Re: Pondering (ot)

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lucy,I alreafy gave him a set of tapes. My fiance does not like

Taebo. He does his military workout instead. I would have worked out with

him except he lives 45 minutes away.

I will be very careful and I hear what you are saying about the different

emotional makeup. I had this happen sort of this summer with another friend

of mine this summer. (who was not a mutual friend of ours) He moved away and

right before he moved he asked me to go with him. I think alot of this

started with the present friend a tear ago when my fiance and I broke up for

a day. It was our first big fight, and my fiance is in his first real

relationship (yes I know..not good) so whenever there is a conflict he

runs...well not anymore. Usually our little tifs last like 15 minutes and

they always happen around that time of the month.

I kow that my friend is protecting himself because he met a girl on new years

eve...and STILL has not called to ask her out...even though he talks about

her.

Thanks :-)

,

Give the guy a set of Tae-bo tapes. What would be really good is if you can

convince your fiance to do Tae-bo with your friend, without you.

I have to warn you that men have a different emotional makeup than women. If

he has already been that forward you should be very careful, especially if he

has a history of setting himself up for rejection. If he continues to do this

he is living a fantasy until he is rejected. If he's wrapped up in this

fantasy he may not always recognize rejection and could go too far. He may

just be asking you for help, but be careful for his sake and yours.

Luci >>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, it probably is too late to tell him that its a private matter as we

have been friends for several years and both of us have turned to him for

advice. Oddly enough he helped get us back together on our one split

I'm hoping that it was a week moment for him and he just considered me. I

worked in the conversation an example of my earlier friend from this summer

who kep thimself from reality by going after women he couldn't have and while

he protected himself he damaged other people's relationships. He kind of

got silent when I mentioned that. So maybe it hit home.

I think I will just try to avoid seeing him for a few weeks without my

fiance. The only time that will be difficult is lunch as we usually go out

together once a week. But I'll just have to have a few busy weeks int he

office :-)

When I typed this last night I felt really guilty as if I somehow made him

feel this way on purpose. I know I didn't so I'm feeling better this

morning. My fiance and I can survive it as it has happened to us in the past

onboth sides. ( He always has all these girls calling him after we get off

the air with the tv show..ha ha). I just don't want to loose a friend as

they are hard to come by.

In a message dated 1/16/00 9:38:57 AM Eastern Standard Time, srferron@...

writes:

<< ,

While I don't know everything about how your friend and fiance get

along, I would suggest that you tell your friend that you value his

friendship a lot; that, however, your relationship with your fiance is

a private matter; and, that you wouldn't want for the three of you to

end up in a predicament which could damage the friendship the three of

you have together. Firm, but caring, limit-setting seems to be in

order here. Good luck!

:-)

who hates situations like that >>