Re: twin business

[Guest guest]

I agree Al. Most of the parenting issues we face are tied to having twins, not to the Down syndrome. And, I've got more parenting challenges with my "typical" 8-year-old daughter than I do with the boys.

xo maggie

www.walkonthehappyside.blogspot.com

To: Multiples-DS Sent: Sat, August 28, 2010 1:00:37 AMSubject: twin business

Besides being the father of identical twins with DS, I am the brother of identical twin sisters (who do not have Down syndrome). My mother's health was poor when our sons were born, and she died when my twins were just four years old, so I never had a chance to consult her with about the twin-raising business. As I recall, I don't think raising typical twins was any walk in the park; so that means the DS just makes it a bit wilder. It's hard to imagine about what-if, but I think I can assure you that much of the trouble we have with our twins is because they are twins, nothing more.

Al Veerhoff, Kensington, MD, father Will & , 19.

Intro

Hello,My name is Terri, I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, Dave and two beautiful boys, Cameron who has T21 and just turned 4 and who is "typical" and is 2 1/2. Our baby girl who we learned also has T21 is due Oct. 30.Cameron was born with an AVSD and it was repaired at 3 months. Our baby girl unfortunately has the same heart defect and will also need surgery.Neither my husband nor I are carriers of T21 so we were shocked to find out that this baby also has Down syndrome.I'm glad to be here and would love to "meet" anyone else who has multiples who are not twins and are not adopted.

[Guest guest]

All very interesting.....here's another thought.....having one typical and one with Ds, we don't even feel like we have twins...it's more like having a younger child and we often try to " make things fair " . Sam (Ds) is not always ready for things and we don't want to leave him out, but don't want to keep Ray from experiences.  How have you experienced parents in this situation handled this?  

For example, we were invited to dinner the other night to one of those Japanese steak houses where there's fire, etc. and Sam does not like this even if we don't sit at the table.  So we got a sitter for Sam and took Ray (his friend from class was going to be there too).  We did feel guilty, but thought we shouldn't miss things that Ray is ready for.  Of course, if it was our choosing, we'd pick another restaurant, but it was someone else's occasion.  Sam gets so much one-on-one attention from both of us, that we feel Ray needs " his time " as well.  We pretty much do things together and then handle situations that are " too much " for Sam as best as we can, but there have been tears (mine) about it.  They enjoy lots of time together, but definitely have their own life with different schools.  They will be 5 in Dec., so it just seems there's a lot more situations now that they are so far apart....does this continue as they get older?  I'm hoping Sam will get to the point where he's more comfortable and easier to handle in certain situations so it won't even be an issue.  Am I dreaming?

Input appreciated!Sherry

 

I agree Al.  Most of the parenting issues we face are tied to having twins, not to the Down syndrome.  And, I've got more parenting challenges with my " typical " 8-year-old daughter than I do with the boys. 

 

xo maggie

www.walkonthehappyside.blogspot.com

To: Multiples-DS

Sent: Sat, August 28, 2010 1:00:37 AMSubject: twin business 

Besides being the father of identical twins with DS, I am the brother of identical twin sisters (who do not have Down syndrome). My mother's health was poor when our sons were born, and she died when my twins were just four years old, so I never had a chance to consult her with about the twin-raising business. As I recall, I don't think raising typical twins was any walk in the park; so that means the DS just makes it a bit wilder. It's hard to imagine about what-if, but I think I can assure you that much of the trouble we have with our twins is because they are twins, nothing more.

 

Al Veerhoff, Kensington, MD, father Will & , 19.

Intro 

Hello,My name is Terri, I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, Dave and two beautiful boys, Cameron who has T21 and just turned 4 and who is " typical " and is 2 1/2. Our baby girl who we learned also has T21 is due Oct. 30.

Cameron was born with an AVSD and it was repaired at 3 months. Our baby girl unfortunately has the same heart defect and will also need surgery.Neither my husband nor I are carriers of T21 so we were shocked to find out that this baby also has Down syndrome.

I'm glad to be here and would love to " meet " anyone else who has multiples who are not twins and are not adopted.

[Guest guest]

Yup, the twin thing is the hardest thing I have ever done. If the twins were our first kids, I have no doubt there would not have been any other kids in our family!!! LOL! Good thing my girls (who are now 20 and 22) were born first. Love life and be gentle, Besides being the father of identical twins with DS, I am the brother of identical twin sisters (who do not have Down syndrome). My mother's health was poor when our sons were born, and she died when my twins were just four years old, so I never had a chance to consult her with about the twin-raising business. As I recall, I don't think raising typical twins was any walk in the park; so that means the DS just makes it a bit wilder. It's hard to imagine about what-if, but I think I can assure you that much of the trouble we have with our twins is because they are twins, nothing more. Al Veerhoff, Kensington, MD, father Will & , 19. Intro Hello,My name is Terri, I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, Dave and two beautiful boys, Cameron who has T21 and just turned 4 and who is "typical" and is 2 1/2. Our baby girl who we learned also has T21 is due Oct. 30.Cameron was born with an AVSD and it was repaired at 3 months. Our baby girl unfortunately has the same heart defect and will also need surgery.Neither my husband nor I are carriers of T21 so we were shocked to find out that this baby also has Down syndrome.I'm glad to be here and would love to "meet" anyone else who has multiples who are not twins and are not adopted.

[Guest guest]

i am a father of twins they are 14 now at first we thought that it was going to be real hard. then we just started making sure they both did the dame things out side of school. they play baseball and basketball on the same teams. It seams that austin DS has more fun playing in games then his brother dakota. all the kids take real good care of austin and make sure the he feels part of the team. so in the long run they both get everthing they need. you need to take both of them with you were ever you go treat them both as equals and you will see that they both will get the most out of it.

Intro

Hello,

My name is Terri, I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, Dave and two beautiful boys, Cameron who has T21 and just turned 4 and who is "typical" and is 2 1/2. Our baby girl who we learned also has T21 is due Oct. 30.

Cameron was born with an AVSD and it was repaired at 3 months. Our baby girl unfortunately has the same heart defect and will also need surgery.

Neither my husband nor I are carriers of T21 so we were shocked to find out that this baby also has Down syndrome.

I'm glad to be here and would love to "meet" anyone else who has multiples who are not twins and are not adopted.

[Guest guest]

Sherry,I don't think you're dreaming. . .(and even if I did, dreaming is a good thing! It creates opportunity and provides challenge for everyone!)I agree that as much as I'd like to treat my kids "the same", they are individuals who have different needs at times. There are times when insisting on "same" deprives one of an opportunity they are ready for. Movies were overwhelmingly loud and overstimulating for until she was about 8. She had no interest in going and was miserable if we tried. liked them though, and after letting him go with a friend's family a couple of times, I realized that I wanted to share that with him too. So, got to stay with a treasured sitter, watch a "girly movie" (her term) and and I went to a movie. We do things like that with some regularity now., at almost 11 is ready to be alone in the house for 30 minutes or so while I run a quick errand, but is not. It try to make things fun for both of them (he can play a video game at home, she can get a juice at the store) in a way that suits their individuality. wants to ride his bike around the neighborhood with a friend. Stephane is still on training wheels and doesn't consistently stay on the side of the road. He's ready, she's not. It doesn't mean we won't keep working on these things, but I won't keep from them just because his sister isn't ready.Things change, with time. Now, we enjoy the movies together (this summer was Toy Story 3) and this was the first summer wanted to joing us at an annual concert I play that is at night, with fireworks. In the past, her dislike of noise, thunder, staying up late etc. made her completely disinterested, but this year she came and loved it. She's maturing, but in my experience it doesn't always happen in sync. On the other hand, was terrified to go into our basement (main playroom) alone until this summer. For years he would ask to go with him, even to fetch one quick thing. It was a strength she had that he didn't. She would say "it's OK , don't be nervous, I'll go with you!"Keep dreaming!! My guess is that your boys will enjoy so many shared things that the number of things they do separately won't be noticed, or will be seen as individual likes and dislikes, not DS/non-DS issues. They will learn from each others strengths and challenges! Try not to feel guilty 0 you are meeting the needs of each of your boys, and that is a good thing, in my book!Casey Intro

Hello,My name is Terri, I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, Dave and two beautiful boys, Cameron who has T21 and just turned 4 and who is "typical" and is 2 1/2. Our baby girl who we learned also has T21 is due Oct. 30.

Cameron was born with an AVSD and it was repaired at 3 months. Our baby girl unfortunately has the same heart defect and will also need surgery.Neither my husband nor I are carriers of T21 so we were shocked to find out that this baby also has Down syndrome.

I'm glad to be here and would love to "meet" anyone else who has multiples who are not twins and are not adopted.

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much Casey!  Very well put and that seems to be how we have started to do things.  Understand about the movies....Sam used to fall asleep and then was just too scared, but LOVES his DVDs....so he did make it through Toy Story 3 because he was familiar with it.

In a perfect world we could all experience everything happily at the same time with no stress, but the world isn't perfect is it?  I guess we're doing something right as Ray's teacher says he's the happiest child in her class and Sam is very happy as well.

Here's to dreaming and good luck to you with the teenage years!  I'm sure the dynamics of the boy/girl thing contributes to challenges as well, but is lots of fun too!

Thank you!Sherry

 

Sherry,I don't think you're dreaming. . .(and even if I did, dreaming is a good thing!  It creates opportunity and provides challenge for everyone!)

I agree that as much as I'd like to treat my kids " the same " , they are individuals who have different needs at times. There are times when insisting on " same " deprives one of an opportunity they are ready for.  Movies were overwhelmingly loud and overstimulating for until she was about 8.  She had no interest in going and was miserable if we tried.  liked them though, and after letting him go with a friend's family a couple of times, I realized that I wanted to share that with him too.  So, got to stay with a treasured sitter, watch a " girly movie " (her term) and and I went to a movie.  We do things like that with some regularity now.

, at almost 11 is ready to be alone in the house for 30 minutes or so while I run a quick errand, but is not.  It try to make things fun for both of them (he can play a video game at home, she can get a juice at the store) in a way that suits their individuality.  wants to ride his bike around the neighborhood with a friend.  Stephane is still on training wheels and doesn't consistently stay on the side of the road.  He's ready, she's not. It doesn't mean we won't keep working on these things, but I won't keep from them just because his sister isn't ready.

Things change, with time.  Now, we enjoy the movies together (this summer was Toy Story 3)  and this was the first summer wanted to joing us at an annual concert I play that is at night, with fireworks.  In the past, her dislike of noise, thunder, staying up late etc. made her completely disinterested, but this year she came and loved it.  She's maturing, but in my experience it doesn't always happen in sync.  On the other hand, was terrified to go into our basement (main playroom) alone until this summer. For years he would ask to go with him, even to fetch one quick thing.  It was a strength she had that he didn't.  She would say " it's OK , don't be nervous, I'll go with you! "

Keep dreaming!! My guess is that your boys will enjoy so many shared things that the number of things they do separately won't be noticed, or will be seen as individual likes and dislikes, not DS/non-DS issues.  They will learn from each others strengths and challenges!  Try not to feel guilty 0 you are meeting the needs of each of your boys, and that is a good thing, in my book!

Casey Intro 

Hello,My name is Terri, I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, Dave and two beautiful boys, Cameron who has T21 and just turned 4 and who is " typical " and is 2 1/2. Our baby girl who we learned also has T21 is due Oct. 30.

Cameron was born with an AVSD and it was repaired at 3 months. Our baby girl unfortunately has the same heart defect and will also need surgery.Neither my husband nor I are carriers of T21 so we were shocked to find out that this baby also has Down syndrome.

I'm glad to be here and would love to " meet " anyone else who has multiples who are not twins and are not adopted.

[Guest guest]

I agree with Casey. I do the same with my guys even though both have DS (identical twins). They are two different individuals with different interests and levels of ability in different areas even though they are as much on par with eachother as any of our teachers and therapists have ever seen in twins. As a matter of fact, it's recommended, in general, that twins be encouraged to develop independence from the other twin to ensure fully functional adults. You're doing great. The twin thing is a neat phenomenon but you've still got 2 separate children, 2 different individuals to raise. You're doing what's best for each of them. Just keep exposing each to his favored stuff and activities and they'll be fine... separately and together! ;o)! xo maggie Mom to Olivia '01 and & '05 (IDs w/ DS)

www.walkonthehappyside.blogspot.com

To: Multiples-DS Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 2:23:17 AMSubject: Re: twin business

Sherry,I don't think you're dreaming. . .(and even if I did, dreaming is a good thing! It creates opportunity and provides challenge for everyone!)I agree that as much as I'd like to treat my kids "the same", they are individuals who have different needs at times. There are times when insisting on "same" deprives one of an opportunity they are ready for. Movies were overwhelmingly loud and overstimulating for until she was about 8. She had no interest in going and was miserable if we tried. liked them though, and after letting him go with a friend's family a couple of times, I realized that I wanted to share that with him too. So, got to stay with a treasured sitter, watch a "girly movie" (her term) and and I went to a movie. We do things like that with some regularity now., at almost 11

is ready to be alone in the house for 30 minutes or so while I run a quick errand, but is not. It try to make things fun for both of them (he can play a video game at home, she can get a juice at the store) in a way that suits their individuality. wants to ride his bike around the neighborhood with a friend. Stephane is still on training wheels and doesn't consistently stay on the side of the road. He's ready, she's not. It doesn't mean we won't keep working on these things, but I won't keep from them just because his sister isn't ready.Things change, with time. Now, we enjoy the movies together (this summer was Toy Story 3) and this was the first summer wanted to joing us at an annual concert I play that is at night, with fireworks. In the past, her dislike of noise, thunder, staying up late etc. made her completely disinterested, but this year she came and loved

it. She's maturing, but in my experience it doesn't always happen in sync. On the other hand, was terrified to go into our basement (main playroom) alone until this summer. For years he would ask to go with him, even to fetch one quick thing. It was a strength she had that he didn't. She would say "it's OK , don't be nervous, I'll go with you!"Keep dreaming!! My guess is that your boys will enjoy so many shared things that the number of things they do separately won't be noticed, or will be seen as individual likes and dislikes, not DS/non-DS issues. They will learn from each others strengths and challenges! Try not to feel guilty 0 you are meeting the needs of each of your boys, and that is a good thing, in my book!Casey Intro

Hello,My name is Terri, I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, Dave and two beautiful boys, Cameron who has T21 and just turned 4 and who is "typical" and is 2 1/2. Our baby girl who we learned also has T21 is due Oct. 30.Cameron was born with an AVSD and it was repaired at 3 months. Our baby girl unfortunately has the same heart defect and will also need surgery.Neither my husband nor I are carriers of T21 so we were shocked to find out that this baby also has Down syndrome.I'm glad to be here and would love to "meet" anyone else who has multiples who are not twins and are not adopted.

[Guest guest]

THANKS MAGGIE!!!

 

I agree with Casey.  I do the same with my guys even though both have DS (identical twins).  They are two different individuals with different interests and levels of ability in different areas even though they are as much on par with eachother as any of our teachers and therapists have ever seen in twins.  As a matter of fact, it's recommended, in general, that twins be encouraged to develop independence from the other twin to ensure fully functional adults.  You're doing great.  The twin thing is a neat phenomenon but you've still got 2 separate children, 2 different individuals to raise.  You're doing what's best for each of them.  Just keep exposing each to his favored stuff and activities and they'll be fine... separately and together! ;o)!

 xo maggie Mom to Olivia '01 and & '05 (IDs w/ DS)

www.walkonthehappyside.blogspot.com

To: Multiples-DS Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 2:23:17 AM

Subject: Re: twin business 

Sherry,I don't think you're dreaming. . .(and even if I did, dreaming is a good thing!  It creates opportunity and provides challenge for everyone!)

I agree that as much as I'd like to treat my kids " the same " , they are individuals who have different needs at times. There are times when insisting on " same " deprives one of an opportunity they are ready for.  Movies were overwhelmingly loud and overstimulating for until she was about 8.  She had no interest in going and was miserable if we tried.  liked them though, and after letting him go with a friend's family a couple of times, I realized that I wanted to share that with him too.  So, got to stay with a treasured sitter, watch a " girly movie " (her term) and and I went to a movie.  We do things like that with some regularity now.

, at almost 11

is ready to be alone in the house for 30 minutes or so while I run a quick errand, but is not.  It try to make things fun for both of them (he can play a video game at home, she can get a juice at the store) in a way that suits their individuality.  wants to ride his bike around the neighborhood with a friend.  Stephane is still on training wheels and doesn't consistently stay on the side of the road.  He's ready, she's not. It doesn't mean we won't keep working on these things, but I won't keep from them just because his sister isn't ready.

Things change, with time.  Now, we enjoy the movies together (this summer was Toy Story 3)  and this was the first summer wanted to joing us at an annual concert I play that is at night, with fireworks.  In the past, her dislike of noise, thunder, staying up late etc. made her completely disinterested, but this year she came and loved

it.  She's maturing, but in my experience it doesn't always happen in sync.  On the other hand, was terrified to go into our basement (main playroom) alone until this summer. For years he would ask to go with him, even to fetch one quick thing.  It was a strength she had that he didn't.  She would say " it's OK , don't be nervous, I'll go with you! "

Keep dreaming!! My guess is that your boys will enjoy so many shared things that the number of things they do separately won't be noticed, or will be seen as individual likes and dislikes, not DS/non-DS issues.  They will learn from each others strengths and challenges!  Try not to feel guilty 0 you are meeting the needs of each of your boys, and that is a good thing, in my book!

Casey Intro 

Hello,My name is Terri, I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my husband, Dave and two beautiful boys, Cameron who has T21 and just turned 4 and who is " typical " and is 2 1/2. Our baby girl who we learned also has T21 is due Oct. 30.

Cameron was born with an AVSD and it was repaired at 3 months. Our baby girl unfortunately has the same heart defect and will also need surgery.Neither my husband nor I are carriers of T21 so we were shocked to find out that this baby also has Down syndrome.

I'm glad to be here and would love to " meet " anyone else who has multiples who are not twins and are not adopted.