Re: Dr. Phil/caution

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/15/2007 9:12:33 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

yulan@... writes:

I hope they do a bit better research than when they wrote out the blurb

above the form! " Asberger's " Syndrome?????

This is what concerns me. They probably only want to sensationalize the

situation. They will not do serious research. Keep in mind the show is about

sensationalism and making money. It is not about really helping people.

I don't want to put a damper on the excitement but.............

Be careful because they will twist words, take certain segments out of

context and make it a show that will sell.

I have been in touch with a few folks who have been on his show.

One was a homeschooler. They were told they could not bring their children

or family to the taping. The entire audience was set up with public school

students and administrators. Just a tad prejudice. So of course when the

audience was polled about whether they thought homeschooling should be illegal

almost everyone raised their hand. The homeschoolers words were taken out

of context. They showed pieces of taped segments that did not completely

include what being discussed. They were told the show would be about

alternative

education when in reality it ended up being a show to bash homeschooling.

Another woman I know went on a show about breastfeeding. Again, Dr. Phil's

agenda was not the one that was told to the moms who volunteered to be on the

show. She allowed them into her home to tape for a day. She explained that

most of the day was great, the children played , helped out and were well

behaved. There was ONE moment when the toddler insisted on climbing on moms

lap to tandem nurse with the new baby. She told me it lasted a few minutes

were he cried and she had to tell him to get down etc. Of course this was the

only taped segment that the show aired. Dr. Phil went on and on about how

nursing too long or tandem nursing will hurt the child etc etc.

So once again he ambushed his guests.

I just do not trust these types of shows. And I would be very leery of

going on one, especially when the advertise it as " ruining our marriage " . What

message is going to be sent to the parents who recently got an autism

diagnoses. It will not help them but only send them into despair.

Blessings, W

homeschooling Mom to AJ (12), (9), ^l^, (5,

Trisomy 18 mosaic AKA 's syndrome) and Birgitta (age 4, adoption

finalized 2/1/05 !!, Trisomy 21 AKA Down's Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,

Autism, SID)

************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at

http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour

[Guest guest]

: You are right, but I would make sure before agreeing to anything to get

a waiver signed stating that they cannot air the show prior to our viewing the

final cut. We DO NOT want bad press. We want to get the word out about our

kids and how lives are affected by Autism.

Liz

Re: Dr. Phil/caution

In a message dated 8/15/2007 9:12:33 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

yulan@... writes:

I hope they do a bit better research than when they wrote out the blurb

above the form! " Asberger's " Syndrome?????

This is what concerns me. They probably only want to sensationalize the

situation. They will not do serious research. Keep in mind the show is about

sensationalism and making money. It is not about really helping people.

I don't want to put a damper on the excitement but.............

Be careful because they will twist words, take certain segments out of

context and make it a show that will sell.

I have been in touch with a few folks who have been on his show.

One was a homeschooler. They were told they could not bring their children

or family to the taping. The entire audience was set up with public school

students and administrators. Just a tad prejudice. So of course when the

audience was polled about whether they thought homeschooling should be illegal

almost everyone raised their hand. The homeschoolers words were taken out

of context. They showed pieces of taped segments that did not completely

include what being discussed. They were told the show would be about

alternative

education when in reality it ended up being a show to bash homeschooling.

Another woman I know went on a show about breastfeeding. Again, Dr. Phil's

agenda was not the one that was told to the moms who volunteered to be on the

show. She allowed them into her home to tape for a day. She explained that

most of the day was great, the children played , helped out and were well

behaved. There was ONE moment when the toddler insisted on climbing on moms

lap to tandem nurse with the new baby. She told me it lasted a few minutes

were he cried and she had to tell him to get down etc. Of course this was the

only taped segment that the show aired. Dr. Phil went on and on about how

nursing too long or tandem nursing will hurt the child etc etc.

So once again he ambushed his guests.

I just do not trust these types of shows. And I would be very leery of

going on one, especially when the advertise it as " ruining our marriage " . What

message is going to be sent to the parents who recently got an autism

diagnoses. It will not help them but only send them into despair.

Blessings, W

homeschooling Mom to AJ (12), (9), ^l^, (5,

Trisomy 18 mosaic AKA 's syndrome) and Birgitta (age 4, adoption

finalized 2/1/05 !!, Trisomy 21 AKA Down's Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,

Autism, SID)

************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at

http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour

[Guest guest]

<<I just do not trust these types of shows. And I would be very leery of

going on one, especially when the advertise it as " ruining our marriage " . What

message is going to be sent to the parents who recently got an autism

diagnoses. It will not help them but only send them into despair. >>

I have to agree with , and I know you are being very cautious Liz. I used

to love this show but in the last year or two it has turned into a Jerry

Springer sensationalized knockdown. I won't even watch it anymore. It's all

shock value.

JMO

Sherry

[Guest guest]

I was wondering why they couldn't tell the stories about how parenting

a child with a disability (or two!) can actually make your marriage

stronger! Ha! I guess nobody would watch that... oh well.

[Guest guest]

LOL...you are too funny, !

Re: Dr. Phil/caution

I was wondering why they couldn't tell the stories about how parenting

a child with a disability (or two!) can actually make your marriage

stronger! Ha! I guess nobody would watch that... oh well.

[Guest guest]

Me too. I went to the site and was turned off that they only seem to want the

stories of how autism destroys marriages. What does that do to the image of

children on the spectrum? That they are the homewreckers, burdens too awful to

bear without family destruction. I'd feel a lot better if they had marriages

made even stronger, too. Ours isn't perfect but unites us as a family much

more than he tears it apart. He's our joy. He makes us laugh (not always

appropriately, but who cares). (Although I admit his floppy refusal to walk out

of therapy when my hands were full made me not too joyful today!) Not too newsy

or dramatic, I guess, but I worry about what their proposed show could do to our

kids.

I too used to like Dr. Phil, but now he seems all about sensationalism and

parading " dysfunctional " people in front of America for our entertainment. I am

pretty sure they would never let their guests see their coverage choices before

the show. Journalists never show their stories to the sources before they are

printed/aired, and I would think this is no different. So I agree, I'd be

cautious with this.

Beth, mom to , age 7, with DS, autism, and a leukemia survivor; also mom to

, 14, and , 11 (and I'm putting off the work I said I'd be doing late

tonight!)

Re: Dr. Phil/caution

I was wondering why they couldn't tell the stories about how parenting

a child with a disability (or two!) can actually make your marriage

stronger! Ha! I guess nobody would watch that... oh well.

[Guest guest]

Dear Friends,

Well, I'd like to weigh here about Dr. Phil or any show that could be

used to bring about awareness of families who have children with

DS-ASD.

First of all, what is it we would like to accomplish? Public

awareness? Of what? Of how kids with DS /ASD are more like families

who have kids with ASD? To explain that kids with DS/ASD are not

like kids with " just " DS? (If that is the case, do we REALLY believe

that the rest of the world has a clue about life with kids with ANY

disabilities?)

Once we have opened our doors to the rest of the world, does anyone

think that a balanced, fair-minded snapshot of a day in our lives

could be possible? Do we want people to end up feeling sorry for how

tough some of our home lives our? Or do would we not want to show

the world that despite the challenges, our kids can live a life that

is fulfilling for them and meaningful for their families and

communities as well?

Do we want to help families who have kids with DS learn to be aware

of the signs of autism, and how early dx and intervention can help?

Do any of us think that could be accomplished on Dr. Phil?

Like others have mentioned, I know of some folks who have been on

some talk shows- heck, even our local news shows here in Columbus OH.

The first thing that happens is that once you open your life to

inspection by the rest of the world, EVERYONE has an opinion about

you. EVERYONE. Even the most benign topic of discussion opens up

your private life to someone else judging what they think you

have/haven't done, what you should/shouldn't do, what you look like,

where you live, how you talk, what your child looks like, what your

home looks like, etc. etc.

And once it's put out there on tv or cyberspace, you can't pull it

back off. You will be fodder for gossip for anyone who happens upon

the channel, You Tube, etc.

Among the autism community that I dip into occasionally, everyone has

an opinion about whether families should/shouldn't use

ABA/meds/special diets/segregated/inclusive school programs/etc etc.

etc. when an article highlighting someone appears in a community

newspaper.

Even that short video put out by " Autism Speaks " that shows kids with

very challenging behaviors angered a lot of folks who have kids with

autism- they said, " That doesn't depict MY child/life " and thought it

too skewed towards showing a negative view only.

Do we really want to subject our precious children to the prying eyes

of the rest of the world? WE can speak up for ourselves. Our kids

can't.

I say, be careful about what you ask for. You may get way more than

you bargained for, regretfully.

Also, as a note to all members: No one from any tv program,

university, hospital, research program, newspaper, etc., would ever

be allowed free access to our list archives in order to do research

or writing based on the things that we have shared with one another

here. Since membership is closely moderated to protect everyone's

privacy, no one from Dr. Phil, Oprah Winfrey, or any other such

program could join the list in order to read up on what our lives are

like and then do a show. Anyone can be directed to the Disability

Solutions issue on DS-ASD, or to contact Capone or Bonnie

.

You know how the commercials go- " what happens in Las Vegas stays in

Las Vegas " ? Well, the same goes for this list. Yes, I feel very

passionate about this list! And I think we need to protect one

anothers' privacy so that everyone feels safe sharing here. Many of

us have huge burdens to bear and I don't want anyone to feel that

that their privacy could be compromised.

God Bless Us, Every One!

Beth Mum of Pete, age 17, central Ohio

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the great perspective. I wouldn't want my comments here copied and

sent somewhere else without my permission.

Re: Dr. Phil/caution

Dear Friends,

Well, I'd like to weigh here about Dr. Phil or any show that could be

used to bring about awareness of families who have children with

DS-ASD.

First of all, what is it we would like to accomplish? Public

awareness? Of what? Of how kids with DS /ASD are more like families

who have kids with ASD? To explain that kids with DS/ASD are not

like kids with " just " DS? (If that is the case, do we REALLY believe

that the rest of the world has a clue about life with kids with ANY

disabilities?)

Once we have opened our doors to the rest of the world, does anyone

think that a balanced, fair-minded snapshot of a day in our lives

could be possible? Do we want people to end up feeling sorry for how

tough some of our home lives our? Or do would we not want to show

the world that despite the challenges, our kids can live a life that

is fulfilling for them and meaningful for their families and

communities as well?

Do we want to help families who have kids with DS learn to be aware

of the signs of autism, and how early dx and intervention can help?

Do any of us think that could be accomplished on Dr. Phil?

Like others have mentioned, I know of some folks who have been on

some talk shows- heck, even our local news shows here in Columbus OH.

The first thing that happens is that once you open your life to

inspection by the rest of the world, EVERYONE has an opinion about

you. EVERYONE. Even the most benign topic of discussion opens up

your private life to someone else judging what they think you

have/haven't done, what you should/shouldn't do, what you look like,

where you live, how you talk, what your child looks like, what your

home looks like, etc. etc.

And once it's put out there on tv or cyberspace, you can't pull it

back off. You will be fodder for gossip for anyone who happens upon

the channel, You Tube, etc.

Among the autism community that I dip into occasionally, everyone has

an opinion about whether families should/shouldn't use

ABA/meds/special diets/segregated/inclusive school programs/etc etc.

etc. when an article highlighting someone appears in a community

newspaper.

Even that short video put out by " Autism Speaks " that shows kids with

very challenging behaviors angered a lot of folks who have kids with

autism- they said, " That doesn't depict MY child/life " and thought it

too skewed towards showing a negative view only.

Do we really want to subject our precious children to the prying eyes

of the rest of the world? WE can speak up for ourselves. Our kids

can't.

I say, be careful about what you ask for. You may get way more than

you bargained for, regretfully.

Also, as a note to all members: No one from any tv program,

university, hospital, research program, newspaper, etc., would ever

be allowed free access to our list archives in order to do research

or writing based on the things that we have shared with one another

here. Since membership is closely moderated to protect everyone's

privacy, no one from Dr. Phil, Oprah Winfrey, or any other such

program could join the list in order to read up on what our lives are

like and then do a show. Anyone can be directed to the Disability

Solutions issue on DS-ASD, or to contact Capone or Bonnie

.

You know how the commercials go- " what happens in Las Vegas stays in

Las Vegas " ? Well, the same goes for this list. Yes, I feel very

passionate about this list! And I think we need to protect one

anothers' privacy so that everyone feels safe sharing here. Many of

us have huge burdens to bear and I don't want anyone to feel that

that their privacy could be compromised.

God Bless Us, Every One!

Beth Mum of Pete, age 17, central Ohio

[Guest guest]

Hi Beth,

I agree.

Charlyne

Beth wrote:

Dear Friends,

Well, I'd like to weigh here about Dr. Phil or any show that could be

used to bring about awareness of families who have children with

DS-ASD.

First of all, what is it we would like to accomplish? Public

awareness? Of what? Of how kids with DS /ASD are more like families

who have kids with ASD? To explain that kids with DS/ASD are not

like kids with " just " DS? (If that is the case, do we REALLY believe

that the rest of the world has a clue about life with kids with ANY

disabilities?)

Once we have opened our doors to the rest of the world, does anyone

think that a balanced, fair-minded snapshot of a day in our lives

could be possible? Do we want people to end up feeling sorry for how

tough some of our home lives our? Or do would we not want to show

the world that despite the challenges, our kids can live a life that

is fulfilling for them and meaningful for their families and

communities as well?

Do we want to help families who have kids with DS learn to be aware

of the signs of autism, and how early dx and intervention can help?

Do any of us think that could be accomplished on Dr. Phil?

Like others have mentioned, I know of some folks who have been on

some talk shows- heck, even our local news shows here in Columbus OH.

The first thing that happens is that once you open your life to

inspection by the rest of the world, EVERYONE has an opinion about

you. EVERYONE. Even the most benign topic of discussion opens up

your private life to someone else judging what they think you

have/haven't done, what you should/shouldn't do, what you look like,

where you live, how you talk, what your child looks like, what your

home looks like, etc. etc.

And once it's put out there on tv or cyberspace, you can't pull it

back off. You will be fodder for gossip for anyone who happens upon

the channel, You Tube, etc.

Among the autism community that I dip into occasionally, everyone has

an opinion about whether families should/shouldn't use

ABA/meds/special diets/segregated/inclusive school programs/etc etc.

etc. when an article highlighting someone appears in a community

newspaper.

Even that short video put out by " Autism Speaks " that shows kids with

very challenging behaviors angered a lot of folks who have kids with

autism- they said, " That doesn't depict MY child/life " and thought it

too skewed towards showing a negative view only.

Do we really want to subject our precious children to the prying eyes

of the rest of the world? WE can speak up for ourselves. Our kids

can't.

I say, be careful about what you ask for. You may get way more than

you bargained for, regretfully.

Also, as a note to all members: No one from any tv program,

university, hospital, research program, newspaper, etc., would ever

be allowed free access to our list archives in order to do research

or writing based on the things that we have shared with one another

here. Since membership is closely moderated to protect everyone's

privacy, no one from Dr. Phil, Oprah Winfrey, or any other such

program could join the list in order to read up on what our lives are

like and then do a show. Anyone can be directed to the Disability

Solutions issue on DS-ASD, or to contact Capone or Bonnie

.

You know how the commercials go- " what happens in Las Vegas stays in

Las Vegas " ? Well, the same goes for this list. Yes, I feel very

passionate about this list! And I think we need to protect one

anothers' privacy so that everyone feels safe sharing here. Many of

us have huge burdens to bear and I don't want anyone to feel that

that their privacy could be compromised.

God Bless Us, Every One!

Beth Mum of Pete, age 17, central Ohio

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/15/2007 11:54:39 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

ppaul1@... writes:

Also, as a note to all members: No one from any tv program,

university, hospital, research program, newspaper, etc., would ever

be allowed free access to our list archives in order to do research

or writing based on the things that we have shared with one another

here. Since membership is closely moderated to protect everyone's

privacy, no one from Dr. Phil, Oprah Winfrey, or any other such

program could join the list in order to read up on what our lives are

like and then do a show. Anyone can be directed to the Disability

Solutions issue on DS-ASD, or to contact Capone or Bonnie

.

That is as long as they announce who they are. There is nothing stopping

them from signing up as a parent just to be able to gather information.

Carol

Trishasmom

She isn't typical, She's Trisha!

Carol

Trishasmom

She isn't typical, She's Trisha!

************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at

http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/15/2007 11:54:41 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

ppaul1@... writes:

And I think we need to protect one

anothers' privacy so that everyone feels safe sharing here. Many of

us have huge burdens to bear and I don't want anyone to feel that

that their privacy could be compromised.

Beautifully said, Beth. ITA!!!!!

Blessings, W

homeschooling Mom to AJ (12), (9), ^l^, (5,

Trisomy 18 mosaic AKA 's syndrome) and Birgitta (age 4, adoption

finalized 2/1/05 !!, Trisomy 21 AKA Down's Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,

Autism, SID)

************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at

http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour

[Guest guest]

You make some very good points. But there would be some value to

awareness, both just Ds awareness and Ds-autism awareness, if done right.

So, does this mean that we can't get Dr. Phil to get Oprah to send

someone over to clean our house? That's all I would want. -- Bob

>

> Dear Friends,

>

> Well, I'd like to weigh here about Dr. Phil or any show that could be

> used to bring about awareness of families who have children with

> DS-ASD.

>

....

> I say, be careful about what you ask for. You may get way more than

> you bargained for, regretfully.

>

> Also, as a note to all members: No one from any tv program,

> university, hospital, research program, newspaper, etc., would ever

> be allowed free access to our list archives in order to do research

> or writing based on the things that we have shared with one another

> here. Since membership is closely moderated to protect everyone's

> privacy, no one from Dr. Phil, Oprah Winfrey, or any other such

> program could join the list in order to read up on what our lives are

> like and then do a show. Anyone can be directed to the Disability

> Solutions issue on DS-ASD, or to contact Capone or Bonnie

> .

>

> You know how the commercials go- " what happens in Las Vegas stays in

> Las Vegas " ? Well, the same goes for this list. Yes, I feel very

> passionate about this list! And I think we need to protect one

> anothers' privacy so that everyone feels safe sharing here. Many of

> us have huge burdens to bear and I don't want anyone to feel that

> that their privacy could be compromised.

>

> God Bless Us, Every One!

>

> Beth Mum of Pete, age 17, central Ohio

>

[Guest guest]

<<Even that short video put out by " Autism Speaks " that shows kids with

very challenging behaviors angered a lot of folks who have kids with

autism- they said, " That doesn't depict MY child/life " and thought it

too skewed towards showing a negative view only.>>

Beautiful post Beth. I remember being so gratified when I saw this video by

Autism Speaks and then WHAM!! the backlash was stupendous. I could foresee

parents with kids with " regular " DS becoming incensed that DS kids were

portrayed as behavioral problems or " weird " or whatever. And of course parents

of kids with Autism will be rushing to distance themselves from our " retarded "

type of Autism, probably claiming it is not real autism anyway. The business of

presenting a fair and balanced (apologies to Fox news) picture of our beloved

kids will be a very delicate dance.

Sherry

[Guest guest]

<<So, does this mean that we can't get Dr. Phil to get Oprah to send

someone over to clean our house? That's all I would want. -- Bob>>

LOL...yeah a couple of room makeovers would be nice. You're funny.

Sherry