Guest guest Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 Laurie, I am so sorry dear!!!!! I really am. I believe in giving marriage every last shot you can, but not when it's detrimental to your mental or physical well-being. Also, I have never believed that staying together for the children is a good enough reason. Children deserve happy parents. You don't set a good example by being unhappy. I am one of five, and the only one who didn't get divorced. It was hard to watch my siblings go through the pain of divorce, and in 3 instances, children being raised by single parent homes. But you can never convince me (or anyone who knew all 4 situations) that they didn't make the best choice. People stay together for a variety of reasons. I think I'm too egotistical......I want to be adored...but hey, I adore back. Anything less isn't good enough for me. If I found myself in any one of my sibs situations, I wouldn't have stayed either. For many, some things don't matter. You have to be your own gauge and know your stamina and your mental state, along with your limits. Look for support wherever you can (here included). I know you don't have your mom anymore, but hopefully you have some connections, or can find some, to help you through this very tough time. KNow that we're here for you to listen, support and cry with. Giant hugs to you and Mic. Donna ************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 Oh, Laurie! I am so sorry. Please know that you are not alone at this time and we are here for you and Mic. My dh & I have had this discussion, and he was asked by his co-pilot (car pool buddy) last night if her would he be happier without Tori & I and he said the thought really never crossed his mind. At times, he has felt like he should up and walk because of the stress, but said he would never be happy. So many families fall apart due to the stresses of the life we lead ( I know a few personally) , but as you said we all become stronger through the struggle. You and Mic will be fine, although it will be a little rough in the beginning. (((HUGS))) Liz sad but true I am about to become a single mother. Poor Mic he idolizes his father but we just arent gonna make it.Ive tried counseling begging crying everything I can to get steve out of denial and it doesnt work Im too wrapped up in Mic he says. I asked to go to the gym 2 hours a nite 2x a week Steve told me no way. Well ive been trapped in our house for almost 7 years and havent done anything for Laurie IM gonna now. We will be poorer and Im sure added stress but I cant do it anymore and just keep pretending everything is ok with us.Im so much stronger now and I can do it. Steve deosnt think I can but Ive reached out for help and its coming in droves. Sorry for such sad news but it will be better in the long wrung.And thanks to all of you I can. He says he doesnt want visitation ok then dont I am strong. Laurie __________________________________________________________ Missed the show? Watch videos of the Live Earth Concert on MSN. http://liveearth.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 laurie: Try boxing the heavy bag at the gym!!! And then use the toe of your shoe - you are too wrapped up in Mic and then you can't go to the gym!!! Sorry - I wish you the strength of Judith and the wisdom Debora!! > > > I am about to become a single mother. Poor Mic he idolizes his father but > we just arent gonna make it.Ive tried counseling begging crying everything > I can to get steve out of denial and it doesnt work Im too wrapped up in Mic > he says. I asked to go to the gym 2 hours a nite 2x a week Steve told me no > way. Well ive been trapped in our house for almost 7 years and havent done > anything for Laurie IM gonna now. We will be poorer and Im sure added stress > but I cant do it anymore and just keep pretending everything is ok with > us.Im so much stronger now and I can do it. Steve deosnt think I can but > Ive reached out for help and its coming in droves. Sorry for such sad news > but it will be better in the long wrung.And thanks to all of you I can. He > says he doesnt want visitation ok then dont I am strong. Laurie > __________________________________________________________ > Missed the show? Watch videos of the Live Earth Concert on MSN. > http://liveearth.msn.com > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 Hi Laurie ~ Sorry to hear the news, but it sounds like you will be okay, and maybe better off in the long run. Hang in there, hugs, Becky laurie drago wrote: I am about to become a single mother. Poor Mic he idolizes his father but we just arent gonna make it.Ive tried counseling begging crying everything I can to get steve out of denial and it doesnt work Im too wrapped up in Mic he says. I asked to go to the gym 2 hours a nite 2x a week Steve told me no way. Well ive been trapped in our house for almost 7 years and havent done anything for Laurie IM gonna now. We will be poorer and Im sure added stress but I cant do it anymore and just keep pretending everything is ok with us.Im so much stronger now and I can do it. Steve deosnt think I can but Ive reached out for help and its coming in droves. Sorry for such sad news but it will be better in the long wrung.And thanks to all of you I can. He says he doesnt want visitation ok then dont I am strong. Laurie __________________________________________________________ Missed the show? Watch videos of the Live Earth Concert on MSN. http://liveearth.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 Wow Laurie, This is truly sad news. No one likes to see a marriage fall apart. We do carry a heavy load as far as raising a child with special needs. I don't know how I would function without my husband's support. Please know that we will be praying for you. We know how strong you have become. I wish you the best. Keep us posted. Holly sad but true I am about to become a single mother. Poor Mic he idolizes his father but we just arent gonna make it.Ive tried counseling begging crying everything I can to get steve out of denial and it doesnt work Im too wrapped up in Mic he says. I asked to go to the gym 2 hours a nite 2x a week Steve told me no way. Well ive been trapped in our house for almost 7 years and havent done anything for Laurie IM gonna now. We will be poorer and Im sure added stress but I cant do it anymore and just keep pretending everything is ok with us.Im so much stronger now and I can do it. Steve deosnt think I can but Ive reached out for help and its coming in droves. Sorry for such sad news but it will be better in the long wrung.And thanks to all of you I can. He says he doesnt want visitation ok then dont I am strong. Laurie __________________________________________________________ Missed the show? Watch videos of the Live Earth Concert on MSN. http://liveearth.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 " I am about to become a single mother. " Laurie, it is good you have had counseling for yourself before coming to the conclusion to end the emotionally abusive marriage. While we have issues about child rearing I am grateful my DH allows me to have some ME time. It will be very hard for the little guy and he probably won't understand, but he will get through it as you will. I don't know what his developmental level is, but I am sure you will find a way to comfort him. Divorce is never easy. My second husband turned out to be a horrible person after just a couple of months and the divorce was still so painful that I didn't even date for two years after. I became deeply depressed and totally lost trust in the male race because he had been such a fraud. But I got through it. You sound like you are really prepared and already recovering just due to making this decision. Good for you! You will make a better life. As others have said we are here for you when you have bad days and good. P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2007 Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 Hi Laurie, I am so sorry. It takes a couple working together to have a marriage. I know you seemed to be the only person trying. Sometimes things happen for a reason. I have never, in 36 yrs, asked my dh permission if I could go out, I just go. I would have left long ago otherwise. You need to do what's best for you and Mic. You have my phone number if you need to talk. Charlyne Mom to Zeb 14 DS/OCD/ASD? laurie drago wrote: I am about to become a single mother. Poor Mic he idolizes his father but we just arent gonna make it.Ive tried counseling begging crying everything I can to get steve out of denial and it doesnt work Im too wrapped up in Mic he says. I asked to go to the gym 2 hours a nite 2x a week Steve told me no way. Well ive been trapped in our house for almost 7 years and havent done anything for Laurie IM gonna now. We will be poorer and Im sure added stress but I cant do it anymore and just keep pretending everything is ok with us.Im so much stronger now and I can do it. Steve deosnt think I can but Ive reached out for help and its coming in droves. Sorry for such sad news but it will be better in the long wrung.And thanks to all of you I can. He says he doesnt want visitation ok then dont I am strong. Laurie __________________________________________________________ Missed the show? Watch videos of the Live Earth Concert on MSN. http://liveearth.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2007 Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 Hi everybody -- sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything. Life's been crazy busy and when I get to my computer, it seems I have 110 messages to get through. But Laurie -- I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your situation and what you have to go through......but it will get better and like everyone has said you are a strong, beautiful person and such a good mother to Mic. You will be OK. I do it alone everyday and it is hard, but it's doable. Accept help, use the respite that offered around you, and talk to us. I always thought I had it so much harder than most of you guys who have husbands (mine died) -- but a few months back so many of you opened up about how some of your husbands were not much help and it seemed that even with a man in the house it was all still on the shoulders of the moms. That dialogue really opened my eyes about how maybe I'm not so different than some of you out there. And then there are the really great relationships that I admire so much and I think is so wonderful that so many of you have that too. Someday, I hope to have that again, and someday I hope you will too. Hugs, Patty (Syracuse, NY -- mom to Mikey age 8) ************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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