. This, of course

is not possible with respite. Granted, females can also be sexually abusive

too, however, I don't think it is nearly as common.

Another thing you could do, if you have the money, is to install hidden

cameras in your home. These cameras are tiny & can be hidden nearly anywhere.

You can watch the film from any computer. My friend did this to check on her

nanny & was not pleased by what she saw.

M

---------------------------------

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

YES! Safeside Super Chick...you understand how this video would

appeal to many age ranges, not make a child feel threatened yet learn

how to be and stay safe in multiple situations.

I saw an interview that explained why each subject was presented &

how they used reinforcers thru out. BTW, Walsh is the parent

that lost his young son in a horrific way & is responsible for going

before congress & for the amber alert...

Safeside to all..Peace.

Kris

Warm hello to all,

>..

> Title of dvd/video:

> STRANGER SAFETY (the safe side)

> Created by , founder of Baby Einstein

> and

> Walsh, host of America's Mosted Wanted.

....

>

> Peace. And biggest hugs to all.

> Kris