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Donna, My 13 yr old daughter does the same to me at bedtime. Total defiance of

any bed-time rule. She says she cannot go to sleep if she is anxious and she is

always anxious. I give her benadryl to knock her out around 10:30 which

sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. She lashes out with physical violence,

throwing things, and abusive words towards me. My husband works 5 nights a week

and on the nights he is here he cannot contain his temper with her defiant

behavior. I try to calm them both down but things usually escalate to my husband

dragging her into bed screaming and crying. I feel like my family is

disintegrating before my eyes. My husband tells me I set no boundaries for her.

I do, but she refuses to comply. Just to get her to shower once every 5 days is

an all day chore. I am so exhausted most nights I just let her fall asleep with

the TV on. She stays up till 2 AM most nights because she is afraid of bad

dreams. We are in OCD hell here.

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