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Hi - I am so sorry that the OCD is so strong now. That is so difficult. Have

you already learned about OCD therapy, called Exposure and Ritual Prevention?

The challenge for us as parents, is to understand that it is not defient

behavior - it is OCD. But that they can learn to control it with the correct

therapist. It's not your daughter that is having this behavior - it is her

illness. It isn't easy to understand. Your husband may need therapy himself,

to understand how to parent this child for the next few months - it is really

critical that he understand what is going on, so that you can both help her. If

you have not already found an EPR therapist, let us know, and we can recommend

ways to find one. You might start at the OCD Foundations website,

www.ocfoundation.org. Have you already read books such as What to do when your

Child has OCD: Strategies and Solutions - by Aureen Pinto Wagner? You may want

to ask your husband to read this as well, or to leave the house during the

bedtime hours. There are also some wonderful places around the country, where

she could go for intensive therapy, if that is what would be best for her. But

I'd find an ERP therapist first. My heart goes out to you - let us know how you

are doing. Best - in NC

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> Donna, My 13 yr old daughter does the same to me at bedtime. Total defiance of

any bed-time rule. She says she cannot go to sleep if she is anxious and she is

always anxious. I give her benadryl to knock her out around 10:30 which

sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. She lashes out with physical violence,

throwing things, and abusive words towards me. My husband works 5 nights a week

and on the nights he is here he cannot contain his temper with her defiant

behavior. I try to calm them both down but things usually escalate to my husband

dragging her into bed screaming and crying. I feel like my family is

disintegrating before my eyes. My husband tells me I set no boundaries for her.

I do, but she refuses to comply. Just to get her to shower once every 5 days is

an all day chore. I am so exhausted most nights I just let her fall asleep with

the TV on. She stays up till 2 AM most nights because she is afraid of bad

dreams. We are in OCD hell here.

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