Guest guest Posted September 18, 2000 Report Share Posted September 18, 2000 good article about perfectionists from <A HREF= " http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?article_id=2744 " >eDiets.com: Here's The Perfect Way To Stay On Track</A> Here's The Perfect Way To Stay On Track - September 18, 2000 by Dr. H. Sklare eDiets.com Psychologist As I approach a year of working with our members at the Emotional Support Center (ESC) here at eDiets.com, I become increasingly more aware of the commonality of their issues. In other words, we are all so much more alike than we are different. Basically, we all have the same wants and needs -- and we struggle with the same issues. One of the issues that consistently comes up and interferes with weight management is perfectionistic thinking. A perfectionist is someone who allows no room at all for error. The job must be done to the letter or all is lost. The typical weight-loss pattern for a perfectionist: Once they vary from their program, even slightly, they abandon the entire effort. I’m sure many of you will identify with this pattern. This kind of thinking leaves you incredibly frustrated and can make weight management seem like the impossible dream. For example, let’s say that you've followed your eDiets program perfectly for a couple of weeks when, in a moment of weakness, you eat a piece of cake. Now, because you are a perfectionist, you don’t simply chalk this up as a minor slip and get back on the program. Noooooo! Being a perfectionist you equate a minor slip with total failure and so now may even consider yourself a failure. And since you have failed why not eat the rest of the cake. And, of course, what’s cake without ice cream. You see how this pattern develops? This is how perfectionistic thinking sabotages your best effort at weight control. Since no one is perfect, this “all or nothing†mentality dooms you to failure before you even begin. When you equate a “minor slip†with total failure you have no chance of succeeding. Perfectionism in weight control is a built-in guarantee of failure. All right let’s take roll call. All of you who are perfectionists please raise your hands. Just as I thought. You are definitely not alone. In my work and research with Inner Diet over the years, I have gathered research on over 50,000 overweight people. This research revolves around perfectionism and several other emotional issues relating to overeating and weight control. By the way, that’s a substantial sample size. The theory in statistics is that the larger your sample size, the more confident you can be of your findings. Anyway, perfectionism is one of issues I’ve tracked and tested for over the years. My findings reveal that 51% of all overweight individuals have a serious problem with perfectionism regarding weight control. That’s a little more than one out of every two people. So, as you can see, this is a major issue for a great many of you. A perfectionist is someone who brings an unrealistic attitude to weight management. Perfectionists expect the impossible of themselves. So, if you happen to be one of these people, what can you do? Well, the antidote for perfectionism is a three-step process. First, you must set realistic goals. The principle problem here is that as a perfectionist you allow absolutely no room for error. To a perfectionist, a minor slip is equated with total failure. That’s simply untrue and unrealistic. You must incorporate some reality and flexibility into your thinking. The second step involves changing the way you think. It's the irrational belief you must be perfect -- a belief you've held onto and reinforced over the years -- that leads to the " negative result. " To the perfectionist, the thought that a minor slip means total failure promptly leads to the negative result of bingeing or giving up. One leads directly into the other; the thought leads directly into the action. You can't have the negative result without the irrational belief. So you must challenge the irrational belief. The third step in combating perfectionism is preparation. You must learn to be prepared for minor slips. I suggest you have what I call a " retracking plan " in place. It's a technique to get you right back on track once you slip. Here's how it works. Take out a piece of paper and write down a days worth of healthy meals. I then suggest that you go to the store and purchase what you need for these meals so that you have the ingredients available at all times. When you slip, you immediately make these your next three meals. This prepares you to get right back on track should you slip. Set realistic goals, challenge irrational beliefs and be prepared. Now that’s the perfect solution to perfectionism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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