Re: Explaining Ds to siblings

[Guest guest]

Both my sons have DS and I have always

said to them they have DS and sometime things take longer to do or learn

because of your DS. I think what you have already said to your other son is

great and as he gets older and gets around other kids his own age he will start

to ask more question about his brother. The other kids in school may start to

ask him question about his brother. I think getting some books that are age

appropriate for your son is a good thing now so he is ready when his class mates

start asking him questions. Do not over load him with information just enough

that he understands and stop if he does not ask any more questions.

Do you have a organization that does

things like sib shops where kids who do not have a disability can go and talk

about what is like to have a brother or sister with DS or some other disability.

Good luck with it all and I think your son

will help you know when he is ready for more information about his brother.

Caroline

Mom to Neil and 17 years old Twins

with DS

From:

Multiples-DS

[mailto:Multiples-DS ]

On Behalf Of The Giffords

Sent: October-17-10 7:03 PM

To: multiples-ds

Subject: Explaining

Ds to siblings

Hello

there!

Did you ever explain to your typical twin about their sibling having Ds

and if so, what age? My boys are almost 5 and Ray hasn't asked about Sam

and why he does or doesn't do things yet, but we do have to tell him sometimes

that he doesn't learn or grow as fast or that he doesn't understand some things

the same way. Just wondering if we should go into more detail at this

point or wait until he's older. I was just appreciating this weekend that

he hasn't asked and doesn't know, BUT, I sometimes wonder if it would help him

understand Sam better and be more patient with him. I know there is

movies and books that help with explaining, but just wondering when is a good

time.

I met a local mom here that has a son in middle school and they have

never discussed to him that he has Ds and I'm not sure that is the best thing

for him. I feel he should know all about himself and be armed with

knowledge in case he runs into any issues with peers.

Any input is appreciated!

Thank you!

Sherry

[Guest guest]

We have always just been very open with Will and Davey about DS. We have explained at an age appropriate level that both boys are special in their own ways. When Will has questioned us about Davey and how he is different, we try to explain. got very frustrated that Davey did not have a lot of homework, like he did. Davey would tease Will about it too. We actually had Davey's teacher give him more homework this year, so the whole homework routine seems more "fair". We have been involved in Special Olympics since the boys were 8 years old. Both boys have met and made friends with quite a few different people (of different ages) with DS.As yo being patient with Davey, is very sweet and understanding, BUT....... They are still typical rowdy, wrestling, brothers.Hope that helps.mom to Amy 23, Kelsey 20, Davey 10, Will 10 Love life and be gentle, Hello there!Did you ever explain to your typical twin about their sibling having Ds and if so, what age? My boys are almost 5 and Ray hasn't asked about Sam and why he does or doesn't do things yet, but we do have to tell him sometimes that he doesn't learn or grow as fast or that he doesn't understand some things the same way. Just wondering if we should go into more detail at this point or wait until he's older. I was just appreciating this weekend that he hasn't asked and doesn't know, BUT, I sometimes wonder if it would help him understand Sam better and be more patient with him. I know there is movies and books that help with explaining, but just wondering when is a good time.I met a local mom here that has a son in middle school and they have never discussed to him that he has Ds and I'm not sure that is the best thing for him. I feel he should know all about himself and be armed with knowledge in case he runs into any issues with peers. Any input is appreciated!Thank you!Sherry

[Guest guest]

We've always been honest and forthcoming with our now nearly-9-year-old daughter about the boys' Down syndrome and how it might make it harder and/or take them longer to learn things. We told her everybody has their strengths and weaknesses with or without Down syndrome. And everyone does things on their own time. She's always followed my lead and disclosed this information about her brothers to those she felt it was necessary... and only after a short introduction to the boys usually. Last year, in 3rd grade, she had a boy in her class who was somewhat obnoxious and a wise guy. Always teasing and making fun of others. When he asked her "what's wrong with your brothers?" one afternoon, she told him, "absolutely nothing is wrong with them." She then asked me NOT to tell this boy that her brothers have Down syndrome because, she said, "he's not safe!" When I explained

that maybe we could teach him about Down syndrome she said that he's not a nice person and he makes fun of people and she didn't think he was a good person to tell because she would be really mad if he made fun of her brothers. I was so proud of her. It took me years to figure out who was safe and who was not and who could be trusted with certain private information.

Kids are pretty smart. If you give them the information, they'll use and process what they need to as they need to. xo maggie Mom to Olivia '01 and & '05 (IDs w/ DS)

www.walkonthehappyside.blogspot.com

To: Multiples-DS Sent: Mon, October 18, 2010 9:19:32 AMSubject: Re: Explaining Ds to siblings

We have always just been very open with Will and Davey about DS. We have explained at an age appropriate level that both boys are special in their own ways. When Will has questioned us about Davey and how he is different, we try to explain. got very frustrated that Davey did not have a lot of homework, like he did. Davey would tease Will about it too. We actually had Davey's teacher give him more homework this year, so the whole homework routine seems more "fair". We have been involved in Special Olympics since the boys were 8 years old. Both boys have met and made friends with quite a few different people (of different ages) with DS.

As yo being patient with Davey, is very sweet and understanding, BUT....... They are still typical rowdy, wrestling, brothers.

Hope that helps.

mom to Amy 23, Kelsey 20, Davey 10, Will 10

Love life and be gentle,

Hello there!

Did you ever explain to your typical twin about their sibling having Ds and if so, what age? My boys are almost 5 and Ray hasn't asked about Sam and why he does or doesn't do things yet, but we do have to tell him sometimes that he doesn't learn or grow as fast or that he doesn't understand some things the same way. Just wondering if we should go into more detail at this point or wait until he's older. I was just appreciating this weekend that he hasn't asked and doesn't know, BUT, I sometimes wonder if it would help him understand Sam better and be more patient with him. I know there is movies and books that help with explaining, but just wondering when is a good time.

I met a local mom here that has a son in middle school and they have never discussed to him that he has Ds and I'm not sure that is the best thing for him. I feel he should know all about himself and be armed with knowledge in case he runs into any issues with peers.

Any input is appreciated!

Thank you!

Sherry

[Guest guest]

You daughter sounds amazing, and I can only hope my daughter will be the same kind of friend and advocate to her brothers!Thank you for sharing, HeidiMom to Lilly 3 and Teddy (ds) 7 moSent from my BlackBerry® smartphone, powered by CREDO Mobile.Sender: Multiples-DS Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2010 06:58:03 -0700 (PDT)To: <Multiples-DS >ReplyTo: Multiples-DS Subject: Re: Explaining Ds to siblings We've always been honest and forthcoming with our now nearly-9-year-old daughter about the boys' Down syndrome and how it might make it harder and/or take them longer to learn things. We told her everybody has their strengths and weaknesses with or without Down syndrome. And everyone does things on their own time. She's always followed my lead and disclosed this information about her brothers to those she felt it was necessary... and only after a short introduction to the boys usually. Last year, in 3rd grade, she had a boy in her class who was somewhat obnoxious and a wise guy. Always teasing and making fun of others. When he asked her "what's wrong with your brothers?" one afternoon, she told him, "absolutely nothing is wrong with them." She then asked me NOT to tell this boy that her brothers have Down syndrome because, she said, "he's not safe!" When I explainedthat maybe we could teach him about Down syndrome she said that he's not a nice person and he makes fun of people and she didn't think he was a good person to tell because she would be really mad if he made fun of her brothers. I was so proud of her. It took me years to figure out who was safe and who was not and who could be trusted with certain private information. Kids are pretty smart. If you give them the information, they'll use and process what they need to as they need to. xo maggie Mom to Olivia '01 and & '05 (IDs w/ DS)www.walkonthehappyside.blogspot.com To: Multiples-DS Sent: Mon, October 18, 2010 9:19:32 AMSubject: Re: Explaining Ds to siblings We have always just been very open with Will and Davey about DS. We have explained at an age appropriate level that both boys are special in their own ways. When Will has questioned us about Davey and how he is different, we try to explain. got very frustrated that Davey did not have a lot of homework, like he did. Davey would tease Will about it too. We actually had Davey's teacher give him more homework this year, so the whole homework routine seems more "fair". We have been involved in Special Olympics since the boys were 8 years old. Both boys have met and made friends with quite a few different people (of different ages) with DS. As yo being patient with Davey, is very sweet and understanding, BUT....... They are still typical rowdy, wrestling, brothers.Hope that helps.mom to Amy 23, Kelsey 20, Davey 10, Will 10Love life and be gentle,Hello there!Did you ever explain to your typical twin about their sibling having Ds and if so, what age? My boys are almost 5 and Ray hasn't asked about Sam and why he does or doesn't do things yet, but we do have to tell him sometimes that he doesn't learn or grow as fast or that he doesn't understand some things the same way. Just wondering if we should go into more detail at this point or wait until he's older. I was just appreciating this weekend that he hasn't asked and doesn't know, BUT, I sometimes wonder if it would help him understand Sam better and be more patient with him. I know there is movies and books that help with explaining, but just wondering when is a good time.I met a local mom here that has a son in middle school and they have never discussed to him that he has Ds and I'm not sure that is the best thing for him. I feel he should know all about himself and be armed with knowledge in case he runs into any issues with peers. Any input is appreciated!Thank you!Sherry

[Guest guest]

Will and were split up in the second grade, with W going to a school where he supposedly would be better able to hear, and J remaining in his neighborhood school. During October Down Syndrome Awareness Mont, Penny came to the community classroom to talk about her son's condition. Since that day, 's peers have never seemed to find any major difference between them and him.

In a book we examined about siblings' feelings about having someone different in the family, the author mentioned a study of Yale students who were asked about having siblings with disabilities. They split 50-50 an the question of whether they were impeded or helped by having someone with disability in the family. What the study didn't recognize was the more obvious fact: All the interviewees where students at Yale.

Al Veerhoff, Kensington, MD, father to identical 19-year-olds with DS

Re: Explaining Ds to siblings

We have always just been very open with Will and Davey about DS. We have explained at an age appropriate level that both boys are special in their own ways. When Will has questioned us about Davey and how he is different, we try to explain. got very frustrated that Davey did not have a lot of homework, like he did. Davey would tease Will about it too. We actually had Davey's teacher give him more homework this year, so the whole homework routine seems more "fair". We have been involved in Special Olympics since the boys were 8 years old. Both boys have met and made friends with quite a few different people (of different ages) with DS.

As yo being patient with Davey, is very sweet and understanding, BUT....... They are still typical rowdy, wrestling, brothers.

Hope that helps.

mom to Amy 23, Kelsey 20, Davey 10, Will 10

Love life and be gentle,

Hello there!

Did you ever explain to your typical twin about their sibling having Ds and if so, what age? My boys are almost 5 and Ray hasn't asked about Sam and why he does or doesn't do things yet, but we do have to tell him sometimes that he doesn't learn or grow as fast or that he doesn't understand some things the same way. Just wondering if we should go into more detail at this point or wait until he's older. I was just appreciating this weekend that he hasn't asked and doesn't know, BUT, I sometimes wonder if it would help him understand Sam better and be more patient with him. I know there is movies and books that help with explaining, but just wondering when is a good time.

I met a local mom here that has a son in middle school and they have never discussed to him that he has Ds and I'm not sure that is the best thing for him. I feel he should know all about himself and be armed with knowledge in case he runs into any issues with peers.

Any input is appreciated!

Thank you!

Sherry