Re: Summer teachers and problems

[Guest guest]

I read the post below and had to put my 2 cents in. Skylar 9 is in the

extended year program at his special ed school. He did great with his reg

teacher all year. No discipline problems very cooperative.

Yesterday the summer teacher called my Mom. I wasn't home. Telling my Mom

how many problems they are having with him and how uncooperative and

negative he is. MOm said the conversation went on for about 20 minutes.

Mom didn't know exactly how to respond to all of this so she basically

listened (and started really worrying)

Sky has been very negative with me the last few days and was totally

obnoxcious when his therapist came here last night. He wouldn'teat anything

I had, so of course being hungry didn't help the situation. He had a very

busy day of going on a field trip to the water park on the boardwalk and

then coming home and talking the guy upstairs into taking him to the beach

for about a 1/2 hr. He had a small meltdown but I managed to get him to

take his night meds and he fell asleep about an hour later around 8 pm. I

also told him he was staying in the house tonight and I ment it. And he

will be in bed at 8pm again. Tomorrow he has to write a letter of apology

to his therapist on the computer or else he will stay in.

To him the worst thing in the world is to stay in when the weather is

beautiful like this. I kinda relaxed the rule about no cartoons. He has

eaten 2 huge red bell peppers, 3 or 4 pickles and a hamberger with fried

onions. Oh, he just asked for a bowl of cereal. And he is starting to

sound civilized. I must agree about the comment about how a bad

experience with a teacher can cause major problems. Sky started in a reg

kindergarden for about 5 months and never told me what was going

on..Everyday he said things were good. I found out in Nov that he wasn't

allowed to participate in music, art, gym, halloween party because of his

behavior. It is now 4 years later and he still refuses to go back in that

school. He loves his current school and hasn't missed a day of school in 2

years. It has already been decided that when the time comes for Sky to go

back to a reg school he will be sent to a different district.

With all of his crazy behavior last night and the negative things he was

saying I kept my cool and didn't let things get out of hand. But I'm almost

afraid to say this,, at one point, this wonderful little boy who always

wants to be in control of the situation, picked up a hammer and started

tapping himself in the head till I was able to get it out of his hand, and

then this morning got up and announced to me " When you were sleeping Mom,

I got up and hit myself with the hammer again. " They were just little taps

and no marks were visible but I'm honestly concerned. I called his

therapist this afternoon and asked her to call me later tonight after he's

in bed. I'm not sure if it was him looking to get me upset (he said he

likes to push buttons) or if this is gonna lead to something else. I have a

nephew who self mutilates and there is plenty of mental problems in his

fathers family.

Sorry this is so long I needed to get this out and maybe figure out what is

happening.

Sharon in So Jersey

>

>Reply-To: autism-aspergers

>To: <autism-aspergers >

>Subject: Re: To Sharon

>Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 16:22:59 -0700

>

>Hi Sharon,

>Welcome, and boy do you have your plate full! But the nice thing is you

>have come to a place where many of the rest of us have either been in your

>shoes or are currently there!

>

>First, take a deep breath and give your little guy a big hug. There is

>nothing worse than being misunderstood and it sounds like he has been

>misunderstood a LOT!! Poor guy. I am a kindergarten teacher myself and

>there is nothing I hate more than a teacher who makes a child feel

>belittled

>or unsure of themselves. That is the worst thing a teacher can do. I hope

>no child in my class ever feels that way!!

>

>Your child definitely sounds like he has some sensory issues. I would

>recommend getting in contact with a good occupational therapist who can

>help

>your child learn to deal with touch, sounds and tastes better. Our son has

>had OT since he was 4 (he is 8 now) and it has done him a world of good!

>

>My son is also extremely skinny (don't know where he gets that from! Not

>his mom, that is for sure!!! <grin>) He only weighs about 45 pounds. But,

>he hardly ever gets sick and is very healthy, so our pediatrician is not

>concerned. We also have him on the Feingold diet which eliminates all

>artificial flavors, colors and preservatives. It has helped tremendously

>with his behavior and focus.

>

>You mentioned that your son used to be very happy and is now sad and unsure

>of himself. That sounds so much like my son when he was in first grade.

>He

>also had a terrible teacher who made him feel like he was a failure. He

>would come home from school every day mad at the world and sure he was a

>horrible person. Fortunately, that teacher was only a temporary teacher

>(the regular teacher was on maternity leave), but the damage was done. It

>took a long time for him to start to feel good about himself and school

>again.

>

>But, I want to give you hope. Today, my son is an extremely happy and

>content 8 year old. He loves school and is doing a great job at his new

>school. The right environment can make all the difference for our kids.

>He

>now attends a private school for kids with autistic spectrum disorders and

>loves it.

>

>I also want to encourage you to get some counseling for yourself. It

>sounds

>like you had a tough childhood and raising a child with special needs can

>be

>a challenge to even to most mentally healthy, much less those of us with

> " issues " from our own childhood (again, been there done that). I just

>recently broke down and agreed to go on an antidepressant and I am amazed

>at

>how much better and stronger I feel and more able to tackle the issues that

>come my way on an almost daily basis.

>

>Good luck and hang in there. We have all been there and are here to

>help!!!

>

>Debi

>

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