social situations

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In a message dated 12/31/03 9:02:31 PM Central Standard Time, autism-aspergers writes:

just turned 15 in October, he will turn 18 in February. They are talkingmarriage, children! He is 'just as oblivious' as DES puts it like herolder son is..and that's why they click so well together. Theyunderstand each other's weaknesses. But who is going to pay the bills?They don't even understand that there is rent, electricity, water bills,groceries, etc. Neither drive. So I'm trying to do whatever I can tosupervise the relationship and educate them as I can and . . .there's noindividual dating until she's 16 (no going anywhere alone)..of course,they can't drive so I don't know where they would go anyway. But theyare VERY affectionate and cuddley and kissey and that is the part thatscares me the most! I don't want to end up where DES's oldest is . . .having a baby and not knowing how to raise it. Beth thinks she wantschildren but she has no idea what a 24/7 commitment to

OH my, I see Maralee wow....oh my... YEAH......wow that does worry me some too. I did not know the whole scope of this situation. hmmmm. If it makes you anymore comfortable (probably not), I once was where she was as a teen too. I had a serious boyfriend, and so forth. I was 15-17 and he was 18 -20 at the time. He was out of his high school when we met. Yes, there were some very close times that we had to wanting to get married. We were obsessed with one another. Guess what, my senior year he dumped me and married a girl that he started dating. This left me horrified as I had given my WHOLE every ounce to him all those years, and neglected my friends. That was the bad part, as I then felt so alone. However, the strange thing is that the girl he married, well she ended up divorcing him and dumped him big time. That was along time ago. I am 44 in April, so we are talking long ago. Anyway, it always hurt me. Fast forward to 1998, I *found * this old boyfriend online through finding some friends for our 20th class reunion, long story. ( I have been married 20 years and so no, I was not intending to start a relationship, but he is special to me and always will be by the way as we kinda "grew up together" and the "first "love in our lives is ALWAYS important, I think. Anyway, he has remarried and has boys, my boys' ages sorta. Anyway, it was funny talking to him and the apologies I heard for the fact that he dumped me then. Oh well. Anyway, oh, I can relate, I mean, as for your situation, on the one side, at least she has a friend, and in her case has many. I had many friends too at that age. I am ADHD not Aspergers, however. I always was social. , my ADHD and ASpergers son has no friends. It is not that he is particularly shy basically, he is just not at all able to have practical conversations and social skills with peers his age. Anyway, there is a down side to each side either having no friends, and having friends. IN each case our kids can find loneliness, anger, hurt, and problems that can multiple. However, I still wish my son were like your Beth and had friends. Your Beth might not be as affected by her Aspergers as my son is, and she is a girl, and that usually means that she is a bit more social and talkative. I just wish that my son had a friend that could understand him. The boy across the street is in 8th grade, and he is my son's friend, but he has had some trouble with the law actually, as he lives with his dad and he is not supervised etc. Long story. So, my son is his friend, but this kid tends to seek out those like him. He also stole some books from my son once. Long story. Anyway, so, I guess you and I both have different situations and neither is a great predicament to be in. Continue sharing as we can all relate which is what is great about this list. I sure hope the best for Beth. You sound like a great caring Mom !

:_) hugs

in IL