Re: Digest Number 1236

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My son is almost 7, he was in a home daycare until he was 5 1/2 when he had to go to a different Catholic school that my babysitters children were enrolled in due to our address. She was wonderful, not "educated" but the most sensitive, caring and patient person I have ever met. She said it was because she had been babysitting other children since the birth of her 2nd child, who was 10 at the time, and just learned how to deal with kids. I have thought about asking her to watch him again after school, as his school offers free bussing to her childrens school at the end of the day. I chose the daycare I have now only because they were the only place that offered bussing to and from his school. We live in MA and the school and daycare are in RI (2 miles away) I thought it would also be good for him to be around other boys, to learn how to play with boys, because his babysitter had 3 girls and just happened to have all girl children to sit. I have not been satisfied since the beginning, but felt I had no other alternative, due to the transportation issue. I had a big disagreement with the daycare administrator after being pushed into having an arguement with her for not addressing my concerns about my sons safety. I have never complained, have always been polite, paid on time, was never late, and she just got me to the point after about 2 years that I had to say something forceful as it now concerned his safety. She tried to insult me and my intelligence, but I had researched the state regs on daycare violations and was very prepared. Then she tried again to try to tell me that she has done this for many years and maybe my son needed to go to a special type of daycare for special needs. When I questioned her on AS she gave me the know it all response ( I have been an RN for 14 years) , and said I had no idea what I was talking about. But I finally got her when I asked if she had children, her response was no, and I said then you will never understand being a mother until you have one!! I have only been with the group 2 days, and I feel so much support, and am learning every day. I think I will have him go back to his old sitter, I'll figure something out, because he is worth it. Thanks---- Original Message -----

From: Rabecca Whalen

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2003 2:59 PM

Subject: RE: Digest Number 1236

Patty,How old is your son? What type of environment does the day care offer? Doeshe do better in higher structured activities or during "free time"? Howeducated is your child's provider? Does she understand AS? I understand howfrustrating it can be to have a child in care where his needs, emotionallyor structurally are not being adequately addressed. I know it is hard andsometimes takes many tries, but researching and finding a provider thatmeets your son's individual needs is key to a successful time, and a goodprovider can give you individualized advice on how best to help himgrow/develop. Books are good, but they won't fix the daycare problem! Hangin there...~hugs~Rabecca(daycare provider for high risk/special needs as well as a parent to an AS13-year-old as well as others... ~grins~)Message: 1 Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2003 22:02:44 -0500 Subject:Hi I am desperate to find ways to handle my son with Aspergers, especiallyin the daycare. His social interaction inabilities are starting to causeissues like teasing, bullying, and he is very desperate to be part of agroup but doesn't act like other kids, and doesn't know how to deal with hisemotions and disappointments. His school teacher is researching and is doinga great job with him, but the daycare is a really bad situation. I also haveOCD and I get quite frustrated with his behavior and want to know how todeal with him and teach him, so I can help him and myself. Please any advicewill be appreciated[This message contained attachments]